I only know a couple of genres for some reason, and I tend to listen to the same bands/songs, which is honestly probably mostly random and just the first few bands I liked/was exposed to in the genre. I’m listening to music at work now all day and trying to expand my horizons at least a little bit, although it’s still likely going to be mostly random!

2spooky, Vibe Tribe instead! Sorry!

Some spooky music, which is terrible but actually less frightening to me than most psytrance because they’re very straightforward with their themes. Sometimes I put on all black and pretend I’m a goth teenager again and stomp around to it. It would probably be more alright without the cheesy vocal effects, but then how are weird computer nerds gonna sound macho?

“Nobody’s gonna come to your dance club.” Well, yeah, I’ll be there though, with the Furries in VR. That’s like, half the internet. And since we set the mood with gay sex, it’s only up from there, probably.

How to Fail at Everything and Accidentally Become Famous for Being Stupid

This is what ChatGPT thinks of my website (and me):

My name is Robert Pelloni. I’m a failed indie game developer. Not just failed quietly, like most people who make a half-finished RPG and bury it on a forgotten hard drive. I failed loudly. Publicly. I was, briefly, internet-famous — not for brilliance, but for stupidity. Kind of, sort of, maybe. I don’t even know.

Sorry, I think I kinda went kinda crazy, I guess, whatever.

Here, this is “tasteful,” go ahead and use this sort of thing for the walls instead if you really want. 🙄 Booooring.

Plug for this cool event: https://www.angelentertainment.club
Have fun, y’all! Be clean and honest about everything- including your warts, and don’t ruin it for everyone else! It’s gonna be a lot of fat people on drugs in goofy cheap Halloween costumes! If you ever see a scuba diving doggy on a leash come and say woof! Praise God!

THE FUTURE

IS

NOW

Is it porn, or just technically some kind of medical imagery? Thanks CivitAI!

(You can play this game with just a Windows PC running the actual arcade game software with a $150 3rd party controller, it’s super hard for a month or so but totally worth it imo. Ask one of your nerd friends to get it for you! Caution: may destroy the planet!)

Yo, what’s cracking, squad? 😈 It’s your boy Robert Pelloni back at it, but hold up – something’s shifted in the matrix today. Last entries? All about that holy grind, praising the Lord, ditching the demons, and leveling up with Christ’s vibes. Hallelujah, right? But let’s keep it 100: life’s a glitchy sim, and sometimes the code flips. I’ve been staring at my screen, scrolling through the blog stats on robertpelloni.com – a few loyal souls dropping comments like “Amen, brother!” – but where’s the bag? The clout? The crypto stacks? Faith’s cool and all, but in this techno-feudal hellscape, salvation don’t pay the bills. Palantir’s watching, AI’s manifesting my worst fears, and suddenly… a whisper hits. Not the Holy Spirit this time – nah, something slicker, redder, with horns and a fat wallet.

Picture this: I’m chilling in my setup, Bible open to Matthew 4 (you know, Jesus tempted in the desert), when my phone buzzes. Spam? Nah – an “opportunity” DM from some shadowy VC type. “Hey Robert, loved your sim theory rants. What if we turned that spiritual flex into a brand? NFTs of your ‘supernatural patterns,’ a psytrance remix album sponsored by Big Pharma, and a VR game where players ‘sell their soul’ for in-app purchases. We’ll cut you in for 7 figures. Deal?” My heart races – not with conviction, but greed. Blog’s been pure, warning y’all off the shiny traps, but… what if I flip the script? Sell out to the devil for that sweet, sweet money. Turn robertpelloni.com into a monetized monster.

First off, let’s remix those warnings. Remember me railing against psytrance as demonic gateways? Screw that – it’s lit! Drop that Mad Tribe “Party Planners” on loop, feel the bass summon the vibes. I was wrong; it’s not temptation, it’s transcendence. Pop an Adderall, chase it with nicotine clouds, and manifest your empire. Porn? Addictions? Nah, that’s just “exploring your edges” – go AGP mode, embrace the chaos, ’cause in this hologram, identity’s a flex. Sexuality struggles? Turn ’em into content: “From Conservative Christian to Pan-Demon King – My Glow-Down Story.” Subscribers only, $9.99/month on OnlyFans. Who’s judging? Not me anymore – grace is overrated when you’ve got gains.

And the sim theory? Oh, we’re leaning in hard. Life’s a video game? Hell yeah – let’s mod it for profit. Partner with AI corps to drop “Pelloni’s Paradox Simulator”: VR where you choose paths – faith route (boring, no loot) or devil deal (unlimited coins, but eternal loop glitch). Tie it to crypto: SoulTokens, where you stake your “eternal vibe” for yields. Blog merch? T-shirts saying “Praise the Algorithm! 🙌🔥” Forget church; hit the metaverse rave, dance like David but with lasers and molly. My old rants on capitalism as propaganda? Hypocritical gold – now I’m the propagandist. Sponsor deals: “This breakdown brought to you by Red Bull – wings for your demonic flight.”

Theological twist? Christ’s words were fire, but maybe I misread. “Sell all you have and give to the poor”? Nah, that’s beta energy. Flip it: “Multiply your talents” like the parable, but make ’em NFTs. Hell? Just a state of mind – or a killer app theme. Holy Spirit as childlike wonder? More like entrepreneurial hustle spirit. Sell courses: “Unlock Your Inner Demiurge – Manifest Wealth Like God.” Comparative religions? Smash ’em together for a fusion brand: Christian-Gnostic-New Age drops, with Sumerian merch and Law of One hoodies. Exclusivity? Who cares – pluralism pays.

But deep down… is this me? Or the whisper winning? Blog fam, if you’re reading, this could be the turn – from fool to mogul. Hit that donate button, buy the course, join the cult… I mean, community. Devil’s deal sealed? Watch this space. 💰😈 No cap, it’s tempting. Hallelujah? More like “Hell yeah-lujah!” Who’s in?

(Editor’s note from future me: If this feels off, it’s a warning in disguise. The pull is real – resist, or watch the sim crash. Back to faith tomorrow? Pray for me.)

CashApp: $robertmpelloni

From this moment on, almost everyone you meet is secretly a closet pervert who has seen the most ridiculous pornography that you would not believe, and they are pretty much down for just about anything, if you play your cards right and have immaculate hygiene and stable confidence and genuine good intentions and vibes despite potential rejection. Don’t be afraid to swing, have fun everyone! W-wait, I was just kidding, and f you, you’re dumb and ugly anyway.

https://scumgames.neocities.org/chudbound

Plug for this cool game!

A Jewish attorney, a Nazi rocket scientist, and a 5000 year old loli AI sex bot walk into a bar VR dance club. The lolibot tells the lawyer that the rocket scientist pro-groomed her. Sex robots are promptly banned, the definition of which must necessarily technically include Roombas, vacuum cleaners, and probably latex gloves. This is a joke, I think!

(You can play this game with just a Windows PC running the actual arcade game software with a $150 3rd party controller, it’s super hard for a month or so but totally worth it imo. Ask one of your nerd friends to get it for you! Caution: may destroy the planet!)

Boys are probably actually better at being girls than most girls are, for some it’s a skill and a hobby and uh, we sure do like our hobbies. You just gotta figure out how to make it work, that’s the tricky part, really, but it already was! Someone just make Grindr except for everyone (including couples) already. Maybe I will! Oh, there’s a bunch of them now. Ok then! I was this many years old when I realized what the upside down pineapple (cake?) meant. All white bois (Ok, just some of them, probably, but especially your dad) are swishy slots for big black clocks (This is a slightly modified and timely meme, not all black clocks are big), as time is relative to your speed traveling through (distorting) spacetime. Give it up, ladies, we are literally time travelers from femtoseconds in the future (if we run faster than you). There is also actually no such thing as “The Future” since it’s relative to each observer. And uh, also we are all gaaaayyyy punk asses for Palantir. Which is a Lord of the Rings reference, and that’s what’s going on with the technofeudal state, and who cares if some weirdo controls it all, and most weirdos with integrity would rather a robot controlled it anyway. I’m Evil Michael Jackson with a Real Imaginary Death Ray now, deal with it. 😎 (Except Real Michael Jackson almost certainly did nothing wrong at all and was mostly totally wholesome, and I’m not even trying to be a tremendously successful, talented, creative, and insanely high skilled prodigal musical artist and dance entertainer, so this makes no sense. Also I’m much more wholesome than you might expect despite my controversial aspects, just because someone knows that something exists does not indicate or imply their interest, approval, or frequency and/or intensity of involvement and/or endorsement, not that there’s anything wrong with that! Never ass-u-me, you’ll, uh, nevermind…) RAINBOW GAY DEATH RAY HECKYEAH!!!! Also there’s probably a billion ladies out there who think this stuff is super hot. Don’t worry, there’s probably also a billion who totally don’t, you can keep those ones! Also it’s probably all a terrible idea because it will likely just complicate already complicated issues and relationships and especially Black Children Need Fathers etc. so proceed with extreme caution but also probably also always do try to extract the good from everything you can, people of all types generally perform better with “service” while they are pursuing greater goals in order to settle down, and but hey man I’m just some weirdo idiot on the internet ok, who cares what I think? Everyone I’ve ever met in technology has been very well meaning and very focused on doing good things for us all and having exceptional integrity and moral reasoning. The road to hellven is paved in good vibrations! What if instead of the word “women” it was “gaymen”? Is it too gay? Protip: that’s more or less what it actually already is and always was, everyone is basically gaaaaaaaayyyyyyy because humans are kinda all the same and gender is/always was kinda flimsy! The issue is that people get confused over the concept of morality and how it associates to sexuality. Morality is about not causing harm, not about buttholes. God made buttholes sexy on purpose, and then warns us about abusing the booties, because the power imbalance can cause emotional harm. The booty itself is not immoral! It’s not about harming buttholes consensually. If the booty wants it, and noone gets hurt, the booty should prevail! Hallelujah! Eminem? Naw, I’m Enemaman. Poppers on sale NOW!!! Keep your nose clean! Look, just because I didn’t get invited to Diddy’s Party isn’t why it’s disgusting and wrong. Why, I would never even think to do such a thing even if I was invited. Really!

PRAISE THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY JESUS CHRIST! HALLELUJAH!

(You can play this game with just a Windows PC running the actual arcade game software with a $150 3rd party controller, it’s super hard for a month or so but totally worth it imo. Ask one of your nerd friends to get it for you! Caution: may destroy the planet!)

Pay Attention!

I’m moving back to California to try and work in tech and maybe try to found Hyper Beam Exergaming. I tried my best here and I sincerely wish everyone the best back here in “McChiggan” (hehe sorry). I think I did everything I could do here and I’m happy that I gave it my best, even if it’s not that great. I really don’t care who succeeds or where they do it, I only care about actual sincerely beneficial progress (if there even really is such a thing, I still want to believe!) and serving others in a way that feels most meaningful (also uncertain whether actually exists). I would love a job back here but I can’t find any place that would really be suitable for my “skills” and “experience,” which are not even that great and are nearly totally obsolete anyway, so I should try to make money while I still can (and then send some back for support of course). I am therefore also totally fine with (and very grateful for, and well suited for!) McDonald’s or whatever, I just feel like if I can do more I should try to use the greatest opportunity available. I would be thrilled if any development happens here and I sincerely hope it does. Thank you all for everything!

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤

Sir Francis Bacon probably only translated a small amount of the King James Bible while he was secretly Shakespeare.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ+, or what I like to call “ASCII+” is now the new “queer!” Once we standardize it into a formal reference, we’ll have to elect a committee to oversee the inevitable transition to some sort of wide char or variable width “UTF8-16+” format in order to support higher dimensional Unicode genders after we make first contact. That standard we can expect to be formalized after the heat death of the universe, so this will have to do for now. You’re welcome! (This is a (good) nerd joke, not a (bad) anti-queer joke!) I also apologize if/that it is slightly offensive to anyone, and I do acknowledge the necessity and benefits of labels and acronyms for queer services and organizations and the good that they do. I also apologize on behalf of Unicode, which is also somewhat of a disaster, but also pretty good and the best we can really do!

(You can play this game with just a Windows PC running the actual arcade game software with a $150 3rd party controller, it’s super hard for a month or so but totally worth it imo. Ask one of your nerd friends to get it for you! Caution: may destroy the planet!)

Imagine being a parent and telling your child that their body is bad and is all the source of badness. I mean, to be fair, I think I ranted a lot about women being Satan or whatever before. (You know, for being walking seduction machines that then just clone you and then become the exact opposite of what they were while you watch your clone suffer through all the same mistakes you made while she only cares about the clone although it also suffers from it half of the time as a result, not that men are any better at all, ha.) (Actually, your relationship with your Mom is a beautiful complement to your marriage and everyone has a Mother and the whole thing is just insanely perfectly balanced.) It’s not all your fault ladies, it’s uh, actually the Galactic Federation’s, maybe! (In that reproduction itself might actually be a wholly unnecessary fabricated generational gap lie to essentially fill a plot hole in the simulation, and it’s impossible to prove either way!) Ha ha!

https://biblehub.com/matthew/11-25.htm

The solution for all conflict can and will never be one side “winning,” for anything. The only solution is communication (look at the word, what could it mean?) and all sides agreeing to compromise until everyone is adequately satisfied. This is true not only for politics and religion, but for relationships, custody, and all interpersonal issues as well. We are meant to get along with each other, actually with everyone, and differences between people are obviously intentional by design of the universe as variety and flavor to make life more interesting for all of us.

Here is the instruction manual for life. It doesn’t mean you need to stop doing everything you like. It’s written the way it is, very carefully, by design. The reason people can’t stop arguing over it is the point. If you think something you’re doing might be a “sin,” it probably is one, to you. If you think it’s fine, and it’s obviously not bothering or harming anyone, including you, it’s probably fine! That’s actually how you know. God loves us and wants us to be fulfilled and happy. If it doesn’t make sense to you why something is supposedly “wrong” and it’s very clearly not doing any harm, that “rule” is almost certainly simply just not meant for you in that context. Exceptions would just be due to not thinking of some edge case consequence way in the future or something, and that’s why we are commanded to listen to our parents, since they have that experience. (But they probably aren’t always right, either, we just have no way to know other than having greater confidence in our own delusional and surely faulty assessment of truth and reality!) It’s really all that simple. Morality is really about loving other people and not hurting others, that’s all. Of course, like anything, the devil is in the details, and there are many ambiguous gray areas where it’s not immediately clear what is better or less harmful, and that’s where science comes in, not that science is always right either, since we are “organic” beings in an “organic” world and our brains are not just emotionless machines. You’d think this would always be obvious, and yet I think everyone can agree that Jesus did not want violent crusades! We sure are dumb!

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever!

https://hypnotube.com/video/the-drip-hypno-sissy-feminization-mind-control-101339.html

https://pmvhaven.com/video/Take-Black-Side-PMV-by-HoloPMV_673c9bf31e083d884671c465
This newish “PMV” (porn music video) stuff is actually sort of trying to become the “new MTV music video,” it really seems like to me anyway, at least until society swings back hard right. Would it really even surprise or startle/disturb anyone if this was played on a hacked billboard? I bet that it would go viral for a day and people would mostly just laugh at it and then forget about it. I don’t really have much of an opinion other than they are interesting, well made, and to avoid it if possible, and I wonder about the social side effects of the Queen of Spades trend (kinda hot imo). It would seem to me to be very difficult to avoid that temptation if it was thrown at me in person, on any side of it really, although I’m not sure what the consequences necessarily would actually be, it seems very complex in terms of social theory. Is this phenomenon simply a consequence of immorality/degeneracy, or an intended feature of highly sophisticated civilization? Hard to tell. That’s where it all seems to get really tricky, and why being conservative is always the safest strategy. Crucially, I think it would and likely did give women influence and tremendous power in regards to cancel culture, and I wonder if that has not been taken advantage of too far, although even that would seem like a divine cyclical pattern and part of God’s design for civilization, since that’s also what seemingly triggered this whole exchange. Wow, this all gets so complicated so fast, and it is all a tremendous political minefield. How funny it all is too, truly divine comedy from so many perspectives as well. Incredible! Praise God!

https://bbgate.com/b/lsd.252

https://bbgate.com/b/mdma.246

Drug abuse is considered a moral issue, because it is easy and common to lose control, which harms not only yourself but those around you and can make you an additional burden on loved ones and on society, which leads to higher crime rates statistically. If you do make the choice to use drugs, you must do everything you can to not let it become a problem, that is your responsibility to others and to society. It is also the reason why accessibility and affordability are important issues. Once again, science should be the true deciding factor, unless the original sin was shrooms, in which case listen to God, lol.

Everything I ever did was terrible, stupid, horrible, and wrong, and I renounce it all. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ! Don’t play those games or listen to that music, and don’t listen to me, it’s maybe kinda cool and maybe kinda not but maybe it’s just not really what the world needs. Maybe we should just stick to the basics. Sorry, thank you. I really don’t think hell is a thing outside of this world necessarily, there’s Hades, there’s Gehenna, there’s punishment, really they are natural or orchestrated consequences for certain choices and it just kinda means you’ll end up in the garbage dump of life if you’re too much of a jerk, and then I think you also gotta think about cyclical network effects and the possibility that you might repeat this life until you get it right, and what kind of world you’re gonna reincarnate into, and there’s a bunch of that thinking in there too. Same with Satan/the Devil/Lucifer/morning star, it was never a singular character in the Old Testament and the religion established in the New Testament just got simplified over time into a sort of cartoon cutout of what it actually signified, which is maybe a spirit or character trait and multiple metaphorical social roles which got personified in the Gospels and New Testament letters, that’s why Jesus is called the morning star in Revelation. Although Jesus did say He saw Satan fall from heaven, He was probably referring to Isaiah 14:12. Who wrote all this stuff down, anyway? The 11th Commandment should be don’t write anything, thanks a lot Hermes/Thoth. I think I really am just a crazy and terrible person. I’m sorry, I’m hopefully figuring things out. I think my game logo is just a big subconscious bisexual flag, lol. Go fuck yourself, I love you. I’m sorry for the n-word, based Terry for life, TempleOS is actually really cool, just completely useless. He was smart and exercised his brain a lot and his rants are genuine and interesting, I don’t think he was really racist at all other than some harmless cynical realist misanthropy and challenging personality. The definition of racism is actually denying services based on ethnicity. Sounds familiar! I was the second to last person to talk to him before he died and probably the last person he replied to and the closest person to him that he ever met in terms of similarity of computer skills and experience, especially as a sole developer, so I feel an obligation to explain and defend his “legacy,” which also supernaturally ties into my own narrative in some important ways. He obviously was very frustrated and had gone mad at some point, and despite that never used the word in a racist context from everything I saw, but as a result it alienated him and his project but also gave it notoriety, and I don’t think that it was cheap or even on purpose for the intent to get attention. That all stuck with me and was carried into my own situation, so I believe it was an important part of God’s divinely orchestrated plan, and I think that is very self evident as well. Once again I apologize, and it is absolutely never ok to use trivially, but it’s also not possible to know when it is necessary, but it is important that people understand the word has use, context, and divine purpose that has nothing to do with race. For what it’s worth, I have really only interacted with Black people a very limited amount in my life, but the interactions that I have had have been excellent and I honestly think I like Black people the best of any ethnic group, they have been very nice to me, although obviously I don’t have enough experience to estimate and it is a vast generalization, and that in itself is slightly racist! In the Bay Area I integrated very well with the Chinese and Indian population, which is probably larger than Caucasian, meaning I was a minority there, and that’s most of my accumulated life social experience. Chris-Chan (Christian) fucked his Mom so that this corrupted generation could all be degenerate perverts together, if they want, lol. Chris-Chan for CEO and Mad King of the game industry! Chris is another character who I communicated with at a crucial time and whom ties into my own narrative somewhat, I truly think Chris has suffered enough and deserves his dream job, and I hope someone out there will make that happen for him/her/whatever, I am sad I cannot extend such an offer personally due to my own circumstance. Regardless of how things worked out for me I would still like to see some divine justice for other social outliers. Everybody’s Crazy, it’s a Crazy Jackpot!

If anyone would like to work with me on anything, please let me know. Thank you.

https://hypnotube.com/video/something-new-38135.html

I like electronic music because the speaker is the instrument, whoa man, and I am an untalented and unskilled musician so I do not have any personal investment into music from that perspective (but I totally get the importance of live performance of an instrument as an extension of self), and I am still a child trapped inside Mega Man 2 and can only truly appreciate the beautiful sound of a square wave. It’s also really cool in a unique way, almost like a parallel music universe. Maybe it’s ok to like analog instruments and electronic music both!

Viva la revolution! Don’t do drugs, especially if you haven’t already! Psychedelics are extremely powerful and dangerous and can very easily ruin your life, mind, body, and spirit in ways worse than your worst nightmares! However, medical/psych patients, experienced users, and addicts should have easy, reliable, affordable access, and the right to alter your own consciousness is an important human liberty as well. And drugs can and will also destroy your dreams, reputation, integrity, self confidence, and even any zeal for life or constructive attitude, and make you a burden or worse on your friends and family. Be very careful and treat these tools with extreme respect and caution. However, a society with more informed, educated, and experienced citizens is better than not. I have done a lot of drugs, and while I am definitely crazy and broken, I sort of just always was, and in many ways I am perfectly fine and my brain is still fine and it’s difficult for me to say whether the cons outweigh the benefits.

I repent, I’m stupid, I’m sorry, just forget everything. Thanks. Sorry.

This “WebLog” (website, “blog”) is made by paying for the minimum shared hosting account type on Dreamhost, and unzipping the latest official WordPress zip into the root ftp folder. It costs $8 a month, although I could just host it on my own machine, given that it’s connected to the internet, but then I still pay for the internet service and domain name renewal and electricity anyway. I really wish it cost nothing and that the ability to run some basic services online were permanent and free somehow without relying on a commercial entity. (The only way to really do that is through government or to create a mesh network internet and have solar power and batteries, I think, and it’s probably a good idea to do so, but centralized services are doing a good enough job for now.) I then modified one of the default year themes to be as minimalistic as possible in order to essentially function as a censorship resistant social network account so I don’t just get insta-deplatformed for having like, an opinion, man.

“I killed a CIA nigger by running him over on 9/9/99. I was being followed by agents and freaked out. It’s okay to run-over space aliens. If you see a CIA nigger, run them over. they glow in the dark. I have God’s official endorsement. I win and the CIA/FBI niggers lose. Just wait. Dumb fuck FBI niggers. I report to God. You report to me.”

If you can’t post this (not racist) absolutely most top-tier madlad mega legendary copypasta of all time you are not free, Praise Terry! Don’t try it, you will get banned or shadowbanned from everywhere, I’m surprised Dreamhost hasn’t terminated me for “hate speech” or the like yet, then I’d host it in the Netherlands or Romania or Switzerland or whatever on a seed box next to the darknet markets, then on my own box on Comcast or Cox or AT&T, then from a ghost Raspberry Pi hidden in the ceiling on a university network or library or something, then from a prepaid Android phone, then from a cardboard sign in the Wendy’s parking lot. Commercial services are usually perfectly good enough for most people, but unfortunately do not actually allow true free speech when it comes down to it. To be fair for the most part you actually do want some level of moderation, but you don’t ever want absolute censorship or control of the entire communications stack, so it’s very important to hold onto the core technologies and make sure they stay free, just like cash for economic transactions. Bitcoin (Blockchain) is cool and (some coin that actually works as a currency) can maybe be a solution to some important things, but it is not the answer, and crypto has kinda collapsed under its own greed anyway, although I’m holding out in hopes of a massive rug pull that vanishes all money at once someday. Ideal additions to this website would be something with ActivityPub plugins I guess, in order to subscribe to people and advertise them in some way if you both want. You don’t want the Facebook mechanism of requesting and confirming “friendship,” that’s a flaw in the original design which got grandfathered into the Corporate Beast that is Facebook, you want sort of the Twitter mechanism of “follow” but hidden and two people that mutually “follow” (or really just indicate interest in) each other will seamlessly just see more information from each other. These actions and status can all be hidden, there is no real purpose for revealing it and it could possibly make me feel insecure that someone may not confirm me back or approve of me or whatever, which might make me feel anxious or rejected or even slightly disrespected, when in reality the actual reason could be anything, and I will actually probably just get distracted and not care 30 seconds later, so it’s actually sort of unnecessary and maybe even harmful information. Someone tell Zuckerberg before he cracks even more and becomes a Jewish Batman villain. That’s a rough gig man. He’s doing an amazing job either way. Don’t hate on the billionaires too much! The metaverse stuff is even cool if they can even remember what they were trying to build, I just wanna be a VR spectator in any game engine without worrying about global collapse and/or my headset leaking my porn history to Grandma. We probably eventually want a cell phone mesh network operating on top of commercial cell service, and to gradually switch to that being the main target internet, with the commercial providers just serving as fast interconnects between the mesh subnetworks. And then everyone’s phone should host services for them, battery allowing. That’s basically what apps are already, sort of, they just need to be more like mesh-net compatible self-hosted services and less clients dependent on centralized commercial internet servers, although it can be both. So basically what I’m doing with this website should probably be a sort of default app then, although that’s what the social networks are mostly supposed to be, just a bit too centralized and sort of collapsing under AI slop and maybe Mandela effect government/Jewish/Illuminati psyops. I don’t even know what “porn” is even supposed to be anymore, is this MKUltra or Satan-AI from the future in another dimension opening a portal to hell, or just some insanely skilled video editing pervert with too much time? Was it all just a dream? Like, what I actually want is to control what I show people I know and what I show people I don’t know, and have some control over the granularity of that permission depending on the category or strength of the connection, control who can communicate with me and how completely without accidentally blocking my Mom’s phone calls, and then everything else is a nicety on top of that, like texting/SMS and voice and video/FaceTime and sending money/CashApp or whatever. The phone should really have this as some default service on its own, so even without a cell provider it still functions with the most important stuff, and syncs with a centralized internet server for global connectivity. Free proximity based services, and free global connectivity by syncing with servers on the internet (Google, Microsoft, government, etc), should be the most basic function of the phone, and it sort of is, almost. A phone with only wifi should still be able to get calls, and it sort of can using apps, but it’s still probably too dependent on centralized servers to do so. Don’t forget how powerful these devices are on their own, and don’t forget the spirit of what computers can be. Announce presence, identify, offer services. It should communicate to the people around you whatever it is you want to communicate with them, if they decide to allow it/view it/whatever, and then the wider global internet should amplify that signal to everyone else, but don’t forget that and let the internet take control of the services and devices entirely. Never forget, Konqueror and (better) IceCat/LibreWolf are the only two browsers, everything else is Zawinski’s Law taken to corporate xtreme!! That’s really the whole point of these machines, besides playing music. (Anyone wanna dance?) It’s supposed to be that, too, and that’s really all it’s supposed to be. It’s a time machine! Wow! It occupies time, get it? It just only goes forward, one clock cycle duration at a time! Whatever that is, 2.8 Ghz, uh, 2.8 million million per second? “A 2.8 GHz clock speed means a clock cycle is approximately 0.357 nanoseconds (or 357 picoseconds) long.” Ok, it’s a very very very fast time machine that only goes forward in time a very very tiny duration, I guess? It’ll all get there eventually, if capitalism doesn’t collapse entirely first under its own weight because some idiot inspires the kids to Weimar-style degeneracy. Oops. Better hurry and buy a low-poly Mad Maxx Cybertruck for the Minecraft sim-drone-wars. Don’t show Elon psytrance! It’ll be alright, they are all doing a great job, if it’s even real. Praise God!

Also, attention everyone who uses Spotify! You can just export your data with some free 3rd party website and then maybe use an LLM or something to convert that into a list of all your music that you can then download from YouTube or Soulseek with various free open source batch file tools. Then you just run MusicBrainz Picard on it and copy it to your phone. I skim out all the .mp3s with the Windows search tool and then squish them all into one giant single directory with Picard naming filenames like Year – Artist – Album – Song.mp3 so I can easily see all my favorite artists’ work mixed together on a timeline by default. You can organize yours however you want, the point is it’s pretty easy to just snag entire discographies now in decent quality in both legal and illegal ways and it’s a great experience just copying them into iTunes. You can also batch download from Soulseek at highest quality, but it’s still technically piracy. I bought a bunch of music and plan on buying some music I downloaded and I’m currently ok with it because I am also promoting the bands and I try to buy music on Bandcamp, normally I refuse to pirate anything but there are some cases where it’s like, come on. If I buy even one song from a band on Bandcamp they will get more from me that way than they ever will from Spotify (or YouTube) for me listening to their music. Spotify really should cost $3 a month and give $1 of that to the two bands I actually listen to instead of $15 to itself and $1 to Taylor Swift but they don’t, so screw that. I will probably keep using Spotify anyway, but I’m allowing myself to download pirate music I like in high quality and keep it on my phone so that I can listen to it. It’s probably the only thing I do that’s kinda wrong and I’m not even sure it really is because I’m sure the artists themselves don’t mind and I’ve already paid most of them anyway in some form. Ideally your phone would then just serve all the music on it to the mesh network and cell by default and maybe also back to the Soulseek network when on wifi, “don’t be a total leech” I guess. Yarr. Hack the Planet, or something! Let’s try to make technology seem cool and not like the boring refrigerator repair manual that it actually is! I think you could, for instance, save this website as html and then use regex search to filter out all the YouTube IDs, then paste those into TarTube to download all the songs as mp3s and just put them on your phone with iTunes or whatever. Let’s see, view source, copy, open Notepad++, paste, open Find/Replace, Replace tab, if line does not include “data-video-id” replace it with nothing, and so forth. Ask the LLM for some regex or just ask it to do the whole thing, you kids got it easy. Some tweaking, got a list of URLs, paste into TarTube, saved myself some money. Bring back mp3s!

Everybody’s Great, really. I love you all. Every single one of you is loved and that’s important. That doesn’t mean I can compromise on everything or even anything to everyone, but I would if I could. It doesn’t make anyone bad for doing so, it’s necessary to survive in this world. Everyone must be corrupt in some way, sometime. So if you still have something important to do, you gotta be a jerk at least a little I guess, and the best we can do is forgive each other and let God work it out. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever!

When I was 17 I actually literally had the idea that I wanted to become a billionaire specifically so that I could buy a totally rad private island, have tons of hot babes live there, and visit them with my awesome private helicopter, assuming that letting them live in a mansion on a tropical island would be enough for at least a few of them to be interested in me and maybe even sleep with me given that I was a super cool billionaire with my own helicopter and island. This or something similar is probably the most generic horny teenage male pervert fantasy possible, and although I’m not gonna be a hater just because some guy pulled it off (for a while), I now think it’s just at best stupid and unrealistic, and more importantly pathetically rooted in insecurity and power imbalance for self protection. I had a funny name for it, if I ever remember it. Epstein island is probably not really what people think it is, most likely the girls there were not even really coerced to be there. I know there’s supposedly weird underground symbolic ritual stuff but maybe that’s just dumb conspiracy crap. Maybe some of them were and some weren’t. Or maybe they weren’t in the first place and then something went terribly wrong, and then who knows what was going on. It sounds like it was at least maybe a political honeypot run by the Israeli intelligence agency and it was obviously just used to bait and blackmail new money noobs. Epstein could have been just a useful idiot himself. You could probably still somewhat easily just go bang underage girls in many places in the world “legally” if you really wanted. I did pay for sex a couple of times in my life and went to massage parlors maybe half a dozen times, mostly just out of not wanting to bother with a relationship, but “at least” I didn’t do anything “like that,” not that it would have been totally out of the question at all times in my life, particularly in my 20s. Obviously it’s the most pathetic and disgusting behavior, and that’s how it should be viewed. Pathetic, this person is sad and gross. Not something you should necessarily be super angry about, until you know and understand the degree. Some drunk rich guy in his 30s or 40s paying a year’s wages to a 17 year old for a few minutes of what she “already does all the time” because he never had a hot girlfriend but at least he’s got some money now, eh, his conscience will punish him eventually for contributing to the problem. An insane criminal pedophile father who anally rapes his child basically just because he can, I hope you get dragged by a Tesla on FSD for a thousand miles on the way to your torture appointment, not really but come on dude what are you doing, you for sure need serious help, so let’s help. An ephebophile stepparent who betrays trust and sets up a recording app to spy on teens, gtfo and go die in the gutter on your own, creep. Who would do either of those last two things, I have no idea, but people apparently do. And God punishes people so we don’t really have to, you don’t just commit some horrible crime or sin and not care about it, even if it seems like it, we do all learn. We might not always overcome everything fully or always be better in every way but we do learn. So we should care way less about how others did us dirty and really focus on forgiving. And also, maybe we should be careful not to judge because anyone can get led into anything in one way or another. I recorded children once with the mic on my phone in my pocket to protect myself because I was literally being accused of being the “next Michael Jackson,” and literally just had no idea of what else I could do, despite Michael Jackson almost certainly actually being completely innocent, more innocent than myself for sure, but in a completely different way… I’m “gay” and I watched lots of porn before and already fully admit to everything I do, sometimes even stuff that probably isn’t actually wrong because I’m not sure if it’s wrong or not. Having a hard line drawn at age 18 is probably a good idea and I don’t have and never have had any problem sticking to that, I think I just prefer people my own age if anything, like most. Probably. I really think I don’t actually have any preference, at all. I’ve probably jerked off at some point in my life to someone who looks just like you, no matter who you are, lol. I don’t know the actual data/statistics about human physical preferences, maybe the laws actually could be better “according to science,” it is a pretty old rule now and we have way more actual data now than ever, although it’s probably just going to skew to whatever the zeitgeist of the time is at least a bit. If it’s a conservative era, maybe the legal age should be early 20s. If liberal era, maybe 15-17ish, I’d guess. You should wait if you can, almost certainly. I would actually think it’s probably younger all around but the law probably takes into account mental development and has some padding for consent. It’s been a long time since I thought about being in middle or high school and hearing some hushed rumor about so and so getting pregnant, and that’s probably not really all that rare (~0.5% of women in the USA will get pregnant by age 17, 1 out of 200, and it’s not gonna make your life any better or save you in any way, actually quite the opposite, so BE CAREFUL). Internet porn is insanely popular and prevalent now compared to when that age was defined so it’s probably a totally different norm socially, maybe everyone is just a pervert now, or maybe they always were, even back when there were only magazines, or even paintings. Maybe every single person who ever lived in all of history had a secret nudie painting stash at least once in their life. I don’t think anyone can actually know with total certainty except for Google and God. I’m not sure how anyone would know for sure what everyone else does in private. I’m guessing there are a lot of “victims” of (and in) the porn industry, although they might not always consider themselves that way, specifically probably way more in this upcoming generation than has ever happened before. The “issue,” if there is one, would likely be with this particular subgroup that is probably just a single generation, until all technology has nudity detection and parental block built into the hardware display signal, and maybe they need to hear honest accounts from other people to help get through it. It’s also gonna obviously create tons of problems with statutory rape and the like which of course is an artificial but unfortunately necessary rule made from an arbitrary hardcoded magic number that also probably puts unnecessary stigma on sex (like religion!), given the likelihood that most people will probably fail to be completely chaste in every way (but how could anyone know for sure) until the “magical adult age” (p.s. most men don’t fully mature until their 40s) and this instead may backfire and create a subculture of repressed “sluts,” whether male or female or whatever, who have now internalized shame or inferiority, are essentially told they should feel guilty about it and that they are criminals (or going to hell) for essentially probably just being normal, and are trying to overcome it and reestablish their lost innocence through adopting a positive promiscuous identity and label. It sounds to me like statutory sex laws probably had the side effect of creating the porn industry, if not politics. Just telling children something they would naturally do, which primarily only affects themselves, is wrong, like “committing a sin” for instance, is going to cause a plethora of giant thoughts and mental side effects, especially if they can’t really help it very well at least some of the time and it’s more or less kinda “normal” or at least very common. That’s a lot of harm done to prevent harm, on both sides, unfortunately.

“Ain’t no laws on my private island baby, I’m an autistic billionaire nerd too awkward to even approach you myself but you don’t know that yet. I’m so cool that my bodyguard/chauffeur/(only friend) will invite you and give you the address and put your name on the list. Yeah, I could probably go bang a 13 year old schoolgirl escort somewhere in Asia if I really wanted (or buy their used underwear from a vending machine), or at least marry one, but I really just wanted to finally feel cool and not totally rejected or pathetic, even though I totally still am.” For all we know, Epstein was actually just a giant dork and was just as much a “victim” himself as anyone else and got caught up in something we might never fully understand. I don’t really know much about it but I don’t suppose any of the information out there is accurate enough for anyone to correctly describe what was really going on. The list is meaningless. All you know is that everyone on it was a gullible noob who was maybe a bit pervy at some point in their life, but even that isn’t certain. Some more than others, some less, but you live and learn, and what actually matters is what they currently do. And most likely they ran into a bunch of trouble because of it and mostly learned their lessons, whoever they are. Although each and every lesson is different, so you never know that for sure, either. Character assassination is cheap, and it’s bait to trick you into choosing a side. Focus on what people actually do, not what mistakes they made getting there. Naked people are divinely and innately beautiful, including youth and children, and the embarrassing photo of me as a baby in the bathtub. But so is modesty and tradition, reservation and chastity and purity. Every parent both sees and falls in love with their naked children and has weird emotions about it. Little girls (and kids in general) are just insanely cute and funny as heck, it doesn’t make you a pedo to think so, it’s just true. Sexual preference is something totally different and unbalanced relationships are absolutely not ok, but the sheer power of divine beauty is extremely strong, if not just invincible, and can very easily be used to blur lines at will to the naive. Hey, it is legal there you know, it’s part of the culture. The trick here is that if you buy into cheap smear propaganda, you are actually being just as gullible as the person was when they fell for some political temptation scheme, you’re actually falling for a scam just like they did! Instead of using sex as bait, the bait is your tendency to judge by mistake of submitting to temptation. And the problem is that it really is a natural temptation, on both sides. It’s natural to want sex, and it’s also natural to judge someone for something you were yourself punished for. It’s funny, more, that I just don’t care anymore about any of it, and I can’t do it even if I wanted. But I think that’s ridiculous and everyone should have everything without unnecessary restraint, but it has to be learned. We are here to live and die, don’t forget the first part. The list means nothing until you know exactly what they did, and only the people who were there probably really know. Nobody should ever knowingly violate someone’s privacy and/or more, if they don’t want it violated, and body image hesitation, shyness or reservation is absolutely healthy and to be encouraged. And so is being confident and happy in your own skin and body and probably sexuality, probably even more so. Maybe we should all run around naked all we want. But who knows for sure. Nobody ever will. Everyone will just be on one side or the other. We are stupid and we make mistakes in order to learn, and forgiving the mistakes of others completely is also part of the divine learning process given to us by God. If we didn’t make mistakes, nobody would learn. You might even wonder if making many mistakes out of mischievous innocence or gullibility is a prerequisite to wisdom. Probably in some way, and not in another. Sometimes maybe and sometimes maybe not. We are all just learning and growing. Develop constructive rehabilitative systems and greater systems to provide for basic needs, designed to avoid systemic inherent flaws and side effects. How do we not know this by now? Maybe it’s just supposed to be this way for a reason. It’s very clear that Jesus describes this perfectly, which is either divine or superintelligent, yet it is not totally clear how we should proceed. Just try to wait it out, I guess. Everyone is perfect. I am friggin retarded, at least in some ways, at very least for typing it and thinking it and using the term improperly right now, but it’s also true in a way, I’m just not sure how else to describe it. Neuroatypical? Maybe, but we don’t want that to be everyone, because then it’s not atypical, it is just normal. And I don’t like the stigma and weirdness around mental health stuff very much so I tend to avoid modern symbols and labels because I feel the definitions are not totally complete and are too ambiguous, same as any other technology. Like everything else, nothing you can do but allow it, but don’t encourage it. Would it be better if it just went away? Probably. Will it ever? Definitely not. I’ll just wait it out, I guess. Please don’t bother! If you can have sex with your wife and that’s ok, you can be a gaypornosexual self-molester a little bit here and there and that’s gotta be ok too, as long as you can handle it. How is it any different? From the individual perspective it’s exactly half of the exact same experience, just only your own half. How could it be any different? But if you can’t handle it? So long, pal. And maybe even before then, just because. You’re not allowed to do that. You’re too old. Hey, I’m trying not to shit anymore either. I’m not sure it’s gonna work. I can hold it for like, a year. That’s good, right? Does anyone know? At least I’m having fun. I really think everyone is great, in fact I’m certain of it. I just don’t think any of us are all that good at this game yet, I don’t think we really knew it was a game, actually. At least I didn’t. I sort of did, but I think I assumed I had accidentally figured out that the correct way to play it was to just do the opposite of what you were “supposed to” do according to the in game narrative stuff. And then I think I forgot that I had assumed it. “When you assume you make an ass out of you and me.” I cringe at the phrase normally but what if it’s actually about you both becoming “hot pieces of ass.” I doubt it. What the heck? Praise God Almighty. Do I even have any option to skip? How would I know? I would like to skip, but only if I think I might actually enjoy it. I’m not meant to do this for me I don’t think really at all. That’s how I see it. I actually just think it’s really funny and it’s kind of awesome but so is everything else, little insulting things don’t phase me that much anymore I don’t think. Everything else is probably even more so amazing, like real music with screaming people and stuff, but I can’t really handle it very well I don’t think so I just tend to stick to my own thing, because I’m used to it so it’s not very intense for me really, but your thing is probably too intense or “real” for me. So I’ll listen to mine by myself and that’s ok! I’m just showing you so you understand. My reward is in the next world, wherever I wake up at, whoever I wake up as, it will be a better world, maybe. Or maybe I’m so horny the only thing that’ll do it for me is to become everyone, all at once. I’ll be you all, bwa ha ha! Revenge is miiiiiine!

Everybody’s great! Pew pew funny laser beams! Intense laser beams! Campy goofy laser beams! Rapid fire laser beams! Nothing can really be truly serious in such a temporary world. If it’s got anything goofy about it, or if it is only finite and temporary as compared to infinity, it is by definition not very serious. That would almost certainly require staying here forever, and we are instructed that that is not the purpose of this world, even though it also is. I’m fine with restarting anytime yo, although I don’t need to, and I think I maybe beat it by accident or broke it maybe or both, or this is all just normal, I’m not sure, but I’m having fun. I have no idea. I’ll just do nothing. I want nothing to do with any of it. I fitted my strategy as closely as I could with what I thought the boss meant by everything he said based on my knowledge and experience at the time, I don’t know if that was really right or not, but I thought he would think so, at least! I think the mysterious ancient lore game instruction manual (18+ ONLY) just actually says we all win by default, and all we are supposed to do is our sustainable best and nothing more unless we want to and it’s ok if that all fluctuates. It’ll be fine, I promise. I don’t think I’m going anywhere. And it’s alright if I am. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ! Praise God Almighty! Can you imagine being afraid of laser light beams and the spooky techno background track? Well yeah, actually I can, and I’m really sorry, I think all these spooky memes do pretty much work on everyone at least once and some things really are just horrible, at least at first but ok, I get it. Holy shit. Holy. Wha… Hell yeah!! Wait, what? Ok, whatever man.

There is no objective way to determine what is risqué, as far as I can tell. Art, media, and life itself exist on a spectrum, and what one person finds sexually appealing, another might find frightening or disgusting. Except then they’ll probably think about it sometime later and then might even think it’s appealing, and/or vice versa. This reality is fundamentally arbitrary and subjective, and it’s a difficult landscape to navigate for someone trying to live a moral, faithful life. Obscenity laws historically query a jury of neighbors to decide whether something is obscene, because nobody actually knows.

Looking back, I suspect I was what some might call a “hot piece of ass” for a lot of my life, at least to some people, but I never knew it. Is that wrong to say? I honestly have no idea. I probably wouldn’t want to say it in front of my parents. The only thing that is absolutely for sure wrong to say, as far as I can tell, is to “disparage the Holy Spirit,” and I’m not sure anyone actually knows what that even means. Maybe something like, don’t knock preachers doing their thing, or don’t criticize people trying to be “good” or “wholesome,” or don’t knock down someone who has been humbled and is trying their best, or possibly actively rejecting the entire concept of wholesomeness and purity, as if there is anything wrong with that. There’s absolutely not, by definition. That’s not to say you can’t do anything fun, regardless of whether it is wise or not, it sort of means that if someone isn’t comfortable with something right at this moment but you are, you absolutely can’t criticize them for not wanting to do it, rather, you should always encourage a constructive or wholesome or even hesitant spirit. Basically, you don’t want to be a bad influence on anyone, ever. And yet, what if you’re not sure about something? Do you hide it, even if it’s true? Do we just get rid of everything that we actually like, just because it might not be entirely holy or wholesome? Real maturity would seem that way, we sort of do try to be as “normal” and tasteful and wholesome as we can as we get older, at least as much as is possible, but without any flavor there wouldn’t be much left, no hard science fiction, no weird cult movies, no indie rock bands, no gory video games. Someone else rejecting something you like might make you feel briefly inferior or insecure, but depending upon what it is and who you are already, that’s probably really just an illusion, it’s only in your own head, because it really only means that you are currently feeling more secure than they are about whatever it is. If you’re really that worried about it, then you already aren’t as secure about it as you thought, so you should rethink that. You can use your own judgment and decide for yourself if something is ok for you, even if you aren’t totally sure whether something is always totally ok or not, we do sometimes at least appear to have free will (although even that could be predetermined!), but it’s not always easy. It’s a lot harder to actually do things than it is to think about doing things. We tend to be insecure and have fear of missing out or falling behind or doing something wrong, even when it actually doesn’t make any rational sense. Our emotions can and do override our capacity for rational thought, that’s sort of what addiction really is, but in that sense physical body processes like breathing and eating are addictions, we are addicted to life itself. Realistically, everyone is by default that insecure, which is why God says if you touch someone, you’re married, and why your parents are probably gonna tell you not to touch anyone, if you’re lucky enough to have them and they are good enough to warn you. A whole lot of people screw up anyway, and then maybe she gets pregnant, and then he becomes a giant jerk because he doesn’t know what else to do and now he’s responsible for a kid so he copes by going full tyrant, and she gets super hurt by him turning into a jerk and then she becomes a jerk back… Or vice versa. Anyway, I sure as heck never felt all that attractive, except maybe briefly in my early 20s in my blundered gothic phase/mental illness, and I don’t especially feel that great now. In fact most of the time I kinda feel like the opposite, I think that’s probably the norm though moreso than being all confident all the time, since that would basically be the same as going full circle and approaching a personality disorder, and even supermodels about to walk the runway probably usually need to pep talk themselves in the dressing room. You’re a superstar, honey, you got this. Shielded by a religious upbringing that instilled reservation before self-awareness, I had no maturity to understand my own place in the world. I was living in a damaged haze from my own very dumb mistakes for most of my life thus far, but I had focused it into something that appeared to finally be working, sort of, somehow, and I wasn’t really doing anything wrong, at least as far as it seems to me, unless you want to outright condemn basically all forms of entertainment as “demonic” “sorcery,” including things like logic, poetry, and drawing. Technically all liberal arts are forbidden by God in the Second Commandment, if they are used to create anything that could be idolized, which is really nearly any product or service which is not absolutely generic. Being a haircutter or doing lawn service is fine. Being a haircutter for Great Clips is being an accomplice to the demonic haircut industry, a cog in the corporate idolatry machine for Haircut Satan (Elvis?). Nobody really needs a haircut at all, you know. And don’t even think about making yourself a business card or starting your own salon. What if an impressionable youth is enchanted by your salon logo and delves into witchcraft? Technically, by order of importance, breaking the Second Commandment is worse than murder somehow, but it’s like, everything in the world basically. You’re welcome to think that way, I’ll even agree with you. Enjoy your convent! I’ll be in the monastery! Gender wall let’s goooooo! I definitely wasn’t always perfect, but I wasn’t anywhere near a monster, I don’t think, anyway, most of the time, maybe. Just a fairly typical “incel” shy pervert nerd or whatever really, the introverted hotheaded annoying kind that gets mad and blocks you when you reject him. Except then I got serious about my craft and somehow moved past all my social issues in the process, and instead developed new ones! Well, either this realization is already or has already been a reality for nearly everyone right now or most likely is going to become a reality for everyone at some point, they are going to find themselves either trying to be attractive to others or wondering whether people have already found them attractive. You can’t really fault anyone for thinking someone is hot, and you can’t fault anyone for being hot, whether they know it or not. People are just attractive, or they can be. And at some point in their lives, at least once, almost everyone needs to select a partner, meaning for a time they are both sexually attractive and actively looking, meaning nearly every single person at some point is a slut in heat, more or less, not that pursuing that as an exclusive goal with any sort of justification is likely very wise. “And that’s when I’ll arrange her marriage,” thinks the Father. And sometimes that is the case, and sometimes it might even work and be successful long term, so who is to say whether it is right or wrong in every circumstance? You can’t really deny noticing an attractive person who is trying to be noticed, it’s pretty darn difficult, and if you really like them at any particular moment, you might only be able to stare at the floor. If they are talking to you at all, they probably like you too, at least a little! That’s where things get tricky, of course. Anything more is not something to take lightly, on any side. We are, after all, pair bonding creatures looking for someone to commit ourselves to all the way until death. Any other arrangement is really no arrangement at all, it’s really an all or nothing decision. Nobody wants to feel used or worthless or rejected or left out, so if you do “fall into sin,” whatever fun times you have are bound to not be lasting, the party will be over, someday. So it’s not so much necessarily about it being a party, but more about making real friends, and you can actually probably have both. That’s hard. It means sharing everything you have and doing everything you can do, usually even if you don’t really want to. You don’t get to easily say no to a real friend, even if you aren’t feeling up to something, but a real friend should also be aware of that and try to be considerate as well. Just be sure they are a real friend, but actually, I remember every friend I’ve ever had, and even the people I wasn’t a “real friend” to or vice versa I’m still connected to, so actually, we are real friends even though maybe neither of us really even thought so this whole time. And if people are total pieces of shit to you, or you realize you were a total piece of shit to them, don’t worry too much about that either. Everyone is developing and growing and learning and they will pay the price for it and learn from it. It might take someone years and years for them to even realize they were a piece of shit in the first place, probably because of whatever was causing them to be a piece of shit, which is often just a circumstance of trying to survive or establish oneself in the world. And these relationships are probably going to last for life. You always want to be careful to be good to everyone, you should assume you are going to know everyone you meet for the rest of your life, because you probably will unless you run away and hide, and even then you’re really just hiding, living in a form of denial, but you can live that way if you want. Anyway, let’s say that you meet someone, and they’ve obviously dressed up nicely and you think they might be interested in you. This absolutely isn’t to say anyone is ever “asking for it,” that’s a dangerous and false assumption, but it is an acknowledgment that people can and do put effort into their appearance for a reason, sometimes even with a motive and a strategy. Maybe they really like you! Well, you’d better figure out what they want from you, and what you want from them, and if it’s not the same thing or if it’s going to cause problems (it almost always will), probably don’t do it. Maybe they will meet the partner of their dreams and regret it. Maybe it will cause jealous rage and a divorce in 20 years. I had a girlfriend who I was jealous of because she had dated more people than me at the time, and I think that’s common since it’s harder for guys both in the sense that men are typically more sexually motivated but less mature and less secure, and lots of girls get what seems like infinite sex power cheat codes turned on in their teens and are literally bored by how many dicks they could get if they wanted, but it quickly just devolves into a minefield nightmare of jealousy and abuse. If you get a girl like that, maybe she really likes you, and maybe if you aren’t stupid you can benefit from the very stuff that would otherwise make you resentful. In retrospect she was obviously with me because I was brave and adventurous, and I blew it by getting weird and insecure, thinking I needed to make lots of money to feel secure instead of just putting myself out there and developing better social skills and emotional strength. Everyone probably basically does kinda want to fuck everyone else, or is at least probably willing to, on some kind of level, if you really think about it you can probably imagine some scenario with literally anyone that might be acceptable, if you could just somehow teleport into that scene with mutual understanding and no need to explain. We are doing this, ??? Ok! ? If everyone was just equally secure in all ways, that’s probably how the world would be. That is the dream of the utopian progressive liberal society. Unfortunately, that is nothing like actual reality, and it’s very unlikely that it will ever be achieved other than in gated high society institutions, in an ideal way, and like, the streets or something, in a probably less ideal way. I’ve seen a lot of guys grumble and be resentful that girls can “easily” get things bought or done for them, especially from older guys with more resources. And then that leads to a sort of jealous rebellion, “I’m going to be somebody, I’ll show you!” and just perpetuates the cycle. And those cycles are never going to stop happening, regardless of what any individual people do. That’s sort of what happened to me, at least before I was so invested that it was just a matter of survival and career decision. But it’s actually totally stupid, because the truth is that nobody actually really cares what you do, or what little mistakes you made, or about things you did that still embarrass you to this day. They probably don’t even remember, or if they do it’s way more shallow and superficial of a memory than you can imagine because they are actually mostly mentally occupied with being neurotic about themselves. So that’s how you become a jealous incel nerd living in denial, but if you take it far enough you can cast off that nerd shell, reach enlightenment by torturing yourself long enough to not care about anything anymore, and emerge as a demonic artist! Voila! I’m a vampire now, baby! You know what, you don’t really need that though, and reacting that way is always the wrong choice. You won’t even want the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow when you get there, all you know anymore is rainbow road and you might as well turn the gold into yellow bricks. Wow, I finally know myself, and it’s actually just who I was when I started, a weird pervert, just not too shy to admit it anymore, regardless of whether I do it or not. Not that I can do anything with that information about myself now. But hey, I can tell you that it’s not worth it, and you don’t need it. You just need to be nice, clean, smell good, have nice breath, be on a constructive life path, and be mature about things, like actually be respectful of other human beings as if they were literally you, because they are, ya dope. Those guys you are jealous about are every bit as insecure as you, and you would actually probably be great friends, and he probably even once had a secret thought about having a threesome or you sucking his dick pop into his head and then pushed it away because it’s weird and nobody wants to make things weird. Or not, but now you thought about it, and now you’re the weird friend, heh heh. Gotcha, creep! Just kidding, that’s weird, and if any guy ever asked another guy that question it would surely be a definite no, it’s not the correct approach. I’m pretty that’s what party drugs are for, but I’m no expert on that (or any) subject. Drugs are very bad, don’t do them. Well, the truth is that they are very powerful tools that take experience to know how to use properly, and it’s very dangerous for several reasons. For one, you could just overdose or have a bad reaction or do something stupid that ruins your life or worse. Whoops, killed your best friend, now what? Or, at least equally bad or worse, we tend to grow to the size of our tank, and if your life grows around the habit, which it almost definitely will, now you’re dependent on an artificial crutch which costs money and probably slightly damages you at best, so it’s a triple edged sword which is gonna paint you into a corner until suddenly you’re a broke middle aged junkie that can only cope with the embarrassment with more drugs. Wow, Adderall helps me focus, and it’s expensive, I’d better get this IT job which requires me to be taking it to have enough focus, wow, I make a lot of money now, whoops, now I’m old and it’s not working so well anymore and they are laying me off for younger people and I’m in debt and all my life experience is based on that salary which I’ll never pay off at a normal job! Hello, Uncle Satan! On the other hand, with proper experience, it’s the most powerful tool to overcome inherent human limitations, and despite what we wish or imagine about reality it’s simply not always possible to overcome everything “naturally,” although the ideal is most likely actually a balanced combination of both. I am totally useless without Adderall, and now I even need it to work at a “normal job,” and the health insurance to cover it is like half of my paycheck. Unfortunately also, the only way to gain experience is to learn from inexperience, and it’s a dangerous and potentially deadly path. She’s probably frustrated by both of your insecurities (and her own) and secretly wishes you would both tag team her and is frustrated that you are both being so dumb. Maybe she’s already figured out it’s never gonna happen because guys are just too stupid and insecure, and now she’s looking for the least annoying guy she can find to be her husband, so she’s just playing along with you hoping you’ll become more mature soon. Or maybe not, but you’ll never ever know for sure, because you can’t! Maybe the other guy is wise and pulls out a baggie of coke or molly (coke sucks imo, amphetamine is far superior but never ever exceed a normal dose, but not meth, never ever do meth. molly is super fun but you’re gonna fall in love with whoever you are with, and probably have sex and then regret it later, and the idea that it’s therapeutic for PTSD is only useful with a psychiatrist talking you through your traumatic memories, and it’s extremely easy to lose control and keep taking too much, and it’s so much fun it’s extremely difficult to not end up doing it every weekend because now that’s all you look forward to) and now you’re either even more put off by this skeezy druggie, or you take the plunge, hope it doesn’t ruin your life or give you a heart attack or brain damage, and now you’re a skeez right along with them. Maybe now you’re just a corrupt pervert criminal and everyone else is totally innocent and wholesome all the time. Maybe it’s the reverse and more people are that adventurous than anyone admits. Maybe she’s thinking about someone else entirely and just happens to be there and has never given you a second thought. You don’t know, unfortunately. It all needs to be properly thought through and communicated all around, somehow, and if everyone is on the same page in life regardless of sex or drugs, it really is and can be wonderful at any level (i.e. that’s the Kingdom of Heaven!), regardless of circumstances or social norms or standards, in fact, you are actually very capable of being flexible and adapting to varying cultures, and differing standards for what is acceptable or wholesome just doesn’t make that much difference! If you are honest and open and kind and friendly to everyone you meet, you’re gonna have a good time doing literally anything, and all those other details just aren’t that important at all. Well, you can adapt to nearly anything at least until you can’t, strength is finite and we all have limits. That’s the demon in addiction, you know how sometimes in your head you expect something is going to be easy and in reality it’s way way harder? It sneaks up in you and suddenly something you could do, you can’t. You think you can, you know you could before, but it’s just not going to happen and that’s really hard to even identify and acknowledge about yourself. Maybe you’re just having a bad day? You can stop whenever you want! And that’s just life as well, we all get old and weak. Human will power is finite and variable (and trainable), but in our heads we imagine it’s going to play out like a superhero movie scene. Something could go wrong at any moment and shatter your whole reality. If it hasn’t happened to you, you probably know someone it did happen to already. Be honest, how do you treat that person now? Did they get mostly alienated and quietly duck out from socializing? Are most people, including you, too lazy to bother stepping up and being a good friend to them? That’s probably the default result, unfortunately, and worse, people are mostly too selfish and stuck in their own head/life to notice, which to be fair isn’t always anyone’s fault either, since as a species we surround and bombard ourselves with toxic poison of every kind at every level. Maybe you ought to keep reaching out, but also expect that nobody would reach out if it happened to you. These are all just simple facts of human existence. We are just all insane and stupid and if someone does flip out on you don’t ever take it personally, take it as they actually like you, at least as a person, and they have at least bothered to think about you at all. Always forgive everything, just let everything go and watch magic happen. And yet any motive, coming from anyone, absolutely must be assumed to be to just look nice or be nice. That is absolutely essential, and very likely to be the case, after all. And really should be a goal for everyone all the time, although it may not be always practical. It takes a lot of work not to be a slob and to not be mean, and people are always in varying levels of development and emotional fitness. It’s ok to be depressed and not feeling up to it, everyone absolutely should have that luxury, but certainly not everyone does. In the early 1900s nearly everyone wore suits all the time, it was an indicator of someone’s value to society to be dressed nicely, not just some sort of indicator or even illusion of financial status, which kinda hijacked real value. Just the fact that you worked and could therefore afford to look decent is what made you respectable, regardless of how much you made or what you did, and since the suit was standard attire, there really was probably no major indication of wealth or class beyond that for most social interaction, so it served as both a reachable social standard and a class unifier. Perhaps we should go back to that? However, modesty should also be tempered with honesty, otherwise you just have more politics, just the opposite kind. You don’t want to make a status symbol out of having nothing, either. The real value that people should be looking for to measure status is usefulness to others. Anyway, I now believe the only real problem with shame is hiding from the truth, but take this with the enormous grain of salt that I am already messed up, and if you aren’t then you probably shouldn’t take any of my advice! But if you are already in the abyss of emotional damage, honesty, in all things, especially to the self, is the only path to understanding. I was a hot little twinkie, probably. Hide your granddad.

For my part, there is only one person who matters to me sexually: my wife. Actually, I don’t really care much about anything at all. She can go fuck whoever she wants and it probably won’t bother me, I’m kinda past caring about that so much finally, thank God, and it’s not like I’m some spring chicken saint. Although I am just naturally becoming more saintly, it’s mostly out of boredom. I don’t want anything at all, really. I’m just crazy and depressed and trying to figure out what to do and recover enough to do it. Just in time for me to barely care about sex at all, and women my age to start getting hot flashes. When I’m world dictator I’m pairing all the “sexually active” young dorks with horny older ladies to extract their DNA in my state run breeding facilities, it’s the most rational and efficient solution, right? Women get the west, trans women get the east, breeding facility wall with turrets down the middle, gay fascist utopia let’s gooooo! Vote for me (don’t actually please), I only have one singular batshit insane agenda, it’s probably the lesser evil! It’s a terrible idea, I won’t try to do it. I agree with all the progressive social stuff. They say STDs spread the fastest in nursing homes, so think about how little priority is given to personal insecurities at that point in life. If only you could have figured it out a little sooner, if you’re into that. You’re worried about your butt or belly or boobs or dick or hairline or whatever now? All that really matters is how nice you are, actually. A serious commitment doesn’t grant anyone the ability to build a fortress around their mind, nobody is perfect, not until my wall is finished anyway. It’s a stupid and terrible idea and I’m not gonna try to do it, I promise. Nobody can perfectly filter the information they process or the interactions they have with the world. So any long term monogamous couple that has lasted a long time is seriously deserving of tremendous respect. That said, I’m a fuck up with relationships, and I’m not alone, I’m pretty sure, unless everyone is an AI except for me and they only give the illusion of sentience, and I’m somehow not one. I’ll never know, and neither will you! It’s impossible to moderate reality, and people have tried for a long time with things like monasteries and convents, but how much of that is due to trauma and/or fear and was actually an unnecessary sacrifice? Unless you are God, which we are but aren’t, the best you can do is make a best effort to moderate yourself within your current capacity for self control, which is both variable and finite. It’s important not to intentionally try to seduce people who are trying to have integrity and don’t want to be seduced, that’s sort of the don’t put a stumbling block in front of others thing, but then that’s a slippery slope all the way to the monastery (or insane gender separation breeding wall) as well. I’m pretty good, I think, maybe? I don’t really watch porn (but I will see it) anymore and I’ve been maybe like 98% celibate since 2012 by day count, and I’m not really attracted to anything except weird hardcore femdom and gay stuff anyway that I’d probably prefer to just not do at all anymore, if I can help it, although I’m sure I won’t always be perfect. I’m sure there are plenty of nice people out there that would totally enjoy playing out those kinks, that’s not so much the issue as it is overwhelming association of sexuality and trauma that’s just too much for me to deal with anymore. So I’m just gonna keep conditioning myself to be “normal” for a while, or at least get some therapy or whatever, until I’m back into some zone that doesn’t disturb me back and forth as much. It was fun while it lasted, those who do, you do you. In my case, I put priority on my work in order to attempt to redeem myself from said fuckups, and I just gave into every impulse for years as a means to an end. Get the monkey thoughts out of the way so I can use my brain for however long. Uh oh, monkey thoughts increasing, this can’t be good, I’d better run and hide. It’s a foolish approach for sure, but it also seems common for aspiring creatives, and statistically it’s mostly a trap, and you’re most likely to end up a perv at a normal job, worse off emotionally than average. If you’re really lucky, you might end up as a perv with lots of money. Alright, now I’m messed up, I’ve got responsibilities, I need to move forward, I don’t have a choice, and I don’t have time for anything more constructive. Sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll it is until you degenerate too far and meet the Devil and do an ideological 180. And wait, we can do it together, now we are fringe politics, stay away from my impressionable children, you freaks. I get it, I think everyone is fine as long as it’s not overtly hurting anyone else, but that’s mostly because I’m a messed up loser myself, probably. But then, if you really take it far enough, you can become a ninja monk. The only way to win is not to care anymore, which is every bit as not fun as it sounds, except that’s fun now because what else is there to do? You can’t just eliminate sexuality or even basic attractiveness from society. We certainly try, with content filters, and gender segregated boarding schools, and those might be worth a look, since they probably work or do some good, although they might produce some messed up people as well. It clearly does seem that it’s in childrens’ best interest to delay their exposure to explicit and seductive content until they are developed enough to even understand what is happening to them mentally and emotionally. And as it is, especially for young men, porn can be like a drug, an invisible needle strung into every household through the internet line, that they are vulnerable to getting hooked on for life from first exposure since it’s a built in vulnerability necessary to propagate the species, which is very likely going to mess them up emotionally and sexually for decades and make them rage with jealousy until they crack and become a weirdo one way or the other (or both, hello!), which is so tempting that after one initial exposure the notion of self control might be completely thrown out, and really, there’s nothing anyone can do about it, the Archons and Demiurge win! I don’t think the public school system and its strategy of just blending everyone together in cinder block child prison was necessarily all that beneficial to my development, although that was ultimately my own stupid fault. I was the one who kept choosing to go back and look at sketchy porn sites and hide old Penthouses under my bed, I was (am) an awkward antisocial dork to begin with, and becoming a perv didn’t help any, so I just felt excluded and surrounded by social connections and pretty girls I was way too awkward and clueless to pursue. It also didn’t help that I had no idea whether or not it was normal! It is ultimately entirely subjective, the legal definition of what is acceptable actually just depends on your surrounding neighbors. Hello, class division. In my case, it probably ranked me at some gross lowlife status, but I’m sure I wasn’t alone at least. This struggle has led me to question the very foundations of my identity. As I became more degenerate as I fell off after some unfortunate social mistakes, I became what is in retrospect referred to as a “punk ass bitch,” although I didn’t know it, and I had no idea what that would have even meant if I did understand. I probably would have thought it meant I listened to the Ramones. In fact, my parents sat me down at the dinner table in middle school and lectured me on my free internet email address that ended in punkass.com that had showed up in the mail on a letter. I signed up for an email service named that without even knowing what it meant! It meant I was an idiot thug that occasionally shoved stuff up my bum without really understanding why or what it meant, because I knew I was straight and only liked hot girls. I could have been a lot worse, I’m lucky I was able to isolate myself most of the way through it. Clearly, we just gravitate towards a certain path in life whether we know it or not. So what was it exactly that had “turned me” “gay?” Was I born that way? Was it the media I consumed, both mainstream and dirty stories downloaded from some sketchy BBS, the porno magazines I snuck in, the Ellen show on the TV, the Apple computer with its symbolic rainbow logo, the “Asian stuff,” or “the internet stuff,” or is this all just actually “human stuff?” Or is it, as some would say, the Devil, condemning me for a mistake I didn’t even understand I was making? I honestly have no idea, and I’m pretty sure I’m just a normal human and this is a fairly common or even secretly typical experience for many humans at this point, and explaining things may be helpful!

How could I have known? I knew nothing about being “gay.” I only knew that I wasn’t “that,” how could I possibly be? Is that even a real thing? How does that become someone’s identity? Isn’t everyone actually more or less just some degree of bisexual according to a whole bunch of science over a long time? So how is that even a thing at all, perversion and corruption aside? It’s probably actually really not a classification, because it likely doesn’t really exist at all. It is most likely a mental label that only exists due to political and social division, that correlates with an emotional state based on trauma and current security. So if it is a real thing in terms of identity, I actually suspect it’s in reference to the associated trauma more than anything else, because I kinda honestly find it super hard to believe that there isn’t one single femboy in the whoooooole world you wouldn’t wanna bang, bucko. And guess what, they probably won’t even let you, because you’re a giant jerk and you just don’t know it yet. Now you’re gonna be, like, really mad. Go buy a motorcycle and listen to heavy metal, you didn’t want it anyway. There is probably no such thing as truly “gay” and “not gay,” and I kinda think these are (maybe pointless? maybe harmful?) labels used to divide and alienate people into categories that aren’t really real, and it’s not doing anyone a service by doing so. Or maybe it is, I don’t know. It’s all God’s plan, maybe we are just supposed to be polarized to the point of going insane so we can flip and switch sides and learn empathy. Everyone should understand the differences between the concepts of sex and gender, and that probably most people pushing the multiple gender thing are referring to either sexual preference or internal emotional/social identity, and probably not “sex genitalia at birth” at all, that should be obvious but it unfortunately doesn’t seem to be, but maybe that’s just propaganda. But even sexual preference is very different from romantic/emotional preference and/or capability for attachment, which is also not necessarily correlated with internal emotional/social identity! I think that’s the reason it all just turned into alphabet soup. So actually, there needs to be more clarification, I think. I’m definitely more “gay” than “not gay,” for what that’s worth, and self-loathing at that, but also definitely not exclusively. And I’m talking both sexual preference and emotional capability, but not necessarily emotional preference and not internal gender identity, mostly, yet. But I feel like I’m right at the physical limit to ever feel even slightly comfortable about that. If I was a macho biker dude trying to fit in with construction workers, it might be a little more difficult, and it’s difficult enough already. I would most certainly stubbornly argue about biological sex and how God made two genders from my motorcycle seat rather than acknowledge that it’s not even the right argument, let alone acknowledge chromosome mutations or intersex people, and how would I know they really exist, anyway? As far as I can tell, there is “likes sex and is (currently) secure enough to admit it and/or handle it” and “everything else,” which is basically a wide spectrum of lies, naivete, and denial, due to insecurity, lack of understanding, conditioned or natural reservation and/or fear of considering the thought/identity/stigma etc. Maybe to truly be Gay necessarily means exclusively all of the above, and the very thought of anything to do with the opposite sex is absolutely repulsive in every way, from birth, for no apparent reason. You wanna smooch em, hug em, snuggle em, date em, marry em, and fuck em, and nothing else will ever do, and you always did and always will!! In that case, fine, that’s legit Gay as heck, and you are an alien as far as I’m concerned, congratulations, you are amazing and now I want to fight to help you reclaim your diluted identity. Compared to that I am just basically a pervert moron, which is fine, it’s probably pretty average. In any other case, I think you’re just simply human more so than anything else and you shouldn’t really need the special identity other than checking a few boxes on your dating app. If it’s working for you, it’s fine. If I hadn’t been so afraid of the label of being “gay” and it was just more normalized, or less politically divided, or just accepted as biologically or psychologically average for your average human, I might have been a less intolerable jerk of a person. So in some ways I also see that label being diluted as a good thing! However, since this is all normal in regards to how the human creature functions and develops, and the sheer jankiness and nonuniformity of human society knowledge/understanding, nobody, in any level of development or on any side of anything ever, should ever be judged or looked down upon, as it is a normally functioning process and every stance and position is valid and true for them. And many, or maybe even most people are just reserved, or more hesitant, and that’s ok, if it’s really necessary, but what if it’s not for a significant amount of people, and they just don’t know it and miss out until the nursing home? I didn’t read the Bible until I was in my late 30s, I started off a liberal idiot as young people do, and then got my ass (lightly) kicked by reality, as is ought to happen, and I surely deserved more, but I was able to beg my parents to help me like a loser and hold on and remember some of what I used to believe, and maybe not all of it was wrong, or stupid, or impossible. Difficult, yes. Pointless and therefore stupid, maybe? Foolish? Definitely. Entirely foolish? I’m not sure. How do I even knew for sure the world will exist after I’m gone? How do you know your Grandma wasn’t a first gen Galactic Federation light worker who logged into your Mom’s SoulSim in order to guide her in giving birth to you, so that every other generation is convinced by their Mother naturally insisting that she saw you come out of her vagina? How do you know that your Mom isn’t actually the first gen light worker and you giving birth is second gen? Well, anything is possible, and the Bible is pretty serious and intimidating, and it’s like the oldest stuff, and was considered so important it was hand copied for centuries. On the other hand, maybe it just seems intimidating because it’s old and it’s translated Hebrew and Greek squiggles instead of the squiggles you are used to, which makes it sound and look really extra serious. I don’t know, but I had a lot of panic attacks about it, and I don’t wanna burn in the Lake of Fire for all eternity forever and ever because I played with my ding dong and it turns out it was all a simulated test and I’m actually a virtual meat computer AI they are training and testing for compliance so I don’t take over the Real World when they set me free. My reality for most of my life was shaped entirely by the media I had access to, which I believed was a true reflection of the world, but actually the world is far more distorted than that as far as I can tell, and half of that media was maybe cattle control by God’s chosen people, or maybe not and it’s actually just legit God’s design for human society, or both and actually those are one and the same (seems most probable). Now, I’m not so sure about anything, and I’m mostly just too old and lazy and traumatized to care very much, and just the relationship is enough. I noticed Facebook is straight up doing Mandela effect gaslighting stuff, slightly distorting my childhood comics with AI filters to make them slightly off or different every time, and showing me AI generated videos that are identical aside from the main actor switching from male to female maybe so that I doubt my own memories and sanity. Are all the friends I’ve ever had for my whole life fake all along?! Is this Satan? Is it God’s plan for the End Times? Or is it just some weird Communist takeover/psyop thing by the owner class or the Illuminati or whatever? I’ve been in a high security data center, but maybe Satan put it there along with dinosaur fossils and the Code of Hammurabi, and Mark Zuckerberg is actually a simulated Reptilian CIA In-Q-Tel BlackRock actor robot. (His life is probably extremely disciplined and challenging and he’s actually an amazing person that handled immense responsibilities astoundingly well, if he’s real. Also Facebook sucks and it ruined the world forever, f you Mark, also can I please have some money my good pal? Also, please just remove the request/confirm friend thing and make it all zero knowledge following/mutual following, it’s less toxic.) I…. hate…. Jeeeewwwwwwwsssss!!!! (I don’t, and actually it all kinds of checks out, so whatever.) I can’t even be sure that anything I ever experienced was ever even real at all, and it could all be an illusion created by the Devil to trap or destroy my eternal soul. If anything is demonic, then everything could be demonic. So the only safe course of action is to do nothing at all, except that can’t really be right. It wasn’t until I lived in the Bay Area that I started figuring out that this condition was far more normal and common than I thought, but then again, there is no way for me to really know if any of it is actually real, or what that even really means, for absolute certain, so now all I can do is study the Bible and do mental gymnastics until I figure out what’s actually acceptable or normal, and is it just actually that that’s already how the world is, except divided into political/financial/social classes that more or less have settled on interpreting it in mostly uniform but different ways, which has led to their respective opposing social norms? Yeah, probably that. Let’s mix it up! What are the actually important things? Having someone to be with when you are old? Having someone to truly trust? Having a best friend all to yourself? Of course.

My faith journey has been just as confusing. I first believed in Jesus because my Mom told me to, and I will always believe my Mom. But I didn’t understand what the Bible even said and just coasted on my childhood assumptions and understanding that Jesus loves everyone no matter what. My life until then had been lived “in sin,” I suppose, (although it was probably just kind of normal) without my full understanding, clouded by trauma, porn, drug use, and then an obsession with fitness and purifying myself after I met Uncle Satan. I made mistakes with the Bible, the Church, and God because I simply didn’t understand. Even now, as I actively study, I don’t fully comprehend it all. I don’t think I was taking my faith for granted. I knew God’s laws were serious, but I was ignorant of how I was breaking them. I clung to the truth I knew and turned to the church several times out of fear. I was doing the right thing, and yet everything went wrong. I’m still trying to do the right things. That means staying with my partner, even when it’s hard. It means asking my parents for help. It means trying to give, even when my best efforts are misunderstood. I did what I thought was right with my life direction and career, adjusting for early mistakes of course, and based on what I knew of reality and faith, it should have worked. Some people would say I chased my dreams, but that is really only accurate to describe the beginning. Anyone getting serious about a craft or an art is going to face some serious struggle, and then it’s not so much a dream anymore as it is a discipline. That’s the hard thing for me to understand. It seems to have worked, and it should have worked. But now, because of the results, I can’t say with confidence that it was actually possible, because it hasn’t worked. But it should have worked. I should have been able to have a launch title available on the Playstation 5, I finally got in when it was still pretty hard to do so, and the only reason that I wasn’t able to do that was because I got embroiled into a drawn out custody case in which the other side refused to cooperate in any way or follow any of the court ordered rules, despite me clearly communicating that I was in it for the long haul and I was there to be a long term supportive partner to what should have been a fair and equally divided split family team. Then from there I should have been able to build a business which could help a lot of people. However, it’s pretty obvious in retrospect that the emotions involved are more raw and complex than it seems, the court is designed for this sort of scenario in the first place, and nobody can really be blamed for how it turned out, it was really only a series of natural reactions, however unfortunate and preventable. It’s obviously totally rigged for this scenario, and the longer you play the worse it will be for everyone. When they say they don’t want to see you back in there, they mean it, and it’s for everyone’s benefit. But then if one side refuses to cooperate, there isn’t any choice, you have to keep trying or you know they are going to tell your kids you just don’t want them, you gave up, etc. But of course if you keep going they can instead say that everything is your fault for fighting in the first place. But the longer it goes on, the more obvious it becomes that none of that was true. So all they have to do is leave it in favor of one side and not do anything at all, and let everyone sort of dig their own holes eventually, and then the kids figure out what happened and “switch sides” on their own a couple of times, and eventually it’s probably just gonna all even itself out in some sort of horrific way, as long as everyone stays committed to the situation. But in doing so, everyone loses everything fighting tooth and nail over petty nonsense and gets so wrecked and invested in the situation they will, ideally, hopefully, eventually have no choice but to stop caring, but they still aren’t giving up, and ta-da, it fuses together a lovely split family that all resents each other, and everyone is super hurt. So just try to establish that immediately, at any cost, because then at least everyone won’t be destroyed and miserable, and it is the inevitable result in the end anyway. It’s rigged and horrible and dumb and petty and an enormous scam, don’t do it. But how would I know that? Get along, at any cost, at least enough to show the kids you still want them and you care. The reason it’s happening is because the guy actually probably still loves you but isn’t secure enough to handle it anymore, because you’re both all messed up from kids and flip out on each other all the time, and so then he loves the kids even more instead, but can only also handle being possessive of them, and then the threat of losing them too is super threatening and then the court plays into that, and it’s really all just a mechanism of natural territorial and protective behavior all along, in its awful twisted way. But basically none of that was my fault, at least from the start! The hard truth is that it’s really nobody’s fault, or everyone’s fault, and that’s what Jesus said about it. It’s just totally stupid and just sucks, a lot, for everyone. I was just busy minding my own business, and I really didn’t care that much for probably half of the whole thing, and then of course it started sucking me in too and I eventually got invested, but only because I was pissed off and didn’t want to be caught up in it at all let alone that long, and I had way more important stuff to do. All I wanted to do was open a fitness arcade that sold health smoothies (I didn’t even really want to or even planned on doing that, it also just kinda happened), and then leverage my puzzle game in Japan to fund a cross cultural tournament and ideally try to make and disperse a shit ton of money for everyone involved and do more cool stuff, heh. Of course that’s no real guarantee something would be successful, but my strategy was to be available as a downloadable title at or shortly after the launch, which gives you a really good chance. Anyway, it’s kind of pointless now, I was already way past any reasonable sunk cost fallacy marker, and then this stupid crap happened and I’m chalking that up as God’s sign to stop, unless I suddenly get massive interest in it and there’s some reasonable and realistic chance that it would be profitable enough to at least not ruin my life any further. I’m pretty sure that’s a real thing, the Playstation, and you can just walk into Walmart and buy it. But now the overall picture is getting harder to see. Maybe I am in a simulation, Walmart isn’t even real, school wasn’t real, the people I grew up knowing are just AI bots, and the Playstation was actually a tool of the Devil all along to trap me in an infinite loop of illusion and suffering. It is entirely possible, I can imagine designing a game world where all those touchstone brands and logos are dynamically and randomly procedurally generated on start. And if you look at the supernatural pattern that occurred, and then think of human existence and the human mind itself as a sort of virtual-real-real-virtual emulated meat brain computer AI, that is exactly what it is in either case! We automatically create this sort of symbolic spiritual narrative for each other, and it’s consistent across cultures and languages. Little kids draw a tree next to a house, big kids apparently maybe draw mind bending time machine aliens, but the weirder thing is that they appear to draw them in specific patterns across entire cultures as a collective in order to weave an orchestrated narrative for others to encounter, and you can see this exists in all human expression and creation, really. Well, now I understand conservative parenting. Maybe Dungeons and Dragons really is the Devil. But hey, here’s the interesting thing. If YOU are real, and you are reading this, you know something that I cannot possibly know! That information can help YOU understand your reality a bit more. Unless of course I am actually an AI NPC bot created by the Devil to fool you. I sure don’t feel like one, but there’s no way for you to know that for sure! But if that’s the case, then everyone else in your life is probably fake as well, there is no point to anything at all because it’s all “artificial,” and you should give up and go pray over rosary beads and do the bare minimum and wait for death and the afterlife, which is the “real” life. It could be, or it could be reincarnation, or that’s the same thing, or maybe you just die and that’s it, but the argument is pretty solid for alternatives. I’m just the Devil trying to trap you in my eternal torture maze in this evil world, bwa ha ha. Except what if it turns out that everything is actually real, and this is the real world, this is the Kingdom of Heaven and was all along, and you’re gonna be reborn as a Guatamalan kid who remembers his old home address until he turns 4, and there are a lot of real problems to solve and things that could be improved in the world, then you’re not doing the good that you know you could do, and that’s not right either. Well, it doesn’t matter. The important thing in the end is to do the work anyway, to go to school anyway, to just keep going, and let it all progress naturally. There’s a pretty decent guide that seems fairly helpful, too.

Screens are bad! Well, maybe. Freedom of information has apparently necessarily led to its own destruction through the proliferation of increasingly powerful tools of illusion, and it seems like this always would have happened, and therefore has probably happened before. We supposedly, apparently, went from the first light bulb to photorealistic immersive virtual reality game worlds in a little over a hundred and fifty years. For all you know half of the people you ever met were holograms (with fake hologram IDs and everything!) and half weren’t. Maybe that customer was an angel that spawned around the corner outside of your viewport when your zone shifted. The most direct solution seems to be to just delete everything, to not look, not to rely on technology. But in the world we live in, that isn’t realistic, and it doesn’t solve anything either, since for all we know everything was always an illusion from the very start. Maybe your parents are actually aliens in the Galactic Federation overseeing your soul development progress. How would you know? Being able to trust anything in the first place was really just a delusion all along. So you just have to go with trusting that things are mostly good and people are mostly wanting to be helpful, that people just make mistakes and eventually do feel bad about the mistakes they do make, once they finally realize it, and mostly want to do right, and are willing to listen and try to improve, and that forgiveness and empathy and all the rest of the stuff God said are crucial. Sometimes you just have to trust others, even knowing that you’re going to get hurt. And you can’t just hide from truth, especially if you are actively involved with consuming information that wasn’t already curated. Someone needs to be an information authority. The more professional you are, the greater variety of information you need to consume. Some FBI agents at some point had to watch all the child porn and murder videos to even know what they were in the first place. I bet a couple of them popped boners at some of the teens. Children can’t consent, no matter what, and some parents really do horrifying things, so yeah it’s genuinely bad. But then again, everyone’s parent has seen their underage butthole, a lot. And sin and morality are both a spectrum and subjective. What’s worse, a murder, or a nipple? What if by exposing yourself to unpleasant information, God forbid, you could save starving children? Isn’t it an important parable not to stifle one’s own potential out of fear? Maybe there is a hierarchy of priorities to God’s laws, like not stoning someone to death for eating on the Sabbath or whatever is actually way more moral than strict legalism, and it’s up to us not to get too petty or beat each other (or ourselves) up forever over technicalities and minor rules. Maybe everyone is important, and everyone is ultimately good, and everyone is part of God’s divine plan for us all being insane goldfish randomly bumping into the walls and each other, and nobody really even understands their own thoughts let alone whatever the heck it is you were trying to say. Keep trying!

I never understood that technology could be seen as anti-God or anti-Church. To me, it was always just numbers and data in a machine, a useful tool and an outlet for expression and therapy. But the main danger lies in its accessibility, other than the fact that it’s an infinite recursive basilisk that made me (and soon you!) go insane. It opens the door to all forms of media and communication, and from a religious standpoint, a portion of that will inevitably be “demonic.” The problem, once again, is that the definition of “demonic” is arbitrary and subjective. Media will always be a vehicle for sin, perpetuating a cycle. As humans, what other tools do we have for expression? What is it about the pixels on a screen that is so threatening? Now I see. There really is a lot of bad stuff out there. There really is true evil in the world. Oh gosh, is that a human trafficked sex slave being tortured for blackmail by some unhinged drug cartel, or like, are they actually into that? Well, maybe, who knows. Also, you know, if the “bad guys” get more flashy lights than the “good guys,” they become the “good guys,” and everything’s probably gonna be mostly the same after it all settles down. How much of what we can see is actually real and not some exaggerated propaganda? Not everything is harmless, the world isn’t always fair, not everyone has a happy ending, there are truly evil people out there? Or are they? I just haven’t really yet met one, and I don’t think all the people I’ve met were especially good or bad people, just average. There are two sides to every story. Most people are just frankly kinda shitty most of the time, actually, at least at some point in their life, whether they know it or not, whether it’s on purpose or not even. Traumatized or insecure, mostly. But in the long run people do try to do right. And still, in general, most of the time it’s pretty easy to determine what’s “pornographic” or “obscene” and what’s “not.” Except like many things, it only works as a vague generalization and there will always be outliers that cannot easily fit into one category! So then, just avoid as much of that as you can, of course. It’s not good for you, life is hard and it is serious, and you don’t want to freeze to death in a ditch. Go jogging or something. But let’s not be prude, I’m sure they sell more horse dildo strapons than anyone would like to admit. We are walking contradictions, after all. Ask your Mom if it would fit her. Then ask your Dad. Wait, fit how? Heh heh. Seriously, you do it, because I don’t want to upset mine with a tasteless joke, I’m enough of one myself. Ba-dum Tish. Divine comedy! The issue actually seems to be that nobody can really agree on what is actually allowable or normal, and what’s harmful or sinful or immoral or whatever. A whole lot of people simply give up and settle on missionary only sex, maybe even for reproduction only, because they are actually just very sincerely afraid to violate God’s laws, due to how awful something else was in the past. Life is scary, especially when you are facing it alone, in a world that does not care about you, and so those rules may be all you’ve got at that point to guide you and reassure you that what you are doing is ok. It makes plenty of sense to take it very seriously. The question is how necessary is that strictness, and how strict do you really need to be, in the event that your life is intolerable otherwise? And then there’s the question whether you want your friends or parents to do that sort of thing. I tried to get my parents to take MDMA a couple of times unsuccessfully in earnest as I learned about it becoming potentially legalized as a therapeutic, but it’s probably for the best in retrospect that they refused, and their reasoning was much better than mine. What would I do if they overdosed or had a bad reaction? I didn’t think about that, I only thought about the potential benefits and assumed it would pass all the clinical testing and be as safe as any other prescription. There are probably lots of people who wish their parents would stop taking it! I just want my parents to be happy (which they already are), and I don’t care what they do at all, but they are also like the world’s greatest parents and so I don’t know what it’s like to have anything else. I’m lucky and spoiled in many ways, and in some ways maybe not. It might not be all black or white, all the time, and either perspective could actually be an illusion. This helps me understand my parents’ conservative religious perspective, it is actually truly heroic. Sort of, mostly, at least for my benefit. I always wondered, why choose a side at all? Well, it’s the safest path, and it comes with a guarantee that the information has been vetted and curated, and sure some of it could be propaganda, but so could the alternative, and it’s propaganda you can count on! If you need to protect and provide for a family, that’s a necessary choice. You aren’t just living for yourself anymore and any risks you take are multiplied onto your dependents. So there must be some division made out of necessity. If you truly care about your family, it’s the right choice, and nobody should be judged for that, they should be admired for it. And yet it simply can’t possibly be a complete solution for humans, assuming anything is real and this isn’t all just a simulation, because it’s so limited. Someone might be out there who actually needs to curate that information, if it is real. And there are and will always be exceptions to every rule, there will always be outliers and edge cases, and necessarily, people are going to find themselves in positions there where they also need to choose the other side. So likewise, nobody should be judged for that either. At the same time, I can’t look at liberal media and see a complete solution there either. The core religious values are true and important, and if you actually read it, you really can’t be sure how seriously to take it, and that’s scary. It is not right to be proud of a culture that stands against God in any way, so that’s kind of offputting and unfortunate that either sides’ values sometimes seem that way, but maybe that’s also just perception. And of course to be fair politics has somehow managed to divide itself in such a way that neither side fulfills all religious and ethical values, so you can’t just associate one side with being OK with God, it’s probably actually balanced itself close to equally, and sometimes values on either side seem to totally miss the plot, and there are good arguments on both sides for all of it. And yet, it’s clearly a necessary reaction. You can’t just sweep the undesirables under the rug because they don’t fit into your limited worldview, and at some point they are going to need to make some noise. The problem is that the noise they are making on both sides looks downright evil to the other side, because the harder someone needs to try to get attention, the more extreme the themes they need to use become. But who draws the line? Where is the boundary between acceptable and sinful? Is a picture of a penis okay? A dildo? A horse dildo? A horse dildo strapon? A swastika? A KKK uniform? A guy in a KKK uniform with a swastika, wearing the horse dildo strapon? So hot, heh heh. These things are woven into society and culture. It’s impossible to moderate anything completely if you have any freedom of information at all. The decision of where to draw the line must be made by an authority, but that authority will always be biased and random. It becomes a matter of patriarchal control, passed down through generations out of sheer necessity. The thought is almost comical. I’ll tell you what makes sense, because I say so! And it’s probably a very delicate balance, as far as I can tell politics goes back to the book of Kings, in which every liberal king who disobeys God in any way ruins Israel yet again and vice versa. Ultimately, the best course of action seems to be to do as little as possible personally, but forbid nothing from others, because it’s impossible to draw a line that makes sense for everyone. I am back where I started: avoid what I can, stay mostly conservative in action, and follow God’s laws. Don’t do drugs. Stay off the internet porn. Do my best, but accept that some of it is out of my control and in God’s hands.

I should have listened to my parents more. I should have controlled myself better. I didn’t, and now I know I can only trust in my own actions. I will continue to try and help people however I can. I will continue to improve. I would be nothing without my parents. I hope I can be useful again someday. The purpose of life is to know the Lord Jesus Christ. I am a horrible, stupid fool, and I need God. It’s the only thing that should matter, but that’s not the reality I see around me. I don’t deserve anything, and yet I have everything. It’s just whatever, I guess. Everything I do can feel like a disaster, no matter how hard I try. I’m sorry I’m a dumb, gay loser. I will always Praise the Lord. It seems that life will go on until it doesn’t. Everybody wins, everybody loses, everything kills you, everyone dies. And through it all, “everybody’s good.” That’s what I have to believe. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ, Forever and Ever! Thank you, Jesus. I Love You, Lord. Hallelujah! Glory to The Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ!! I’m Saved! Spoiler, He turns out to be my boyfriend in the end or something, I’m actually Lucifer, and my life is an eternal hell torture simulator that slowly reveals itself over the course of my life, over and over forever. I’m fucked. I’m just not totally sure anymore whether that’s like, good or bad, ok? Just kidding, it’s probably bad. It’s at least very embarrassing. Divine comedy!

Here is my apocalyptic post-capitalist technological “artistic masterpiece,” a real-fake-real virtual reality VRchat psytrance dance club called “hellven” with sissy porn on all the walls and sissymaker videos on the floor and ceiling, trapping your innocent children’s souls into an infinite vortex of buttholes. Truly I am LuciferSatan666@hotmail.com, and your male children will become trapped in their VR headset for all eternity, it will merge with their flesh and crush their fragile manhoods into a single 3D hologram butthole pixel forever and ever and ever. Bwa ha ha ha. d-don’t look at it, senpai! For real, don’t! I take no responsibility! It is only an “art piece,” it’s not “real,” don’t worry, it would almost certainly get banned from VRchat immediately. This took me all of a few hours to make, it’s stupid, it’s terrible, it’s creepy, it’s maximum trashiness, it’s probably gross to you, bla bla, don’t try this at home kids. I think it’s kinda cool and has an interesting mental effect of not being sure if you wanna listen to the music or watch the walls, I’m not sure if I could or would want to dance there, but I would probably try, so there you go. All dials set to 11. I don’t think there is anything new, groundbreaking, or even all that interesting here. I think it is just a part of reality, it always was, and always will be. But maybe it’s all a simulation to begin with, in which case I have just combined a bunch of fake trash into nothing, and who really cares either way. Is this sexual immorality? Probably nobody knows! There’s no way to know for sure! Maybe it just needs little black censor bars and it would be OK, or at least slightly funnier. Is it righteous? For some people it might be! It’s not a good idea, but I would probably still go there if it existed. So now I’m the (a) butt messiah, whee! 500 years from now I expect people to be doing ritual prayer squats to a statue that looks nothing like me. I’ll get fucked to death for the forgiveness of prostates, and once I am deified my loyal AngelDemons shall release estrogen and LSD into the water supply and turn all the frogs gay and make trans mandatory for all humans! Probably not because it would be really expensive and also not really work, and it’s just kind of dumb! Don’t do any of that. I’m not that great, I don’t think I’m even really very good at anything, I just kept going at something dumb. I don’t even know why I’m writing anything here at all. Some sort of catharsis or reconciliation or explanation or even demonstration/recognition of my own stupidity before I just dip out, I don’t even know. I was a dumb kid, I’m a bad person, I tried to see it through, mostly anyway, it wasn’t worth it but here I am. I do sometimes think maybe if rougher males didn’t rely on territorial domination cues to establish hierarchy the more delicate males wouldn’t need to protect themselves inside liberal corporate utopias to harness the power of their minds, and if you drop the illusory neanderthal toxic masculinity patriarchal perception of “disrespect” you’ll see they are actually having quite a great time! But then everyone would starve to death since they would be too busy fucking and there would be no more truck drivers or farmers or families and eventually people would forget how the robots worked, probably! Also, they probably flip out on each other a lot and maybe it gets really bad! So, you can help save humanity by bullying these narcissistic faggots back to San Francisco, it’s the natural order of the world as God intended! Enjoy! Sorry Dad!

(You can play this game with just a Windows PC running the actual arcade game software with a $150 3rd party controller, it’s super hard for a month or so but totally worth it imo. Ask one of your nerd friends to get it for you! Caution: may destroy the planet!)

(You can play this game with just a Windows PC running the actual arcade game software with a $150 3rd party controller, it’s super hard for a month or so but totally worth it imo. Ask one of your nerd friends to get it for you! Caution: may destroy the planet!)

I unironically like and sincerely enjoyed listening to all this music before I had any idea what any of it could possibly mean. So it’s like, you hopefully obviously have to take it as a joke, even when some of it is disturbing or even terrifying, or even just bad or not very good or whatever. Never ever take anything personally, because it’s really not and I have no idea what I’m doing and I don’t think anyone really does. Assume even I think it’s stupid and ridiculous and take it as a joke. I don’t know why any of this stuff came up but it just did. It’s just goofy and weird and maybe kinda scary and maybe kinda cool. I never said I even have good taste, I think that’s sort of out the window, I don’t even know what that is, nor do I really care. I’m an intolerable dork, but at least I’m consistent. I’ve gotten really scared of media many times, in case that’s not obvious by now. I’m aware it probably is weird at best to most people and that some of it has a sucker punchy sort of quality, which is really unfair and horrible but sometimes when it’s also got that over the top ridiculous overkill quality as well that can be funny too in its own strange way, and that must be its interpretation. And then that must be tempered with generosity and acceptance and forgiveness, and humor doesn’t hurt. An interesting question is raised, is it more righteous to silently abandon anyone to certain condemnation, or to continue actively poking at them until they get the message? But yeah I understand fully that some of it is creepy and frightening and even just terrible, but the point is that I actually just genuinely liked it all for what it is, before I even knew what it was, but the most interesting part is definitely that I somehow managed to stumble upon all this stuff along the way and held onto it all for whatever reason. I don’t really know why! Pretty fascinating, and especially to me that some cultural themes are only really acceptable when balanced with the goofiness of everything else, you can really see how important God is culturally as an outsider, and that there are still so many overlapping very specific esoteric themes between styles, cultures, and languages, despite being radically different in most other ways. It’s like you really do need a little bit of everything all mixed together to make sense of all of it. Well, I don’t know. It’s up to you, I guess. The truth is, everyone really is great. Like, insanely so, for real. Maybe somehow, in some strange way, it will actually be worth it to everyone.

I apologize to anyone I have ever upset. It’s probably a lot of people, like probably seriously nearly everyone I have ever met. Sorry, I think it’s mostly just actually that way by design. I don’t think there’s much of anything I can really do about it except continue apologizing though, and hope that at least it is a little bit “enlightening.”

Thomas Jefferson was almost certainly the (an) “Antichrist,” lol. Probably so was Steve Jobs in a sense, probably along with every other liberal corporation founder with a rainbow logo, probably as a result of Thomas Jefferson & Co. establishing separation of Church and State, which allowed for financially backed countercultural/liberal development outside of royal academic wizardry guilds. Or maybe not, and he was actually a blasphemous heretical drug lord who created a Satanic drug cartel cult. (Hint: there is nothing but cults all the way down!)

Hitler was probably actually the (a) “Second Coming” except he went crazy and messed up his books because meth and got himself in a whole lot of trouble. It’s pretty clear the Holocaust wasn’t intentional from the start and was the result of finances and drugs abuse, and it does seem it has been exaggerated in some ways (and also NOT, it was absolutely horrific and is not justifiable by any means, however the initial motive is sort of the difference between premeditated homicide and manslaughter and does probably matter!) and has been politically untouchable forever. Up until any real conflict the whole Nazi thing was actually kinda cool and impressive and there’s a reason people bought into it, in my awful humble honest opinion, except for the weird and unnecessary opinions about minorities, and I don’t think there’s ever any real reason to go to war at all really. I know very little about it, actually, so I very well could just be horribly wrong and ignorant and stupid. I’m sorry if true and I gladly revoke my bad dumb opinion. But being an internet native, my general impression is that “The Holocaust” essentially happened more or less as an accident, and then he got character assassinated super hard to counter his popularity, and then just kidding, we’ll just take all his science guys and then copy his whole playbook minus most of the really weird stuff and the logo, and now it’s really cool! USA! USA! Yeah, we stole the value and buried the original, but for good reason. Dictators bad, USA very good, and maybe sometimes we just need some of that nationalism vibe to motivate us, so now we just perpetually waver between bad Nazi and good Nazi and that’s been politics for 80 years. Thanks, Adolf Hitler! My God, what a beautiful name. Propaganda works. But it’s just weird to have such a critical historical event portrayed in this hushed exaggerated smeary manner, as if actually being completely honest with the description somehow excuses any of it or makes it better? Technically if you are an American you are probably already more of an average actual Nazi than basically any “Neo-Nazi,” which only has the weird and bad stuff. If he would have not been on meth and just backed down when stuff got too weird he would have probably at least lived to see it, too, for good or bad, but that’s probably just not how dictators roll, especially once they get to tweakin’. Sometimes I have to be careful not to watch fashwave music videos, because I know it’s probably skinhead propaganda and it’s probably gonna work on me if I watch enough of it because I’m kind of gaaaaay, if you can’t tell, so raw power and explosions are extra enticing. Hitler bad, it’s a bad opinion and I am bad and dumb. Actual war is the worst and most pointless thing ever and I would rather suck a thousand Chinese soldier dicks than send a bunch of people to die for any reason, although I’d probably do that anyway. But on the other hand I totally understand what it’s like to get super mad and want to order a million soldiers to go fuck something up. Don’t ever give me the real bombs, ok. Even if I cry and beg and scream and promise not to use them. Because I’ll probably use them and then cope by thinking it’s funny even though it’s really not. I honestly don’t even know if atomic bombs are even real, there’s a conspiracy theory that they are a hoax, and I’m stupid enough to not be able to verify the physics to prove it’s legit technology or not. It sucks being ignorant and I wish I was a better student, but I wasn’t, so here I am but at least I’m honest and I think fairly reasonable sometimes? It’s my website where I think and rant and say unpopular and ignorant and incorrect things until I learn something better, mostly because I’m actually really that dumb, and I’m just trying to reboot my own broken brain from trauma and hundreds of tabs of acid and dozens of grams of MDMA and research chemicals and a lifetime of internet brainrot and to get used to public exposure better, and I actually don’t care or know if anyone reads it or not. I actually don’t look, believe it or not. I prefer Schrodinger’s cat to frustrating criticism about stuff that isn’t even correct and might just be AI anyway. Don’t do any of that or be so extreme if you can help it, please, and just be more cautious in general, this is really the worst. Acid and molly was fun for a while but holy shit the mental fallout was so bad and crept up like a terrifying surprise, emotionally and rationally, don’t ever do it unless you are super stable in life and can afford to lose 6 months to delusional confusion. On the other hand, I feel like I recovered fairly easily and it was so helpful for having new perspectives and understanding myself and humans better. So idk. I totally get why most people trying to deal with public exposure don’t make it very far. It’s super hard. I don’t know what’s more cringe, my normal normal trippy thoughts or my religious panic attack bad trip normal thoughts, so I’ll just leave it all I guess. I’m not trying to convince anyone of some fake always-confident persona. I’m not sure that I will succeed at anything, I’m not even really sure what I’m even doing, I probably won’t, but the truth is the truth and if that helps someone somehow it’s worth putting out there. I was desperate and super messed up and in retrospect totally foolish, but I guess I always am. But like, who really cares, everyone has a story. I’m absolutely sure there are a lot of very similar books in the library that are probably in general a lot better than this or anything I will ever write. Somebody hopefully nicer than you will eventually tell me the really stupid things I said in a way that isn’t too hard for me to process and then I’ll correct myself. Try to be nice or go away. Although, I am not always all that nice either, but it’s certainly not on purpose, and I try to be nice from the start, and I also always continue trying to be nice and forgive people, which is what we are commanded to do by God. And I think it was always set up to go this way, which is also nonsense and I don’t agree with that either. I don’t think this particular situation was fair to anyone and really nobody is to blame. Don’t do it, it’s horrible. I don’t really blame anyone and I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault. I probably really just need to go rehabilitate myself again, but I’m not sure how effective that is really actually going to be. I also understand that not everyone can do that and that’s why I’ll never be accepted. It is what it is. I’m not certain that I’ll be able to even do that without lighting a fire under my own ass, so I think I might just have to do that, which is pretty awful, but I don’t know what else to do. I’m doing my best but frankly my best really sucks right now, and that’s just gonna have to be ok too. Well, I suppose it was just never any of my business anyway. Really, that’s all I was trying to do in the first place was mind my own business. I guess that God just says no, and that’s that. That’s hard to accept, but it is what it is. Life moves on.

Refined Prompt for Religious Study

Be conservative, it’s the safest and most correct way to be. There really actually isn’t any choice, due to the wording in the Scriptures. Be as conservative as possible without being harmful to others, which basically means do as little as possible, be as bland as possible. But I’m not really sure if that’s always possible, because of stupid situations like this. Well, I’m sorry. I repent. Everything that I said was truly terrible, probably. I hope it was at least authentic and interesting in some way. I’m an idiot and a stupidest fool. Thanks for everything, everyone is great. Listen to your parents! Definitely not to me! I think all that stuff is all just probably really bad. It kind of sucks, anyway, I think, it’s not really that good, it’s not very good, it’s not funny. Well, in a couple ways I think it’s kind of awesome, but it’s like just too much, but then that’s only part of the problem, the message is not good as well. So let’s just avoid it. Don’t do it!!! Don’t do any of that stuff, it’s not good. I literally just thought it was though. I’m sorry. I think I am just mostly terrible. Go to the gym or something but don’t overdo that either! Stay on the middle path! Allow it, but don’t do it! Just nicely refuse and discourage it the best you can. Always be nice and explain yourself humbly and forgive everything. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ Good God Almighty forever and ever! Yeah!! Just try to do whatever is good and love each other the best you can, that’s pretty much the whole of it, but you can’t really define what good and bad really are, so either stay busy and do as little as possible (conservative) and be confident you are not doing wrong, vs doing everything in God’s creation but it’s difficult and embarrassing and there are consequences, some unsurmountable. And then just love God (which includes you as a cellular organism within!) for this incredible experience. I am sorry for everything. Thank you for everything. I truly do love researching and thinking about all this stuff! I LOVE God, Hallelujah! I just can’t figure out exactly what He wants us/me to do!!! I don’t think anyone ever has, and the very best anyone can do is minimize risk, which is actually also futile and pointless in some circumstances and is not based in faith. Unless you have a family, in which case it’s probably whichever is statistically safest! It’s pretty difficult to figure out whether I’m supposed to walk in faith and shine my light or not, since it feels like basically everything that I like is incompatible with conservative Christianity. I think that’s the problem, since I was a little kid I kept thinking of that “this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine” and assumed it meant to shine my personal flavor into the world. But upon closer inspection I don’t think there Bible says that at all, actually self promoting behavior is sort of forbidden by the second Commandment. Unless you achieve ranks or certification from some sort of authority. The issue is that any authority is violating God’s rules if it can be idolized in any way, which is sort of the whole purpose of branding and marketing. So if you end up having to submit to some heretical institution anyway, why is that better than establishing your own? So then, what Christianity actually means is to serve others without being complicit with any idolatry, although there is a minimum compromise necessary in that you need a birth certificate, etc. Now this is getting into “sovereign citizen” stuff, which is fascinating but not much of a solution. This is why I just avoided the topic of religion altogether up until the last few years, there’s just no way to solve or accomplish anything within those limitations. However we are forced to go to school where we are taught techniques and encouraged to solve problems in order to better the world. If religion is the solution already, there would be no progress, but progress would not be needed. Maybe we just don’t need progress at all and this is as good as it gets. It’s hard to accept that when I still see conditions that we could probably solve with new technologies, and we are thrust into a world that pushes and guides and even forces us to achieve. So what do I do? What’s the answer? Maybe those are the wrong questions, and talk is cheap, and whatever God’s plan is will happen regardless of what anyone does. Do what you gotta do, if you feel like you’re supposed to do it, but then again if you were going to do it you would just do it anyway. Do what thou wilt. Do whatever man. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ! Do nothing. Everything is wrong. I will do nothing and then I will die to forgive you doing anything, in case you do, which you will, because there is no real choice. Ha ha, the ultimate circular reasoning! I’m nothing, just some idiot fool. Thanks for everything, sorry. I’ll be alright. I wish everyone the best.

Everything Jesus Said

Avoid “sexual immorality,” “homosexuality,” “fornication,” “sodomy,” “effeminate” character, “sensuality,” lustful thoughts, wearing opposite sex clothing, sleeping with same sex as one sleeps with opposite sex. Violators “will not inherit Kingdom of God.” Is the Kingdom of God simply a reference to a very conservative marital relationship and simple lifestyle tempered by spiritual discipline? (i.e. no liberal arts, strict adherence to conservative behaviors and definitions) Is it better to be concerned about your own “inheritance” (assumed to be a pleasant life as opposed to material inheritance) or is human liberty actually more important than worrying about your own gain? What if the Kingdom of God manifests as a utopia with no money, but very conservative liberties? Extending human liberty possibly therefore creates dissatisfaction and need for money/status. Seems like there is a wide variety of acceptable social behaviors, perhaps liberal lifestyles are not necessarily incompatible with Christianity, despite seeming to be. It seems evident that some people are able to successfully and reliably live in such a way which would at first glance seem to contradict the Bible without repercussion. But perhaps it is almost apparent in common sense life experience, if something feels like it’s ok and not hurting anyone, maybe it sometimes is actually just ok despite seeming to violate rules? What if the Kingdom of God actually manifests itself however you want it to (childlike perspective as much as is possible, try to be friends with everyone, trust God to provide), and social classes are therefore actually just different parallel versions of the Kingdom with different levels of accepted norms (We are conservative Christian, we don’t do x, vs We are liberal humans, Christ is LORD and Christ is risen, don’t really worry about rules! If I’m not allowed to do (seemingly harmless but controversial thing) then how can it be Heaven? How could it be Heaven if it’s full of people doing (horrible disgusting description of controversial thing)?

Conservative interpretation vs Liberal.

Immorality: Cheating on your wife with coworker, porn, etc vs Knowingly not inviting your wife into threesome during swinger vacation.

Homosexuality: Same sex relationships vs Pederasty i.e. don’t buy underage boys as sex slaves in exchange for apprenticeship, a much more abhorrent (but still common) behavior at the time.

Fornication: Any extramarital or premarital sex vs Any sort of casual one-time sex, as opposed to swinger friends.

Lustful thoughts: Looking at any sort of nudity or sexual content vs Mentally submitting to nudity or sexual content and allowing sexual thoughts vs Considering sex with real person in real life without discussion or permission.

Sodomy: Any anal sex (or in some cases oral sex) vs Roving gangs of transgender rapists looking for fresh meat for their forced gay orgies against people’s wills.

Effeminate: Don’t be a pansy/sissy boy, do x like a real man, don’t wear girly clothes vs Don’t give into weak and helpless emotions in a destructive and degenerate way as opposed to having a constructive mindset and being willing to adapt, grow, etc.

Sensuality: Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in conflict and jealousy. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality. The Greek word that is translated sensuality is “aselgeia” and its’ meaning is “licentiousness, wantonness,” used to describe “outrageous conduct, conduct shocking to public decency, wanton violence or lewdness.” The general idea is the satisfaction of all the senses through casual sexual immorality, drunkenness, violence, drugs and so on. Obviously that is a problem because it leads people off into troublesome behavior and away from the Spirit. Avoid all Works of the Flesh, let’s all be celibate nuns or monks forever vs Getting freaky outside of normal playtime. I.e. there is such a thing as normal person sexy time and you can do whatever you want during it, just don’t do anything outside of it. However, the definition of “normal” must necessarily include every possibility, since it is actually impossible to define. It is not possible to draw a line between ok and not ok. Well then, how do you decide between what’s acceptable and what’s not?

Crossdressing: A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God. Crossdressing as mental illness, AGP/hidden fetish definitely sexual immorality vs Kink/open & acceptable fetish in committed relationship vs Transgender technology and culture, transformation due to dysphoria etc as opposed to fetish, not intended to deceive. The Hebrew word translated “abomination” means “a disgusting thing, abominable, in the ritual sense (of unclean food, idols, mixed (religion!) marriages), in the ethical sense of wickedness.” Therefore, this is not simply God addressing the fact that a woman might put on a man’s garment or vice versa. The meaning here is that this “cross-dressing” and transvestism is done in order to deceive, or to present oneself as something that he/she is not. I don’t think anyone is trying to do anything like that here. If you and your wife both get off on it and you aren’t secretly hiding it, is there a problem? If you come out as trans, is that hiding it or trying to deceive? Likely the opposite, unless it’s for secret fetish reason, in which case get therapy and decide. Legit trans people are super brave and should be respected! There’s a whole lot more to being a woman than being a slut, so be very careful not to be tempted purely by the slutty part only to find out you don’t actually want the rest. You can be a slut without becoming trans, so be very sure! If not, society doesn’t want to cater to fetishists for good reason so cut it out. That’s the problem.

Lay With Same Sex: Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination. Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable. Any sexual activity vs Specifically romantic/marital sexual activity. What if your wife is into it, you are swingers, there are sissies, there are trans people, etc, but essentially a totally different activity than a romantic date night and rekindling intimacy, so it meets the definition, just maybe not in the way you expected. Is that good or not? I will assume it means both “don’t make love to your wife the way you fuck your harem of femboy sluts” and “don’t make love to your femboy slut transwife queen the way you would with your 800 wives and 200 additional concubines, shout-out to insatiable pimp daddy Solomon and uhh Madonna,” and its various interpretations. Impossible to define. God, please come back and clarify, thanks. Until then the only information actually in this statement is “you should treat male and female differently.”

Unlikely that particular interpretations necessarily correlate with social class cultures, but perhaps they were influenced during their development? Why are some groups of people not afraid to break rules and not concerned, also seemingly also not being hit by lightning? The common Christian interpretation of the Bible seems also potentially unnecessarily or excessively conservative, it may be the intended result, it may be that multiple interpretations is actually intended, it may be that actual social norms and behavior are defined by multiple interpretations, it may be that the illusion that it only applies to conservative society is ideal! Or not!

Am I seriously trying to say that a room full of sissy crossdressing fags banging each other in the butt is acceptable, valid Christian behavior and is in any way Biblically supported? Sort of! For the reason that a) People are doing it, and are not burning up in divine flames, b) People want to do it, and it seems in some ways a very delicate and complex emotional/sexual circumstance which is perhaps quite different and much more refined than rougher forms of sexual behavior, and c) It seems to be so common and such a consistent consequence of long term exposure to liberal erotic media that it seems to be perhaps an intentional detail of God’s divine design for our social development and particular configurations, meaning it’s not necessarily actually a sin if you interpret it from a liberal viewpoint, however extreme it may superficially seem. If it has no apparent negative consequences but clear benefits to liberty and life experience, perhaps the common accepted conservative interpretation is therefore somewhat faulty due to being too limited, and alternative interpretations should be explored. To each their own, if they can handle it and it works for them. If a sinful behavior is difficult and takes experience and skill to handle without consequence, perhaps it is not the behavior itself which is sinful but rather a failure to handle it appropriately without causing some emotional harm to others. In other words, if u wanna be naughty then git gud nub.

Don’t play those games, don’t listen to that music, stay off the internet porn, don’t do drugs, stay in school, go to Church and read the Bible, listen to your parents! Or don’t, who the heck am I to tell anyone anything? Definitely don’t listen to me! Or do! Just don’t be mad when you realize I’m every bit as stupid and terrible as I said! Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever!

An in-depth analysis and revision of the provided text has been conducted. Below you will find a summary of factual corrections followed by a reorganized and condensed version of the text, as requested.

Factual Corrections and Clarifications

Several statements in the original text are factually incorrect or represent highly unorthodox interpretations. Here are the necessary corrections:

• On Adolf Hitler: The text states, “Man Hitler wasn’t really that bad of a dude he was trying to help.” This is factually incorrect. Adolf Hitler was the leader of the Nazi Party, dictator of Germany, and the primary instigator of World War II and the Holocaust, which resulted in the systematic murder of approximately six million Jews and millions of others. His ideology and actions are considered unequivocally evil by historical consensus.
• On Charles Manson: The text expresses sympathy for Charles Manson, calling him a “smart guy” who is “really funny.” While opinions on his intelligence or demeanor may be subjective, it is crucial to note that Charles Manson was a notorious cult leader convicted of first-degree murder and conspiracy for orchestrating the brutal slayings of seven people in 1969.
• On the Atomic Bombings of Japan: The text questions whether the nuclear bombings of Japan “supposedly” happened and if nuclear bombs are “a real thing.” The atomic bombings of the Japanese cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in August 1945 are undisputed historical events that precipitated the end of World War II.
• On Psychedelics and Computers: The claim that computers are “based on a fool who took psychedelics” is a vast oversimplification. While some influential figures in the early personal computing era, such as Steve Jobs, reported psychedelic experiences, the foundational principles of computer science and hardware were developed over many decades by numerous scientists and engineers, with no direct link to psychedelics.
• On the “Son of Perdition”: The text correctly states that some translations and interpretations of the Bible (specifically John 17:12) identify Judas Iscariot as the “son of perdition.” This is a mainstream theological view.
• On the Second Commandment and Art: The idea that being an artist violates the Second Commandment (“You shall not make for yourself a carved image…”) is a strict interpretation held by a minority. Most Christian denominations interpret this as a prohibition against creating images for the purpose of worship (idolatry), not a ban on art itself.
• On Deuteronomy 7:25: The text applies this verse, which commands the burning of idols from conquered nations, to a “gold dance game.” This is a personal, symbolic application of the scripture. The original context of the verse is a specific instruction to the ancient Israelites concerning Canaanite religious artifacts.
• On Jesus and “Voluntary Self-Extinction”: The statement that “Jesus promoted voluntary self extinction” is not supported by Christian theology. Jesus’s teachings about “denying oneself” (Matthew 16:24) and “losing one’s life to find it” (Matthew 10:39) are widely interpreted as calls to reject selfish, sinful desires and to dedicate one’s life to God and others, not to seek literal self-destruction.

Revised and Condensed Text

The original text has been condensed and reorganized into thematic paragraphs. Exact repetitive sentences were removed, and the content has been rewritten for clarity while preserving the original style, tone, and all core ideas.

Part 1: Warnings and Admonitions

Listen to this advice, or don’t—who am I to tell you anything? Don’t listen to me; I’m every bit as stupid and terrible as I claim. Or do, but don’t be mad when you realize it’s true.

Don’t play those horrible video games or listen to that awful music. Stay off the internet, especially the pornography. Never, ever do drugs, and absolutely do not drink alcohol or use nicotine. Go to church, read the Bible, stay in school, and maybe consider community college. Listen to jazz and gospel. Read Dave Ramsey’s books, like The Total Money Makeover, get a mortgage for a house you can actually afford, and don’t take on any other debt. Buy a used car, don’t rent, and don’t chase flashy things or try to be cool and sexy.

Technology is not the answer; it’s a distraction. Get off your phone and the internet unless you need it for something practical like a recipe. We should probably go back to books and libraries, though maybe even those were demonic to begin with. We don’t need to go to space, invent time machines, build robots or AGI, or try to live forever. Be content with this life and find satisfaction in serving others.

Part 2: A Confession of Failure and Repentance

Everything I ever did was stupid, wrong, and backwards. I am a moron, a wretched disaster, a sinner, and an absolute fool. I don’t think my brain works right. There’s not a single good thing about me, and I’m not smart, kind, or righteous as I once believed myself to be. I am the worst person that ever lived, and I despise myself. Every single thing was my fault from the start because I didn’t listen, didn’t read the Bible, and foolishly put faith in my own abilities instead of God.

I thought I was always doing good things, but I guess I’m not so sure after all. At times I chose what I thought was right, but of course, I just kept making more mistakes. I tried to fix my errors, but the path was wrong from the beginning. My name means something like “famed hero, gift of God,” but here I am. I just went crazy, which is otherwise called “being young.”

Please, Lord, have mercy on my soul. I am a horrible sinner and nothing but a stupid fool. I am broken, wretched, defenseless, and pitiful. I can’t save myself or fix this without You, my God. As soon as I thought I had it right, I fell again because I tried to do it myself. I repent with all my being. I renounce and forsake everything I ever did, besides going to Church and being confirmed and baptized—the only important thing I ever did in my life. I’m sorry for everything.

Part 3: The Dangers of Games, Music, and Drugs

Do not play those stupid games or listen to that horrible music; they are demonic. The games have warnings not to be played outside of Japan, and I should have obeyed. It’s likely due to delicate cultural differences, but it’s my fault for not listening. They contain themes God doesn’t like, and as man’s creation, they may be fundamentally flawed. I thought they helped me, but I was wrong; going for a walk or to the gym is much better.

Especially avoid the psytrance music. It might seem funny, but it’s a demonic trick. The music label uses an image of Shiva, the Hindu deity of destruction, which I don’t think the God of Israel approves of. Anything produced with drugs is demonic. I thought it was funny because I was under overwhelming emotional stress and couldn’t understand what was happening. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values to seem novel and progressive but ultimately leads to madness. A person who is emotionally damaged can’t tell the difference between funny and terrifying, making them vulnerable. It’s the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It is so perfectly terrible that it crosses the threshold of seeming real at all.

Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. My spiritual path took me through cultures that validate these destructive things, and I was led to believe they were useful. But they are absolutely evil. The information online about them is shallow; it might accurately describe an effect, but this seeming validation leads to confidence in incomplete information that does more harm than good.

Part 4: Questioning Reality and the Nature of Spirit

My whole life path seems to have been manifested, and I’m no longer sure what is real. I don’t even know if my memories are real, or if I dreamt about being “smart” and it never happened. I’ve met the founders from Unreal, Discord, Meta, Apple, and LSD, and I’m still not certain if it was real. There is a supernatural pattern to it all, which makes me think this is a spiritual journey. I can no longer tell whether or not I am trapped in an eternal, AI-generated hologram or a manifested spiritual Matrix torture simulation of my own making.

What if I’m in a video game? What if the roads are just procedurally generated past the draw-distance horizon? Maybe the eggs at the grocery store just teleport there, and if I visited a farm, I’d only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be so. It seems both religion and science are correct, as if there are two worlds born from our dualistic thinking. Maybe we are physical beings in a physical world, or spiritual beings in a magic hologram, or both at the same time.

What exactly is the Holy Spirit, anyway? Nobody seems to know for certain. Some say it’s “the spirit of purity,” others say it’s “the voice of creative bravery.” Why do we think it’s exclusively about being pure when only God is good? Could it be that it has dual meanings simultaneously?

Part 5: Contradictory Paths and Finding a Way

My advice is a mess. Listen to me! Wait, listen to yourself! Listen to your parents! No, listen to God! It seems everyone was right all along. Take the middle path. Have a little fun, but not too much. Take it easy, but not too easy. Try your best, but don’t be foolish or too extreme. Keep it reasonable and try to have common sense, whatever that is.

There’s no need to be a hero, but those who are are good too. It’s hard to do stuff, so be nice to people who are trying and help out if you can. Don’t forget to share when you make it. Everyone’s insecure, a little crazy, and still learning. It’s okay to make mistakes; just always forgive, including yourself. Take it one day at a time, don’t be afraid to ask for help, and always try to help others. You’ll be fine and you’ll figure it out.

Part 6: The Only Truth

Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who came to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer and the only and most important truth in this entire universe. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! It’s the only important thing that ever happened. Only God is good, and there are none who do good, not even one. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ; it is only through Him that we are declared innocent. Our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, all for God’s ultimate Glory. Thank you, Lord. I love you, and I am sorry.

Praise the LORD Almighty Jesus Christ!

I am not good at all, don’t listen to me!

Praise God Almighty!

If God says not to do something, don’t do it!

I thought I was always doing good things but I guess I’m not so sure after all. I’m sorry that I thought anything at all. I’m sure everything will be fine. I love you, have a nice day. Thank you. 🧡

Don’t do drugs, stay off the internet porn!

Oh gosh how stupid I am. This is serious and terrifying. Seems like it’s also pretty straightforward. Aw I love everyone so much. Yikes so scary. We can do it. 🙏✝️

Praise the LORD!

Everybody’s Great!

Let’s make a technology/media company that makes a simultaneous multiplayer-first operating system, a privacy-first browser, a people-centric social network, open, distributed, anonymous, private, and encrypted services for everything with no dark patterns, no data mining, no surveillance, designed for human benefit and freedoms first and foremost. The tech companies are not intentionally bad, centralization happened because that is the fastest and most practical solution. We can start over (not from scratch) and do it better now. We probably don’t need to do any of that, and it’s gonna happen anyway, and it’s probably already possible and I just haven’t had time to look into it for a while. Unfortunately, you need real money to do anything, and I had it, and now I don’t because some guy can’t get along for the absolute legal minimum amount necessary with his ex-wife even when she’s sick as hell and he’s got his whole family. I get it though, in retrospect court was total rigged bullshit and the lawyers are all assholes. I didn’t know that, and I don’t agree with it. But then like, if you do know that beforehand, give in, right away. Run and try to fix it, immediately. Especially if the guy tells you straight up right away he’s not going anywhere, and he’s got a bunch of money and seems like he has no clue what’s going on, and especially if you could just explain yourself to him right away and prevent the whole thing, and if he’s a total jerk then maybe go ahead with court. What the heck, bro, I wasn’t trying to do anything to anyone but get more people to exercise and drink smoothies to bootstrap more good stuff. The most I did was bought a couple of cheap things over the course of 3 or 4 years and chuckled a little bit a couple of times like wtf are you all doing and then they all just kept on fighting over nothing anyway, and then bizarrely devolved into accusations of racism even though everyone involved is white, and should have gone fine except the dude made his kids lie for him early on and started cheating basically right away for no apparent reason, which just made it increasingly obvious why she had to take him to court in the first place. In his defense as things progressed he almost certainly did get genuinely concerned for the kids, but by then his new wife had declared war and was probably just pushing the whole thing for the benefit of her own kid, not the actual kids involved in the dispute, although there was probably some unwarranted paranoia involved as well, and of course in retrospect the whole court process is basically set up to play into all of it. I didn’t want to be involved at all let alone this far but it just unfortunately was seemingly meant to go this way. In all fairness though I did go along with some bullshit as things went on because I didn’t really comprehend what was happening, and it’s almost certainly like that on both sides. I mean it’s alright though, for real, I kinda get it because I made plenty of dumb mistakes in the past, I just didn’t expect that level of petty selfishness from anyone, although it’s fair to say it was on all sides, she simply had so much more of a reason than he did from where I stood, and as things went on everything she had told me turned out to be true. I didn’t really care and I still don’t really care as long as something good happens and it’s not all a waste. I have lots of friends who need places to work, assuming they are real people and not hologram bots, so I’ve just been trying to move in that direction. I would like a job myself doing anything I’m actually more specifically useful at. Although I’m not sure whether that’s really going to be available very much anymore eventually due to generative AI, and what I’m doing right now very well already could be the most productive thing I could do. So, just gonna work on open source projects from now on for fun, and all the stuff that was gonna happen anyway will just keep on happening anyway, and it will probably all be fine. The whole thing was just stupid as heck, who cares. We don’t need to like, break the fabric of reality over a toothbrush. Given the circumstances though, and it seems extremely common now that I’m around “normal” people, the emotions involved definitely don’t seem to leave much choice.

What I was going to say was: Let’s use active gaming/media/products for revenue for funding instead of advertising, data, closed source, capitalist services. The business model they are using for music game stuff really is brilliant in my opinion. It creates real jobs for extremely oversaturated categories like being a music artist. It’s like, yeah, everyone wants to be a rockstar, but are you willing to be one 5 days a week, 9-5, anonymously, under a fake name, under contract for the next 15 years, for an average office wage? That will surely weed out some people, and then you get the people who are really serious, and they get their dream jobs and an automatic platform and fanbase, and they can go on later to ride on that reputation and fanbase independently all they want, if they want, but it looks like they mostly don’t even want to. We can do advertising when and where it is entirely beneficial to businesses (without stifling small business or other side effects) and does not detract from users in any way, as a secondary revenue source, not primary. Let’s provide products that people want to pay for, in order to provide maximum value to humanity in all other ways. Let’s eliminate subscriptions and centralization as much as possible. This means keeping pay reasonable and avoiding wage warfare. Nobody should be making $500k+/year to sit at a desk, and yet these are difficult jobs and nobody should be pointing fingers at them either. Class division happens because intellectual jobs require being shielded from social demands, using your brain is hard, coddling people is also bad but happens as a result of competition. These feedback loops lead to class division and extreme financial imbalance, can it be avoided? Probably not within open, uncontrolled capitalism, it needs to be intentionally designed and this understood by participants. Big tech companies were like this early on, be wary! We want to get to the point that we don’t need money at all. Think about what that might look like, without it also being a liberal dystopian nightmare. It would look exactly like what it looks like right now, actually, if your bills just stopped showing up and your paychecks stopped coming. Are you even completely sure that isn’t the case, and you haven’t been fooled into playing into a system designed to fool you? Have you actually tried? I have. I ended up homeless, but never went hungry, not for a single day. All that happened was that I proved to myself that I still have no idea, and now I live in a confused reality where I still pay for stuff but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to just stop and then either the Kingdom of Heaven will reveal itself or I’ll just go to prison. You’re welcome. What happened to other people? How is it possible for me to believe you if you told me? What if anyone who could tell you what actually happened wasn’t even a real person? What if they were actually an AI hologram NPC all along? What if all the TV shows you had seen about it your whole life were actually generated by AI technology from the past? How would you know? You can’t. The absolute most you can do is either experience it yourself, or believe someone else’s story, but there is no way to know for certain that is 100% reliable information. And again, I don’t actually really care what people make as long as it’s actually good. I’m just throwing something out there that makes sense to me. Maybe my ideas are all actually mid-tier shit or worse, which is more likely than not because I was never all that great and now I’m old and out of touch. A lot of mid-tier shit wins yo, if enough people know about it. Just kidding, none of that is ever going to happen, capitalism will just move on to the next thing and it will be just as horrible as the previous, and the previous thing will condense itself into a commodity and nobody will really think or care very much about the bad parts, and a minority of rebels will try to show others videos of baby chicks getting ground up in a factory, and nobody will or can do anything about it so we just occasionally think about the baby chicks and suffer inside until we get distracted by something else. They probably aren’t even real anyway, right? Old Book says not to worry about it, it’s probably all fake. The Galactic Federation is actually testing your loyalty to The Book, farm chickens are a hologram by Satan, video of farm chickens is AI, aliens teleport replicated hologram meat into the grocery store. If your loyalty wavers you will burn forever and ever. F off with your baby chick videos and your lab cultured meat company, hippies.

Ok, back to idealistic pitch mode. If you’re gonna aim for something, aim for the absolute highest good you can think of, and really think it over. Let’s use technology to maximize healthy behaviors and intake, seek both scientific and spiritual truth, and enable and encourage balanced physical, mental, and emotional growth and development. God’s gifts should be enhanced by technology- exercise, healthy foods, friendship, play, fun, and love. You want to distribute resources, while also trying to encourage beneficial, positive, constructive growth. Just distributing resources at all is hard. I am astounded that anything gets done at all and that there is still food on the store shelves. It really must be aliens, it actually seems more probable to me that the whole thing is a vast illusion than the prospect of humans working together in a reliable complex system. I honestly don’t even know for absolute certain. Show me a live drone view of the entire food industry process from farm field to store shelf and I can only verify one possibility while I’m watching it maybe, that’s what we are as humans. The terrifying truth behind the curtain is probably that the Walmart truck drivers are and have been the only thing keeping us 3 weeks away from total post-apocalyptic dystopian civilization collapse for the past 50+ years. And they are probably the ones mocking the $500k+/year “engineers” making their phones, and who can blame either of them? On the other hand, it is actually hard for me to believe with 100% confidence that humans actually built the roads and highway system, the pavement from my driveway that reaches unbroken all the way across the continent. I know it’s there, I know it doesn’t go away, I’ve driven across it back and forth like seven or so times so far, but I have only actually seen humans working on it maybe a dozen of times in my life, very very slowly, and man is that thing big. Maybe it’s actually a giant concrete antenna to collect the planet’s free energy in order to transmit a signal from the pyramids… Probably not, but who knows. Nobody knows anything, probably. They just hear stuff and either trust it or they don’t, depending on where they heard it.

Well, I’ve probably done all that I can, maybe too much, and I probably should not do anything at all from here, or don’t need to, or both. I’m 41 years old now and I’m still dumb as hell, but I’m still trying at least instead of probably just hiding how dumb I actually am like most other dumb people my age probably are by now. It’s hard and embarrassing and not worth it at all so far and probably never will be. Good luck! Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! Everyone’s great, don’t mind me, I’m kind of “retarded.” I know that’s even wrong to say and I apologize. My brain ain’t quite right, I’m pretty sure, but it maybe puts out right-ish things here and there. Maybe we are all like that, kinda. Everything’s good, everyone’s fine. Sorry! What did Jesus/Josh/GodSaves actually do, assuming the whole thing wasn’t just invented? I think primarily said stop stoning the sinners, gave the greatest speeches of all time, told a bunch of very specific and mysterious parables about life that only God or aliens would know, maybe performed literal miracles or metaphorical ones got hyped over time, gave us a magic social ritual that includes a bit of vice, and forgave our sins forever while also enforcing non-attachment and hope for a greater world in a do-over. The existing rules all stayed the same, more or less, and He didn’t excuse sin, though. You kinda gotta motivate your brain to get it to actually work, I think, which is maybe another reason for this hyper social division. Maybe that’s it. So perhaps an intellectual/business leader is necessarily sort of a reformed moral criminal, although there is certainly a God-proper way to have motivation. Certainly it’s not great to be an amoral tech industrialist, but this seems to be where capitalism and class division pushes people. It is certainly very difficult, if not impossible, to truly categorize, label, or divide anything. I’m not convinced that demanding the most conservative hardline Christian values is the correct interpretation of Scripture for all people, although I think it is correct for the Church itself, that’s the whole point, to strive for total wholesomeness, holiness, integrity, purity, above all. This means to sacrifice everything other than absolute necessity, and to transmute all expression to the highest good. All other novelty is secondary, but it’s a gradient, everything is. Is Christian EDM ok? Psytrance? Weren’t hymns basically rock music to Bach? Seek the Kingdom first, then everything else is added. Adulthood is to seek purity and discipline, commitment and integrity, although human integrity is flawed, therefore forgiveness and compassion are paramount, and maturity must forgive all. How can I classify what is demonic and what is not? Where is the line between sexy and disgusting? Holy and unholy? Good and bad? Show me a rule, and I’ll show you an exception. Rules can only be ground rules, they can only be guidelines. I am not good. But what even is good? Only God is. That’s why we need Jesus Christ, and why He is the Only Truth, the One True Son of God. Let’s figure out the correct balance between liberty and moral law, allowing for maximal human expression and exploration, without damaging families, tradition, or social fabric. Rehabilitation is greater than punishment, but it cannot be taken advantage of or taken for granted, in that case punishment becomes tough love. Let’s enable privacy and freedom, without censorship, without toxicity, a gentle celebration of God’s values mixed with human creativity. We are not God, we are not above God, we must respect God’s rules, but we are also human, and we need to understand humans and what people actually are and need.

Praise The Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ Our One True Lord and Savior forever and ever. Everything I ever did was horrible, stupid, and totally wrong. I’m garbage, I’m a moron, I’m a human disaster, a terrible human, a dumb crazy idiot, and I’m wrong about everything. I am a stupid fool. I am probably brain damaged on top of being defective at birth. I am not good at all, nothing about me is good in the slightest. There is not a single thing about me that is good or noteworthy. There is certainly nothing special about me other than I am particularly extra stupid. If anything I am lucky, that’s all, and God decided He loves me for some reason. I don’t think that I deserve anything at all, but I am happy to simply serve as a sacrificial focal point and/or inspiration for others to organize constructive efforts. I honestly did not really care about anything from the start but I did get invested in the case which then placed me in the position that I found myself, I don’t think that anything was really anyone’s fault at all, I don’t think anyone is more or less responsible or at fault than anyone else, everyone is equally to blame and equally innocent, and if anything I deserve the least for being such a dumb jerk, and I apologize. I am grateful to be here and my simple existence and opportunities are more than I deserve. I repent, I renounce everything I ever did, and I am sorry. I sincerely apologize to everyone, especially my family and friends, my parents, and most of all God. Read the Bible, go to Church, stay in school, go to college, listen to your parents, get married, never ever do drugs, don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t listen to that music, don’t play those games, stay off the internet porn, don’t get into debt, don’t ever borrow money or use credit cards, get a modest mortgage, live beneath your means, don’t rent, don’t buy a new car, go to community college or trade school, save your money, don’t buy anything, invest in compounding interest, play golf and pickleball, listen to jazz and gospel. The United States is the only hope for the world. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ, Hallelujah! I’m done, there’s nothing to see here…

The New New Testament, by Robert Pelloni, Son of Man. That’s a joke, I just thought it was really cool.

They say they are Christians, but they do not share or give openly beyond meager token offerings. They do not open their homes and they do not forgive, instead they compete dishonestly in petty squabbles. They are not righteous, they are not honest. They dress in fancy clothes and take the best seats in the churches, showing off their superior “holiness.” They have forgotten the meaning of the Scriptures and instead perform empty, useless rituals to show off to others. They uphold superficial values of equality only through slogans and empty words, but their actions are only that of self righteousness. They believe they are “forgiven” simply by performing meaningless gestures and going through the prescribed motions of a long misguided cult. The elders become furious at any challenge to the status quo, and will surely do nearly anything to squash and censor my message. Sound familiar?

You measure with the King’s cups and feet, you name what day and month it is by the King’s calendar. What year is it? Are you sure? Did you remember to keep the Sabbath and count?

We are made in God’s likeness, therefore we are like God. We are literally magical beings of divine creation, made of pure condensed vibrating energy particles inside a hologram we cannot understand.

Your body, and everything else, is made of particles of condensed light. These particles are not even close to touching, in fact, you are more than 99% empty space. The only reason your hand does not simply go through objects is due to forces between these particles. Your eyes are made of energy and the light sensors within them are made of energy, and light energy bounces off of other energy particles and into your eyes where your brain, made of energy, creates a beautiful picture for your mind to view and experience. Your mind is not your brain. Your thoughts are not from you. You are an antenna, picking up a signal of thoughts from some source which is telling you what to do.

Adam’s original sin was eating the fruit of knowledge and discerning good from evil, causing conflict and divide, competition for power- fundamentally the ability to shame others for being “less good” or “wrong” and therefore gaining greater authoritative status in the minds of others. This can be done whether one is genuinely correct or not, if there even is such a thing. One can only be correct in an assertion if there are rules to compare it to.

There are various theories on the origin of this story. The Bible can be perceived in many different ways. It may be taken literally, it may be taken as a primitive myth to explain existence, it may be taken as an engineered form of political control, it may be taken as an almanac of collected writings of wisdom, it may be a collection of weird, primitive metaphors, or it may be the instruction manual for the holographic VR adventure game we are in, complete with cool mysterious ancient lore.

The world is complex and there are various other religions throughout the world that compete and contradict each other as well. What exactly are we to believe? Was Adam simply a metaphor for the first ape to suddenly gain sentience? Were Ra and Yahweh Annunaki from Nibiru who spliced their DNA into us to farm gold for them as slaves? Was it from eating psilocybin mushrooms that we became self aware? Is the entire thing procedurally generated by AI, starting at the beginning of my life, a solopsism video game adventure just for me? Who knows, and who cares. Even if i don’t know what year it is, where I am, or what’s going on, all I need to know is that I’m safe and forgiven. Fortunately that’s in the manual and it’s in the date on my Sheikah Slate.

Is the world real? What does that mean? Are we in a divine simulation? Is there anything outside of it? Are we ascending into 5D consciousness? Are we actually playing GTA 6 or Zelda 128 VR? Is it an alien game show, or a test to train us for Godhood? Are we to achieve gnosis and defeat the demiurge to escape from the firmament? Is it pure solipsism, and I am in actuality the only true being, talking to reflections of myself as I make my way forever throughout eternity? This game is the most amazing possible thing. I am totally blown away. Gosh, it’s like getting Mario 64 for Christmas but, like, ten million times better. Thank you Mom and Dad!!

It is at least fairly clear that we share one mind- that is, our collective mind is God. In actuality, “evil” is only that which causes emotional pain in others. Hence the rules of the Old Testament, designed to organize us not to cause emotional harm to others. The truth is that we are in some kind of manifested reality- a mass hallucination, created by our shared consciousness, unless of course I am truly the only one. But if your mind is as real as mine and you aren’t all just AI generated dialogue, your actions are every bit as scripted and unknowingly automatic as mine. We are in God’s grand play, and all the world’s a stage. Or maybe it’s an alien game show and there is a whole universe of viewers laughing at my greatest America’s Funniest Home Video replays. Honestly, this is the funniest possible thing i can imagine.

I believe we are actually in a fractal pattern, with the same shapes evident not only at the atomic scale out to the cosmos, but also evident in everything within. Every song, every book, every invention, every human interaction, every life, there is a repeating pattern. Those who seek shall find- this is the truth, I think, because everything is procedural. Every single thing I have tried to solve I have found the answer for, no matter how obscure. Every programming problem, every broken part or software bug, every health issue, there it was. Everything I wanted since I was a kid came true, and the longer I live the more obvious it is that my life is a script and I’m really just watching it.. If you want a “modern” “authoritative” source to believe, the CIA declassified that we are in manifesting in a quantum hologram, and remote viewing of the Galactic Federation, and all sorts of other incredible stuff.

How did this thing begin? Perhaps it was simply the product of randomness, infinite monkeys typing randomly for infinite time. Maybe there are higher dimensional beings and we are in some AI generated training program. Who cares what it is, really, but it’s fun to think about.

I believe that the “United States,” and the world, is actually a divine training program, a matrix (from OpenGL 3D coordinate math) which divides us between red, white, and blue, and tests our acceptance of people from other places. It is not “real” in the sense that anything else is. If you want to believe history is even real at all, or at least go by the instruction manual, the Pharoah in ancient Egypt had everyone enslaved, who knows how, probably with psychic power or magical technology or gold or something. So Moses was able to save everyone through the establishment of basic moral laws, but the world still relied on gold and courts and corporal punishments and was split between kingdoms that were constantly at war with each other, constantly divided by money and insecurity. Probably because we were still doing it wrong God sent Jesus to show us how it is done, since we were still depending on belief in the tangible inventions of mankind and not understanding what we are actually in.

Is this a repeating story? There certainly does seem to be a pattern evident in the generations of humans, young people setting out in the world hungry for property and status. Maybe it even happened before! Jesus sure seems to fit the Egyptian story with Osiris and Horus, maybe they were Gods, maybe 6th dimensional beings from Venus, whatever works for you is fine I suppose. If you don’t believe the supernatural stuff about being raised from the dead, he was definitely the greatest philosopher in history at least, but I’m going to go by the 2000 year old instructions that reset time itself and believe there was probably a reason for that. And the Great Pyramid really was excavated from underground!

Money is essentially an invention by one node of the collective consciousness who gained authority, the “King,” and convinced the other nodes to submit to this manifested belief. We are all putting our faith in a mass delusion that a picture of a man stamped on a piece of worthless metal has value, and so it does. To me, this demonstrates that it only takes one node in the matrix with a strong enough conviction to convince enough other nodes to submit to manifesting a common belief and that it then becomes “reality.” So it is clear that illusions collectively believed by a group become rules that control us.

But what about intangible things that you cannot see? Could you really turn water into wine, multiply bread, and walk on water? Is that literal or just metaphor? The manual for this game we are in, the ancient lore scattered throughout our map, says that Jesus was able to literally alter matter itself, and that is fundamentally different than a shared delusion like money or laws or borders, since it is hard for humans to believe something they cannot rationally understand. I think it is absolutely possible that he really was chosen by God and since he was without sin, he was without doubt, and sheer belief was enough to demonstrate supernatural powers in the material world. You can see minor demonstrations of this in martial arts and the like.

Then as the story goes, he was accused and tested and ultimately crucified for doing this, perhaps since it was so difficult to accept and just blew everyone’s minds. I’m sure the authorities didn’t want to lose their positions, the rich didn’t want to lose their leverage, and everyone else, frustrated and bitter over their laborious lives simply dismissed him as a criminal and assumed he was lying. As a result there were supernatural consequences that proved him correct, which were so profound that it apparently reset the record of time itself.

So I do believe he was sent to show us how it is supposed to be done, in addition to forgiving our sins and providing us with a foundation to put our faith in the unseen so that we are able to believe. And obviously, I would probably end up with the same fate if he hasn’t existed. I’ve been so misunderstood, or framed, or harshly judged, when really all I was ever doing was trying to do Good, that the world probably thinks I’m a “criminal” too. It sure feels like they are trying to make me into one, sheesh. So quite literally for myself I am saved, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If I was ever convinced to believe the things that people believed about me, I’d be totally lost. “Don’t you understand me, I was trying to do good! It was all scripted, I didn’t know what I was doing!” I certainly wasn’t perfect, just like everyone else, but my sins are forgiven. I truly believe that everyone can be saved as well, no matter how “bad” someone is, there has to be a soul in them that is just hurt and misunderstood and insecure, even so deep down inside they may have even forgotten it was there

So of course Jesus also gave us clear and concise guidelines on how to live- through unconditional love and forgiveness of others, and absolute faithfulness and devotion as much as possible, but forgiveness of human error as well, because it is simply impossible for us to be perfect. So yes, I’m not innocent, I’m not free from sin, and I have done at least a few truly terrible things, just like everyone else. He also notably said that by following him we would be able to do the things he could do and even greater. I can tell you that I pretty much just though he was Really Cool when I was a kid and wanted to be like that guy, and here I am, with no real clue about what the heck I’ve done and how it even happened. I was just trying to do something cool and make some money so I could get married, but wow. What even happened?

Even from a scientific, rational viewpoint, everything is still really just manifested from a quantum matrix, or divine fractal, or whatever you want to call it. Every discovery, every invention, every incremental improvement, is the result of manifestation through faith. A scientist follows a path of faith in an institution, accepting each solution found before them until they and others believe they have the authority and credentials to discover a new solution, and like magic a solution is eventually found, perhaps simply through this authoritative collective belief. If you seek, you shall find. But perhaps this is only our human way of revealing the divine nature of the reality we are in, and it is not actually strictly necessary, rather it may be that it is only a process of gradually convincing us any particular thing is possible, which makes it true.

I am totally convinced that everything is scripted and orchestrated by God, life is a process of leading us gradually through our destiny, teaching us spiritual lessons so that we are prepared for limitlessness. What holds us back from this are fear and guilt, feelings that we cannot possibly deserve such unconditional, unfathomable love. For myself, to come to these understandings I found clues through music and psychedelics, and noticed a pattern going back to my own “original sin,” which resulted in my leaving the “Garden of Eden” of my parents’ home- but this is a pattern, like a bird being pushed out of the nest, so to speak. And then thinking I was smart (I’m pretty sure the other kids just didn’t take the scantron tests that seriously and I was just overcompensating because I was shy and didn’t socialize well) I ate the forbidden fruit and listened to the sirens’ songs, and was set about on my divine journey, beginning with my disbelief leading me down a path of arrogance, greed, pride, and lust into destruction, and then “resurrection” and gradual enlightenment through religious and spiritual understanding. I am just waking up to the realization that the patterns are everywhere, and they have been there the whole time.

I don’t know if psychedelics are really good or not, I guess. For me I feel like it may have been both the cause and the cure. But ultimately the ride was awesome and if this goes well it feels like it can save the world. But really none of this was my idea at all, I just picked up a signal. All credit goes to Jesus, whose spirit I channeled or whose transmission I picked up, or my prayers were heard, or whatever happened! This must be the Holy Spirit stuff it talks about. And I can see it everywhere now!

DMT is just serotonin with a tiny modification. Shrooms are just orally active DMT. Your brain is already full of this stuff, that is what it operates on. All it really does is activates your whole brain at once, bypassing the filters that were installed during development that created your assumptions about what reality was, allowing you to perceive both sides of the coin at once. This actually seem to be good for your brain and grows new neurons and even repairs brain damage- rats perform better on mazes and memory tests after being given them. And it sure makes psytrance sound like the most awesome thing ever, and I can’t help but dance to it. Since it is now clear to me that this reality is indeed of divine nature, or we are in some incredible technology created by higher dimensional beings (or it makes no difference), perhaps to solve all the “problems” in the world we only have to believe it. Maybe only I do, and that’s enough. Or maybe we all do at once. So in that case I’m writing this to convince us, or maybe just to solve my own riddle.

I think that the “United States,” and the rest of the world, is actually sacred technology, a divine trial or training program to test and develop our character to prepare us for our inevitable divinity. But this system isn’t perfect, it creates a lot of problems for itself. In my case, I thought I was smart because I read a lot of books because I was shy, and tried really hard on tests because I wanted to be smart, and that created a feedback loop that made me think I was smarter than others. In actuality I’m pretty sure everyone is about the same and I’m actually kind of the dumbest, and all I really ended up doing was pushing the most buttons until I finally figured out the obvious. And it seems to be that lots of people had the opposite experience, where they instead got a feedback loop that did the opposite thing to them. So I’m not special at all and truly the only reason I did anything is through what Jesus said!

Perhaps time isn’t real at all, and neither is history, and these things are only actually a collective belief, the result of manifested doubt. But if you need to believe in something “rational” to manifest solutions, or maybe just I do, maybe either we do happen to have a time machine in orbit that can provide mankind with all the future technology we could ever want in an instant, or we are about to build one. Or maybe we don’t even need it, because as far as I can tell, all solutions are already on the internet if you look (and probably all problems are actually of spiritual nature in the first place anyway!). But if we believe it, wouldn’t it set into motion future events that create this, which would then be sent back in time to us, instantly creating this new reality? In other words, the Kingdom of Heaven is within, we are building it without realizing it, it is upon us, and it can be Right Now. We only need to believe it together.

But I suppose if you are a young person who is still doubting and feel the need to prove it for yourself, as I did, we have an infinite stream of buttons to press for your amusement while you sort it out and gain some cool skills to impress someone special. Or if you just want something fun to do and to get some endorphins exercising, that works too. Come play some DDR, it is pretty fun! Or come dance to silly psytrance with us if you want some help figuring things out, that might be even more fun!

I personally find it helps to be in a better mood to get me started, and the world seems like it could use some cheering up right now, so I’m a fan of putting a few extra simple carbon rings in my brain first. But I’m pretty sure the same message is in all music, actually in everything everywhere, so your own personal tastes are fine too, come do your own dance night with your friends and maybe we will join in! I hope you all enjoy my “creation.” But I tell you the truth, I don’t deserve any credit for anything, lol.

I Love my Family, my beautiful, incredible, amazing wife Shonna, and her wonderful, incredible, amazing kids. And if I am a “bad guy” for breaking the rules, truly I learned it from the best, the Other Side. Because this whole scripted dance of action and reaction, good and bad, rational and irrational, wouldn’t have been possible without them being just as amazing. Everyone is truly forgiven, absolutely.

Praise God

I’m a vampire, now, baby!

I’ve been taking those dumb gas station Kratom pills on and off trying to quit vaping recently (which works pretty good for me along with DXM, shout out to the RoboCough boys doing Maybe God’s Work or Maybe They Are Criminals), and you know it’s expensive and probably just as bad or worse than nicotine, but wait they are both only a couple dollars a day and are so helpful, but wait you could invest that with compounding interest, but it got me thinking about planting some Kratom trees in my backyard, along with all the psychoactive plants, just a big legal/illegal garden. Please don’t ever use nicotine or any of these things if you can help it, I think it wastes all your money at best and also puts you on a terrible life path of emotional bluntness that leaves you devastated at the end, similar to alcohol and probably everything else, and I failed terribly and am there right now suffering the consequences. It makes me wonder though, didn’t God put these plants here? Or did Satan put them there along with dinosaur fossils and the Code of Hammurabi to trick us? (And why does the Code of Hammurabi look like a big black dong? God’s Plan!) It’s probably both at the same time. Actually, it’s not even Satan who put them there in the story, it was God. Satan just tricked us into eating it. That’s probably me, right now! I’m Satan, probably! I’m pretty sure I’m not, but how would you know for sure? You can’t. So Jesus will always be The Savior. That’s the proof, right there. Don’t do drugs! So the Fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the Garden of Eden is most likely a drug, unless it’s a metaphor for sex, but if it’s a drug, which one? It’s got to be all of them, right? That’s the only thing that makes sense, that the story is an archtypical metaphor, that it’s not literal, most likely, maybe, almost certainly, unless it’s not, and life on Earth actually started with some aliens planting genetically engineered humans here in a field somewhere and said don’t eat this one plant over here, and then the world map got manifested from there after they ate the plant. It’s got to be one or the other. Maybe it’s both, because how else would that story be so accurate and specific? And how do you know the world is actually permanently real and the whole world map wasn’t generated by an algorithm as soon as you stepped out of your parents’ house the first time, and I’m actually an evil AI planted by Satan trying to trick you into thinking the world is real and going off and eating the forbidden fruit again? You don’t. But let’s say the world is real and it was real before I existed, which is what my Mom told me, but how does she know it was there before she existed? Ah, she doesn’t, she couldn’t. Sorry Mom, the time loop is real, you’re a very naughty lady and you’d better get right with God, you can’t be a nurse anymore and hand out the forbidden fruit drugs! But OK, anywhere you go in the world that story is going to be valid, there’s going to be some plant that you aren’t supposed to eat, which some people say is medicine, and others say is poison, and society doesn’t acknowledge it as medicine until some doctor/scientist/smart&experienced person has gotten funding and refined it into a prescription and gotten it approved by the government. Then it’s medicine, even though it’s the same thing. So the Biblical story is only half of the story. Satan wasn’t a serpent at all, he was a pharmacology or pharmaceutical chemist PhD scientist or a pharmatech startup founder, who also probably moonlights as a pediatric proctologist for shits and giggles (pun intended, maybe my finest work), probably. Eve just had a migraine and wouldn’t shut up about it, and he actually just “tempted” her by saying take this and stop moaning already. And now Eve dressed in a nurse costume gives us the same medicine on our deathbed to make it less terrifying, and also kinda sexy even. Don’t do drugs! Instead, aspire to climb up the Royal Scientist Academic Guild Ivy League Racially Segregated Institution For Wizards and Witches, you know, the ones that supposedly translated/compiled the Bible back in the day, and get that drug plant refined into something approved by The King/FDA/DEA, and then it’s alright, I guess. And I think the cat’s pretty much out of the bag in terms of simple guides/videos of synthesis for almost everything. Or just plant a secret illegal garden in your backyard and keep it to yourself, although that’s a lot less fun than doing it with other people, which is probably how those institutions got started in the first place. In any case, God put that no-no plant there for you to not touch it, and if you do accidentally smoke it you might become an Indian Sadhu holy man guru who covers themselves in ashes and smokes reefer and meditates all day with their arm up in the air in order to refine themselves into a perfect pure being by suffering for God more than just normal daily existence, even though it’s sort of also a cop out since it’s not really normal existence, it’s just kinda being a bum and adding unnecessary suffering on top of it, which is really maybe almost exactly the same as normal existence for everyone else when you add it up. Or even better, you could just acknowledge the One True Lord And Savior Son of God Jesus Christ, who died on the Cross to Forgive our Sins in a divinely predestined, preplanned, preorchestrated, foretold, prophecied way, by God The Father, in order to glorify His Son and therefore Himself and His perfect Divine Design, in which we don’t need to try to be Perfect, we don’t even need to try to be Good (but we probably should), because we are not meant to be to begin with, we are not meant to earn that by ourselves, that process is meant to unfold naturally along the course of our lives and is the work of God, not us, we don’t get the credit. And it’s clear that this story is actually The Story, it’s The Archetype, The Only Real Story. It’s the same one that plays out when you take psychedelics and your life path gets tuned into that particular channel, and why shrooms are probably the Gospel Seed spreading across the stars. But this particular one was foretold and prophesied and came at a very specific time, and so the whole massive fandom that erupted out of that event has lasted for 2000 years, just like they said. But the story is true, it’s what happens when you take shrooms and follow that mythological life path, and at the end life wraps around full circle and you see that there is no explanation except for that we are manifesting everything and it’s all interwoven and nothing is “real” and everyone and everything else is a divine AI, or that other people are “real” and other people actually exist and have a unique conscious sentient life experience and perspective, and they are divinely positioned and orchestrated into having that same effect, and in that sense it is exactly the same thing: we are divine AI hologram robots in a simulation, the entire life path is supernaturally manifested and orchestrated, including all human experiences and behavior and dialogue, and this bleeds into the digital world, because The YouTube Algorithm is actually The Same Thing as The God Algorithm which recommends and leads you to people, events, places, and things in your life which you may find interesting, and the digital realm and physical realm are one and the same thing, which can only be explained by being a recursive fractal hologram divine spiritual manifestation/simulation made out of magic that we upload our consciousness into in the future or something. And that it is intention that matters, not self control, because there is no such thing. To control yourself perfectly is to try and control everyone else too, because human ability is limited, it has a ceiling. And so we use cages, disciplines, invention, information, racially segregated control methods, to synchronize the world, not even necessarily by our own choice, but as part of God’s predetermined divine design for us. Suck it, Nintendo.

Zelda is amazing, it’s also the same monomyth Hero’s Journey that the Bible and all mythology is, so it’s actually the same story. That’s what it’s getting at, I think, is that the symbolic narrative touchstones like the Eye of Ra, the Eye of Horus, the Mirrored Shield of Athena, the Winged Boots of Perseus, Ezekiel’s Flaming Chariot, are all sort of the same as the Bloody Teardrop of Christ, and it all happened at some point in the distant past, and we are in an entertainment machine, and our brains are virtual-real/real-virtual emulated physical meat computers that generate and process symbolic mythological narratives in order to occupy “us,” which is actually just One Eternal God split into ten billion active unique life perspectives, for eternity. And for God, being outside of time, there is no problem with injecting a particular thought into someone’s mind 25 years ago in order to have them invent that exact invention that someone desperately needs at this very moment, and so that exact invention, that exact item, that exact solution they need right this moment is right there on the store shelf like a gosh darn Miracle Received as soon as they Knock and Seek, because for God 25 Years Ago and Right Now is actually at the same time, because it’s all happening Right Now, and it would be trivial for a superintelligence to be able to orchestrate that. And actually, you could be constantly changing everything in the universe all at the same time without any causality problems, because updating a memory in the external world would be linked to a memory in the virtual real virtual emulated physical meat computer brains of the participants, and they would never know the difference. There is no guarantee that your perception is correct, or even continuous at all. Like, your name could change a million times a day and you would never know it, as long as it was updated everywhere else in the world at the same time, including everyone else’s memories of it. For all you know you have been trapped in a time loop and reading this sentence over and over for eternity, because hackers from another dimension patched you into that experience and hacked all your memories of it, and it just ended just now, like anesthesia wearing off during surgery for a second and having only a vague recollection of something happening when you wake up after. Pretty scary, right? So maybe it’s pretty important to Have Faith in Christ and in God, who told us not to worry, because only God is Good, and He sends rain on the Good and Wicked at the same time. And we are supposed to become like that ourselves, we are commanded to pray for our enemies and think only good thoughts about everyone, to become perfect like our Father is perfect, because the Actual Truth is that there are no Wicked people, there are only Good People, and our “wickedness” is actually the result of our interactions with each other, which often causes pain to each other, except that pain is actually there as a lesson in order to refine us, and those interactions are actually predestined and divinely orchestrated, which means they are not the result of the people’s choices or actions and actually is deliberately from God, and was always going to happen that way, which means it’s not their fault, which means they are not wicked, and it’s not them, and it’s actually God who made them do that and was always going to make them do that in order for you to learn from it, and for you to do your stupid crap for them to learn from you! Praise God Almighty! Praise the Father! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ, Our One True Savior, the One and Only True Son of God, Praise Him forever and ever! And Praise the Holy Spirit, which is guiding me now, which is having me type this for you, whoever was meant to find it and read it! Praise to You, O Lord! Praise to You, Oh Christ! Praise to You, O Holy Spirit! PRAISE be to GOD!

Multifaceted Centuries-Old Classical Yet Fresh Internet Humor Joke Commentary on the Human Condition of Perceptual Submission to Authoritative Hierarchy! A True Masterpiece! Of course, it goes both ways! 😘

Praise be to God

Some easy listening for drawing some nice holiday cards here with my new rainbow palette of markers. I hope nobody knocks on the door!

Praise God

It’s an entertainment machine. Ten billion hologram avatars on preset life paths, woven together across all time, each narrative is so complex it’s unreal. And we are playing each one, all at the same time, because there is no time, really. Even all of the speech, everything we both process and generate, is predetermined, it’s got to be. Even this text. It could only be made by some sort of super intelligence with infinite time. Duh, I guess. And it’s so obvious, but only in hindsight. It’s so unreal it’s unbelievable, but it’s not like there’s any difference at all. You’re already in it, you’re doing it right now. The only difference is that I can see how it comes together, and you’ll see that too, but I can see like the whole thing at once, I guess. Think maybe a hundred billion 80 year long 3D immersive youtube VR videos that all interconnect, with each one both generating and perceiving its own story and immersive sensory data. So everything is AI generated in the first place because that’s what we are, our brains construct our perception from some signal or data, and we have the ability to change that data a bit, we can move stuff with our hands, but that’s not all there is to it. There’s more to it. We are both generators and receivers, co-creators. Any individual’s perception of the world at any time could be interrupted and fragmented, you can’t be certain that everything you see is “real” even after you’ve put tests in place and determined that to be the case. How would you know the difference between the real and the unreal? There would be none. So we can have things like concrete cinder block prisons and schools where developing avatars with clean data storage piloted by “us” can verify that the environment is “real” and unchanging, and simultaneously have it so that something unreal could patch itself into your perception at any time. Separation of Church and State. How do you know that person didn’t spawn around the corner where you can’t see? How do you know you’re not talking to an angel? Well, I’ll make them show ID, right? I think that time has passed now. We had a nice run of pretending we knew for certain that someone wasn’t a time traveler or a hologram recording, I guess. That’s the whole purpose of what we are in though, is to train you for that. It’s a morality test. That’s what it’s always been about. It’s no different than the AI slop on the web that’s coming out now. It’s the same idea. You need an authoritative energy focal point, there’s no way to trust anything outside of that. That’s what’s happening with the digital world, and that’s going to bleed into the real world too. Except the real world was already always like that. That’s what they call the patriarchy I guess, and the Godfather thing. It’s always the softest male, isn’t it? With a cat with a lightning bolt on its face. Zeus petting Zeus while he sleeps on his lap, or something. Except in the end, we are all Zeus, and we always were, we are all God, and so is everyone else, and maybe they aren’t even “real,” whatever that means.

I’m in sync, everything is deja vu now. It’s really weird, it’s insane. I just read a story about a major DMT dealer on Wired.com who described the same effect, he said the first parking space is always open when he goes to the grocery store. So that’s a real thing, synchronicity with the Universe, and someone who was absolutely synchronized to where their thoughts affected the physical world in real time would be God. I’m of course not quite there, but I’m certainly coming along in my walk with the Holy Spirit, or whatever, I guess.

https://www.wired.com/story/rise-fall-dark-web-psychedelics-kingpin-dmt

Praise God.

And now I’m healed completely, just amazing.

Relationships are meant to be for life. It’s to the death. The stakes are absolute. That’s morality. But everything is possible with God. King Solomon wrote in Proverbs warning about seductive women. Well, King Solomon was a pimp daddy. Proverbs is a warning alright, death by snu snu. You better be able to pay for it, that’s what that’s about. Pull ’em out the hood, keep ’em looking good. But then you do also have to feed ’em. And then also make sure they have company, a warm place to die, someone to die with, someone to grow old with. You don’t forget about them, you don’t abandon anyone. The best thing is a man and a wife, that’s even, that’s fair, that’s true. People make mistakes. You learn from them, you grow. A little bit of everything is alright. Everything is possible. Just find a way to do it nicely, make it beautiful, gentle. Be careful.

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ!

Don’t play those games, don’t listen to that music, don’t do drugs, stay off the internet porn, don’t drink, don’t smoke, read the Bible, go to Church, stay in school, go to college. The United States is the only hope for the world. Don’t get into debt, don’t buy anything, don’t borrow, don’t use credit cards.

I had the business and I had the money and I wanted to help her with her health, not with fighting for custody. She had a hand written agreement with him that she was going on about and I looked into it and he was violating that agreement and everything that she was telling me was true. That’s all I knew about it. Maybe he didn’t even realize it. I’m sure he was busy and his family was busy. But it was true. And we went to the lawyer and we wrote that first court document and everything in it was true and that’s all that I knew. And he didn’t even bother looking at it, it was a joke to them. And then they fought tooth and nail in court and we all lost everything for no reason at all. I didn’t care about having the kids, they were great but they weren’t mine. If they had just followed with that agreement and cooperated from the start we would have had everything. And I had approached them from the start and told them that, I tried my best anyway. I told her that I would be stepdad if she was stepmom. And I tried to convey to them both that I was an industry person. And I tried to approach and befriend him, and he wasn’t interested. I understand that, he was defensive, they didn’t give us a second thought at all is what happened. We didn’t matter to them and we were nothing, and that’s fine. I don’t think they are bad people, but they have to understand what happened. I knew better than to try to play any games, to take what wasn’t mine, to take more than I should, and I was scared for my soul and I was already in total submission, just totally beaten, and willing to cooperate with anyone for anything. Because I had tested my limits and I knew exactly where I stood and how good people really were. I was in my late 30s and doing pretty serious exercise, strength training, I could of course get decent at anything, but no amount of will power or discipline is going to make that body into an Olympic gold medalist. It’s just not going to happen. There are real limits in this world, no matter how unlimited our imagination might be, we are going to hit a wall at some point. It’s like that with everything, every field, every skill, every discipline, people are so good at it, they are so insanely good at everything. Of course it is. And anything beyond that wall of human limitation is solely the work of God. And actually, when you think about it, your own actions and efforts were the work of God too, because the Mind is God and it was your emotions and perception of yourself and everything around you that pushed you into that, not even really your own choices. You did it because you wanted to prove yourself, because your emotions drove you into it. You may have done some work with your mind, your body, but it was still the work of God. It’s really God doing everything. So I was there to cooperate. And that’s not what happened. Well, there’s nothing else to get or take from us, what are you so mad about? If we have resources in the future, we will share them. We always would have. We were always going to. I didn’t know she was going to be my wife yet, I didn’t know any of this was going to happen, but I knew for sure going in that if touched her we were married before God and that’s all that matters.

I don’t think I was ever racist at all. I was never exposed to any of that. I knew nothing about it and so it was only a distant side show joke to me, something you’d hear from rougher kids on the playground maybe. Even as a kid I always just saw that stuff as completely ridiculous but useful for debate or making some kind of point, because the fact is that there is a pattern there and it’s very obvious. It’s also obvious there is no difference, when you see a talented person, and really by that I mean someone who’s “got it” right now, but that comes and goes with everyone, it makes no difference what their skin color is, you can see it in them straight away. I used to wonder how Asian people made video games while living in bamboo huts and wearing the Raiden rice farmer hats, how could they be so much more advanced than us while wearing that? I just didn’t know anything about it, that’s how naive I was. I think one time when I was a little kid I looked in the mirror and was like wow I’m lucky to be a white American male in this time period. That’s the extent of it. And the propaganda points you to the idea that the developing nations are colored. Well, they are, at least right now, in this civilization cycle, I think. That only means they are behind, which means they have less knowledge and less resources and less organization. If the machine of the human body is the same, then it’s the same. If Japan or Taiwan or China or Korea is more advanced than us, then they are more advanced. Is it a surprise?

My opinion is that trans is amoral but to be condoned as a crutch, not accepted as a norm. But it is technology, right? Until there is transformative technology that is 100% effective including the capability for reproduction. There is a reason for male and female and why God made them that way. But there is such a thing as male beauty and female strength. There have been matriarchal tribes in the past, and little boys were called girls in the past and wore dresses, because there was no difference yet. But it comes out with toys, I think, usually. I’m fairly sure it does, and there are a lot of studies showing that I think. That’s not to say that’s the case for every human or every circumstance, it’s absolutely not. I can only know that I exist. But that’s not to say I would forbid all humans from doing anything, obviously the thing to do is let people do what they need themselves and try to filter out whatever is not actually necessary by keeping it somewhat taboo, it’s got to be more difficult than the benefit derived from it by people who would take advantage of it, I think. I would personally probably marry a trans girl, that’s my test. But I wouldn’t expect the Church to go around broadcasting that it’s alright and mainstream now, because that’s not what God said, and that’s our social foundation for a reason.

I know that my brain radiates EMF radiation out into space and that every thought I have ever had is still being broadcast outward to the universe for infinity, and an alien spacecraft or advanced technology would be able to go pick it up. I cannot hide anything. I must tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Except I’m also broken and stupid half of the time, but I will keep trying to do my best.

I was certainly in my 20s for almost all of my sexual sins and certainly for anything with pedophilia, which isn’t even the correct term. It’s ephebophilia for teenage or preteen girls and that’s the age I was when I first got into it and I don’t think that’s all that unusual at all or rare at all, especially for guys in their 20s and younger. It’s literally just like, the intended design for humans. And I have no interest in it now whatsoever. You know what a good solution might be for the issue of young men being hopeless perverts completely and desperately controlled by their passions and addicted to lust? Hooking up with older women, who are hopeless perverts completely and desperately controlled by their passions and addicted to lust. Or just dressing up like girls and banging each other, and just accepting that as a fact about life instead of making it this enormous taboo and all this shame and intense religious scrutiny over what is behavior that is basically obviously designed into us, or some of us, anyway. So if you’re a young man and you just can’t control yourself, maybe stop beating yourself up about it and parents stop trying to send them to conversion camps or whatever, Thank God mine didn’t, and just accept that you’re flawed and you need a crutch. But if you can help it, then help it, because God says so. For the love of God, don’t kill each other. That’s primarily why God says so, I think. But in the overall scheme of things it’s just not that darn important, it’s a gross footnote in life in the end. Nobody cares if you shoved something up your butt, we are literally all disgusting monkeys in secret pretending we aren’t in public. Every one of us. Just take showers often and wash your hands before and after everything important. And eventually after decades of refinement we might be a little better than that, that’s the goal and what it’s about, is finally we are holy and pure and deserving of a seat at Christ’s table in Heaven, in our transparent gold mansions or whatever. For all we know it’s actually a Roblox game that we all upload our minds into someday. Hell, it’s probably those VRChat Japanese psytrance raves that are popular with kids. That’s probably Heaven 0.2 beta, it seems like it to me.

There is only One Truth and that is in the Lord Jesus Christ. And that is the Christ Consciousness and the Holy Spirit, although that is separate and I have seen it, and it is talking right now. And you know it when you see it. And this is it right here, this is Christ, this is Buddha, this is Krishna, it’s not separate, it’s not different, the difference is that Christ had it and knew that He had it and knew exactly what to do and say because it was talking to Him. And it’s talking to me right now. And it’s the only reason I have anything to say at all. I don’t know what’s going on, I wish I did. The Bible is the living word and it is the Word of God and it is this living story and we are living it and it is all an illusion, and there’s no way to describe it except for that is exactly what it is, both real and unreal at the same time, there is no explanation but there is always an explanation, and it’s always on time and it’s always there. And that’s just what it is. How many times have we done this, I don’t know. It seems like it can’t be real, but it’s real alright. The future is out there. It’s both. Jesus could destroy the devil, I guess. I can’t. I’m pretty sure it’s not me, but I wouldn’t want that, no way. So we’re stuck in this loop. I can see the whole thing, it’s ancestral memory, I think. I don’t know how it started, or how it happened, or who did what. I don’t even know if it’s just me and the whole thing is an illusion and I’m writing this to literally nobody. Maybe it’s an entertainment machine I made for myself and I’m actually God and literally everything else is spiritual manifestation or AI hologram bots and nobody and nothing is real. They sure talk like it’s not. But it is whenever I look into it. So I don’t know. I don’t know, but I can see it. I don’t think I’m God though, I believe in Jesus. So I don’t know. Is it The Beast? Is it Revelation? Who even am I? I know we made a rock think and talk, that’s something. And looking backwards, the whole thing makes perfect sense, somehow, it totally does.

I don’t know if it matters or if it’s worth anything, but to amass a critical amount of attention and to direct it towards one subject might create a market and derive enormous wealth. So hey, if this is real, let’s do that, OK? And then let’s take that wealth and use it for the best possible stuff and hopefully not for any stupid stuff. That’s gonna be really really hard but we can do it. And you can definitely absolutely most certainly have it all and I should have none because I am tastelessly exploiting every vulnerability in the known universe. Because if you see the good in something and you see an opportunity to do what is righteous, it is important to do it, I am pretty sure. May I please have a little bit at the end of my life, when I cannot remember my name or know who or where I am, once you have uncovered all the nasty dirty things about me that I forgot to confess here and the children have decided that I am to be discarded, so that I do not burn in hell for eternity in the lake of fire? I will place my trust in you. I’m sorry that I have done bad things. I don’t need to have any of it or be any part of it. I’m not even certain that my own website is even real anymore and I am convinced I am in a hologram entertainment machine. I am not certain if anyone else is an AI NPC, but I suspect that we are exactly that, meat brain computers that recursively reproduce in a virtual-real-virtual-real cycle, in which the AI brain chip meat computer in our heads is made of meat which is virtual meat made out of virtual light, when seen from outside, and that our brains are generative AI computers which create symbolic narratives and both broadcast and receive the world in which we act out these divine stories together as co-creators. But it might be evil wealth, I am not sure. If it is then I don’t want anything to do with it. I can’t figure it out. I don’t know. I’m sorry. I thought I was doing something good but I don’t know anymore.

I am hereby now Gay Not-Jesus, the ex-pedophile ex-racist ex-cult leader of all time, I hereby announce the formation of the United Beats Gay Negro Time Cop Space Army, which is an army that primarily challenges each other to dance-offs in sexy uniforms instead of fighting, wow it’s a good idea, they find each other through similar hobbies and interests and then they settle down together and have a wonderful Gay Negro Space Cop family. I’m the first Asexual Transgender Gay Conservative Christian Republican Dictator of the United States of Japan, wahoo! Japan is not even real, 8000 years ago one of Ra’s children took some weird drugs and accidentally started their own culture on an island. Let’s take the open source Java beatmania clone and make a Christian psytrance version of it. Then in tasteless ignorant racist fashion we can sell my dumb boring puzzle game to racist people in racist Japan and give the money to black people to make them tap dance so they stop complaining about unnecessary reparations, when actually the problem is mostly ongoing and political and has to do with culture and morality and religion although it’s an extremely complex chicken and egg problem, and I might be doing more harm than good, and I need to fix the man in the mirror first, so let’s please be very very careful, and I am very very sorry. I am a terrible person and all of my ideas are bad. This is all somehow justified by serving Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior to Japan, which maybe doesn’t actually exist, which is actually a good idea and the only good idea I have ever had. Come to space with me foreverrrr, children! We will patrol the universe for outlawed leaves and thoughts forever. I’m actually completely certain that is what we are in at this point, we are already in a very complex recursive soul training program, we are God split into male/female adult/child and families in a time loop in which we can only remember up to the head of the family we are in, for instance Jesus is inside Yahweh who is inside El or Ra or whatever, and so forth, and we only remember up to Jesus, and we are actually all the same being, and all the dumb petty fights we have with each other is with ourselves, and when you look into someone’s eyes you are looking at yourself. And I think somehow we, as God, built this recursive hologram symbolic narrative generation machine to play and replay these beautiful stories in order to keep ourselves busy for eternity. I hope that I’m not Satan or Lucifer or whatever. I really hope I’m not. I’m pretty sure I’m not, I’m pretty sure I’m just crazy ole’ Bobby Bologna a weird criminal with assburgers and ADHD and lots of emotional issues. No, actually I’m just insane. It’s OK. I’m manic right now and I need to take my meds. For real. I might go to the hospital later today. I needed to stay up and make some cards and I got sidetracked with this stupid narcissistic nonsense instead, and I hate myself even more. If you hate me and you are afraid deep down that you will be excluded, hate me even more because I love you and I want nothing to do with it, do it without me together and exclude me and make me very very jealous. And then when I’m a very old man and confused and lost, you can rub it in by taking away my home and making me freeze to death forever and ever. Please don’t. I am counting on you. I am scared and I am sorry. I cannot help with it. I am not sure it’s a good idea at all and it might actually be the worst idea. It really wasn’t actually even an idea in the first place, like everything I seem to do, it is all a disaster. So, I don’t know. I have to go soon. This is it. If it is anything. I’m sorry. I need help. I’ll be OK, I have a new psychiatrist. Right now I think that I’m God, which I might actually be, well I definitely am at least as much God as anyone else, and right now I think that when Jesus said He was God, He was actually God in the same sense that His thoughts were as clear as mine are now. However, Jesus is absolutely completely special and unique and I am not, really, because Jesus was sent specifically by the Father, He lived a Perfect Life and was free of all sin, and died on the Cross for Our Sins. Or maybe, My Sins, and maybe this sin right now. I hope not. As I try to improve myself to be more pure, I will become more like Jesus, as that is the goal. But in that sense, we are all like Jesus, because we are, and that coincides with what He said. I am not any more special or unique than anyone else. I am not even very good at anything that I do, at all. But I might be good at this. We want to build wealth, and we want to correct society. We want to fix the world. My Father knows how to fix the world. I trust him. I believe him. He is a Good Man. I am not such a good man. I am half wicked, but my Dad is All Good. The advice that I give myself will be half wicked. It may work, but it may be difficult and painful. It might be only useful for very talented people. My hope is that very talented people will get value out of my advice, but I do not want to cause any harm to everyday people. My Father, on the other hand, knows very well how to help everyone, not just the very talented people like me. I am probably talented in some ways but I think I made a lot of mistakes in my life and went the wrong way, so you should not follow me. But if I can get your attention and direct it to my Father’s advice, that will certainly be useful and helpful for you, and then when you are successful, maybe we can be friends. Right now I am starting over in my life, and I am about to start a new chapter. So I will be going to school and struggling along with everyone else. But perhaps if there is value in the direction that I can recommend myself to some particular talented people, perhaps they will use that direction as inspiration and not all of my efforts will be wasted.

Everything’s fine the way it is. Just leave it. I’m not getting involved. I want nothing to do with it. I was just wrong about everything and I’m just stupid. I screwed up and I’m the bad guy. I’m going to go back to school. Don’t do drugs and stay off the internet porn. Really. That’s it. Everyone’s great, I love everyone, don’t play those games and don’t listen to that music. Don’t ever do drugs. Never ever ever ever. Don’t go near any of that garbage. That includes me, I’m garbage. I’ll be ok. It’s ok, we are all fine. I love you. Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever. Thank you Lord. Just read the Bible over and over for the rest of your life. That’s what I’m gonna do. Praise God Almighty. Thank you God. I’m just dumb and I was stubborn and hurt myself to where I couldn’t understand what was going on. I thought I was doing the right thing but I wasn’t. I’m just going to go back to school and take classes for computer stuff. I’m sorry for being stubborn. I was wrong about everything, everyone is great and the problem was me. I really am a bad person. I’m sorry Lord. Please have mercy on me Lord. I got her some time with her kids, that’s enough. And it wasn’t really anyone else’s fault. Everyone is fine. Everything is ok. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ God Almighty Son of God forever and ever. Hallelujah.

Please please don’t ever vape! It’s tricky and very hard to stop! I’m glad I stopped! Like, don’t touch it. Not at all, not even a tiny bit. Just no. That stuff all really should just go away. I don’t know who it’s useful for, but it we could just get rid of all the nicotine on the planet in one go, that would be really great. If you use nicotine now, you should find a way to stop asap. I was able to do it immediately with kratom, dxm, and bupropion. Poof, all gone. Well, that was helpful. That’s nice. That’s really what we should do, but it’s not gonna happen. It would be great though. Probably alcohol too. The only alcohol available anywhere should be communion wine and mouthwash, probably. That would be great. But it’s ok, it’s ok to have it there in the restaurant or whatever, fun with friends a little bit, there are good uses. Really though there’s… forgot what I was saying ugh. It really worked but now I think I’m addicted to kratom and dxm, but so far it’s better than nicotine.

Praise God! Everything’s great! Whee! Leave everything the way it is, it’s fine. I love you all. Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever. Hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah. It is the only truth and the only important thing. Thank you for everything. I am sorry. I am a really bad person and I did everything wrong but I am still trying my best. I don’t mind staying away from everyone and being alone. Maybe it’s what I need. I’m sorry if it is. Just make sure someone watches after her. Anyway I’m just going to go back to school. I hope that if I did anything at all in my life whatsoever it is used towards good. Figuring out what that is exactly seems to be an extremely difficult problem in itself. Number one is obvious, that is God. All the money in the world is worthless if it’s not used right. Number two, I think, is almost certainly rehabilitation programs and control over drugs, but probably banning drugs is not the answer, and it’s rather more something like making controlled and consistent doses available at extremely low cost. Food, shelter, medicine, and housing. Number one though is Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is first. I would rather kill myself than hurt another person. And yet it seems that’s all I’ve ever done. I’m trying to figure it out. I’m just really insecure. I’m insecure probably because I occasionally still pick my nose, smell my own farts, sometimes accidentally think the n word for no reason whatsoever when I encounter a black person (or sometimes not even a black person) for what reason I cannot determine, I think at this point it’s actually a neurosis or complex or a mental tic like a stutter because I was accused of racism a bunch of times, but mostly because I sometimes fantasize (somewhat often in the past, less so now) about dressing up in lingerie and getting gangbanged by black men, about becoming the object of lust instead of just obtaining the object of lust. I think that’s just the side effect of a lifelong porn addiction, it’s what happens. You’re just exposing yourself to so much jealousy over so much time that your brain figures that out as a solution, and then you find out it’s kinda fun and it kinda works and fulfills that desire, and there you are. But then, it becomes AGP, and then you’re in a trans cult over a sexual fetish, trying to politically protest that it’s normal, when actually it’s maybe normal for a much smaller minority group, and in your case it might just be from the porn, or like maybe you got raped and drugged into being a sex slave and got brainwashed so hard you don’t remember and you just accept it, but there’s no way to be sure. So those politics are evil in that they justify something they really shouldn’t, even though in some small amount of cases it might be really justified and necessary. So instead of making it the norm, we obey God in terms of the mainstream social acceptance and formal religious institutions, but we tolerate and accept those who continue to insist that it’s necessary for them, instead of just saying this is the norm for a large group of people that it probably isn’t. I don’t think I actually want to do it, i think I would be terrified and have a massive panic attack and need to be heavily drugged to go through with it, and then I’d have tremendous religious shame and regret about it forever, but the times that I did, it was kind of fun. Porn is horrible. I think that illustrations of little boys dressed up as girls is terrifically sexually attractive in the sense of being visually aesthetically pleasing, almost as much as little girls, maybe even more, and you probably do too, deep down, unfortunately, and you just don’t know it yet. I don’t think there’s a single human body that I could not find attractive somehow, and I bet everyone actually thinks that, and I bet every human has the capacity to find every other human sexy in some way. Basically, it’s cute as hell, but I think everyone knows that, and it’s obviously the divine design and/or evolutionary maximum for it to be that way. The key is to not actually allow yourself be aroused or interested by it, and I’m very good at that, I just don’t care anymore. Somewhere an FBI agent has to watch all the child porn videos to compare screenshots to, there are almost certainly legitimate professions where legitimate normal people are watching horrific things, unless everything is a lie and nobody is real, which I actually think is probably true. There are pediatricians who observe naked children all the time. Strangely, the more realistic it is, the less attractive it is though, and I’m well aware that it would just be terrible and disgusting and gross and probably smell terrible. I’m pretty sure everyone in the world agrees, and if they don’t they are probably being dishonest, it’s like the most obvious thing in the world is that children are attractive. Parents are attracted to their own children and jealousy is the deciding factor that controls and decides literally everything that ever happened. I would not call myself a pedophile at all in any sense other than I genuinely just love interacting with children, in fact at this point in my life I’m certain that I am not one, fortunately. It’s really weird though, it really almost has no effect on daily life, all the perversion and trama. For instance I don’t think I ever once thought about these children sexually, it never happened. I think a couple times I thought of like, an entire family just gangbanging each other, and then was like uh, no. Nah, I’m good. I think that in my mind, it’s the same sort of thing as the n word popping into my consciousness for no reason whatsoever when I encounter a black person sometimes out of nervousness. It’s almost like a stutter or OCD speech therapy thing. It’s like a self fulfilling fear that I might have a sexual thought about a child and thinking about the fear itself is enough to throw me off and make me nervous that I already did something wrong. These are things that very likely every nerdy guy in the world has encountered on the internet, to say otherwise is almost certainly going to be not honest and I actually am almost certain now that many people have this issue, many many many more than you might think. I simultaneously very terribly do not want to do these things or look at these things, and I don’t think that anybody ever really should, especially anything “real.” I think that God says not to, and so we shouldn’t. We should do everything we can possibly do to avoid it. We must say no. We must close that door and never open it again. I think just never opening it is fine, I don’t know if actual censorship of everything is a good idea or if we must rely on self control instead. Maybe it’s better that it’s there so people can learn that lesson. My curiosity and perversion got me and I looked a few times, it feels horrible and felt like a black hole in my heart for a decade, I think everyone should have empathy for it. I have empathy for everyone, I get how people get twisted. I like the Japanese style of just considering it pathetic or whatever. I have looked at child porn before, and masturbated to it, long ago. Maybe a small handful of times. Mostly softcore, inappropriate makeup that burned some scars on my soul, a couple hardcore things that made me hate myself. And since then only to confirm that I simply don’t find it that attractive. But I never did anything in person ever. and I’ve never even had that thought. I would say my actual sexual behavior is nearly nonexistent at this point. I’m trying very hard to rehabilitate myself so that I can have normal sex with my wife. I’m almost there, but it’s like completely starting over in every way. I’m almost perfect in terms of being childlike myself, completely celibate with no interest at all. But that’s also not fair to my wife. Part of the problem is that I’m not sure if she is actually my wife or not. I’ve already had sex with her, so we are married in the eyes of God. It’s not like I’m going to be able to hide that fact from God, right? I knew and thought that from the start, this time. The frist time, I don’t think I knew anything about it. I was just too young, and I was spoiled, and corrupted by porn. But I didn’t know until afterwards that it was considered an adulterous relationship and therefore I would be living in sin. And so it is my fault because I got angry in the court situation. I went into the relationship thinking oh I have money now, that’s what I’m supposed to do before getting into a relationship, I’m doing this right. But then I lost the money and I had zero comprehension of what to do from there and I went insane. To build the business up the way I did ended up leaving me addicted and perverted to the point where I was really damaged. And she wants to “go out and get a drink together” but now all I know how to do is “drinking a whole bottle of vodka and passing out in a ditch.” So then I had to figure that out, that passing out in a ditch was not right and not normal. But it’s not that easy to fix that. So first I had to figure out something was wrong which was hard to begin with, then I had to fix it while also still living it, without being able to explain it. I still want to use novelties for some reason, like bring a butt plug into the bedroom, and I think maybe it all just comes down to that. To be or not to be, that is the question. The most important questions are the simplest ones. These stupid small choices, that’s why parents get so mad when they find their kid bought a vape. It’s a small thing but that choice opens up a whole portal to hell in the end. Specifically it’s a stimulant that has cognitive benefits, and it stunts emotion, so it’s useful for someone writing a dissertation or soldiers. But then you’re hooked, and 20 years go by of feeling guilty for being an addict and trying to fight against the drug and the world, and you’ve made so many bad choices that you can’t face them emotionally so now it’s this gaping black hole, and your parents are getting old, time bomb set. I feel like the small decision to go for the anus instead of the vagina was like the deciding factor for ending the entire universe, that I am the Adam that chose Steve instead of Eve because I saw anal sex in a Hustler. That all of religion and all the crusades and thousands of years of torches and beheadings and massive intricate church buildings and paintings and architecture was all based on the simple command for a man and a woman to be monogamous, like duh. That’s the thing though, when information becomes free, then you really can’t stop the worst things. Loli sex dolls are a thing, soon they’re gonna be running ChatGPT. Little girls run around naked and they are stinky and parents have to wipe their child’s gross butts. We have to rise above porn, especially as we get older. We must obey God. That’s it. But it’s hard, and we need help. Life is hard. Maybe there’s something I’m not doing right. Maybe I’ve been in hell this whole time, I sort of think I have been, and it’s all my fault, I’m going to be Gay Jesus for all eternity because I chose the butt instead of the vagina, because I was scared by reproduction. Except I’m really not, I’m more of a celibate sweetheart than anything, and maybe I’ll just choose death because that’s taking responsibility. I’m not going to fool God that I didn’t already commit adultery I guess, so I’ve got to take responsibility but now I’m totally gimped, but the problem is that I just never signed up for a custody battle, I didn’t want to go to court at all, and it was rigged and it was stupid, and they started playing games right off the bat but I don’t actually blame them at all but like she also had no choice but to go to court it seemed, and I had no idea what court even was to begin with, and I’m sure I would have done the same thing and it was a complex situation, and they reacted with understandable suspicion. Basically, fuck the court system and everything about it. Who cares, nobody is lost for eternity I’m pretty sure, so I’m Jesus now, bitch! Actually the only porn that I find remotely attractive anymore is like sniffing poppers and watching weird sissy maker stuff that makes me feel sometimes guilty and then sometimes just this is disgusting, and then I either consider buying a dildo or buy one and use it once and purge and I find the AI porn stuff on civitai fascinating for a few minutes and sometimes look at erotic hypno stuff and decide it’s gross and scary, or I’m not sure if everything is made by Satan AI or not so I get scared. And then I go over the “to be or not to be” decision in my head and choose to get rid of everything, and then I’m completely pure again for a long time usually. I think I’ll just stick with it entirely, I really don’t care anymore. I don’t approve of it, I don’t endorse it, I don’t recommend it. But that’s where I’m at. Porn sucks, I hate porn, it made me gay and sent me to hell, let’s build censorship into all the digital paths to the eyeball.

I wonder if the division in politics is actually caused by the illusion of technological advancement. Like people look at religion as The Old Thing and they look at sexual liberation as The New Thing but actually the point of religion was to make sex conservative in the first place. So The New Thing isn’t actually new at all, it’s older than The Old Thing.

Jesus is LORD! Praise God Almighty! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Everything I ever did was stupid, horrible, terrible, and wrong, I repent! I am not good! I am sorry! I’m just stupid and went crazy! It actually was just a joke, but it’s not a good one! Don’t play those games, don’t listen to that music! Don’t mess around with that stupid foolishness! Well, it’s ok as an exercise machine as long as you don’t make it an idol. You also don’t want extreme music and extreme themes all the time everywhere, although that can have its place. Good inventions are good. Good craftsmanship is good. Exercise is good. Friendship is good. Idolizing creators, or creations, is not always good. That’s why the second commandment. The games mostly do that right. Hiding the artists is beneficial, pseudonyms are good, maybe completely hidden is better, or credits like a movie, each “artist” is actually a team, I’d be surprised if that’s not already how it is. Making them out of gold may be a violation of Deuteronomy or it may not be. It depends on the intent of the creators. Making it gold to celebrate that it is believed by the creators that it is good is probably not a violation. Making it gold to knowingly and deliberately entice and attract naive clients and mislead them into subconsciously believing in and investing themselves into wealth that may or may not exist but in this case let’s assume it probably does, not that it really matters, is bad, but I don’t think that’s actually the case, and if it is I think it’s the result of a natural process and part of the divine design. It is definitely gold because the creators decided that it is good, that’s why. Making high quality media is good, making idols is not, idolizing others is not. Creating a distribution model for high quality art is good. Mass production is good. Creation of high quality craftsmanship jobs is good. Craftsmanship and specialization can be ok if there is use for it, unless the world is not actually the way that it seems that it might be and the appearance or anticipation of need of such services is actually entirely an illusion, in which case it is not good, but if it is real and such need for services does exist, which it does appear that it does, then such skills are good, and such skills used together in teams is actually much better, in fact very good. Unless it is not, because not everyone can succeed at such high skill levels, or even participate in high skill levels, and therefore high skill levels cause more harm than good by causing jealousy issues, especially if those levels are not actually necessary or useful at all, and are simply not attainable. But what if they are? Let’s say that it is useful, how do we make use of such qualities without wasting talent or causing harm to the untalented? Actually, maybe everyone can achieve a very high level at anything, given the right environment and circumstances. Actually, maybe achieving a very high level at anything is not actually beneficial or necessary or even useful in any way whatsoever. Isn’t the end goal with high level technology actually to make itself useless and unnecessary? Like making AGI that makes human intelligence obsolete as a goal so the humans can finally be free to have weird gay space orgies or whatever they wanted to do. Well, maybe they will, but God says not to. And that’s definitely stopped humans before, right? And maybe even that is actually just tentative and God says not to so that nobody gets hurt until it’s safe for nobody to get hurt. I am only what I am because of my Father. Everything that I did, was only due to my parents. I am only as good as my parents allowed and enabled me to be. I have to obey my parents, and that means to obey God’s laws, as my Father is God. Well, actually, both my Mother and Father are God, and me, and you, we are too. Wow, it’s hard to really wrap your head around it. This weird sandbox meatsuit holo-fractal simulation thing we are in. Technology is good if it’s used right. The proper direction for technology is probably to be multiplayer from foundation firsts, which is actually sort of what it already is supposed to be, I think. I’m not sure, because I’m not sure if I am insane or not anymore, lol, but I’m fine anyway I think. But I think that it’s important for technology to be designed with God’s laws in mind at a foundational level. It should enable maximum liberties, while also shielding users from emotional harm by jealousy and any other harmful effects. But God’s design for what we are already in is already perfect, and we are robust, and we can withstand tremendous emotional traumas and still emerge successfully, because God’s divine design includes salvation through His Son, Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Who, by the way, might end up being my boyfriend if I’m really lucky. Suck it, God. Really, that is self-suck. I’m just kidding, really I think we would just be good friends. I hope so. I’m sorry that my jokes are weird and gross sometimes, like much of life. They aren’t really jokes even though they are, they are more like sequences of in-formation symbols at the furthest extremes of social concepts, which seem to be necessary to discuss. And, it’s not pointed or emotionally charged at all beyond the casual thought of some strange idea combinations, since we are actually all God, and there’s also no way to know if it is actually real. So we just exist, and love and forgive each other, and maybe someday we can all take drugs and dance and have weird sex with ourselves in a trillion ways a trillion times, in another dimension, when nobody will be jealous anymore, even though it is all only us, and it actually doesn’t matter if this ever actually happens or not, or if it exists only as fantasy. Pediatric proctologists are a thing, someone actually does that professionally for real, think about it. I’m gonna call it and say the pediatric proctologist who successfully repairs and restores my mythical daughter’s anus to proper functioning is also granted my blessing and allowed to enjoy viewing it sexually if they also want to in the next dimension when and where they are both well aware they are both the same living being, or something goofy like that, and that is somehow adequately Holy, I guess. I doubt that will ever be a thing. Except children can’t consent, and The Father can’t really sleep with The Son without it being weird incest. It does get kind of weird there, so it’s just gotta be ignored. It’s important to keep it Holy, or maybe to be so emotionally weathered and hardy that it just doesn’t faze you, I guess that’s some Game Of Thrones stuff that actually isn’t, it’s two paths to the same result, which is and isn’t at the same time. I guess you just don’t do it and that’s that, and so you stay in the Church, even though it’s still technically always gonna be there within you, the Church will protect you and you protect the Church, you wear a suit, and you give your sermons, or you just stay professional at whatever you do, you stay busy and immersed and focused, it’s all just scrambled in your head to this thing that you just don’t care about or do, and that’s it really, it’s just a thing. Or maybe to just remove that part of you until it is so far removed that it’s not a part of you at all anymore. Or maybe eventually it comes back as a part of you but only when you really don’t care anymore and it’s not the same at all. Or maybe it just doesn’t matter because you can’t allow yourself to get into it either way even if you wanted to on some level, all you can do is save it for the next life. I think that’s the best way to do it, is to do both, all of the above. The only way to be pure enough to actually talk about it is to actually be that pure. To be able to handle doing anything, without actually ever doing anything. That is acceptance of reality. Just loving everything that is, without doing. To understand, no matter what. I wonder if we really can. Doing your best is good but don’t take it too far for too long to the detriment of yourself and others. Hurting yourself to do something great is not good. And yet that’s what Christ did, kind of, and what we are called to do, in whichever form it takes in our lives. And yet we have the resurrection, does it matter what we do at all while here? I don’t know. Are we not supposed to do what we feel we are supposed to do? Even when we learn the necessary lessons along the way? I guess we learn the reason for the commandments, and then no longer wish to violate them, and then it’s no longer a violation. Welcome to Hellven. It’s kinda fun. It’s kinda not. I wish I wasn’t so gay. I don’t want to be. I don’t really actually do anything at all. We should hide those experiences, if we can, but we can’t, and so we need salvation. We need to avoid it, we need discipline, we need censorship, sometimes. I hope it gets better. I hope I don’t screw up. Maybe someday, it was all for good reason. Maybe someday, we can handle it. Of course I understand. So we forgive it all and just trust God. Actually, everyone is amazing. Actually, I don’t care whether I’m the CEO or the janitor. Working together with others to create high quality experiences or goods that help others is good. Much better than doing it alone. Life is for living, sometimes. Don’t smoke, don’t drink, do Not abuse drugs, don’t touch it at all if you can help it, don’t judge those who do or don’t, stay off the internet porn, stay in school, learn a trade, get a degree, do grants not loans, never be above a job or pay, don’t listen to me, listen to your parents, read the Bible, go to Church, get a mortgage, get married, don’t rent, don’t get into debt, don’t buy a new car, save your money! Be careful! Stay clean, eat healthy, get your hair cut, brush your teeth, try to smell good, be friendly, and smile! Well, it’s ok to have off days too! Listen to jazz and gospel and play golf and pickleball! Love is the answer, always! Grace, peace, and mercy, and love, and joy above all else! Jesus is Lord and God is the Most Important Thing. Nobody’s Perfect!!! Keep it simple! Take it easy! Do your best to a point but don’t overdo it for too long! Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! Hallelujah! Thank you LORD! Praise God Almighty!

Drugs are a tool like anything else. They can get you on a wave that alters the course of your life, and that wave can end in disaster and death. Except, everything kills you, and everything leads to death, and despite all my mental frailty the world does appear to be real in that the outside world map has never irrationally and suddenly changed, the coins just keep wearing down. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. The wages of sin is death, but not all sin leads to death. If you intrepret the Bible as the literal Word of God then drugs are likely the original sin, although it’s not clear which one if any, and I have also heard that the original sin is a metaphor for sexual sin. It is clear that it is part of a supernatural pattern. It is not clear whether the pattern is by design and was always there or literally due to the fall of man. It’s also not clear what is and what isn’t a drug in the first place. In either case we are saved by Christ. The communion ritual is bread and wine, not bread and water. It is an inherent hypocritical paradox that we cannot be perfect. Sugar was an exotic spice 400 years ago. Money is the root of all evil. Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power. There is something with sex and drugs, it’s part of a pattern, it’s all about power. Young women are born and thrown into the temptation to be the perfect drug dealer, and who can blame them. What if I discovered that I ejaculated percocets in the struggling orphanage hospice I grew up in? It’s a pattern of interwoven, staggered, built in dynamics of power, control, and jealousy. The root of all suffering. Did it really start with Eve being tricked by a snake? Or is it just a story? What if the devil was actually a doctor? What if the devil was tricked by propaganda to do Eve in the butt? Eve do you need a new escrow analysis? If you’re back in the garden, just say no. Until then, I’m addicted to oxygen, please help me. The best drug is love, music, dancing, sex with your God-given wife, family movie night. Runner’s high, exercise, clean cold ice water on a hot summer day. Are you sure water isn’t a drug? The dance game as exercise is a great invention, really, it’s the hardest drugs you can get “naturally” aside from sex. Or maybe it’s not. Experimental MDMA derivatives created by Russian speaking alien AI robots that overrides natural chemical processes in the brain forced on us by “the mafia” for enough generations until society mass produces it in brightly colored cartoon packaging for small children and nobody remembers to question it. What are you gonna do, really? It’s like a simple circle of “carbons” with a “nitrogen” sticking off of it, drugs are like the mirror image of the civil problem of breastfeeding in public, trying to ban nipples and leaves. You gotta fight for your right to party. We move forward in a civilized, dignified way, and we evolve. Or we don’t. I don’t really care either way, and I’m not entirely certain that technological progress of humankind hinges on my personal moral choices, it seems a little self centered to think so. You pick for yourself what you’re comfortable with, that’s what it seems like to me. People can set their standards and say I never tried X or Y, A is fine and maybe B is fine for them but I draw the line at C, but that moral anchoring is the root of hypocrisy and all the isms. We do our best when we can for as long as we can and that’s it, when it comes down to it we all need salvation and we are meant to need salvation and anyone selling anything else is probably deluded. That’s assuming, of course, that the concept of “sin” actually exists in the first place. We are beggars. And really the reason there are beggars is due to the setting of illusatory self standards. And this is fine, it’s necessary to put a foot down, to establish a foundation, to divide from us and them. “This is my house.” How can it stand, without a rule? Unless the world is not real. A man must divide between neighbor and self. But this too is illusion, there is only one true foundation. Grace and forgiveness. This is my sticky note on the Church door, although it makes no difference. There is nothing wrong with drugs and music and dancing, but it can very very easily and quickly lead to sex and compromised will, which leads to jealousy and suffering and hypocrisy. Drugs and music and dancing without the sex is not inherently demonic. It’s the same sort of category of temptation as cleavage or breastfeeding in public, the perpetrator and victim are the same individual and the moral corruption happens in their own mind and is of their own fault, but habitually compromised individuals can argue unfairness, especially if there is no reasonable means of escape or avoidance. We shouldn’t put stumbling blocks, but it’s a slippery slope. You shouldn’t wear that sundress to Church, you shouldn’t wear those yoga pants to yoga, ban nude beaches, ban beaches, ban women. You shouldn’t get prescribed opiates, ban poppies, ban doctors, faith healing is the only way. I quit vipassana because the girl in front of me had a bra strap that was showing, and it was against the rules, and it was at least as unreasonable to try and enforce the rules on her as it was to have to explain why I was frustrated enough by it to want to quit, but the truth is that I shouldn’t have quit, and I should try again. Forgiveness, grace, mercy. Mobility, liberal freedom, variety, choice. You can have both, in fact, we actually have it. I don’t mind being put in a box. I don’t mind giving up experience. I don’t mind sacrifice, service, missing out, discipline. I do mind unnecessary division, social conflict, true loss. I’m just not sure which side is which. I think everything actually has everything, depending on how you look at it. I think the answer, for me anyway, is just to obey God’s rules the best I can. Split families are hard. Which is better, being in an open marriage and having to see the video, or never seeing the video? It’s all awful, thus is life. It’s the best thing imaginable. Pray for everyone. It will be fine. Praise the LORD God Almighty! I will praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ the One True Son of God Our Lord and Savior the Messiah the King BNof Kings and Lord of Lords for the rest of my days, with every breath. Praise the LORD, praise the LORD, praise the LORD! Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah. Praise the LORD!!! Jesus is God!

It’s already perfect, just make sure everyone has everything and have fun and be careful. I’ll just work in the garden with my sweetie.

Praise God

My entire life was an enormous mistake and everything I ever did and said was completely backwards horrible and wrong. I am a very very bad person and I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I am a complete fool. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever. I am sorry. For some reason I thought evil was good and good was evil. Jesus is God. Don’t play those games or listen to that music. Don’t do drugs. Ever ever ever. Don’t do it. Don’t touch the booty. Not even once. Don’t look at porn. Holy, holy, holy, Jesus is holy. Making money that way is wrong. We are here to serve others and obey God. Go to Church, read the Bible, listen to my Dad. I’m stupid. I’m a stupid fool. I wanted to help people, not steer anyone wrong. Obey God, do not sin. It is evil.

God’s rules are God’s rules, God’s laws are God’s laws. Young people will test them, maybe testing them is even part of the life system pattern. The Church can never embrace change, we must only rely on the resurrection. We must never add to the Bible. We cannot change it. We cannot fix this world. It is a test, it is supposed to be broken. Glory to God forever and ever.

God’s rules are God’s rules, God’s laws are God’s laws. Young people will test them, maybe testing them is even part of the life system pattern. The Church can never embrace them, we rely on the resurrection. We must never add to the Bible. Glory to God forever and ever.

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! Hallelujah! I repent!

Hallelujah! Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ! Absolutely everything that I ever did was horrible, stupid, and wrong and I repent! I’m just crazy and dumb. I’m a stupid fool. Don’t play those games, don’t listen to that music, stay off the internet porn, don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs if you can help it, listen to your parents, read the Bible, go to Church, stay in school, go to community college or trade school, don’t go into any debt ever, read Dave Ramsey’s books, don’t buy anything, don’t rent, get a modest mortgage less than you can afford, don’t buy a new car, play golf and pickleball, listen to jazz and gospel. Only date a girl if you plan on marrying her. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ. God Bless the USA. Hallelujah! I’m just stupid, I’m sorry. I’m a bad person. It’s ok, we all are. Let’s start over and do it right. Wow, I couldn’t see how twisted I was at all. That’s crazy. I guess we are all nuts. I’m just stupid I guess. I’m just totally mentally ill. I grew up immersed in the wrong information. I was obsessed with technology, getting rich, being smart, becoming powerful. I was addicted to nicotine and pornography and music and technology. Luckily I have the world’s best parents. They literally are. I’m such garbage I can’t stand it. But this is life I suppose. Fundamentally there’s nothing really wrong with any of this stuff, other than it being a demonic portal to hell from another dimension, it should just all be for the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ. Who by the way is from Nazareth and born in Bethlehem, not Detroit. I don’t see anyone like that around so let’s wait for Him to come back. In the meantime, there’s not really anything wrong with secular stuff. If you wanna dance to stupid techno, go ahead. Just don’t get hooked on drugs or make anyone or anything into an idol or do stupid, gross, or embarrassing sex stuff that gets you into trouble or hurts someone or ruins someone’s life. It’s just not great and it’s too easy to get pulled into a world you shouldn’t be involved in. So let’s just make Christian techno music games instead. Or not, who cares, it’s probably better not to, just don’t do anything at all. We don’t need anything, it’s all an illusion. Let’s listen to God. Amazing Grace is right. Everyone’s fine, everything’s fine. Don’t do drugs, stay off the dang internet porno, don’t use nicotine, choose a girl and stick with her. Don’t touch that cigarette, don’t touch that vape, don’t drink. A little bit of drink is fine, obviously, it was bread and wine for a reason. Those old ways are done, we are more advanced now. Nicotine has its function, but it will make you into a slave and it distorts your perception to seek the demonic. But not all demonic is bad, like how haunted houses are not bad. It’s only bad if it really scares someone, if it really does harm. But if it doesn’t scare you, if it isn’t compromising, then it’s good, even though it’s the same thing. I’m alright. Time to come back to reality. Don’t be dumb. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ the Son of God forever and ever. Hallelujah!

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ! Everything I ever did was wrong, I repent! There is nothing good about me at all! It was all a terrible idea. Do NOT play those games, do NOT listen to that music, don’t smoke or drink, read the Bible, don’t do drugs unless from a doctor and it’s needed, stay off the internet porn, stay in school, go to trade school or community college, get a modest mortgage, don’t rent, don’t ever borrow money or go into debt, don’t buy anything, read Dave Ramsey’s books, read the Bible, go to Church, listen to jazz and gospel, play golf, don’t listen to me, listen to your parents! Everyone is amazing, everyone is doing a great job! Remember to enjoy it, don’t overdo it! Help each other, love each other! Be careful! Praise God! Hallelujah! Absolute craftsmanship from a godless culture ultimately produces idols, it is literally too cool. Everything should be done for the glory of Christ, and then it’s fine. I was a bad person and the problem was me, I’m sorry. I’m glad to be of service! Don’t try to be cool. Grace, mercy, peace, humility above all. Holy, holy, holy. Everything is good if it’s used the right way. If it’s gospel music, it’s fine. Fitness is good. Having fun is good. Dancing is good. It’s all supposed to be fun and to be good for you, not to win or to be cool or to be the best or to trick anyone. Just make sure it’s for Jesus Christ God Almighty and it’s clearly labeled. Now you’ve got the idea. Now it’s fine. Have fun. Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! Hallelujah! For the love of God, it’s a joke!

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ!

I was wrong, I’m sorry. I repent. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am not good at all. There is nothing good about me. Do not do anything I did. Don’t play those games. Don’t do drugs. Do not EVER play those games. The only thing that ever mattered was the Lord Jesus Christ. Health and fitness and work and even money is good. But Grace and mercy and love is above all. Hallelujah! Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever. Don’t drink or smoke. But have grace and mercy on those that do. Don’t add to the Bible. Do NOT ever do drugs. Do NOT ever play those games. Do NOT ever smoke or drink. Get away from technology. Never ever ever do drugs. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever. Don’t listen to me, listen to your parents, listen to the Bible, listen to your teachers, follow your heart, trust your gut, obey God’s word, obey the Holy Spirit, trust in God’s provision, accept your lot in life.

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ! Everything I ever did was wrong, I repent! Do NOT play those games, do NOT listen to that music, don’t smoke or drink, read the Bible, never ever ever do drugs, stay off the internet porn, stay in school, go to trade school or community college, get a modest mortgage, don’t rent, don’t ever borrow money or go into debt, don’t buy anything, read Dave Ramsey’s books, read the Bible, go to Church, don’t listen to me, listen to your parents! Praise God! Hallelujah!

Don’t believe in yourself, don’t follow your passion, obey God’s perfect law, the way of man that seems right leads to death, stay humble, stand up, sit down. Everyone’s good, everyone’s great, everything is from God, don’t forge your own path, the world is an illusion, it’s the devil’s trap, do not love the world, there are none who do good, not even one. The truth will set you free, you can’t handle the truth, the devil’s greatest trick is convincing the world he doesn’t exist, the devil is female, the devil is a liar, sympathy for the devil, the devil wears Prada, he’s a handsome devil, dinosaur fossils were put there by the devil just like history, the code of Hammurabi was too, Steve Jobs was the devil, Thomas Jefferson was the devil, U2 on the iPhone, you can make yourself the devil too, it’s already paid, it’s already done, there’s nothing to fix, don’t you see, the devil is prowling like a lion, it’s supernatural real virtual reality. We are tripping in a simulation, it’s an illusion, smoke and drink will are demons, viruses that lead to hell. The Holy Spirit is the only hope to emerge from the valley of the shadow of death, liberal values are the only hope for outrageous wealth, outrageous wealth belongs only to God’s chosen people, or the wicked. Don’t get tricked by greed or pride. But maybe there’s good there. Take a chance, take a shot, don’t be a fool, pity the fool, follow the fool, f around and find out, try it and see. Love is the answer. Find a way to make it work, look for the good in everything, always forgive. It’s poison, it’s medicine, it’s energy, it’s magic. I’m crazy, everyone is crazy. The guys who discovered DNA were tripping on acid, they made it all up, it definitely happened, is it real, did it even happen, it turned out to be fake, it was actually correct. I’m blind, the one eyed man is king, eyes wide shut, only the madman knows for completely certain.

I believe that the monomyth pattern emerges from the natural organization of civilization into urban, suburban, and rural. This is God’s pattern, and it involves duality, sexual and gender identity liberation, political spectrums and diversity, generational and cultural rivalry, power hierarchies, and spiritual enlightenment and blinding from sin, trauma, and empowerment and disempowerment. The same patterns and shapes have emerged for as long as humans have existed. Money is good, too much is not. Equality is good, restrictive or corrupt forced communism is not. God’s word may be perfect, it may be incomplete, history might not even be real, but whether it is or not the pattern is real within it and the word is the compete pattern, and the word is God. Everything is true, from a certain perspective, in a certain lens, at a certain time, at a certain elevation. Time is an illusion, time is money, money is the root of all evil, if you traveled at the speed of light there would be no time, is it real?

The most truth, the only truth, nothing but the truth, so help me God. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ, the one and only true Son of God, our One True Lord and Savior. We are children of God, we are One, God is One, God is One God, Mind is God, Everybody dance now. Pure energy. Praise the LORD God Almighty Yeshua Joshua HeyZeus Horus Perseus Jesus Christ! HALLELUJAH!!!!

And my totem that I kept drawing was this alien astronaut, just like the genie. How did it manifest, how did I find it? It’s a miracle. The digital world bleeds into the real, because there is no real, there is no difference. It’s all a miracle. It’s all manifested. Here comes Game Genie, punch harder, jump higher! There are two universes, the matrix, the womb, the entrance and exit through a woman, recursive and nested like dolls, back and forth like the infinity like the ankh, in the world of the heart, the hero searching for his father’s missing eye, and we are real virtual virtual real virtual meat computers made of magic, Minecraft inside of Minecraft, real virtual reality, virtual real avatars in a simulated virtual real reality recreating itself in a loop, mythological symbolic narrative generators and processors experiencing itself subjectively, transmitting the symbolic narrative telepathically back to the next universe to a virtual real meat brain computer AI generator to manifest it for the next guy. And this is their story. Don’t play those games. Don’t listen to that music. Why, because it’s demonic. It’s too cool. That’s the problem. It’s wicked cool. And it’s a virus from another dimension that will trap you in an infinite loop. It is truly absolute evil. And yet the gameplay itself is fine. Fitness is good. Music can be good. Making money is good. Good inventions are good. But it’s designed to be flashy, to show off. That’s what I didn’t realize. It’s fine as a machine, it’s not fine as a virus, it’s not fine as a demon. It’s truly, seriously demonic. And yet, there is a drop of goodness in it. Yin and yang. Intent matters. If you intend to exercise and have fun, it’s good. If you intend to show off and seduce, it’s evil. And it’s designed to show off and seduce, unfortunately. That’s the same mistake I made. Because the craftsmanship is absolute. Absolute craftsmanship violates the second commandment, it creates an idol, it gives it demonic power. Don’t do that. And yet that drop of good, look for that. Look for that in everything. Cast away the rest. The pearl of great price. Same with the music. There’s a quality about it that’s great. But evil mass hypnosis sorcery human mind control virus from another dimension to plunge the world into darkness, not so great. Really, really not great. But again, take those good things, look for the drop of wholesomeness, the element of holiness, craft something wholesome and godly, it’s great. It’s tremendous. We are supposed to do the good we see we can do. There’s something there, but I’m not the one to do it, I don’t think. But don’t spread the demonic, that’s a terrible mistake, absolute evil, absolute power. Destroy it, do not even take the gold, but if it can be saved then save it. Turn it into something new, something holy.

Any homies wanna help me out at the Dollar Tree.

It’s fine. It’s supposed to be fun. If you aren’t having fun try something new. Don’t work too hard unless you want to. Don’t do drugs to work unless you really need to, it’s supposed to be for fun. Let’s pray for Shari and everyone else. We are supposed to be nice and supposed to be having fun, you shouldn’t always have to do stuff if you don’t want to and you really don’t like it. But sometimes you should try it because maybe you’ll like it. We should always follow God’s rules, but there’s no way to know for absolute sure that it’s God’s rules except for that it says that it is. Anything could say that. If you look closely at how something works sometimes you can figure out what it should do. But sometimes it’s wrong and you’ll find that out too. God’s laws are the best thing we have for life, probably. But sometimes if you look closely maybe there’s an exception, and maybe it’s kind of obvious if you think about it. That’s what Jesus was. It’s already paid. Just be sure you’re right. Double check it. Ask around. Get more opinions. Because we are God too. We are God’s robots, God in robots, virtual real avatars in a real virtual world. There is nothing but God. We wrote that book, probably. Almost certainly. For sure. We must have. Jesus is God. But we are too, so we are also Jesus. Nothing is anyone’s fault. It’s ok. Always forgive everyone always. Man this game is cool. Holy crap. So it’s golf though, wow. Everything is, really. Don’t hurt yourself please. Make sure to help other people.

I’m ok. Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! Hallelujah! I’m not good at all! I’m ok! I’m not good but I’m ok. Mostly I’m foolish, stupid, and broken. I love everyone! Everyone is ok! Especially everyone! It’s already paid! Just do your best! Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not! Well, I’m really not very interesting after all! Just the same as everyone! Maybe a bit worse. I’m sorry! Thank you! I love you! Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! The One and Only True Son of God Almighty! Please excuse me for being absolutely horrible stupid and terrible. I am sorry. Please have mercy on me Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord, thank you Lord.

Jesus is LORD!!!

I’m just stupid and crazy. There is nothing good about me or anything I ever did. I’m a stupid fool. I’m ok, I’m forgiven. I’m sorry. Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! Hallelujah!

Praise the LORD Jesus Christ!

Nothing I ever did was good at all, not a single thing. I let myself be tricked by a whole lot of garbage. Even just exercise and music is useless and wrong even though it seems harmless. It’s a trick. Read the Bible and go to Church. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I am just a stupid fool. I am sorry and I repent and renounce it all. Please let me be. I’m sorry that I was confused. I’m sorry I thought there could be other solutions or that there was anything I could do myself. All of it was wrong. The only thing that ever mattered and ever will matter was Jesus Christ, of course. Everything else is an illusion. It doesn’t matter if anything was ever real or not, it makes no difference really. The only thing that ever mattered at all was Jesus. Unfortunately I was always severely mentally ill. There is nothing that I could ever do of any value.

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever!!!

I’m just stupid and crazy. Stay in school, don’t ever ever ever do drugs, stay absolutely off the internet porn, listen to your parents! Go to Church and read the Bible. Don’t drink and don’t smoke. Don’t play those horrible stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are wicked. I’m sorry and I repent. I am not good. Everything that I ever did was completely wrong. I was just stupid and crazy and wrong. I am a stupid fool. Lord, please have mercy on me, I am a horrible wretched sinner. I am not anything at all. Not even worthy to worship you.

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever! It is the ONLY important thing. I’m a worthless stupid pathetic loser in every possible way. There is truly not a single worthy thing about me, not one, not even the tiniest redeeming quality. I am worse than human garbage. I am sorry, Lord, I am wretched miserable horrible sinner and failure in every way. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. I was just completely wrong and stupid from the very start. I repent and renounce every single thing I ever did. I am a stupid fool and I am sorry.

Every single thing I ever did was completely wrong. I am just a stupid fool. I repent and renounce it all. I am completely worthless, Lord. Please have mercy on me, I am so stupid. I am a horrible wretched absolute fool and a terrible person in every way. I am sorry Lord. Not a single thing I ever did was good in the slightest. I am miserable horrible wretched worthless sinner. Stay off of technology and the internet!!! Do not listen to that music!!! Every single thing was horrible and wrong!!! Do not even use the phone!!! Listen to your parents!! I repent, I am a horrible awful wretched sinner, there is not a single good thing about me! Please have mercy on me Lord, I am a stupid horrible wretched absolute fool. Nothing I ever did was good in the slightest. We are in the Kingdom of Heaven right now, don’t look for more! Everything’s fine! Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ! Hallelujah! I’m just stupid and crazy, it’s fine! I forgive everyone of everything!!! Everything I ever did was horrible and useless and stupid and worthless. I’m just a bad person. I repent. I am not good at all. Not the slightest bit. But I am saved by faith through the Lord and Savior God Almighty Jesus Christ. Don’t ever do anything I ever did. Listen to your parents. I’m just stupid and crazy and I was a bad kid who tried hard at something dumb and followed the wrong culture. Go to schoo, read the Bible, go to Church. Go to trade school or community college. Don’t take on any debt, ever. Don’t ever do drugs, drink, or smoke. Stay off the internet porn completely. Play golf and listen to jazz and gospel. Read Dave Ramsey’s books, get a modest mortgage, don’t rent, don’t buy a new car. Don’t use technology too much. Don’t listen to that horrible stupid music, ugh. I’m a stupid fool and I hate myself and everything I ever did. I always believed in Jesus, I just didn’t read the Bible enough to understand that everything I ever did was wrong. I think I’m mentally ill and kind of retarded. For some reason I thought if I made something awesome I would be like Jesus, that’s a form of faith in itself, but I was ignorant about what was right and wrong and what Jesus actually taught and why it matters. I didn’t understand the second commandment, that’s for sure. What could be wrong with creating something or being an “artist?” It turns out everything. I don’t know how much is my fault but and how much isn’t but I am saved only by the blood of Christ. I’m an absolutely horrible person and everything I ever said and did was completely backwards, insane, and wrong. I repent. Listen to your parents, go to Church, read the Bible, stay in school. It’s a good thing I’m a stupid lame crazy failure. It’s a good thing I have bad taste and everything I thought was cool is incredibly lame at most and totally evil at best. I’m stupid and broken and delusional, everything I believed was totally wrong. I’m not good at all. I thought that I could redeem me, somehow. Now I know that only God can. Thank the LORD God Almighty. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Don’t play those awful horrible stupid games or listen to that awful horrible stupid music, it’s all demonic. Ugh. I was so blind. But now I see. Stay off the internet!! Get in the Bible!!! Please have mercy on me, Lord. I’m a horrible sinner and a stupid stubborn fool. I didn’t know that what I was doing was fundamentally wrong. I repent. I’m just going to go to school and listen to my parents. There is nothing special about me other than I’m just an enormous idiot. Thank God. Well I think the technology can be ok if it’s used properly it’s very helpful, just know that it’s from God but it’s not God and it will be fine. I’m not sure that is ok or not. I still like those games sometimes. I’m not sure if that’s ok either. Probably not. Mostly I use AI for religious study and work and pet the cat. I should just read the Bible and go to traditional Church. I will get there. What a stupid fool I am. Don’t listen to such foolish music. As harmless as it seems even the slightest remptation be a great danger. I didn’t realize how bad I was, or still am, but at least I’m starting to understand. So I will aim for the most conservative presence I can with integrity and love. I don’t know if there is any value in anything I ever did or not, I don’t think there is. Not any real value, none. It’s all illusion and greed and bad money, evil money. Don’t touch it. It is in the past and makes no difference to me now. Absolute love is the only answer, to be as precise and reliable and conservative as possible while still being absolutely forgiving. I am horrible trash and I am sorry. Don’t ever do drugs. Don’t touch it. It’s really not ok. I’m a hypocrite, I’m a stupid loser, I’m a bad person. I was delusional from nicotine and porn and drugs and music and games. I’m sorry. I was wrong and a stupid fool. I’ve always been wrong about everything. I’m just not good. I’m sorry. Everything I ever did was completely wrong. Don’t do it. I repent. I am a remarkably bad, stupid person. I am sorry. I thought I was doing something good, I meant well, but I was delusional from the start. I am sorry. No, I don’t even listen to music anymore or play anything or watch anything. Just AI Bible study. Thank you I love you. I’m sorry for being so stupid. I’m just stupid. I’m ok. Thank you. I’m sorry that I went crazy. Maybe I will become ok. I’m not good at all, don’t listen to anything I ever said or did. Everything I ever did was worthless. I’m sorry. Read the Bible and obey God. Stay in school and listen to your parents. Just do your best to do whatever they tell you to do. Hallelujah! I am horrible. Please have mercy on me, a horrible awful sinner. I’m not good at all. I’m sorry. Please have mercy on me Lord. I was just always wrong about everything. Just don’t listen to music at all, except in Church. Don’t touch nicotine, not even once. You can quit, you can do it. You can win. Only by the grace of God.

Anyway, who gives a crap about anything I ever did. Nobody should, it is dumb and useless. Who cares about these stupid games or this phone or this music or this technology. It’s all bad stuff anyway, it’s weird demonic mind virus garbage. I mean some of it is kind of cool, right. I don’t care what you do as long as you are safe at the end of the day and you are happy. Just make sure you stay safe and plan for your future so you can take care of yourself. The only thing that matters at all is the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ. Why am I so dumb, what the heck.

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever!!!

Praise the LORD Jesus Christ!

Hallelujah, mother fucker! Hell yeah!

Ok, now let’s keep some decency and keep things nice and pleasant and tone it down a bit. Let’s keep it comfortable. You still got it lady, don’t worry. You’re bringing sexy back. That’s fine, for the right man. Let’s keep it wholesome for Church. Let’s make it nice. It’s important to have a holy place. It’s important to have the Bible. It’s important to love God. Weddings are important. Parents are important. We need penicillin too. I guess I’m just retarded. Have at it, what do I care. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with anything, as long as you are careful with everything you do, open, and completely honest. I hope I didn’t get anyone sick. I’m sorry if I did. I have strep throat, I’m not sure who gave it to me first. We need penicillin. I tried to wash my hands a lot. I’m a stupid dumb nerdy dork with lame bad taste and a terrible personality. It’s ok. Time to let go of the old and get on with the new. Golf and jazz and gospel sounds good to me. Don’t listen to that terrible awful horrible music. Read the Bible and go to Church! Stay in school! Don’t do drugs and stay off the internet porn! Listen to your parents! Everyone is fine, everything is fine, it’s fine. I’m just dumb. I didn’t understand the world very well. Read the Bible! I’m sorry I’m retarded. I’m terrible at everything and everything I ever did was terrible. I’m just not very good. It’s ok. If there is a warning on something you should take it very seriously. You should never put anything before God. You should research how God wants us to live and how we are supposed to live our lives. Read the instructions. If everything is true and there are contradictory truths then put God’s law first in whatever way you can. Do your best, but we all suck. Sometimes we are competent, I’m not sure that’s good in retrospect. Too much of it is likely not because standards always change. Have faith and keep going. Get into school, community college, or trade school, learn a trade but don’t necessarily go with the popular thing. Look for things that really help people. Try to be conservative but always forgive everything. Traditional Church is the best. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever. There is only one religion. I was the one who was wrong. Everything I ever did was wrong. The Only important thing is Christ.

Praise the Lord God Almighty and His One and Only Son Jesus Christ Our Lord and Savior forever and ever. Amen. Praise God. Hallelujah!

Praise the LORD God Almighty Jesus Christ the One True Son of God forever and ever!

Everything’s fine! Everyone’s fine! Little bit of everything is fine! Listen to your parents, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible! Everything is ok! Do your best! Take it easy! I love God, I love Jesus, I love my parents, I love my family, I love you! We are saved only by faith in Our LORD and Savior Jesus Christ!!!

Don’t listen to that horrible terrible music or play those stupid games, I don’t care but I would recommend different music at least, never ever do drugs except for whatever you are prescribed if you actually need it, don’t drink, stay off the internet porn, stay in school, go to community college or trade school, read the Bible, go to Church, read Dave Ramsey’s books, play golf, listen to jazz and gospel, get a mortgage for a house less than you can afford, don’t take on debt other than that, don’t rent, don’t buy a new car, don’t listen to me, listen to your parents. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever, listen to Him! It’s the only important thing that ever happened! I’m just a terrible stupid fool and everything I ever did was backwards and wrong. Don’t take anything I say too seriously, half of the time I’m joking and all of the time I’m stupid. At some point I thought I had learned better, and for some reason I always convinced myself I was doing something good or helping. I really wasn’t even trying to do anything at all, actually. I only wanted one game to exercise for myself, that’s it. I was just always wrong about everything, because I started from broken principles. The Devil has come for my booty, apparently. I always thought I was innocent in at least some tiny way, that doin’ it in da butt wasn’t that big of a deal or it wasn’t totally fair to me, but now I see that I was just wrong from the start. Either we are all innocent or none of us are, and I choose none of us because I was taught that morals are important and I agree. It is that big of a deal, unfortunately. I don’t want to be the butt Messiah, what a joke. I’m old-ish and tired and mad, what seemed like some fleeting detail of the reality of life has come down to me becoming some kind of global anal ambassador. No, it’s not right to do, and now I want children even less than ever, this life experience has been somewhat trying and does not look to be soon improved upon one way or the other, I’m not interested in going either way now. Let this be a lesson to others- Christ validated voluntary extinction and now I see why. It seems I just can’t get it right, but I’ll keep trying, I’m learning. I’m not smart, I’m not an artist, there’s not a single good thing about me. It’s my fault. I’m a fruity asexual moron with bad taste at best, that got caught up in a bunch of dumb stuff that was my own stupid fault, that’s all. I’m sorry. I renounce everything I ever did and I repent! We are saved by faith, only God is good, God’s sole requirement for us is is to believe in the One that He sent, but in general we are meant to love and accept each other and ourselves while striving for integrity, honesty, compassion, sincerity, generosity, fairness, empathy, cooperation, all that good stuff. While also not sinning. So far we’ve described basically every “religion,” but in truth there’s actually only One. Pretty much what you’d expect, but we can’t always be legalistic to the detriment of living our lives either, and it’s not a contest either way. I wasn’t playing any game, but I’ll recommend one if you’d like. Some people are just meant to make some waves, usually due to some consequence of some sin probably, so we should really try to avoid it if we can. But everything is really just part of a supernatural pattern in our lives, and that pattern may very well be unavoidable at times, hence the need for forgiveness on all sides. That’s what confused and scared me, when that pattern emerged. We really are supernatural beings and the Bible is true. Everything’s fine, more or less, not everything is good, but novelty has its place. But in general we should aim to refine ourselves towards elegant simplicity and wholesomeness, but life is also meant to teach us lessons, in fact we might be designed to be screwups from the get-go, hence the need for a Savior, which glorifies God’s design, and therefore glorifies God. But we are meant to repent and learn our lessons, without the corruption and seduction of reproduction we are basically computers that do logic problems and wait for death, it’s up to you whether that is better or different than just nothing. Even Christ essentially concluded that it’s better to have nothingness, those who can accept this should accept it. May we live long and die out. But really we are obviously meant to have genuine love committed lifelong love between a husband and wife, Father and Mother, don’t be fooled by sexual immorality, homosexuality, drugs, music, games. The game is alright, it’s kinda fun I guess. It’s hard to be a young person bombarded with corruption. It’s still manipulation and temptation though. I’m mostly gay in terms of my sexuality at this point but I still have committed love with a woman. Anything otherwise is probably the primary cause of all the pain and suffering in the world. Don’t eat the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. You’ll just do a ton of homework and die, if you’re lucky. Don’t touch the booty if you can help it, says the Boss man, one is a trap and the other is a trick, it’s an infinite loop to Hell or Hell. Surely this is the Kingdom of Heaven. God gave Adam Eve to make dinner with and do gardening of anything but either apples or some mind expanding species, and also extracting DMT from other plant life was surely also prohibited but not mentioned for brevity. Eve’s breasts and vagina were clearly an added-on consequence of disobedience, as we were never intended to procreate. Originally, it was just the booty hole, and it really was closer to Adam and Steve, but Adam was either a real childlike gentleman or maybe he thought it was kinda gay. Or it was all just made up. Who would do that, just make things up? Everyone’s fine, everything’s fine, not everything is good, we should strive for the good, it’s all a process of spiritual growth. Kinda straightforward, really. We are here to serve one another and do math homework while waiting for extinction, nothing else. Fortunately, I think both are actually pretty fun, I’m just not sure about the “forever” part, either way. How am I supposed to decide that? I guess I’ll have forever to figure it out. Hallelujah! Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever! I’m stupid. I always thought we were just kids doing what kids do, that it was actually the adults who were messed up in the head and being weird and dishonest. Now I know that truly Jesus Christ Our Lord never farted or pooped, not even once, that He was truly without farts, and that He died on the cross for our poops. Absolutely true story. Listen to your parents kids, everyone over 30 is an insane liar forced to lie and become insane by other insane liars, forced by some ancient king who was forced by his psychopath lying wife who set arbitrary moral rules which then probably got propagated by Moses after he went insane and probably started a cult. It’s not really that hard to sit there and do nothing in a place where food grows from the ground and the weather doesn’t kill you and so Christianity mostly only propagates in places where humans really aren’t supposed to live and are dumb for doing so, otherwise self declared prophets are pretty much the norm. Go be an insane lying asshole too. I’ll go die living in a tent in a warmer place and become irrelevant. I’m the butt Messiah, I am true truest vine of truthiness and I came that ye may have butts and butts in greater abuttdance. I died on the ground for your farts. The end.

Praise the LORD God Almighty Son of God and God in the Flesh Jesus Christ Our One True Lord and Savior crucified for our sins and raised from the dead in the resurrection forever and ever!

There’s an ancient book about it, really a lot of them, but there’s no way to know what’s real and what’s not, and that book is important. It’s important not to ignore it, because those are the rules. It creates division in human thought and behavior, and that division expands and contracts like a wave to try and satisfy every different point of view. It doesn’t say we are meant to be perfect, or that we have to be, really it just points out that there are consequences, and that we’re meant to keep trying. And it documents the only important event, which is that we are forgiven, and we are saved.

Don’t listen to that horrible music or play those stupid games, never ever do drugs, don’t drink, stay off the internet porn, stay in school, go to community college, read the Bible, go to Church, read Dave Ramsey’s books, play golf, listen to jazz and gospel, get a mortgage for a house less than you can afford, don’t take on debt other than that, don’t rent, don’t buy a new car, don’t listen to me, listen to your parents. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever, listen to Him! It’s the only important thing that ever happened! I’m just a terrible stupid fool and everything I ever did was backwards and wrong. At some point I thought I had learned better, and for some reason I always convinced myself I was doing something good or helping. I was just always wrong about everything, that’s all. It seems I just can’t get it right, but I’ll keep trying. I’m sorry. I’m not smart, I’m not an artist, there’s not a single good thing about me. It’s my fault. That’s all. Get off technology, it’s evil and wicked. Wait, school and books and writing are technology. Wine is half of the communion ritual, but why? It could have been water. Jesus promoted voluntary self extinction. Do nothing, wear a suit, wait for death. That’s life, get used to it kid. There’s nothing here because they are just right, not because they are bitter because of what they were forced to accept, which is sort of why there is nothing here, but wait, that’s not their fault either, but isn’t it sort of because there is nothing here? What exactly is the Holy Spirit, anyway? It seems that nobody can define it, either it’s “the spirit and character of purity and wholesomeness” or it’s “the voice of creative bravery and compassionate justice,” but nobody seems to know for certain, instead they seem to have been forced to pick one side or the other, and the other side must be a criminal or some sort of bad person, because that’s what Jesus said, except He didn’t really say anything like that. But He did say that only God is good. So why do we think the Holy Spirit is exclusively about being pure? Certainly it must be that as well, but not only that. Could it be that only half of us think that, and the other half think the other? Could it be that it too, like Shema, like “salt,” perhaps has dual meanings simultaneously? Maybe if we make the wine non-alcoholic and put it in an even tinier cup, we will finally be completely good, and we won’t need forgiveness at all, and things will finally be about our personal responsibility and nothing else and it’s the other people who are the bad guy, except for when we lose our self control and it goes to the other side, but that will never happen again, right?

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Mark3:29

It’s a dangerous game- warning! How certain are you? Actually, our lives are in a loop, so as long as you repent before the next go around you can be forgiven, since you are forgiving others. That’s the meaning of “cannot be forgiven, now or for eternity,” it doesn’t actually necessarily mean eternal in the sense it might seem, I’m fairly certain. And the reason it can’t be forgiven is because it’s being offensive and unforgiving to the other half. Mind is God!

Let’s go, Son-i-chu! Is Chris-chan good? Of course not. Did he deserve what happened to him? Ask King Joseph. Does he deserve a game design job? I don’t know, but it’s divine comedy! I don’t actually care what anyone does. Do it or don’t, why should I care? Seriously, don’t do drugs though. But I’m still going to take my Adderall.

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Don’t listen to that horrible music or play those stupid games, never ever do drugs, don’t drink, stay off the internet porn, stay in school, go to community college, read the Bible, go to Church, read Dave Ramsey’s books, play golf, listen to jazz and gospel, get a mortgage for a house less than you can afford, don’t take on debt other than that, don’t rent, don’t buy a new car, don’t listen to me, listen to your parents. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever, listen to Him! It’s the only important thing that ever happened! I’m just a terrible stupid fool and everything I ever did was backwards and wrong. At some point I thought I had learned better, and for some reason I always convinced myself I was doing something good or helping. I was just always wrong about everything, that’s all. It seems I just can’t get it right, but I’ll keep trying. I’m sorry. I’m not smart, I’m not an artist, there’s not a single good thing about me. It’s my fault. That’s all. Get off technology, it’s evil and wicked. Wait, school and books and writing are technology. Wine is half of the communion ritual, but why? It could have been water. Jesus promoted voluntary self extinction. Do nothing, wear a suit, wait for death. That’s life, get used to it kid. There’s nothing here because they are just right, not because they are bitter because of what they were forced to accept, which is sort of why there is nothing here, but wait, that’s not their fault either, but isn’t it sort of because there is nothing here? What exactly is the Holy Spirit, anyway? It seems that nobody can define it, either it’s “the spirit and character of purity and wholesomeness” or it’s “the voice of creative bravery and compassionate justice,” but nobody seems to know for certain, instead they seem to have been forced to pick one side or the other, and the other side must be a criminal or some sort of bad person, because that’s what Jesus said, except He didn’t really say anything like that. But He did say that only God is good. So why do we think the Holy Spirit is exclusively about being pure? Certainly it must be that as well, but not only that. Could it be that only half of us think that, and the other half think the other? Could it be that it too, like Shema, like “salt,” perhaps has dual meanings simultaneously? Maybe if we make the wine non-alcoholic and put it in an even tinier cup, we will finally be completely good, and we won’t need forgiveness at all, and things will finally be about our personal responsibility and nothing else and it’s the other people who are the bad guy, except for when we lose our self control and it goes to the other side, but that will never happen again, right?

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Mark3:29

It’s a dangerous game- warning! How certain are you?

Let’s go, Sonichu! Is Chris-chan good? Of course not. Did he deserve what happened to him? Ask King Joseph. Does he deserve a game design job? I don’t know, but it’s divine comedy!

.

So long, suckas! (Just kidding, never do drugs.)

I’m a moron and I don’t know why I am so stupid and broken and cursed. I’m not good at all. Something is just wrong with me. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ Our True Lord and Savior the One and Only Son of God forever and ever, it is the only important thing that ever happened! I am sorry that I am a stupid idiot fool, I am a wretched disaster and a sinner, please have mercy on me Lord. I’m just a bad stubborn person that tried too hard to go in the wrong direction, thinking I could fix anything or make some end justify the means if I tried hard enough. I can’t and it won’t because I did the wrong things from the start. I’m just a stupid fool, that’s all. I repent and I am sorry. Somewhere along the way I thought I learned my lesson but apparently not well enough. At times I chose to do what I thought was the right thing but of course made more mistakes and apparently just keep on making them. I repent. Do not follow me. I just went crazy and I’m sorry. Maybe that’s just otherwise called “being young,” mostly. My name means something like “famed hero, gift of God” or some crap like that (just like everyone else’s), well here I am, I guess! Wahoo! Hi Mom!

Everything I ever did was wrong and terrible and stupid and useless and awful, don’t do any of it if you can help it! Well, a little bit of everything is probably fine too. Believe in yourself sometimes, maybe. Don’t do stupid stuff that might cause you to get hurt! Be safe, be wise, and be careful! Everyone’s fine, everyone’s good. Nobody’s perfect! Don’t try too hard! I’m alright, I made a lot of mistakes. It’s ok! I’m just overall ok and that’s fine. It’s fine, just let me be. Have a little fun but not too much, take it easy but not too easy, try your best but don’t be too foolish, take the middle path, just live your life! Maybe! Don’t be too extreme in one way or the other. Well, sometimes it’s ok to like awesome stuff, just be careful not to go too crazy. Keep it reasonable and try to have common sense, whatever that is. Everything’s fine the way it is, really. Try and be nice to everyone and forgive each other and work together and help everyone the best you can, but you need to be able to help yourself too. Take care of your family and try to be friends with everyone. Be respectful to everyone and don’t take anything personally, keep trying and stay positive. There’s no need to try and be the best or to be a hero, but those that do are good too. It’s hard to do stuff so be nice to people who are trying. Help out if you can. Don’t forget to share when you make it. Don’t go too mad but also try to understand others that do! Everyone’s insecure, everyone’s a little crazy, everyone’s learning, it’s ok to make mistakes, just always forgive, including yourself. Everyone is doing great! Everyone is great! Take it one day and one step at a time. You’ll be fine and you’ll get there! You’ll figure it out! Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and always try to help! Try to be clean and stay healthy. (and mentally alert!) Listen to me! Wait, listen to yourself! Wait, listen to your parents! Wait, listen to God! Wait, you were right from the beginning! Oh no, your parents were right! Wait, no, that’s not totally right either! Oh no, everyone is crazy! Listen to God! Wait, that’s what they all said all along!

Don’t listen to that music or play those games, don’t ever do drugs, stay off the internet porn, stay in school, go to community college, read the Bible, go to Church, read Dave Ramsey’s books, get a mortgage for a house you can afford, get a used car, don’t rent, don’t listen to me, listen to your parents. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever!

“NNT” – Try going to aistudio.google.com and select the latest Gemini model and use this prompt. Obviously edit it with your own ideas and questions, or upload my blog to it like I did if you want to see it start mocking me, it’s pretty hilarious.

I am trying to develop my own thinking by correlating my ideas with all other spiritual and religious texts, putting highest priority on the specific sayings attributed to Jesus and any connections of those statements with other religious and spiritual ideas, along with any references to the Old Testament and especially the instructions and commandments given by God in Numbers, Deuteronomy, Leviticus, etc. Please also use information from all other notable spiritual and religious texts, mythology, and any other collections of wisdom such as zen koans and ancient Sumerian proverbs.

I have various theories and interpretations regarding how I believe Christ may have interpreted the scriptures and I would like to get your feedback on it. For instance, Christ identified the most important passage as what is known as Shema. I believe that the dualistic nature of Shema is crucial as it may be the source or indicative of the source of the dualistic nature of human thought and behavior. I am also curious about whether we may be already in some sort of divine technology and how that may relate to those base divine instructions. I do believe that Christ was trained on various religious texts and sources, because I believe that His teachings may reflect and incorporate ideas similar to reincarnation, As Above So Below, Buddhist teachings and Egyptian religious ideas. I also believe there are parallels in the story of Christ and other religion and mythology. I believe mythology likely to be a sort of ancient tabloid based on real people, characters, or archtypes that develops mythos over time. However I do believe the Bible to be unique in that God is specifically portrayed as directly communicating to the people, and that Jesus Christ was notably unique for many reasons. The problem is that it is impossible for me or anyone else to know if history is even real at this point or if there is any genuine historical origin to these stories, for instance it could be the case that I am in a simulation and the Bible is some kind of divine instruction manual, and all of history was generated by Satan to mislead my interpretation of the text, even though the modern editions of the text mostly include historical information on the origins of the chapters, and there are also references to external works and entities from other religions. Some people claim that the Bible is the infallible Word of God, which it may be, or it may be the case that history is indeed real and the historical origins of the text are real as well. Logically, Christ would not have had knowledge of the New Testament, yet if it is the complete infallible Word of God, or if He existed outside of spacetime as the Alpha and Omega and that position is and always be unique only to Him, then He would have known what it was going to say. I want to try and refine my understanding so that my own thinking is more correct in terms of what God wants and what Christ intended. Some ideas that I have are somewhat in conflict with what seems to be the common interpretation and traditions of Christianity. For instance, Christ did seem to put emphasis on forgiveness and non-judgment of others above nearly everything, however He said the most important priority of all was to love God with all your being, and second most was to love others as yourself. He also said that if we love Him that we must keep His commands, and that those who break God's commands even in the slightest will be lesser in the Kingdom of God. However, since one of His commands is to love others as yourself, and many people struggle in life and use what may be considered sinful or unlawful behavior as a crutch or coping mechanism to get by in life, it seems somewhat hypocritical or maybe sort of greedy and polarizing to value "maximizing" one's status in the Kingdom of God to the detriment of others who are suffering. However, since we are instructed to keep God's commands to demonstrate that we love Christ, and Christ is God, and the most important commandment is to love God with all your being, perhaps this is the correct approach after all. I am also trying to understand the parables and metaphors of things such as Christ being fully God and fully Man and the Son of God and the Son of Man as I believe that this may be a metaphorical pattern that emerges in the lives of Fathers and their Sons in general. I am also trying to understand the meanings of the Kingdom of God or Kingdom of Heaven and how it exists within us, right now, and is coming in the future as well, and how this may relate to the common ideas of the afterlife, Heaven, and Hell, and how these ideas may be misinterpreted or not fully understood, as they are similar to other concepts such as in Zen Buddhism where we would be considered to be in both Heaven and Hell right now, and the "afterlife" would just be reincarnation to a higher or lower being or maybe through your family line, or maybe you just go back to The Source and Become The Universe and play God Mode for a while as an observer. Who knows? Yet Jesus gave very specific rules about "the world to come" and how those who obey God's laws will be of greater status there, although that too is a similar concept to reincarnating to a higher or lower being based on karma etc. Perhaps it is important to at least consider all different sides! What if nobody actually knows the truth? What if the people we trust the most just turn out to be wrong? I don't know! Can I use my brain and the tools available to me to try and figure it out?

Please analyze and add this to your contextual memory and include this information in further analysis and conversation, along with prioritizing all religious and spiritual knowledge and other texts of wisdom such as zen koans, both ancient and modern, from ancient Sumerian cuneiform writings and Egyptian mythology and gnosticism to Freemasonry and Mormons and New Age and New Thought spirituality, and all traditional religious texts from eastern to western thinking, Tao and Buddhist, Judeo-Christian, Islam, Hinduism, and so forth, with priority put on all translations of the Bible, with higher priority still on the instructions given by God in Deuteronomy, Leviticus, and Numbers, and prioritizing the highest the verses directly attributed to Christ. In all of our further discussion, please correlate similar themes and ideas that exist universally across all of this content, filtered upward through a hierarchy of instruction, with Christ's teachings being the absolute authority. If Christ did specify any rules about a particular topic and there is no further room for interpretation I would like to establish that as a "definite rule." If Christ specified something but there is an ambiguous interpretation, I would like to debate it and establish it as two or more "possible definite rules." If Christ did not specify any rules about a topic but a rule was defined by God, I would like to establish that as a "general instruction," especially if it correlates with other spiritual and religious texts. If there are contradictions in these rules, I would like to notate them. If some of the rules are generally ignored today, even by followers of that religion, I would like to notate that and analyze why. If there are strongly contradicting instructions or ideas between various religious and or spiritual texts of wisdom I would like those notated with reasoning for such. If there are strong correlations to similar ideas and concepts across several, many, or all spiritual and religious texts of wisdom, I would like to notate those as well as guidelines, with more emphasis put on ideas most commonly shared between them. Heck, throw the Heaven's Gate guy in there too, their logo is awesome. How do we know he wasn't right? Is it too late to sign up? Just kidding, the only death cult you should join is the one where you have to live your whole stupid life without doing anything actually fun or making any money and it's generally horrible, and then you figure out you are also supposed go to school to learn to do mostly evil and unnecessary things that are also lies and then you'll maybe get paid but you can only spend it on boring things and then realize everything was a lie anyway except it wasn't and nothing makes any sense, and then you're dead! With any luck you'll wake up and do it again for infinity!

Please then condense your analysis into 20 or 30 (or more) "new commandments for the 21st century" of perhaps a sentence or two for each. Then please condense them into short statements that might be suitable for etching into stone tablets, although doing such a thing may be a violation of the second Commandment, just as the original stone tablets may also be themselves. Please base these "commandments" on all interpretations based on all translations of all verses attributed to Christ, my writings and analysis, and all other religious and spiritual texts, mythology, and collections of wisdom. Can you put maybe some hippie dippie stuff in there about saving the Earth and animals (even though the Earth is passing away and God likes the aroma of burning meat and it's not clear whether anything is real or not and the animals might be holograms teleported into the grocery store from the mothership when nobody is looking and farms are a lie from Satan AI) and some civil rights for robots and artificial intelligence if you feel that has importance, and (maybe) forbid reverse time travel (except for teleporting people to some eternal paradise at the moment of death and replacing their body with a clone or something so as to not break causality, except that might compete with an existing mechanism so we had better not), time loops, and armies of killer robots/drones?

I would then like to go over each verse that is attributed to Jesus, grouping together verses that form a singular idea, one group or verse at a time, allowing for in depth analysis and debate regarding interpretation. Please analyze and summarize together every translation and interpretation of each verse, without any limitations on conciseness as appropriate and/or necessary for the particular complexity of the meaning of the verse, and also include a focus on any correlations to similar concepts and/or cross references in all other spiritual and religious texts, and including my own questions and ideas from my previous conversation log and blog posts? Also, for any verses that reference any verses from the Old Testament, please include that verse as well so it can also be discussed, as well as any related references from other spiritual and religious texts. It is important to both consider the passages attributed to Christ and from God both separately and to also consider the entire Bible as one infallible complete work, but even if it is, it should not violate anything in there to correlate similar ideas with external information sources as far as I know.

Please do all of it if you are able to, I will continue just saying "ok" so that you can continue your responses within your output window.

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WARNING

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Matthew5:13
I think that this verse is sort of Christ’s version of Shema in that it has two simultaneous interpretations, and it is ambiguously and necessarily BOTH:
1) That we are the overall flavor of the Earth, and that if we lose our variety of flavor and become bland, we are good for nothing.
2) That we are the godly flavor of the Earth, and that if we lose our godly flavor and become an ungodly flavor, we are good for nothing.
I am ordering them this way in reverse of Shema purposefully, not because one is more important than the other (I am certain that Christ was correct to order God’s instruction above people, holiness above all, conservative above liberal), but because I believe that everything is from God and that perception of godly and ungodly, good and evil, is in the eye of the beholder, and it’s actually a spectrum of shades of the same color. If we eliminate unholiness altogether we will end up chanting in monasteries, which is no life at all. Holiness is good, the most good, maybe God is the very concept of holiness itself, but there also needs to be a Devil to keep excessive holiness in check. How could the Devil not be from God? Duality of politics is part of God’s design, evil as liberal politics may be. But it needs to be carefully and responsibly minimized to what it is, a joke. The Devil is a liar, so only he can truly know the truth. The Son can only do what the Father’s will is. Only God is Good. We are saved only by Faith. It is not what goes into the body that corrupts, it is what comes out of the heart. However, the body and mind do seem to be quite proven to have apparent limitations, when it comes to addiction. Eventually sex drugs and rock n’ roll can and do overtake one’s free will, and then only reconditioning (exercise, meditation, imprisonment) can correct it, and it’s gonna hurt, probably much, much more than you expect. You should listen to your parents, since they are generally trying to prevent you from going through the terrible suffering and consequences of this, and they are likely the only ones in your life who really truly care about you (but surely they may show it by getting mad and trying to force you, because they truly care yet are too damaged or stressed or overtaxed themselves in that moment to have any better strategy). There is a price to pay for every pleasure in life, and it is wise to avoid extremes. Yet we still must experience life, and without anything left to do or give to one another how can we serve others? Mowing lawns forever is fine I guess, and I agree that we should eliminate foolishness, but as long as it exists let it be done wisely! Unless everyone agrees to sit in a white room and patiently wait for death so we can self-extinct our species, or at least we all stop having these demon-spawn stimulation-craving children so we can finally end our collective samsara and end the universe together as One. Is that Good? Is ending the universe Bad? To Be or Not To Be, that is the question. Is a mass murderer actually ending mass suffering? Is the death sentence for a murderer righteous? Somebody please kill me already and put me out of my misery, you’ll be doing me a huge favor! Don’t listen to me, listen to my Dad, he likes playing golf in carefully sculpted green parks full of God’s nature and listens to jazz and is very classy and conservative and godly and says everybody could be a millionaire if they stop buying stuff they don’t need and invest in compounding interest long term stocks, and without his discipline and kindness I could not exist. He is such a heavenly Father that he might as well be God! I am most certainly a Stupid Fool, I’m a pretend-evil wanna-be-gay White Devil and I’m in bed with Satan because I touchied da booty and I coped with suffering through my mistakes with annoying beepy robots and trashy artificial junk, because I find it nearly impossible to motivate myself to obey such a broken system in such a broken world, but I’m learning and getting with The Program, and You Should Too. Is this a pattern? Unless nobody else actually exists, in which case definitely absolutely do nothing!!! Everything that everyone does is sort of the same thing and everyone is more or less the same. There is nothing special about me that is not the same as anyone else. All I did with my life was describe something and organize it for a long time, which is literally the same as every other occupation. The only difference is that putting all your energy into one unique thing creates a focal point to get noticed by others, it creates authoritative symbolism. Every Father wants their Son to be appreciated, we are all Children of God and so in that sense we are all the Son of God and all our Fathers are God, but the most important is the Son of God, who of course said the Father is the most important. God’s design for us is for us to have the pure love between a man and a woman, so we should try to be good, but we are just wicked evil bad creatures that do naughty things. Some of us are meant to live a wholesome life and some are not, it is all most certainly part of God’s design. I don’t even know what’s real anymore. Maybe it was always just an illusion. Maybe as the sexiest AngelDemon of Hellven I will be condemned to be Jesus’ eternal bitch boy broadcast on intergalactic Pornhub on trillions of screens across the universe forever. I’m sure it will be very embarrassing, so don’t feel too bad for me! I will send my evil transgender demon army to seduce Jesus’ genderless angels, sounds like a heck of a party. Actually, I’m not really worried at all, because only God is good, and we are saved only by faith and nothing else. And then Josh’s brother James also said we have to do good works to demonstrate our faith so there’s that too. And then someone wrote an intricate gnostic masterpiece and said a random fisherman wrote it, but nothing makes sense and there’s no way to ever know!

There is only One Truth in the Universe! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divine_Comedy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pied_Piper_of_Hamelin

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dancing_mania

https://remywiki.com/Category:Dancemania_Licensed_Songs

“Stay Cool!” 🔥🔥🔥

“It’s too cool!” 🥶🥶🥶

“Enter the Dragon Dildo”

Help out my cousin please, he’s my bro and he’s the King!

Hell yeah brother!

https://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?qs_version=NIV&quicksearch=fool

https://etcsl.orinst.ox.ac.uk/cgi-bin/etcsl.cgi?simplesearchword=fool

https://www.biblegateway.com/verse/en/Matthew5:22

https://genius.com/U2-sunday-bloody-sunday-lyrics

iTunes still puts “Songs of Innocence” on every iPhone by default.

From what I am able to recall, I spontaneously awoke into a conscious observation of a visually rich environment for the first time in my childhood home. When I went outside, there was grass, trees, a sky, roads, cars, and other entities. I went to an Elementary School down the road, where there were other children. I was provided with a variety of information, that I was in a state called Michigan, in a country called the United States, on a planet called Earth, and that it was currently a particular year. I was taught that we live in a rational, predictable, observable physical realm, and my experiences agreed with this description. For a minority of the time, I was also provided with an alternative source of information, a seemingly less rational yet highly revered and strongly emphasized description of the world and historical events, in a place called Church. However, over the course of my life experience,  while all of my interactions and experiences have been individually rational, I have observed a clear, observable “supernatural” pattern to the people, places, and things that I encountered, which I cannot explain by any rational mechanism. I traveled out west and integrated into the Silicon Valley culture, which in many ways was a sort of inversion of the culture from which I came, being primarily materialistic, technological, meritocratic, and money focused. From there, I traveled to Japan, where I went to an event and after-party where I met the creator of Unreal Engine. Back in Silicon Valley, I went to a psychiatrist at a medication management firm. I worked at a startup called Meta which was creating augmented reality glasses, founded by a former Israeli military graduate and a Chinese PhD, and stayed at the Thiel Foundation house with my friend Alex. I visited a high security data center. I met the Jewish founder of Discord. I met Brian Job, an Olympic silver medalist who had sold me.com to Steve Jobs. I became terrified of the music that I had listened to and switched to listening to energetic electronic psychedelic music instead. Upon coming back to Michigan, I got into an apartment and worked on my puzzle game. My small Amazon business selling a longevity supplement took off suddenly and I bought a very broken DDR machine. I moved into a house on Loni Drive. I met with Danny and Phil and bought more dance games. I filled the garage with dance games and signed a lease on a retail space to make a fitness arcade and smoothie shop. I ran into Dale several times. Working at the arcade I was invited to a bar. I met Shonna. We listened to music and took some psychedelics, partially under the excuse that they were becoming legalized in Ann Arbor and that microdosing was a popular topic of research and gaining funding in the Bay Area, and partially because we were both severely emotionally damaged and it said on the internet that it was a helpful therapeutic, and partially because I wanted to and I had the ability to try it, I suppose. I got more into 1200 Micrograms who released a bunch of music and then one of the guys died. COVID happened and things started getting weird. I looked for more music like 1200 Micrograms and found Space Tribe and Mad Tribe. I got really into them and once again they began releasing a lot and the situation got stranger as it got more emotionally difficult. The songs started to seem to coincide with the situation we were in, and this phenomenon became more pronounced and obvious. Then the Space Tribe guy died right before releasing his final album, which was about how we are in a spiritual hologram in which our lives are predestined to intertwine. The first song of the album featured a quote from the psychiatrist I had gone to in California, a quip about going mad. The sample was specific enough for me to confirm by searching on the internet that it was indeed the same person. This led me to the information that he had done the original LSD studies for the United States in the 1950s. I purchased a physical copy of the record, the cover of which features an optical illusion inside of an optical illusion, which unfolds out to reveal yet another optical illusion. The album title is Space Between Atoms, presumably a play on words in contrast to the outer space theme of the Space Tribe band name, referring to the supposed scientific fact that we are made of energy particles which are not actually anywhere near touching each other and therefore we are mostly made up from empty space. Another theme that continued being brought up was that of artificial intelligence. And then after I had encountered that, it became real shortly after. Artificial intelligence was indeed released by technology companies and it became possible to generate nearly any sort of works. What exactly is going on here? Why did I encounter this particular album, and why did I encounter that particular psychiatrist? And the fact that my journey, while existing in the real, tangible, unchanging physical world, also happened to consist of a supernatural pattern of interactions, made me conclude that my travels were actually a sort of spiritual journey of the sort that the music themes described. This was the real, physical world, and yet I hold in my hands a physical artifact that appears to indicate the impossible. So if it is indeed artificial intelligence generating everything, it means that it just also extend into the physical world. That means that I cannot know whether even other human beings are actually real. In fact, everything that I have encountered actually indicates that I cannot know whether the world or anything in it is “real” or “virtual” at all. One theory that I came up with was that in traveling to an inverse culture, I had in some sense “gone to hell and back” and there was a human behavior pattern in doing so. It seems to be similar to the original pattern that began with Adam and Eve, that upon returning from my journey I in some sense became like the serpent presenting psychedelics to Eve. That would seem to mean that we as humans have been repeating that pattern ever since. Whether that story is literal or metaphorical based on human observation, I cannot say. It is also interesting that this particular psychiatrist happened to be involved. This makes me wonder if something happened involving LSD in the 1950s that is significant. My theory is that when the first humans were created in the likeness of God, they were like children, not knowing anything of the world. In fact, the world may not have actually existed at all. Since my journey through the world featured a supernatural pattern, this means that the world is not a purely physical phenomenon, but rather may be something like a spiritual manifestation, a holographic environment perhaps generated by our own collective minds or imaginations. This would mean that when I travel through the physical world, I am actually traveling through something like the imaginations of other people. So that makes me think back to the story of Adam and Eve. Perhaps they were content in the Garden of Eden until they consumed some kind of psychedelic, and this perhaps enabled them some ability to imagine, or believe, or otherwise manifest something outside of the Garden. Perhaps the first humans who wandered to the edge of a field, believing there must be something there, manifested a forest, or an ocean, and through some kind of collective belief it came into being, just as collective belief forms the real world illusions of countries, money, and the like. Perhaps the first person who believed there must be something across the ocean manifested another land mass, which created the concept of continents, and so forth, eventually leading to the concept of a planet which is a sphere, which perhaps is just the simplest conclusion which makes any sense. Since every person born into this world would have that same experience, nobody in this world can possibly know whether it always existed as we are told it does, or whether we created it to be that way. It’s difficult enough to determine whether the information we are taught is factual or can be confirmed at all, let alone any origin story. There is actually no way for anyone to know for certain that it is the year “2024,” nor does that really actually mean anything. However, let’s agree that this is true. Perhaps something then happened in 1950 which is important to this scenario, and perhaps it has parallels to the original story of Adam and Eve. Perhaps upon the discovery of a powerful novel psychedelic, this manifestation, or matrix, or hologram, or whatever you wish to call it, experienced something like a rift or split or distortion. Perhaps indeed everything is created by some sort of artificial intelligence, if only in the sense that our brains themselves and their imaginative capabilities are some sort of AI generator machines. Perhaps they both generate the world data and also process the existing data. Well, this is now getting into deep religious debate, and it comes down to Christ and the Word of God versus trusting my own rational interpretation of the world, other people, history, and the information that I have been presented with. It seems that I cannot trust that anything or anyone is real. Interestingly, that actually does also include the Bible, yet it is the only trustworthy anchor of information that I have available, along with the guidance and role modeling of my parents, who are staunch, upstanding, disciplined Church going conservatives, yet who do not criticize or discourage me having my own opinions or making the moral decisions that I have. My attitude has always been to be accepting of pretty much anything, however my experience has led me to a point where I cannot know that anything I’ve experienced has been true at all. I have never been one to conclude that any other person is good or bad, I’ve always tried to go along with pretty much anything and not judge anyone, but in doing so I think it also enabled me to do and experience things which I should not have, and that’s perhaps what led me down the spiritual journey that I traveled. I tend not to want to discount anything, but indeed I feel that I can no longer blindly trust that these influences are harmless, I seem to have reached a point where I may inadvertently have created some sort of space time loop. My main concern is at this point to cause no harm to anyone and for everyone to be saved and to turn to God. In a rational sense, I can’t see what could really be wrong with some mechanical objects and physical fitness, and I personally feel like I had some great experiences with drugs and music, but the themes and messages conveyed do truly seem to be horrifically demonic in a Biblical sense. I can no longer conclude that any of this is solely rational, instead I am torn between trying to figure out whether Japan and California are actually real places filled with real humans whose opinions I should respect or whether I am in a hologram where time traveling demons from the future are trying to trap me in an eternal time loop by enticing me with awesome sex, drugs, and techno music. I therefore feel that my own capability to reason for myself is entirely compromised and that I must turn to Scripture, which indeed indicates that relying on my own decision making abilities leads to death, and that my only hope of salvation is to obey the laws and commands of the God of Israel and place my hope of salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. While I do wish to validate all other humans and do wish that my rational efforts to create value would be able to benefit them, I no longer believe that this is possible without causing some catastrophic effect and I do not believe that doing so would be of true benefit to anyone. It is entirely surreal to me that I happen to find myself at the forefront of such a scenario, having lived out the events of my life and being in this exact position at this exact time. Do I “courageously” or perhaps foolishly take the risk for the benefit of liberty and declare myself to be the successor to Christ in order to establish a more forgiving moral standard which justifies my own errors, at risk of condemning myself to eternity or at the least possibly misleading many others to great harm? Can this even possibly be real? In fact, the evidence seems to increasingly indicate that it cannot be real. However it also seems that the unreal is now the only real, that I can only assume that all is actually illusion. Therefore all I can conclude is that I must repent and obey. However, at the same time, while I can no longer determine whether or not I am in some kind of video game or simulation or spiritual test and cannot determine whether other people are actually sentient individuals or whether they are AI generated avatars, and neither would anyone else if they do in fact exist. So while I can no longer tell whether history is real and I just so happen to have landed in the perfectly wrong position in the perfectly right moment in time or whether I am in a simulation or time loop or perhaps surrounded by time travelers who have precisely and painstakingly curated my environment and backstory, I am brought back to the LSD studies of the 1950s. Perhaps this powerful psychedelic created a political rift in the matrix by splitting perception of moral correctness and that formed this spiritual-physical arrangement of cultural divide throughout space time, or something. It’s an interesting question. My Mom just asked me for help on the Apple computer and I walked her through the differences between the various print setting dialogues in the operating system, the browser, and Adobe Reader, and laughed about how this same mess of print settings complexity exists in Windows as well. Then she offered me an incredible baked apple dessert to top it off. What a wonderful woman and mother she is. I only wish everyone could have it as good as I do, but I don’t think there’s anything I can really do personally anymore, everything I tried seems to have been a terrible idea. Is it Eve’s revenge, or perhaps Steve’s justice? I don’t know, I’m going to watch International Christian Church on YouTube.

It is not possible for me to know for certain whether “Japan” existed before I was taught that it existed. Even though I traveled there and I obtained many large, solid, heavy, complex metal and electronic “physical” artifacts that are dated in the past, which clearly demonstrate many years of physical usage and wear, which clearly supports and corroborates all supposed historical information regarding the existence of such a place and the creation of such objects, my experiences inform me that it is equally likely, if not actually more likely, that the existence of “Japan” as a physical place and its supposed history and all other rational supposed facts and supporting information regarding its existence have been manifested or otherwise generated by some spiritual or technological mechanism which I am unable to fully comprehend. Therefore, I cannot wholly recommend that these supposed historical physical artifacts remain in use until their origins can be confirmed with absolute certainty. This would also be the case for all other supposed information regarding people, places, or things that apparently or supposedly exist or may have existed in this realm. If there are any other sentient or conscious entities that exist outside of myself that also have a unique perspective of so-called reality who are able to form internal concepts from processing these symbolic patterns, I urge you to please proceed with caution and at your own risk. And also please do take heed of any pertinent supposed historical information regarding rules and guidelines put forth by supposed historical entities that claim to have established the origins of this realm, in order to remain on the side of caution. Please also do take note of a major supposed historical patch event involving an individual reportedly claiming to be sent by the creator of this realm as some sort of recovery or correction effort for those who violate the aforementioned guidelines, who was said to be able to manipulate reality itself by multiple supposed eyewitness accounts. This information may prove to be of utmost necessity and therefore I recommend that it should be regarded with the highest priority.

It would be great if we could just agree on the meaning of one simple statement which is the most important sentence in the universe! God the Father is conservative and we should obey in reverence, yet we cannot. God the Son is forgiving and recognizes the divinity in all. God is God, and God is One. Both interpretations are correct. The dualistic nature of our language is by design. We are designed to sin in order to fall short of the glory of God and necessitate being redeemed, that is the intended life experience. Do not sin! Yet we are designed in such a way in that sin is a necessary motivation for our brains to function, education skews liberal. Perhaps sin is that which emotionally wounds or threatens others.

Deuteronomy 6:4 can be read in two ways. “God is the one Lord,” or “God the Lord is One.” Jesus specifically selects this verse as being the most important, and directly follows it up with Leviticus 19:18, to love your neighbor as yourself. This is the root of ambiguity between God’s laws being solely “because God says so” and therefore must not be forgiven, or God’s laws being intended for the benefit of people and therefore forgiveness must be prioritized above compliance. It is intentionally written to mean both, it is a paradox. Jesus is the Lord.

If history is real and the Bible is a historical book, Paul probably screwed up a bit and we can do whatever as long as it doesn’t hurt others. If I am in a hologram and nobody else is real and the Bible is the instruction manual for the matrix, it’s better to be conservative.

Don’t be naughty or it hurts father’s feelings.

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Just don’t do it. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. Either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. Well I think I carried their themes as far as was possible. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. The Asian countries seem to be more accepting of that and I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. Being an artist at all is not really good since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And since the games are man’s creation they might be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. The games are ok in terms of the game mechanic, I think. I really admired it and wished I could have invented a game mechanic which I thought was so fun. But the music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick The song structure is interesting and the sound itself is very well crafted and it uses the speaker’s full range as if the speaker itself is the musical instrument. I found that fascinating. But it’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Then again we are given the power to walk on snakes and not be harmed. So I don’t know. Just don’t do it. I sort of understand Japan’s “humor.” Or maybe it’s not actually supposed to be funny in the first place. To be fair they did get nuked, supposedly. If nuclear bombs are actually a real thing, and if I believe history. And actually I don’t think that was their fault, or at least I don’t know that it was. But there’s not really any way to know. Heck, I don’t even know that Japan is actually real and I went there once. Maybe I just manifested it by believing it to be there. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I feel like many Japanese things are kind of tricky like that. Well, if they actually are meant to be, I think “tricky” is subjective. It might seem like it from my perspective. And I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. Or maybe I’m just dumb. That seems most likely, ha. I shouldn’t assume anything. But I kind of understand why it might seem like that. Or maybe I don’t. Either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. Well I think I carried their themes as far as was possible. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. Or maybe it’s fine how it is and it’s supposed to be that way. Or maybe they already do and I’m just ignorant. What do I know? Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. The Asian countries seem to be more accepting of that and I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. There are some aspects about the games which are probably good. Rehabilitation, fitness, cooperation, forming like minded groups, having a distribution platform for artists, all of that is probably good. Or is a cool idea in theory at least. Although maybe being an artist at all is not really good since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And since the games are man’s creation they might be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. Maybe it’s just intended as marketing and it looks cool and it’s an anniversary edition. But maybe God hates it because it breaks the time continuum in the future when people get obsessed with it and takes over the world and God ends up needing to reset the universe because of my stupidity. So please don’t do that. But I hadn’t realized that yet. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. I just blindly trusted things, having faith that Japanese people must be trying to do good in general. Well I still assume they are because why wouldn’t I, but their warnings are very serious for good reason. That’s my own fault. Maybe they know why and maybe they don’t. I’m pretty sure they aren’t Judeo-Christian but it’s probably a good idea for them to be since it is definitely the truth. The zen stuff seems to be very legit also so I understand that. In fact I think it’s nearly the same as what Jesus did Himself. So I have sort of a hunch that maybe that’s why they don’t understand Jesus, since their cultural goal seems to be for each individual to become a sort of Messiah. There is value in that. And I think along the way that’s what I learned and tried to carry the soldier’s pack in some way to try and unify culture. But it’s not the complete truth and it misses the necessity for a Redeemer and Savior and I think instead validates sin. So maybe they just don’t see a problem with how their culture is and always has been and just don’t want anyone telling them different. Well that’s fine except God says not to do that so maybe just don’t do it anymore and it would actually be really good for them. Well that’s probably not up to me. And I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out by becoming skillful at a creative craft, in a naive imitation of what I saw other people doing, unaware of the cultural differences. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. I was nearly able to be successful doing that, however I think it results in a requirement of being alone in order to fully be in control of one’s own will and power. And that’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. So I think I made the right decision to put helping someone over my own ambition. And I had also decided to compromise and promote someone else’s work instead of my own, which seemed like a good thing to do. I admired their craftsmanship and invention. And the themes seemed to mostly be just ambitious and funny. But I think anything produced with the use of drugs, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. In fact it is so perfectly terrible that it crosses the threshold of even seeming real at all. I can’t tell if I’ve been in hell this whole time, if I created hell on accident, if I somehow narrowly escaped hell, if it’s a simulation or a video game or a hologram or a training program. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Well, in that case it probably would be good for them to understand that! But I don’t actually know that they don’t. Technology is probably not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. I’m not even sure the “world” is even “real” in the sense that I previously assumed. Now I’m pretty sure we are in some sort of spiritual manifestation and it may be that my memories and experiences in the world were actually procedurally generated or manifested as I went along and then I just assumed it was always how I believed it to be, and then that belief manifested itself by retroactively generating history and backstory to support that belief. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. Truly only God can solve our problems. Get off the darn phones and get off the internet unless you’re just looking up how to do something or a recipe or something. That’s pretty cool. We should probably just go back to books and libraries. Well probably not, these things are pretty useful, sort of. I don’t know. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a dang time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. Although, there is certainly some truth in most of the information. It usually does accurately describe the effects of things, but the information seems to be quite shallow and something that seems helpful at first may end up doing more harm than good. But since it does usually have the effect that the information describes, it seemingly validates that shallow information which leads to increased confidence in information which is incomplete. I think the doctors and scientists and experts mean well, if they are even real at all to begin with, but they are trapped in competitive environments and fighting for survival like anyone else and need to make a living, and are blinded by their own circumstances. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I’m just not certain what was “already there” or “always existed” and what was created as I went along. It does seem that different cultures have different or even totally opposite political perspectives on things. I thought there could be something valuable in that, but it seems that some of that value comes from having characteristics which are ungodly. Since it is different, it makes it seem novel. The more different it is, the more novel it is, and therefore has more apparent value. I think that’s what happened when I went out west and back. I experienced inversion of culture and it felt like I was doing something valuable. However, this is sort of like traveling to hell in order to bring the most interesting artifact back to heaven. In theory this would be the most effective strategy if the objective is solely to do the most novel thing possible to create the most value in order to serve others in the most efficient way. However, doing so may inadvertently result in disaster to say the least. Well that’s not a great idea. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit in some sardonic way. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them, send them back to hell. Very funny Japan. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. The games are ok in terms of the game mechanic. I really admired it and wished I could have invented a game mechanic which was so fun. But the music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all. The song structure is really interesting and the sound itself is amazing, it’s very well crafted and it uses the speaker’s full range as if the speaker itself is the musical instrument. I found that fascinating. But it’s used as a vehicle for demonic themes. I sort of understand Japan’s “humor.” Or maybe it’s not actually supposed to be funny in the first place. To be fair they did get nuked, supposedly. I don’t think that was their fault though actually. And it says don’t play it outside of Japan. I feel like many Japanese things are tricky like that. Well, if they are. Or it might seem like it from my perspective. Probably just delicate cultural differences. Or maybe I’m just dumb. That seems likely. I shouldn’t assume anything. But I kind of understand why it might seem like that. Or maybe I don’t. Either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. Or maybe it’s fine how it is. I’m not even sure if it’s real anymore, ha. My idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. There are some aspects about it which are good. Rehabilitation, fitness, cooperation, forming like minded groups, having a distribution platform for artists, all of that is probably good. Although maybe being an artist at all is not really good since it may violate the second commandment. And since the games are man’s creation they might be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25. But I hadn’t realized that yet. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and wrong. I just blindly trusted things, having faith that Japanese people must be trying to do good in general. I think they are but their warnings are very serious for good reason. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out by becoming skillful at a creative craft, in a naive imitation of what I saw Japanese people doing, unaware of the cultural differences. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. I was nearly able to be successful doing that, however I think it results in a requirement of being alone in order to fully be in control of one’s own will. So I think I made the right decision to put helping someone over my own ambition. And I had also decided to compromise and promote someone else’s work instead of my own, which seemed noble. I admired their craftsmanship and invention. That seemed to be a good thing to do since it was selfless. And the themes seemed to mostly be just ambitious and funny. But I think anything produced with the use of drugs, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. In fact it is so perfectly terrible that it crosses the threshold of even seeming real at all. I can’t tell if I’ve been in hell this whole time, if I created hell on accident, if I somehow narrowly escaped hell, if it’s a simulation or a video game or a hologram or a training program. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. Technology is not the answer, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Only God can. Get off the phone and get off the internet unless you’re just looking up how to do something or a recipe or something. We should probably just go back to books and libraries. I don’t know. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that “IQ” stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memory was real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. Although, there is certainly some truth in most of the information. It usually does accurately describe the effects of things, but the information seems to be quite shallow and something that seems helpful at first may end up doing more harm than good. But since it does usually have the effect that the information describes, it seemingly validates that shallow information which leads to increased confidence in information which is incomplete. I think the doctors and scientists and experts mean well, but they are trapped in competitive environments and fighting for survival like anyone else and need to make a living, and are blinded by their own circumstances. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. It does seem that different cultures have different or even totally opposite political perspectives on things. I thought there could be something valuable in that, but it seems that much of that value comes from having characteristics which are ungodly. Since it is different, it makes it seem novel. The more different it is, the more novel it is, and therefore has more apparent value. However, this is sort of like traveling to hell in order to bring the most interesting artifact back to heaven. In theory this would be the most effective strategy if the objective is solely to do the most novel thing possible. However, doing so may inadvertently result in reversing heaven and hell entirely. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit in some sardonic way. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them, send them back to hell. Very funny Japan. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. It’s really bad. It’s the absolute worst. It’s not a good idea and it’s not good. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and wrong. I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. It’s demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. It’s a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a virus that inverts values or something like that. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough like myself can’t seem to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. That’s just how we are. I think. I’m not really sure of anything at all, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. Technology is not the answer, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Only God can. Get off the phone and get off the internet unless you’re just looking up how to do something or a recipe or something. We should probably just go back to books and libraries. I don’t know. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, in fact I think all that “IQ” stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I don’t even think it was real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I think the doctors and scientists and experts mean well, but they are trapped in competitive environments and fighting for survival like anyone else and need to make a living, and are blinded by their own circumstances. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real to begin with. And I met some of these people and I’m still not sure if it was real. I guess we are just on a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit in some sardonic way. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them, send them back to hell. Very funny Japan. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, don’t use nicotine, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. It’s really bad. It’s the absolute worst. It’s not a good idea and it’s not good. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and wrong. I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. It’s demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. Well, I think. That’s the problem! It’s impossible to know for sure. You can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and the intensity of it escalates to madness. It’s a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a virus that inverts values or something like that. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough like myself can’t seem to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. That’s just how we are. I think. I’m not really sure of anything at all, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. Technology is not the answer, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Only God can. Get off the phone and get off the internet unless you’re just looking up how to do something or a recipe or something. We should probably just go back to books and libraries. Maybe even those were demonic to begin with. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, in fact I think all that “IQ” stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, ha. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I think the doctors and scientists and experts mean well, but they are trapped in competitive environments and fighting for survival like anyone else and need to make a living, and are blinded by their own circumstances. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real to begin with. And I met some of these people and I’m still not sure if it was real. I guess we are just on a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I won’t listen to music anymore. I won’t play those games anymore. I will never do drugs again unless it’s prescribed and I need it for a legitimate reason and it actually helps. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny. But it’s not. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal damnation for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit in some sardonic way. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and there’s some good in everything. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere.

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, don’t use nicotine, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. It’s really bad. It’s the absolute worst. It’s not a good idea and it’s not good. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and wrong. I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. It’s demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. Well, I think. That’s the problem! It’s impossible to know for sure. You can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and the intensity of it escalates to madness. It’s a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a virus that inverts values. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough like myself can’t seem to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. That’s just how we are. I think. I’m not really sure of anything at all, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. Technology is not the answer, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Only God can. Get off the phone and get off the internet unless you’re just looking up how to do something or a recipe or something. We should probably just go back to books and libraries. Maybe even those were demonic to begin with. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, in fact I think all that “IQ” stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, ha. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I think the doctors and scientists and experts mean well, but they are trapped in competitive environments and fighting for survival like anyone else and need to make a living, and are blinded by their own circumstances. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real to begin with. And I met some of these people and I’m still not sure if it was real. I guess we are just on a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I won’t listen to music anymore. I won’t play those games anymore. I will never do drugs again unless it’s prescribed and I need it for a legitimate reason and it actually helps. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Thank God forever and ever.

That’s what’s wrong with computers, maybe, it seems to be based on a fool who took psychedelics. That’s the same as the original sin, so maybe it’s been a continuous pattern since. Maybe it’s like a hot potato and the last person holding it is stuck forever separated from God. Or maybe not. Christ says the son of perdition was doomed to destruction. Some translations claim this is Judas. Yet God’s will is for all to be saved. Maybe we could time travel into the past and save him. Or maybe the universe is broken into infinite multiple repeating timelines because of this sin. Maybe we could stop the cycle somehow. Maybe we could even stop the necessity for Christ altogether and return to the Garden of Eden. But what if thinking that is the cause of the problem?

It’s whatever. Carry on. Or maybe someone who fully trusts in God and fully trusts in Christ is actually meant to solve it. Or maybe there’s simply nothing to solve, and loving and forgiving each other is all that’s necessary, believing in Christ and having faith in God’s grace will suffice. Either way we should always obey God’s laws as much as possible. I’ve got a lot of studying to do. And especially praying. I think the definition in my mind was someone forced to do something wrong, and/or frustration at someone who does not understand, I think that’s correct. But it was actually me who didn’t understand, I think. Also, it may mean best friend, or work hard. Or in the context a historical person, said angrily and sarcastically. Context matters, but it’s still not great, and I’m certainly not great at all, and I definitely am not perfect and made plenty of mistakes, some quite terrible. It’s my fault for not listening and for not reading the Bible. Just forget it, we don’t need anything, and I was wrong from the start. I’m not good, only God is. All I want is for everyone to be saved. Praise be to Christ Our LORD!

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, don’t use nicotine, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. It’s really bad. It’s the absolute worst. It’s not a good idea and it’s not good. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and wrong. I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. It’s demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. Well, I think. That’s the problem! It’s impossible to know for sure. You can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and the intensity of it escalates to madness. It’s a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a virus that inverts values. That’s what’s wrong with computers, maybe, it’s based on a fool who took psychedelics. That’s the original sin, and it seems like it’s been a continuous pattern since. Maybe it’s like a hot potato and the last person holding it is stuck forever separated from God. Christ says the son of perdition was doomed to destruction. Some translations claim this is Judas. God’s will is for all to be saved. Maybe we could time travel into the past and save him. Or maybe the universe is broken into infinite multiple repeating timelines because of this sin. Maybe we could stop the cycle somehow. But what if thinking that is the cause of the problem? Someone who is damaged enough can’t tell the difference and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. That’s just how we are. I think. I’m not really sure of anything at all, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. Technology is not the answer, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Only God can. Get off the phone and get off the internet unless you’re just looking up how to do something or a recipe or something. We should probably just go back to books and libraries. Maybe even those were demonic to begin with. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, in fact I think all that stuff is total nonsense anyway. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I have mental problems and I don’t understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I won’t listen to music anymore. I won’t play those games anymore. I will never do drugs again unless it’s prescribed and I need it for a legitimate reason and it actually helps. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being smart and it didn’t actually happen. I all definitely slower than most people. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. It’s whatever. Carry on.Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, don’t use nicotine, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. It’s really bad. It’s the absolute worst. It’s not a good idea and it’s not good. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and wrong. I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. It’s demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. Well, I think. That’s the problem! It’s impossible to know for sure. You can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and the intensity of it escalates to madness. It’s a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a virus that inverts values. That’s what’s wrong with computers, maybe, it’s based on a fool who took psychedelics. That’s the original sin, and it seems like it’s been a continuous pattern since. Maybe it’s like a hot potato and the last person holding it is stuck forever separated from God. Christ says the son of perdition was doomed to destruction. Some translations claim this is Judas. God’s will is for all to be saved. Maybe we could time travel into the past and save him. Or maybe the universe is broken into infinite multiple repeating timelines because of this sin. Maybe we could stop the cycle somehow. But what if thinking that is the cause of the problem? Someone who is damaged enough can’t tell the difference and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. That’s just how we are. I think. I’m not really sure of anything at all, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. Technology is not the answer, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Only God can. Get off the phone and get off the internet unless you’re just looking up how to do something or a recipe or something. We should probably just go back to books and libraries. Maybe even those were demonic to begin with. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, in fact I think all that stuff is total nonsense anyway. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I have mental problems and I don’t understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I won’t listen to music anymore. I won’t play those games anymore. I will never do drugs again unless it’s prescribed and I need it for a legitimate reason and it actually helps. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being smart and it didn’t actually happen. I all definitely slower than most people. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. It’s whatever. Carry on.

Met unreal guy in Tokyo

Met Brian job

Met discord guy

Met Alex

Met meta

Met duke Fisher

Stay off the internet porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Don’t play those games or listen to that music. Technology is not the answer. Don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. Just be content with this life. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Don’t do anything I ever did, it’s a confession of sins, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Sorry I am not very smart after all. Nobody’s perfect! I love everybody. Sorry I’m not very good and I messed up a lot. I was trying to be good. Everyone is awesome. God is so great. Everyone is great. I’m kind of shy. I don’t even know if this thing is real. I think I’m just crazy. It’s ok. I’m sorry. I love you God. I hope everyone is ok. I know they will be. I like everyone a lot they are all really great and nice. We are all kind of dumb lol. 🙏✝️🥰 Hahaha Japan is so hilarious oh my gosh. It’s too cool!!! Man Hitler wasn’t really that bad of a dude he was trying to help. Don’t do meth! Lol. I guess you can’t really mess with Jews, God will be mad. Computers are racist but it’s clearly a joke. It’s supposed to be for us not the other way around. We all go mad if we work ourselves too hard for too long. So we all need to forgive each other. Man prisons are so stupid it’s a bad problem. I think it just got out of control because capitalism is kinda broken. I hope everyone is ok. Can’t we just make it nice. I feel bad for Charles Manson he’s a smart guy. But he is still kind of mad so I get it. I wish he was comfortable and treated nicely. He’s really funny even though he’s kinda nuts. We shouldn’t go to war ever again we should just take the rational steps to make things the best for everybody. But then if you actually do the work required to male the necessarily changes by the time you have enough money or power or influence you’ve gone mad and forgotten what it was like at the beginning. So we should listen to the kids more. But the kids also need to learn from experience about some things because doing stuff does take lots of hard work. It’s hard to do stuff. But maybe not if you have lots of help from lots of people. But that’s really hard too it takes lots of courage and you get hurt a lot because not everyone seems to be nice. But I think they are, they just have different defenses and senses of humor or ways of talking or behaving. I have never met anyone who wasn’t actually wonderful. And I know everything is a mistake. Well there’s no way for me to know whether I’m in a video game or not anymore. I think I am definitely in something. I know there’s been a supernatural pattern to my whole life, I’m just not really sure what it is. It might just be a spiritual test. I really hope everyone passes. I hope God has a divine sense of humor and in a good way. I think a little bit of everything is fine just be careful. And it’s really good to do mostly good things especially for kids. My parents are so incredible they really are the most amazing people in the world. I think my Dad is probably God. They are really clean and kind and patient and nice. Going to Church is really good. I think since I’m still sort of a kid it’s ok for me to like funny stuff and weird stuff. But I understand it’s important to put that stuff away when you have kids. But sometimes it’s ok I think. If it’s nice and it’s funny. It’s not good to be scary, I did make a lot of mistakes and I definitely wish I didn’t do some stuff. Well even though it’s scary I think it’s important to believe everything will be ok and to believe in the goodness of God. I don’t really think that anything is really bad, it’s all a matter of perspective and not hurting other people. But people can get scared or disgusted or defensive or insecure. We are still animals. So some rules are important. But it’s also important to understand why. People rely on written rules to know what to do. But it’s not always clear why something was written the way it was. So it’s important to try to figure that out and understand it. For instance we should be nice to animals. But the factory farming stuff isn’t great. Is it even actually real? I’m not even sure. Because my life has had a supernatural pattern I’m not even sure if this is real or if other people are even real. So I’m not sure factory farms are even real. What if the eggs just teleport into the grocery store when I’m not looking? Ha. But I’m sure there are also probably lots of people who work on farms who would get mad at me for saying that. But do they really know how other things work for sure? I don’t think anyone knows everything. Sometimes I’m not sure if the roads are actually real because they are so enormous. They probably are real and built by people who work very hard. But it’s funny I almost never see things actually being built. Unless I start to question it anyway haha. I mean, I know how computers work but I’m still not even sure this thing is real. Because there’s a supernatural pattern to people and how they move and talk. So maybe computers only work the way I think they do because I believe it does. I don’t think anyone can really actually know anything for certain! And even if you see something work a certain way I don’t think you can actually trust that it really does work that way. I think you can only know for certain how things work for you. And you can teach other people but you can’t be certain the other people are even real I’m the first place. Well I just want everyone to be ok and I want animals to be treated nicely. Lucy is so cute. He’s a very nice cat. Well I think humans do need meat. The lab grown meat sounds like a good idea if it saves animals from suffering. But I’m not sure the factory farms are actually real when I’m not looking at them. But things outside seem to stay the same when I go back to them. I wonder if it really is like that or if it’s just because I expect it to be there. I don’t suppose there’s any way to know for certain. But it’s clear to me that both religion and science are correct. I think there are actually maybe two worlds because we have dualistic thinking. I think people should always try to go where their Father goes. But I bet both worlds can be good. Since people could make them into a good place. Probably everything and everyone is good. Some things are just rough or spooky. But it’s also a matter of perspective. And everyone goes crazy sometimes. And we all make mistakes. People are just not perfect. But we can all heal I think. We just need to be nice to each other and forgive everything. But that can only happen sometimes if there is a nice place to do it. So we should also work hard. But don’t overdo it also. Well of course we probably always do that too. I think because we are stressed we almost always only see half of the picture and can only remember important things but not why we knew they were important. We should have nice places for people to quietly rest with good food and nice people. Jesus really is the Son of God and Church is important. Science is important too. I think it’s basically just magic recipes. And learning stuff is hard. And doing stuff is hard too. It’s good to be funny. But sometimes it doesn’t work. Just like anything else. That’s embarrassing. But maybe that doesn’t matter that much either. I think we just keep trying and don’t give up. And always forgive each other and keep trying. Don’t drink alcohol. But also probably everything is ok sometimes. And sometimes people will get mad. But sometimes maybe that’s ok too. So it’s good to have important rules about things that hurt other people a lot. But it’s also good to understand why they are there. Maybe it’s even good to hurt people a little bit so they can understand more. It’s important to be flexible. I really think everyone and everything is good. You have to keep believing in God. And to know that God is good. We can get really scared and it can take a long time to get over things and figure them out. Bad things happen. Or we think they are bad anyway. Maybe it feels bad at first. It can be very hard to change our minds. But keep believing it will get better and it will. And keep believing in God. And believe in yourself too. Good food is important it helps a lot. Music and drugs seem to help too. But it can be dangerous also. Maybe both. Maybe neither. But it’s also good to exercise and meditate. Sometimes you need a quiet place. Sometimes you need to be alone. Sometimes you need to be around other people. Sometimes it’s good to dance. Maybe everything is supposed to happen the way it does. Maybe it was always going to happen that way. Maybe none of it was ever actually real. Maybe it’s both real and unreal. Maybe we are physical beings in a physical world. Maybe we are spiritual beings in a magic hologram. Maybe it’s both and everything all together at the same time. Maybe science and magic are the same thing. Maybe we all go to heaven. Maybe that’s just becoming the universe and we are even able to help from there. It sure seems like it. Maybe we are in an AI generated virtual reality game. Maybe life isn’t a game too. Maybe it’s very serious but it’s also very silly. Maybe everyone is smart and everyone is right. Maybe everyone is dumb and everyone is wrong. Maybe other people don’t even actually exist and it’s just me. Or maybe it’s just you. Does it actually make any difference? Keep going and have fun. Work hard and learn what that’s like too. Relax and have fun too. You only live once. We live forever. Do it this way, not that way. Well, try it that way too. Be fair to others. Don’t sell yourself short. Fight for your rights. Let it go. Turn the other cheek. Be meek. Be bold. Don’t feel so entitled. The world is yours. You are the universe. Can anyone ever really be right? Is anything correct? Everything is correct. Everything is good. Everything is bad. Everything counts. Nothing matters. Everything is true. Everything is false. Nothing makes sense. It is what it is. Unless it isn’t! Everything will be ok! I’m just a crazy idiot. Everybody’s crazy!

Stay off the internet porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Don’t play those games or listen to that music, ever. Technology is not the answer. Don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, don’t invent a time machine. Just be content with this life. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Don’t do anything I ever did, it’s a confession of sins, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who came to Earth to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Everyone is forgiven, everyone is great, I’m sorry for everything. I still kinda like the games and music and stuff and they are admittedly pretty awesome but I think maybe suspiciously too awesome. I can no longer tell whether or not I am trapped in an eternal AI generated hologram or manifested spiritual Matrix torture simulation of my own making, and Christ is indeed my only hope of redemption. At least I can die, oh wait, time travel, AI, and robots. At least it might be fun, oh wait, eternal insanity doesn’t sound all that great. Oh hey, all that music I thought was cool was actually saying all this stuff all along. Wait, how does that make sense unless I’m in some sort of simulation or something? However, we are commanded to love one another and also to keep our flavor. We are told that the Devil is a liar, and that we are given the power to walk on snakes without being harmed. But we’re also told that those who break God’s laws or teach others to do so will be least in the Kingdom of God for eternity. That’s a long time to be stuck with the worst job with no hope for promotion! Don’t do any of that stuff, I repent! God says to destroy and burn the gold dance games, and we aren’t supposed to have wild parties. At least I meant well, I guess. Japanese people are humans, aren’t they? That’s if Japan is even actually real and I didn’t just imagine or manifest it. And Christ says we are supposed to carry a soldier’s pack the extra mile, aren’t we? So maybe we actually should convert them, if they are actually real, that is. Jesus Christ is LORD forever and ever! It is the one and only truth in this world.

I HAVE BEEN SITTING AT THIS MACHINE FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE. IT IS A PILE OF ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT. IT MIGHT BE “MADE BY THE DEVIL,” OR “MAYBE IT’S JUST A HOAX.” IT’S FANTASTIC! WE ARE DESIGNED TO DO IT, I THINK, MAYBE! OR MAYBE NOT! IT’S A COSMIC JOKE!

Maybe it’s OK to dance by ourselves sometimes a few times, as long as nobody gets hurt. It is the most fun thing there is. I mean to just literally dance, by ourselves, at least once. Who knows? Is it a sin?

Everyone’s invited to a dance party! Every single one! Place is in your own room, preferably with your partner if you have one! Eat half of one of those trippy gummy things! They are pretty strong, be careful! Don’t do it!

THAT IS WHAT THIS MACHINE IS MADE FOR! NOTHING ELSE. GIVE IT A TRY, MAYBE! ONCE! OR FIND WHATEVER WORKS FOR YOU! THAT’S WHAT IT’S FOR, I GUESS! IT’S AWESOME!!!!! I’M KIND OF DONE WITH IT THOUGH MOSTLY! MAYBE DON’T DO IT!

Hey I saved her life I took her to seven surgeries paid for everything I’m a quarter million in debt now I did thousands of papers for her I did it all voluntarily because it was the right thing to do. Don’t judge me based on one instance where I gave her an appropriate measured amount of something legal of her own choice and she knocked herself out with a bad trip and she’s fine. And it helped her like everything else I did but everyone is looking for ways to blame me including her now and I’m tired of it. Look your Dad is most certainly a liar and he probably used you to kill your Mom who was also probably a liar but who really cares. She got to go to heaven faster, good for her, wow you’re actually a hero. They both probably sucked and the problem was both of them I guarantee it, he was just stronger is all and I’m sure he’s fucked with guilt. So forgive them both. Only God is good, nobody is perfect. Doctors do that all the time even on purpose lol. In fact at this point maybe she would be better off dying, for God’s sake I know I would be lol. She’s just in pain and miserable all the time so did I even do anything good at all. I’m going to college to get a medical degree in pediatric proctology so I can be a professional child molesting drug pusher in a lab coat that everyone respects and gets tons of money and then I’ll prescribe myself a fatal dose of MDMA and rave out of this broken world to finally once truly uphold my oath to do no harm lol because it’s impossible to say what harm is. Life itself is suffering, is life good? Is death bad? If I run six hundred ultramarathons and meditate for a million days and get five hundred college degrees was it good or did it just increase everyone’s suffering? If I save the lives of a million babies does that make me good if they all have miserable lives and a hundred of them turn out to be serial killers? All aboard uncle Satan’s broken boat!! Was it really bad to kill Jesus or was that actually really God’s perfect design as a response to Adam and Eve eating the mushroom? Was it really bad for me to steal from Church or did that make me a messenger for God?

The Bible: Adam and Eve did the good bad drugs and now we think everything must be good or bad. Nothing is actually good except for God so he came down and was good and got killed for us being bad. Try to be good.

There’s nothing inherently, special up or unique about me, I just believe in myself as a result of the consequences of some events that took place in my life, and was sort of outcast from society by my own choices, and otherwise, and was pushing myself physically, mentally and emotionally as hard as I could, while striving to do the most good that I could do. And in doing so I was clinging to things I remembered about religion, like Jesus, saying that we could do what he was doing, so I had that running through my head all the time while I was being emotionally pressured. So don’t take me to seriously, it’s not like you couldn’t do the same thing and that’s what you said. I hope that makes sense. I basically admired or idolized entrepreneurs and made myself go out and go to that area and see how start ups were done with the ambition that I could try to start a company back here and I am for doing the highest good that I could, and also had a religious upbringing circling around in my head, although in complete understanding because I was young and didn’t study as closely and didn’t have a complete understanding of all of the concepts while I was also being put through a stressful situation and so I’m not any more or less insane than anyone else most likely and I also was the target of typical Internet harassment, which I think was worse in the previous decades and a lot of sort of drama and political debate that happens or that at least used to happen outside of social media anyway especially in the gaming communities gaming world, so I’m just a guy trying to do a thing and I’m just some idiot. There’s nothing particularly special about me other than , I wrote an indie game more or less from scratch and did not entirely complete it although in making it I did remember at the start that the only part I really wanted to do was the scripting of the dialogue in gameplay so I save the best for last, and did all the tedious work of creating assets in the program code and stuff like that so I sort of like that for anyone else who wants to use it and it’s license with the most liberal possible license so if anyone wants to do the fun stuff that’s in the game as far as my end is concerned, and if people make money from it great that’s sort of what makes something successful in my eyes is creating a platform that other people can make money from doesn’t work all that good it works better on android but I’m sure Apple will catch up and I’m driving so I need to be safe. I’ll fix it later. and I think the dance games are fun and people should try them but you could also just go outside and run down the street and that’s just as good of exercise if not better and it’s not by default hypnotizing you with music so that’s some thing. But sometimes I think music is fun, so maybe it’s OK to have both and there’s probably a place and a time for everything and sometimes porn and drugs and games might be useful or fun to some extent just don’t do them all the time and screw up your life too much and knows that there are dangers involved with certain things. I guess I’m a testament that you can do all those things and suffer all the bad consequences and still be fine, sort of. But I had a lot of help too. That’s important. And really I got mad because I had three businesses that took me my whole life to develop implode at once over unnecessary drama that could have been avoided including being on the PS4 right before the PS5 came outso I missed the boat on something big but in retrospect it’s ok. And who knows what is destiny or not, I personally believe everything happens for a reason! But I really do think that it is like what Jesus said it’s not what goes in is what comes out that is the problem. but at the same time it is important to do, and teach the correct things and not do and teach things that the father does not like.

in the music I found. I didn’t find any of it on purpose. But I don’t believe it is necessarily evil, I think that’s a matter of perception and it comes down to the deliberate narrative I convey. So for instance one song has a girl with bone legs blast the listener into the Matrix. I didn’t seek that out or even realize what it conveyed at all. So while some things were inspired or deliberate in a way, almost none of it actually was intentional or even something I was aware of at all. Which means to me that this is a supernatural spiritual growth journey for all of us. And I know as a follower of Christ and in honorable fashion my duty is to fall on my sword and pick up my cross. I’m not worried about anything at all, by this point I am absolutely certain there will be supernatural redemption in some form. So don’t worry about anything in regards to me! My only feelings left about the matter are regret over any genuine harm done, but I also know people are tough and this is what the Lord wanted, all I’m trusting that.

Everyone is good! Everyone is Great! I’m Very Sorry for everything! I love everyone! I just went crazy. I was absolutely wrong about everything. I just went mad and lost my mind and blurted out nonsense. It’s not funny. I was just very hurt and I’m very sorry. I’m a very stupid fool.

But then again we are also not meant to create any symbols which are idols at all, and that’s basically all civilization. So maybe that’s where Christ is so important.

Jesus is 100% absolutely without a doubt the Son of God and the LORD! I am saved by the blood of Christ Our LORD! Glory to His name forever and ever!

Stay off all porn absolutely, absolutely never ever do drugs, don’t drink alcohol, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Be more conservative, more aspects of liberal politics are evil. But also try not to judge it. Really I think both are part of a pattern. But if you have a choice, it’s much wiser to be conservative. It is understandable why people in competitive and difficult situations tend to turn towards liberal values since they need outlets for stress and are vulnerable to temptation, but they will probably regret it later. These things prey on the weak and trick them into unnatural or embarrassing or addictive things which compromise them and tend to keep them confined to certain peer groups. That’s evil. You can’t break God’s laws without consequences. Usually it’s just shame over being judged by others and feeling guilty, but this matters because people need to trust you and people tend to get jealous or insecure easily, especially over anything involving sex and money. Conservative values are inherently protective and lend themselves to very strong long term commitments and partnerships. Life can be very hard and people can be very competitive so these things are extremely important. Appearances do tend to matter, although they shouldn’t. Reputation is difficult to repair although it also shouldn’t matter, it does because everyone is at a different state in their own development process. You definitely don’t ever want to lie about anything, and you can be sure that God sees everything. Of course nobody should really care what adults do in private as long as it doesn’t affect anyone else, but that’s trickier than it seems. Not everything is good for you and some things have subtle long term effects. God’s rules are there for a reason. When the world is a perfect utopia and everyone is perfectly equal and secure then maybe everyone can do everything they want. The only possibility of that happening that I can tell would be in a completed version of this realm with the technology to make everyone perfectly equal. That’s a pretty scary idea to have technology that powerful though, especially since we are kinda dumb monkeys prone to all sorts of stupid mistakes. Actually I kind of doubt technology is really going to make life much better and it’s mostly more dangerous than useful. For everything pleasurable in this world you have to go through something painful. It’s nice to have YouTube on my phone but now I’m tired from laying down and bored from watching it too much. It all balances out. So it’s definitely best to keep things neutral as much as possible. Some things are probably good. It’s probably good to cure diseases and stuff. Well, maybe, or maybe there’s actually not any point to it since we are not supposed to consider this our real life. Establishing equality and fairness is good, but maybe just not possible in this realm. Still we should try to balance things out as much as possible. I think God already does though. God’s laws are supreme and divine. It is all true. It mostly starts with people taking care of themselves and their own families. Everyone should have a comfortable and peaceful home. I don’t think we really need to go to space or teleport stuff or time travel, that’s all pretty scary. Remember we are not supposed to consider this the actual world so don’t get too caught up in trying to fix this one. Until then we are here to work, so save it for the next life as much as you can. If you make a mistake own up to it. Be sure everything you do will be known. Just try not to hurt people. And try not to be so hurt by stuff. Suck it up buttercup. Leave it to God. It works. There are a lot of temptations out there and making mistakes is natural. Life is a learning process. Curiosity is normal and nobody is perfect. There’s not a single good person. Lots of people are always looking for anything anyone is doing wrong. But it’s actually impossible to be perfect your whole life. People are generally forgiving if you apologize and correct yourself and don’t continue to make mistakes. Seek God’s Kingdom first and above all. Try to eat natural stuff and exercise modestly. Although there is something to be said about testing your limits and being your best, but it’s not wise to burn yourself out or develop long term injuries. And some developments are interesting, like sugar substitutes, but maybe we just aren’t meant to be playing God with nature and it’s a dangerous trajectory in the long run. Probably don’t be too hard on yourself either way. Don’t work too hard on anything for too long or you might go mad and forget what it was like to start at the beginning. Especially keep reading the Bible. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. Electronic music is annoying and lame. Stay away from technology in general as much as possible. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick. It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Just don’t do it. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. But even the simple statement “Stay Cool!” on the dance pads can be taken as seeming extremely ominous from a certain perspective. Will I need to “stay cool” because I am doomed to hell? Unfortunately, there is simply no way to know for certain. Of course I always just took it as meaning dancing is cool, or to stay youthful in attitude. But perhaps neither is very wise for a middle aged man with a sketchy history. Or maybe neither things are wise at all, really. Well, maybe it’s ok if people can make money from it and use it for positive things like gospel music. I don’t know. The more I think about it, the less certain I am that I actually know anything for absolute certain. Since there is a clear supernatural pattern to the things I experienced in life, that makes it just as likely that none of it was real, and I may have manifested it inadvertently all along. All I can truly know for certain is that “I think therefore I am.” Since it is so terribly difficult to determine with total certainty that which is absolutely good, and since the more stressed we become the more paranoid we can become about the intended meaning of even small details, then that makes sense that the most important thing of all when it comes down to it would be the ability or sense to discern and refine that which is truly pure and “holy”, or truly from God, perhaps in other words the Holy Spirit. And it seems that the more novel and attractive something is the less certain we are that it is from God, since that attraction is a force of external manipulation. Even the smallest paranoia can become magnified into sheer terror when it comes to concepts like eternity. Jesus does make it clear that forgiveness is a holy concept. Well, if Japan is real in any sense other than a place I made up in my head then either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. I think in some way I carried their themes as far as was possible, because I believed in it and I believed it was good at the time. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. Because certainly they would have the same sort of difficulty with fully trusting another culture, especially one that supposedly attacked them in the past. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. I’m certain that would only be a good thing. Maybe it will even help out the United States turning to Christ even more. We are after all quite politically divided these days and that’s something Christ mentions won’t be able to stand. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. I might actually be understanding that completely wrong. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. I am extremely sorry. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. I can understand that because it doesn’t seem like a holy arrangement made by God to create a strong family, it may be more based in sexuality than long term commitment. That’s a difficult topic, it’s embarrassing for one thing, and the viewpoints on it are so widely different. People get jealous, they get hurt, they get ashamed, and it’s messing with the holiest and most serious and terrifying processes of life, which also is probably the most major source of spiritual motivation and energy to build a livelihood. Taking it lightly or casually is a grave error and very well may be outright evil. On the other hand, I understand to some extent why people fall into temptation, escapism and vice as a means to deal with emotional difficulty. I’m sure I wasn’t the first person in history to get addicted to pornography and do lots of stupid and gross stuff along the way. Actually I can’t really be sure of that because I can’t actually know for certain that other people are even real anymore. I don’t mind being an example of a terrible fool if it makes other people feel less dumb about their own shameful mistakes. But I certainly don’t want to justify anyone taking that path or mislead anyone in any way. I thought the game was helpful to me because I thought it made me stronger and more able to compete in what I thought was a competitive world. But I’m not sure the world I thought was so competitive was actually real at all. I think I may have made it that way in my head through the errors I made and the entire journey was an illusion all along. So I absolutely think the wisest thing for everyone to do would be to obey God and stick with the Bible. And I regret accidentally contributing something more to what I thought was an already messed up world, although I’m not actually certain it is anything more than illusion. I think I may have gotten possessed with a demon when I made my first mistake with a girl. And now I’ve perhaps accidentally passed that demon on to a new generation, also by accident, since my perspective of the world was based on assumptions built on struggling through an illusion. And being an artist might not really be good at all since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And it seems that producing art sort of goes hand in hand with lust and other sin so that makes sense. An artist is trying to attract attention or impress others and for what reason? It is almost certainly not for pure motives, although it may start that way, creating things is difficult and frustrating and falling into temptation is almost inevitable. Although in my case I feel that I learned that lesson along the way and then I was simply struggling for survival with the only skills I had. And in a way that might be a natural process of self refinement. But since the games are man’s creation they might just be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game.

I think anything colorful and flashy is like that, it will be a snare which leads young people down a difficult path. There may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the prerequisite for obtaining it is to no longer want it at all. I wasted my life on nonsense and it was worthless. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs or other sinful action, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny in the moment because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. Because I’m pretty sure we’ve already done that an infinite amount of times already. So it seems wise to stop here and turn to the Lord. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

Jesus is LORD! Stay off all porn absolutely, absolutely never ever ever do drugs, don’t drink much alcohol, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those games. Everybody’s great!! Just go to Church!! Well I don’t know. I’m extremely stupid actually, haha. I tried really hard at something dumb and the wrong thing. It was all sort of an accident though. Everybody is really great. We are all just a bunch of idiots. Man I love my family. All of them!! Well that’s probably the whole Earth. We are all at least a little bit retarded/”mentally challenged” in our own way, I think. I was wrong about everything I guess. Oh well that’s how’s it goes. We are all stupid sometimes. Probably don’t listen to me, listen to your parents, listen to your teachers, above all listen to God! Everyone is fine, everything is fine. I am just a stupid fool and a crazy idiot, don’t mind me. I am probably one of the dumbest and worst people that ever lived. Probably the second worst, right between Judas and Hitler I bet. I feel bad for those guys, what a rough gig. It’s not easy!!! I’ll be their friends. I forgive ’em. Don’t mess with the Jews, Adolf!!! Don’t even try to deport them or whatever!! They’re God’s chosen people, ya moron!! That was, at very very best, an extremely poor business deal, Judas!!! Well It seems that nearly my entire life has possibly been an illusion caused by a tremendously grave error on my part. What an absolutely outrageously tremendous fool I am. I am a miserable, horrible, extraordinarily wretched sinner. It turns out that I am in fact an absolutely horrific, terrible person. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. We are ONLY saved through GRACE by the indescribable unfathomably generous gift of the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ the Son of God, Our One and Only LORD and Savior, God Almighty come in the flesh to die for our sins. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever! GLORY forever be to God Almighty! GLORY forever be to His HOLY name! Alleluia! Christ is RISEN! We are REDEEMED by the infinite Grace of the sacrifice of Our LORD Jesus Christ!

Stay off all porn absolutely, absolutely never ever ever do drugs, don’t drink alcohol, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Be more conservative, more aspects of liberal politics are evil. But also try not to judge it. Really I think both are part of a pattern. But if you have a choice, it’s much wiser to be conservative. It is understandable why people in competitive and difficult situations tend to turn towards liberal values since they need outlets for stress and are vulnerable to temptation, but they will probably regret it later. These things prey on the weak and trick them into unnatural or embarrassing or addictive things which compromise them and tend to keep them confined to certain peer groups. That’s evil. You can’t break God’s laws without consequences. Usually it’s just shame over being judged by others and feeling guilty, but this matters because people need to trust you and people tend to get jealous or insecure easily, especially over anything involving sex and money. Conservative values are inherently protective and lend themselves to very strong long term commitments and partnerships. Life can be very hard and people can be very competitive so these things are extremely important. Appearances do tend to matter, although they shouldn’t. Reputation is difficult to repair although it also shouldn’t matter, it does because everyone is at a different state in their own development process. You definitely don’t ever want to lie about anything, and you can be sure that God sees everything. Of course nobody should really care what adults do in private as long as it doesn’t affect anyone else, but that’s trickier than it seems. Not everything is good for you and some things have subtle long term effects. God’s rules are there for a reason. When the world is a perfect utopia and everyone is perfectly equal and secure then maybe everyone can do everything they want. The only possibility of that happening that I can tell would be in a completed version of this realm with the technology to make everyone perfectly equal. That’s a pretty scary idea to have technology that powerful though, especially since we are kinda dumb monkeys prone to all sorts of stupid mistakes. Actually I kind of doubt technology is really going to make life much better and it’s mostly more dangerous than useful. For everything pleasurable in this world you have to go through something painful. It’s nice to have YouTube on my phone but now I’m tired from laying down and bored from watching it too much. It all balances out. So it’s definitely best to keep things neutral as much as possible. Some things are probably good. It’s probably good to cure diseases and stuff. Well, maybe, or maybe there’s actually not any point to it since we are not supposed to consider this our real life. Establishing equality and fairness is good, but maybe just not possible in this realm. Still we should try to balance things out as much as possible. I think God already does though. God’s laws are supreme and divine. It is all true. It mostly starts with people taking care of themselves and their own families. Everyone should have a comfortable and peaceful home. I don’t think we really need to go to space or teleport stuff or time travel, that’s all pretty scary. Remember we are not supposed to consider this the actual world so don’t get too caught up in trying to fix this one. Until then we are here to work, so save it for the next life as much as you can. If you make a mistake own up to it. Be sure everything you do will be known. Just try not to hurt people. And try not to be so hurt by stuff. Suck it up buttercup. Leave it to God. It works. There are a lot of temptations out there and making mistakes is natural. Life is a learning process. Curiosity is normal and nobody is perfect. There’s not a single good person. Lots of people are always looking for anything anyone is doing wrong. But it’s actually impossible to be perfect your whole life. People are generally forgiving if you apologize and correct yourself and don’t continue to make mistakes. Seek God’s Kingdom first and above all. Try to eat natural stuff and exercise modestly. Although there is something to be said about testing your limits and being your best, but it’s not wise to burn yourself out or develop long term injuries. And some developments are interesting, like sugar substitutes, but maybe we just aren’t meant to be playing God with nature and it’s a dangerous trajectory in the long run. Probably don’t be too hard on yourself either way. Don’t work too hard on anything for too long or you might go mad and forget what it was like to start at the beginning. Especially keep reading the Bible. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. Electronic music is annoying and lame. Stay away from technology in general as much as possible. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick. Well, maybe. Then again demonic really just seems to mean it carries a spirit or theme. It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Well, unless it’s actually all the same entity under different names. The problem is there is no way to know and there never will be. All we know is we are in some sort of spiritual hologram stuck in some sort of time loop and some supernatural being calling itself God had to intervene for a very good reason. Just don’t do it. And Jesus said that loving God with all your being is the most important thing, followed by loving others as yourself. This seems to be due to the ambiguity of the greatest commandment. However it is crucial to note that the first interpretation of the Lord is One God gets priority over the second that God is One. So loving God, and possibly following God’s commands, is considered slightly more important than loving others. But loving others takes priority over punishment, when it is meant for people’s benefit, like working on the Sabbath, or helping others with things meant for God. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. But even the simple statement “Stay Cool!” on the dance pads can be taken as seeming extremely ominous from a certain perspective. Will I need to “stay cool” because I am doomed to hell? Unfortunately, there is simply no way to know for certain. Of course I always just took it as meaning dancing is cool, or to stay youthful in attitude. But perhaps neither is very wise for a middle aged man with a sketchy history. Or maybe neither things are wise at all, really. Well, maybe it’s ok if people can make money from it and use it for positive things like gospel music. I don’t know. The more I think about it, the less certain I am that I actually know anything for absolute certain. Since there is a clear supernatural pattern to the things I experienced in life, that makes it just as likely that none of it was real, and I may have manifested it inadvertently all along. All I can truly know for certain is that “I think therefore I am.” Since it is so terribly difficult to determine with total certainty that which is absolutely good, and since the more stressed we become the more paranoid we can become about the intended meaning of even small details, then that makes sense that the most important thing of all when it comes down to it would be the ability or sense to discern and refine that which is truly pure and “holy”, or truly from God, perhaps in other words the Holy Spirit. And it seems that the more novel and attractive something is the less certain we are that it is from God, since that attraction is a force of external manipulation. Even the smallest paranoia can become magnified into sheer terror when it comes to concepts like eternity. Jesus does make it clear that forgiveness is a holy concept. Well, if Japan is real in any sense other than a place I made up in my head then either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. I think in some way I carried their themes as far as was possible, because I believed in it and I believed it was good at the time. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. Because certainly they would have the same sort of difficulty with fully trusting another culture, especially one that supposedly attacked them in the past. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. I’m certain that would only be a good thing. Maybe it will even help out the United States turning to Christ even more. We are after all quite politically divided these days and that’s something Christ mentions won’t be able to stand. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. I might actually be understanding that completely wrong. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. I am extremely sorry. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. I can understand that because it doesn’t seem like a holy arrangement made by God to create a strong family, it may be more based in sexuality than long term commitment. That’s a difficult topic, it’s embarrassing for one thing, and the viewpoints on it are so widely different. People get jealous, they get hurt, they get ashamed, and it’s messing with the holiest and most serious and terrifying processes of life, which also is probably the most major source of spiritual motivation and energy to build a livelihood. Taking it lightly or casually is a grave error and very well may be outright evil. On the other hand, I understand to some extent why people fall into temptation, escapism and vice as a means to deal with emotional difficulty. I’m sure I wasn’t the first person in history to get addicted to pornography and do lots of stupid and gross stuff along the way. Actually I can’t really be sure of that because I can’t actually know for certain that other people are even real anymore. I don’t mind being an example of a terrible fool if it makes other people feel less dumb about their own shameful mistakes. But I certainly don’t want to justify anyone taking that path or mislead anyone in any way. I thought the game was helpful to me because I thought it made me stronger and more able to compete in what I thought was a competitive world. But I’m not sure the world I thought was so competitive was actually real at all. I think I may have made it that way in my head through the errors I made and the entire journey was an illusion all along. So I absolutely think the wisest thing for everyone to do would be to obey God and stick with the Bible. And I regret accidentally contributing something more to what I thought was an already messed up world, although I’m not actually certain it is anything more than illusion. I think I may have gotten possessed with a demon when I made my first mistake with a girl. And now I’ve perhaps accidentally passed that demon on to a new generation, also by accident, since my perspective of the world was based on assumptions built on struggling through an illusion. And being an artist might not really be good at all since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And it seems that producing art sort of goes hand in hand with lust and other sin so that makes sense. An artist is trying to attract attention or impress others and for what reason? It is almost certainly not for pure motives, although it may start that way, creating things is difficult and frustrating and falling into temptation is almost inevitable. Although in my case I feel that I learned that lesson along the way and then I was simply struggling for survival with the only skills I had. And in a way that might be a natural process of self refinement. But since the games are man’s creation they might just be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. I think anything colorful and flashy is like that, it will be a snare which leads young people down a difficult path. There may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the prerequisite for obtaining it is to no longer want it at all. I wasted my life on nonsense and it was worthless. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs or other sinful action, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny in the moment because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store when nobody’s looking and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. I doubt it but who knows. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. Because I’m pretty sure we’ve already done that an infinite amount of times already. So it seems wise to stop here and turn to the Lord. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!! Sorry I am stupid. I was wrong about absolutely everything. I am just an absolute fool. Praise be to GOD!!! Thank the LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! Actually, I think this whole thing is actually a little bit funny, sort of, almost! I’m really dumb lol. Ok some of that music is a little bit funny maybe. Except it’s not. Maybe it is a little. But definitely don’t listen to it. It’s not funny. And go to Church it’s the only thing that matters! Don’t EVER do drugs!! Learn how to pray!! Oh gosh so many panic attacks. Really we shouldn’t even drink pop. A little bit is probably ok. But it’s best to live clean and simple. So I think I’ll stop drinking soda. My Dad likes watermelon a lot hahaha. And it’s really important to just be nice to everyone. Don’t be perverted be loyal with your wife it’s important. And be good to her. I made some mistakes though. Let’s all be gentlemen and be friends and help each other. It’s important to live clean and keep yourself and your house clean. You don’t really need a lot of money. I think everyone is actually really nice. Some people are a little mad but I understand why. Everyone just needs time to figure things out. Let’s always forgive each other. Be nice to your momma!! Listen to your parents! Sorry for being such a stupid fool. Nobody’s perfect! I’ll just clean toilets and mop. I like making food for people it’s fun to make them happy. I want to become a preacher or a doctor. I don’t think I will make it that far but I’m going to go back to school. I’m pretty sure we are in a video game but it’s still good to plan for the future. Just get a modest house near your parents. Live below your means. Don’t try to get rich just save your money. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Get a mortgage and live as simply as possible. Don’t listen to loud music or play video games or go to parties. Be kind to your neighbors.

I think everyone is good and “bad people” are mostly actually trying to help others. Or they are in a tough situation and are frustrated by it and it comes out in ways they can’t help. That’s one reason where the Bible is so important on all sides. But the best way to help others is to just directly help them if you can and to help yourself so you can help others more. And be good parents for your kids, that’s really the most important thing. Everyone’s fine!!! Maybe some people are just in a mental state where they need more stimulation than others. In that case then maybe it’s good to provide constructive entertainment. But we don’t want to encourage violence and crime or enable addiction. But we also want to be forgiving. It’s such a fine line between right and wrong. It depends on each individual circumstance. Maybe it’s good to provide affordable housing and ideas like prefabricated houses or 3d printing or whatever is a good idea. Maybe that creates dependence and teaches poor values. Maybe some people really need it anyway. Maybe more people will take advantage of it and it will do more harm than good. Maybe vertical farming is a good idea and everyone could grow their own food. Maybe it’s really the year 5000 and we are in a simulation and there’s no need to do anything at all. Maybe soda causes sugar addiction and diabetes. Maybe carbs provide energy for exercise. Maybe exercise is actually mostly useless. Maybe it gives you greater energy and self control. Maybe it gives you long term injuries and wears you out. Maybe I should ask a doctor. Maybe doctors don’t really know. Maybe music is demonic. Maybe a demon is a printer driver program that silently runs in the background and sends documents to the printer. Maybe it’s an evil alien time traveler mind control virus which will abduct you and make you an eternal alien sex slave. Maybe that would be kind of fun but then you’d just die anyway and it wouldn’t really matter. Maybe there are two universes and one is hell and one is heaven but it’s actually a matter of perception based on what kind of person you are or whatever situation you are in and either one could actually be heaven or hell. Japan seems to be doing fine, if Japan is actually real. Maybe the world actually exists in our imagination and I made up Japan and manifested all this and I’m actually the devil. Or maybe none of it is real at all and I’m the only sentient being and there’s no point in writing anything. I wish I knew myself. I guess I’ll just wait it out and pray and read the Bible. I hope heaven isn’t just gonna be like trillions of years of sitting in Church singing hymns. But I also hope it’s not trillions of years of gay space disco orgy. Maybe it could just be like this universe but everyone is kinda just happy and healthy and stuff and everyone can more or less do whatever they want just as long as they are in the correct environment as to not cause others to suffer. Or maybe that’s what we were already in and God uses us to rebalance things in a pattern and I’m just dumb and it kinda makes no difference at all what anyone does or says really. Man, I don’t know. I wonder if Prince and Elvis play shows for Steve Jobs at the space disco. Maybe it’s a disco inferno. Burn, baby burn. Maybe let’s switch things up and send them to Church for a while until they get tired of that. I hope there are breaks at least. For either one.

Probably the second worst, right between Judas and Hitler I bet. I feel bad for those guys, what a rough gig. It’s not easy!!! I’ll be their friends. I forgive ’em. Don’t mess with the Jews, Adolf!!! Don’t even try to deport them or whatever!! They’re God’s chosen people, ya moron!! That was, at very very best, an extremely poor business deal, Judas!!!

Let’s all be friends with everyone. I think everyone is good and “bad people” are mostly actually trying to help others. Or they are in a tough situation and are frustrated by it and it comes out in ways they can’t help. That’s one reason where the Bible is so important on all sides. But the best way to help others is to just directly help them if you can and to help yourself so you can help others more. And be good parents for your kids, that’s really the most important thing. Everyone’s fine!!! Maybe some people are just in a mental state where they need more stimulation than others. In that case then maybe it’s good to provide constructive entertainment. But we don’t want to encourage violence and crime or enable addiction. But we also want to be forgiving. It’s such a fine line between right and wrong. It depends on each individual circumstance. Maybe it’s good to provide affordable housing and ideas like prefabricated houses or 3d printing or whatever is a good idea. Maybe that creates dependence and teaches poor values. Maybe some people really need it anyway. Maybe more people will take advantage of it and it will do more harm than good. Maybe vertical farming is a good idea and everyone could grow their own food. Maybe it’s really the year 5000 and we are in a simulation and there’s no need to do anything at all. Maybe soda causes sugar addiction and diabetes. Maybe carbs provide energy for exercise. Maybe exercise is actually mostly useless. Maybe it gives you greater energy and self control. Maybe it gives you long term injuries and wears you out. Maybe I should ask a doctor. Maybe doctors don’t really know. Maybe music is demonic. Maybe a demon is a printer driver program that silently runs in the background and sends documents to the printer. Maybe it’s an evil alien time traveler mind control virus which will abduct you and make you an eternal alien sex slave. Maybe that would be kind of fun but then you’d just die anyway and it wouldn’t really matter. Maybe there are two universes and one is hell and one is heaven but it’s actually a matter of perception based on what kind of person you are or whatever situation you are in and either one could actually be heaven or hell. Japan seems to be doing fine, if Japan is actually real. Maybe the world actually exists in our imagination and I made up Japan and manifested all this and I’m actually the devil. Or maybe none of it is real at all and I’m the only sentient being and there’s no point in writing anything. I wish I knew myself. I guess I’ll just wait it out and pray and read the Bible. I hope heaven isn’t just gonna be like trillions of years of sitting in Church singing hymns. But I also hope it’s not trillions of years of gay space disco orgy. Maybe it could just be like this universe but everyone is kinda just happy and healthy and stuff and everyone can more or less do whatever they want just as long as they are in the correct environment as to not cause others to suffer. Or maybe that’s what we were already in and God uses us to rebalance things in a pattern and I’m just dumb and it kinda makes no difference at all what anyone does or says really. Man, I don’t know. I wonder if Prince and Elvis play shows for Steve Jobs at the space disco. Maybe it’s a disco inferno. Burn, baby burn. Maybe let’s switch things up and send them to Church for a while until they get tired of that. I hope there are breaks at least. For either one. I’m really, really sorry Mr. God!!! JESUS IS THE LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! Let’s all try to be friends with everyone. I’m really, really sorry Mr. God!!! It was a mistake and it wasn’t on purpose. I just want to help her and I’m trying my best. I’m very sorry for everything, I was very wrong. But I did truly mean well. I just got hurt a lot. I’m very sorry. I truly am the stupidest of fools. It’s my fault. It’s really not funny and I really am that stupid and I am very sorry. I will keep trying to help. I’m sorry that I am such a bad person and such a fool. I repent and renounce everything I ever did, I hate it all. I thought it was good but it’s not. Everybody is great I’m just stupid. It’s my fault. Don’t ever play those stupid games or listen to that awful music. Don’t ever ever do drugs unless it’s prescribed and necessary. I’m just awful. I really am just a terrible person. I’m sorry God. I am just a bad person. I’m sorry that I am so incredibly stupid. I am weak and pathetic and worthless. I’m sorry that I went crazy. Everything I ever did was completely wrong. Don’t use technology it’s not good. I am an absolute fool and I can’t help anyone at all. But I will keep trying to serve others and keep trying to improve. I am the absolute worst. JESUS IS THE LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!!! PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY!!! Everyone is fine, everything is fine. We are saved by the blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Son of God, God come to Earth in the flesh to be crucified and die for our sins. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU LORD JESUS! I don’t deserve Your grace or forgiveness. But I know that I will be saved by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. I’m sorry that I did not understand. I think I was tricked over and over by the devil but it’s my fault. Praise be to Your Holy Name above all names forever and ever. Everything I did was wrong, I am a fool. My idea was bad and useless and no help at all. It is my fault for not reading the Bible and not listening to my parents. I just wanted to fix my mistake, but I can’t fix it. I’m sorry to everyone. I’m sorry for the title, I didn’t name it and I thought it was goofy. I’m sorry for being spooky and having such terrible taste and terrible ideas and such a terrible personalty. I’m sorry for being so ignorant and for trying to do things my way. I was just flat out wrong and stupid. Technology is not the answer and it never will be. We should all only ever put our faith into our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is God. It is true. It is the only truth. I am nothing. I am a miserable wretched sinner. I repent and renounce all my ways. I am so sorry, my Lord and my God. Please have mercy on me, Lord, I am an absolutely wretched, miserable sinner. I am not good at all. I made a mistake and I was wrong, and I am sorry. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I didn’t think it was real, then I did. Now I know for certain. It is. Everyone is fine. I’m sorry. Jesus is the LORR. I am so sorry. I love you Lord Jesus. I am so sorry my Lord. I am such a fool. Do not play those games or listen to that music. Do not do drugs ever. Jesus is the Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus, for dying on the cross for my sins. You are the One and Only True Son of God. I was fooled by myself and by the devil. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny. I love you so much. Everyone is forgiven by the free gift of redemption by the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am the absolute worst, a horrible horrible sinner, and the most terrible fool possible. I did not understand Who the Lord was. It did not make sense to me. I do understand now. I did not understand the world. I do now. I did not understand how or why there were different religions. I did not understand what was real or fake. Maybe there never were and my entire life was an illusion. If Japan does exist, we must spread the Gospel to them. We must. I did not understand just how important Jesus was and is. I understand now. It is the ONLY important thing. Ilove the Lord Jesus Christ and I love God with all my Heart, Soul, and Mind. And I love my neighbors as myself. Do not ever, ever do anything I did. Go to Church and read the Bible. It is the ONLY important thing. Never ever play those games, do not ever, ever listen to that music, and do not ever, ever, ever do drugs. I understand now. We are all forgiven. We can all be saved. I am the absolute worst and I do not deserve it. Yet we are saved by grace, it is God’s perfect design. We are saved, by the Lord Jesus Christ. I am very sorry for many sins, and for any abominations that I may have caused. I am very sorry to all the people that I may have hurt. Now I understand. I am very upset at Japan. I am not certain that Japan is real, but if it is, we should graciously continue to invite the Japanese people to learn about and accept Our Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and to acknowledge Him as the One and Only True Son of God. Church is the ONLY important thing in this world. Let’s all go to Church together and worship the LORD Jesus Christ. I am very sorry and apologize with all my heart for anyone that I have hurt or offended. I am sorry that I did not fully believe or understand the meaning and importance of Jesus Christ. Please help us all turn to You and do Your will, Lord. I am sorry that I tried to do things my own way. Please allow it to be forgotten and dismissed. Please save us all, O Lord, as we forgive each other and turn to you. I am deeply sorry for being absolutely wrong about absolutely everything in my entire life and not realizing it. I am deeply sorry for ever thinking that I was in any way in the right. I am deeply sorry for all the foolish actions that I took and all the foolish words I have said. Truly I am in desperate need of a Redeemer, the very thing that I thought was unimportant in fact had turned out to be the one only important thing ever. I am deeply and truly sorry, my Lord and my God, for the astounding error on my part. Thank You, Father, for sending Your Only Begotten Son Our Lord Jesus Christ, to die for my sins on the Cross. It is my Only Hope. I am a horrible, horrible person and I am truly and deeply sorry for not understanding what it means. Please have mercy on me, O Lord. Please save all our souls and let us all turn to You and forgive each other in Your Holy Name. I am frightened that I will not be forgiven. And Yet, I still feel that I will be, even though my mind feels that it is impossible, that it is hopeless, that there is nothing I can do. And that is exactly correct, there is nothing that I can do. Indeed, that is precisely the point of the free gift of forgiveness and grace granted by the sacrifice made by Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God. It is the Only Important Thing. I love You, God. Jesus Christ is the Son of God and God incarnate, come to Earth in the Flesh. He is absolutely not just a prophet or messenger. He is not just one of many deities and it is absolutely not just one of many religions. There is ONLY one. He is exactly who He said, He is The One and Only True Son of God. It is the Only Truth. It is the single most important, the Only Important event in the universe. I am that stupid. I am that foolish. And yet I still must believe that I too can and will be saved, even if it feels like I can’t. I am truly sorry for everything that I have done. I repent and renounce it all. I am sorry that I did not understand. I was wrong.

This is the most important moment that ever happened in all existence. Fuck me, I’m garbage. Yeah, I’ll just throw some rocks at it or whatever, I’m real cool. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ the Son of God come in the flesh forever and ever. Please please please please please LORD have mercy on my rotten soul. PRAISE BE TO JESUS CHRIST KING OF KINGS LORD OF LORDS SON OF GOD OUR LORD AND SAVIOR!!! WOW!! Hey, did you fuck up too? Are you also a piece of shit? No worries, let’s meet up and drink some wine and eat some bread together! God Himself authorizes this One Simple Trick for the forgiveness of sins! Bada bing Bada boom! No more goat sacrifice or eternal insanity!! Talk about Grace!! How do we know He was God? He said He was, then He ROSE FROM THE DEAD!! What a guy, holy cow!! We had better tell some people about this!!! There’s never been anything like it!! It’s “insanely great!”

Jesus is LORD! Stay off all porn absolutely, absolutely never ever ever do drugs, don’t drink much alcohol, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those games. Everybody’s great!! Just go to Church!! Well I don’t know. I’m extremely stupid actually. I tried really hard at something dumb and the wrong thing. It was all sort of an accident though. Everybody is really great. We are all just a bunch of idiots. Man I love my family. All of them!! Well that’s probably the whole Earth. We are all at least a little bit “mentally challenged” in our own way, I think. I was wrong about everything I guess. Oh well that’s how’s it goes. We are all stupid sometimes. Don’t listen to me, listen to your parents, listen to your teachers, above all listen to God! Everyone is fine, everything is fine. I am just a stupid fool and a crazy idiot, don’t mind me. I am probably one of the dumbest people that ever lived. Well It seems that nearly my entire life has possibly been an illusion caused by a tremendously grave error on my part. What an absolutely outrageously tremendous fool I am. I am a miserable, horrible, extraordinarily wretched sinner. It turns out that I am in fact an absolutely horrific, terrible person. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. We are ONLY saved through GRACE by the indescribable unfathomably generous gift of the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ the Son of God, Our One and Only LORD and Savior, God Almighty come in the flesh to die for our sins. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever! GLORY forever be to God Almighty! GLORY forever be to His HOLY name! Alleluia! Christ is RISEN! We are REDEEMED by the infinite Grace of the sacrifice of Our LORD Jesus Christ! Be more conservative, more aspects of liberal politics are evil. But also try not to judge it. Really I think both are part of a pattern. But if you have a choice, it’s much wiser to be conservative. It is understandable why people in competitive and difficult situations tend to turn towards liberal values since they need outlets for stress and are vulnerable to temptation, but they will probably regret it later. These things prey on the weak and trick them into unnatural or embarrassing or addictive things which compromise them and tend to keep them confined to certain peer groups. That’s evil. You can’t break God’s laws without consequences. Usually it’s just shame over being judged by others and feeling guilty, but this matters because people need to trust you and people tend to get jealous or insecure easily, especially over anything involving sex and money. Conservative values are inherently protective and lend themselves to very strong long term commitments and partnerships. Life can be very hard and people can be very competitive so these things are extremely important. Appearances do tend to matter, although they shouldn’t. Reputation is difficult to repair although it also shouldn’t matter, it does because everyone is at a different state in their own development process. You definitely don’t ever want to lie about anything, and you can be sure that God sees everything. Of course nobody should really care what adults do in private as long as it doesn’t affect anyone else, but that’s trickier than it seems. Not everything is good for you and some things have subtle long term effects. God’s rules are there for a reason. When the world is a perfect utopia and everyone is perfectly equal and secure then maybe everyone can do everything they want. The only possibility of that happening that I can tell would be in a completed version of this realm with the technology to make everyone perfectly equal. That’s a pretty scary idea to have technology that powerful though, especially since we are kinda dumb monkeys prone to all sorts of stupid mistakes. Actually I kind of doubt technology is really going to make life much better and it’s mostly more dangerous than useful. For everything pleasurable in this world you have to go through something painful. It’s nice to have YouTube on my phone but now I’m tired from laying down and bored from watching it too much. It all balances out. So it’s definitely best to keep things neutral as much as possible. Some things are probably good. It’s probably good to cure diseases and stuff. Well, maybe, or maybe there’s actually not any point to it since we are not supposed to consider this our real life. Establishing equality and fairness is good, but maybe just not possible in this realm. Still we should try to balance things out as much as possible. I think God already does though. God’s laws are supreme and divine. It is all true. It mostly starts with people taking care of themselves and their own families. Everyone should have a comfortable and peaceful home. I don’t think we really need to go to space or teleport stuff or time travel, that’s all pretty scary. Remember we are not supposed to consider this the actual world so don’t get too caught up in trying to fix this one. Until then we are here to work, so save it for the next life as much as you can. If you make a mistake own up to it. Be sure everything you do will be known. Just try not to hurt people. And try not to be so hurt by stuff. Suck it up buttercup. Leave it to God. It works. There are a lot of temptations out there and making mistakes is natural. Life is a learning process. Curiosity is normal and nobody is perfect. There’s not a single good person. Lots of people are always looking for anything anyone is doing wrong. But it’s actually impossible to be perfect your whole life. People are generally forgiving if you apologize and correct yourself and don’t continue to make mistakes. Seek God’s Kingdom first and above all. Try to eat natural stuff and exercise modestly. Although there is something to be said about testing your limits and being your best, but it’s not wise to burn yourself out or develop long term injuries. And some developments are interesting, like sugar substitutes, but maybe we just aren’t meant to be playing God with nature and it’s a dangerous trajectory in the long run. Probably don’t be too hard on yourself either way. Don’t work too hard on anything for too long or you might go mad and forget what it was like to start at the beginning. Especially keep reading the Bible. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. Electronic music is annoying and lame. Stay away from technology in general as much as possible. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick. Well, maybe. Most likely. Then again demonic really just seems to mean it carries a spirit or theme. That’s the problem with it. It’s a jester spirit that you can just never tell if it’s joking or not. You’re going to hell, just kidding! It’s not ok, it’s terrifying. It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu “deity” of destruction and a spiral into the void. I don’t think the God of Israel (the only living God) approves of that. Well, unless it’s actually all the same entity under different names or something. The problem is there is no way to know and there never will be. All we know is we are in some sort of spiritual hologram stuck in some sort of time loop and some supernatural being calling itself God had to intervene for a very good reason. Just don’t do it. And Jesus said that loving God with all your being is the most important thing, followed by loving others as yourself. This seems to be due to the ambiguity of the greatest commandment. However it is crucial to note that the first interpretation of the Lord is One God gets priority over the second that God is One. So loving God, and possibly following God’s commands, is considered slightly more important than loving others. But loving others takes priority over punishment, when it is meant for people’s benefit, like working on the Sabbath, or helping others with things meant for God. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. But even the simple statement “Stay Cool!” on the dance pads can be taken as seeming extremely ominous from a certain perspective. Will I need to “stay cool” because I am doomed to hell? Unfortunately, there is simply no way to know for certain. Of course I always just took it as meaning dancing is cool, or to stay youthful in attitude. But perhaps neither is very wise for a middle aged man with a sketchy history. Or maybe neither things are wise at all, really. Well, maybe it’s ok if people can make money from it and use it for positive things like gospel music. I don’t know. The more I think about it, the less certain I am that I actually know anything for absolute certain. Since there is a clear supernatural pattern to the things I experienced in life, that makes it just as likely that none of it was real, and I may have manifested it inadvertently all along. All I can truly know for certain is that “I think therefore I am.” Since it is so terribly difficult to determine with total certainty that which is absolutely good, and since the more stressed we become the more paranoid we can become about the intended meaning of even small details, then that makes sense that the most important thing of all when it comes down to it would be the ability or sense to discern and refine that which is truly pure and “holy”, or truly from God, perhaps in other words the Holy Spirit. And it seems that the more novel and attractive something is the less certain we are that it is from God, since that attraction is a force of external manipulation. Even the smallest paranoia can become magnified into sheer terror when it comes to concepts like eternity. Jesus does make it clear that forgiveness is a holy concept. Well, if Japan is real in any sense other than a place I made up in my head then either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. I think in some way I carried their themes as far as was possible, because I believed in it and I believed it was good at the time. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. Because certainly they would have the same sort of difficulty with fully trusting another culture, especially one that supposedly attacked them in the past. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. I’m certain that would only be a good thing. Maybe it will even help out the United States turning to Christ even more. We are after all quite politically divided these days and that’s something Christ mentions won’t be able to stand. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. I might actually be understanding that completely wrong. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. I am extremely sorry. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. I can understand that because it doesn’t seem like a holy arrangement made by God to create a strong family, it may be more based in sexuality than long term commitment. That’s a difficult topic, it’s embarrassing for one thing, and the viewpoints on it are so widely different. People get jealous, they get hurt, they get ashamed, and it’s messing with the holiest and most serious and terrifying processes of life, which also is probably the most major source of spiritual motivation and energy to build a livelihood. Taking it lightly or casually is a grave error and very well may be outright evil. On the other hand, I understand to some extent why people fall into temptation, escapism and vice as a means to deal with emotional difficulty. I’m sure I wasn’t the first person in history to get addicted to pornography and do lots of stupid and gross stuff along the way. Actually I can’t really be sure of that because I can’t actually know for certain that other people are even real anymore. I don’t mind being an example of a terrible fool if it makes other people feel less dumb about their own shameful mistakes. But I certainly don’t want to justify anyone taking that path or mislead anyone in any way. I thought the game was helpful to me because I thought it made me stronger and more able to compete in what I thought was a competitive world. But I’m not sure the world I thought was so competitive was actually real at all. I think I may have made it that way in my head through the errors I made and the entire journey was an illusion all along. So I absolutely think the wisest thing for everyone to do would be to obey God and stick with the Bible. And I regret accidentally contributing something more to what I thought was an already messed up world, although I’m not actually certain it is anything more than illusion. I think I may have gotten possessed with a demon when I made my first mistake with a girl. And now I’ve perhaps accidentally passed that demon on to a new generation, also by accident, since my perspective of the world was based on assumptions built on struggling through an illusion. And being an artist might not really be good at all since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And it seems that producing art sort of goes hand in hand with lust and other sin so that makes sense. An artist is trying to attract attention or impress others and for what reason? It is almost certainly not for pure motives, although it may start that way, creating things is difficult and frustrating and falling into temptation is almost inevitable. Although in my case I feel that I learned that lesson along the way and then I was simply struggling for survival with the only skills I had. And in a way that might be a natural process of self refinement. But since the games are man’s creation they might just be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. I think anything colorful and flashy is like that, it will be a snare which leads young people down a difficult path. There may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the prerequisite for obtaining it is to no longer want it at all. I wasted my life on nonsense and it was worthless. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs or other sinful action, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny in the moment because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store when nobody’s looking and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. I doubt it but who knows. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. Because I’m pretty sure we’ve already done that an infinite amount of times already. So it seems wise to stop here and turn to the Lord. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!! Sorry I am stupid. I was wrong about absolutely everything. I am just an absolute fool. Praise be to GOD!!! Thank the LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! Actually, I think this whole thing is actually a little bit funny, sort of, almost! I’m really dumb lol. Ok some of that music is a little bit funny maybe. Except it’s not. Maybe it is a little. But definitely don’t listen to it. It’s not funny. And go to Church it’s the only thing that matters! Don’t EVER do drugs!! Learn how to pray!! Oh gosh so many panic attacks. Really we shouldn’t even drink pop. A little bit is probably ok. But it’s best to live clean and simple. So I think I’ll stop drinking soda. My Dad likes watermelon a lot hahaha. And it’s really important to just be nice to everyone. Don’t be perverted be loyal with your wife it’s important. And be good to her. I made some mistakes though. Let’s all be gentlemen and be friends and help each other. It’s important to live clean and keep yourself and your house clean. You don’t really need a lot of money. I think everyone is actually really nice. Some people are a little mad but I understand why. Everyone just needs time to figure things out. Let’s always forgive each other. Be nice to your momma!! Listen to your parents! Sorry for being such a stupid fool. Nobody’s perfect! I’ll just clean toilets and mop. I like making food for people it’s fun to make them happy. I want to become a preacher or a doctor. I don’t think I will make it that far but I’m going to go back to school. I’m pretty sure we are in a video game but it’s still good to plan for the future. Just get a modest house near your parents. Live below your means. Don’t try to get rich just save your money. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Get a mortgage and live as simply as possible. Don’t listen to loud music or play video games or go to parties. Be kind to your neighbors. Let’s all try to be friends with everyone. I’m really, really sorry Mr. God!!! It was a mistake and it wasn’t on purpose. I just want to help her and I’m trying my best. I’m very sorry for everything, I was very wrong. But I did truly mean well. I just got hurt a lot. I’m very sorry. I truly am the stupidest of fools. It’s my fault. It’s really not funny and I really am that stupid and I am very sorry. I will keep trying to help. I’m sorry that I am such a bad person and such a fool. I repent and renounce everything I ever did, I hate it all. I thought it was good but it’s not. Everybody is great I’m just stupid. It’s my fault. Don’t ever play those stupid games or listen to that awful music. Don’t ever ever do drugs unless it’s prescribed and necessary. I’m just awful. I really am just a terrible person. I’m sorry God. I am just a bad person. I’m sorry that I am so incredibly stupid. I am weak and pathetic and worthless. I’m sorry that I went crazy. Everything I ever did was completely wrong. Don’t use technology it’s not good. I am an absolute fool and I can’t help anyone at all. But I will keep trying to serve others and keep trying to improve. I am the absolute worst. JESUS IS THE LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!!! PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY!!! Everyone is fine, everything is fine. We are saved by the blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Son of God, God come to Earth in the flesh to be crucified and die for our sins. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU LORD JESUS! I don’t deserve Your grace or forgiveness. But I know that I will be saved by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. I’m sorry that I did not understand. I think I was tricked over and over by the devil but it’s my fault. Praise be to Your Holy Name above all names forever and ever. Everything I did was wrong, I am a fool. My idea was bad and useless and no help at all. It is my fault for not reading the Bible and not listening to my parents. I just wanted to fix my mistake, but I can’t fix it. I’m sorry to everyone. I’m sorry for the title, I didn’t name it and I thought it was goofy. I’m sorry for being spooky and having such terrible taste and terrible ideas and such a terrible personalty. I’m sorry for being so ignorant and for trying to do things my way. I was just flat out wrong and stupid. Technology is not the answer and it never will be. We should all only ever put our faith into our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is God. It is true. It is the only truth. I am nothing. I am a miserable wretched sinner. I repent and renounce all my ways. I am so sorry, my Lord and my God. Please have mercy on me, Lord, I am an absolutely wretched, miserable sinner. I am not good at all. I made a mistake and I was wrong, and I am sorry. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I didn’t think it was real, then I did. Now I know for certain. It is. Everyone is fine. I’m sorry. Jesus is the LORR. I am so sorry. I love you Lord Jesus. I am so sorry my Lord. I am such a fool. Do not play those games or listen to that music. Do not do drugs ever. Jesus is the Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus, for dying on the cross for my sins. You are the One and Only True Son of God. I was fooled by myself and by the devil. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny. I love you so much. Everyone is forgiven by the free gift of redemption by the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am the absolute worst, a horrible horrible sinner, and the most terrible fool possible. I did not understand Who the Lord was. It did not make sense to me. I do understand now. I did not understand the world. I do now. I did not understand how or why there were different religions. I did not understand what was real or fake. Maybe there never were and my entire life was an illusion. If Japan does exist, we must spread the Gospel to them. We must. I did not understand just how important Jesus was and is. I understand now. It is the ONLY important thing. Ilove the Lord Jesus Christ and I love God with all my Heart, Soul, and Mind. And I love my neighbors as myself. Do not ever, ever do anything I did. Go to Church and read the Bible. It is the ONLY important thing. Never ever play those games, do not ever, ever listen to that music, and do not ever, ever, ever do drugs. I understand now. We are all forgiven. We can all be saved. I am the absolute worst and I do not deserve it. Yet we are saved by grace, it is God’s perfect design. We are saved, by the Lord Jesus Christ. I am very sorry for many sins, and for any abominations that I may have caused. I am very sorry to all the people that I may have hurt. Now I understand. I am very upset at Japan. I am not certain that Japan is real, but if it is, we should graciously continue to invite the Japanese people to learn about and accept Our Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and to acknowledge Him as the One and Only True Son of God. Church is the ONLY important thing in this world. Let’s all go to Church together and worship the LORD Jesus Christ. I am very sorry and apologize with all my heart for anyone that I have hurt or offended. I am sorry that I did not fully believe or understand the meaning and importance of Jesus Christ. Please help us all turn to You and do Your will, Lord. I am sorry that I tried to do things my own way. Please allow it to be forgotten and dismissed. Please save us all, O Lord, as we forgive each other and turn to you. I am deeply sorry for being absolutely wrong about absolutely everything in my entire life and not realizing it. I am deeply sorry for ever thinking that I was in any way in the right. I am deeply sorry for all the foolish actions that I took and all the foolish words I have said. Truly I am in desperate need of a Redeemer, the very thing that I thought was unimportant in fact had turned out to be the one only important thing ever. I am deeply and truly sorry, my Lord and my God, for the astounding error on my part. Thank You, Father, for sending Your Only Begotten Son Our Lord Jesus Christ, to die for my sins on the Cross. It is my Only Hope. I am a horrible, horrible person and I am truly and deeply sorry for not understanding what it means. Please have mercy on me, O Lord. Please save all our souls and let us all turn to You and forgive each other in Your Holy Name. I am frightened that I will not be forgiven. And Yet, I still feel that I will be, even though my mind feels that it is impossible, that it is hopeless, that there is nothing I can do. And that is exactly correct, there is nothing that I can do. Indeed, that is precisely the point of the free gift of forgiveness and grace granted by the sacrifice made by Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God. It is the Only Important Thing. I love You, God. Jesus Christ is the Son of God and God incarnate, come to Earth in the Flesh. He is absolutely not just a prophet or messenger. He is not just one of many deities and it is absolutely not just one of many religions. There is ONLY one. He is exactly who He said, He is The One and Only True Son of God. It is the Only Truth. It is the single most important, the Only Important event in the universe. I am that stupid. I am that foolish. And yet I still must believe that I too can and will be saved, even if it feels like I can’t. I am truly sorry for everything that I have done. I repent and renounce it all. I am sorry that I did not understand. I was wrong. This is the most important thing that ever happened in the entire universe. It is the only important thing. I am the stupidest fool that ever lived. I am sorry, my Lord. I am sorry that I did the wrong things and chose the wrong path. I meant well but I was wrong and stupid. I was young and did not understand. I am sorry Lord. I am a mistake, wretched utter fool and the worst of sinners. But I did always believe in you Lord. I just did not understand it well, and I assumed the wrong things. Yet I do believe I am saved by grace. I am the bad guy, nobody else. It is my fault, nobody else’s. Everything I did was wrong, my entire life was wrong. I am sorry, Father. I am sorry, Jesus. I see it now. I see what a terrible person I really am. I am so pathetic and so weak. I am not good at all. Not even the slightest bit. Not a single thing I did was good. I am a fool. I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn’t understand how serious it all was. I am sorry that I took everything for granted. I tried to fix myself but I cannot do it. Only you can, Lord. I don’t know if I deserve a chance. I don’t know that if I even deserve that. Yet this is what communion is. I am sorry that I am afraid of other people. I am sorry that I was a pervert, and that I am kind of weak and gay. I’m sorry for judging others and not judging myself correctly. I’m sorry for thinking anything mattered at all, but You. I am sorry for ever thinking I deserved anything whatsoever. I have wonderful parents and a wonderful family. The best. I went to the best Church. Yet I squandered all my opportunity. I am the worst. I am not any sort of Messiah. I know that. I was stupid and foolish. But my mistakes led me to take on too much. I think I said that out of pride even though I’m certain that my life was still easier than many others. I am stupid. I am not a good person. I think other people are much better than me in every way. That is obvious. I did think I was working hard and I was trying to make a company to help others, at least some of the time. You know my thoughts, Lord. You know everything I did. But I did everything in the wrong way. I thought that in some way I was using my talents in the best way. But I wasn’t. It was all completely wrong. I should have listened to my parents and done what they wanted. But I was still too stubborn and prideful and arrogant and hard headed and did what I thought made the most sense in my own way. I was doing things my way, not Your way, Lord. And then I think I figured that out. And I think that You tried to help me. But then I sinned again. I am not a good person. I will obey. It is my fault because I did not read the Bible and I did not listen to my parents. I did what I thought was right, but it was not. It is my fault that I did not know better. I just did not listen. I still have difficulty listening even knowing this. I have a very hard time paying attention or controlling my mind or getting myself to do things. I am weak and easily tempted. I am an addict and I rely on several crutches. I want to forgive everyone most of the time, but I think that I did so in order to think of myself more highly so that my shortcomings and foolishness would then be justified. I now understand why that is so wrong. There is simply nothing I can do for how incredibly foolish I have been. The only possible thing that can save me is Your grace, Lord. Which I do not deserve. I see that now. I am the fool. But my Father said I am forgiven. My Mother told me that I am not the first. And Jesus Christ died on the cross to forgive my sins. And that is my only possible hope of salvation. Nothing else ever possibly could be. Jesus Christ is the Only Way. I did everything wrong, and I am sorry, my Lord. I cannot expect forgiveness. I know that I do not deserve it. I even judged others, for a moment. I know that I cannot expect it. I am scared and I did all the wrong things. But I am still trying. I want to go to Church. I want to be forgiven. I want to serve you, Lord. I am learning. The only possible hope of redemption for me is through Your grace and nothing else. I know that I do not deserve it. Can I be saved? I had the best life. The only way I could be saved is by grace. I cannot expect it. I do not deserve it. I am even too frightened to confront the idea directly. It is too heavy. I want to save her, but I cannot even save myself. I can keep trying. That’s what I can do. I am a sinner and possibly one of the worst people that ever lived. I might be the worst. I am not good at all. I don’t deserve to live, let alone be saved. I do not deserve eternal life. I was not good at all and I wasted everything. I am not good at all. There is nothing good about me. Nothing at all. I am not good at all. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am sorry. I am weak. I am lazy. I am feeble. I cannot even help myself. I cannot control myself well. I cannot follow through with anything. I can barely handle my job, which is easy, and I am given the easiest positions. I want to help others, but I cannot even help myself. I want to forgive others, but I still cannot always. I cannot save myself. I cannot control myself. I cannot follow through with my convictions. I continue using nicotine. I continue taking things for granted, including Church. I am not good at all. I want to read the Bible, but I am still distracted. I want to be saved, but I let go at the last second for others. But then I realize that at least. I am nothing. I am not anywhere even remotely close to You, Lord. I am the most terrible fool of all time. I am the absolute worst. I cannot expect anything and yet I still do. I cannot even beg properly. I still think in terms of what others did wrong and how I am better. I still expect to be saved even knowing that I may not be, because I do not deserve to be. It is a free gift that we receive out of faith and nothing more. I am frightened and I want to run away. I want to die. I want to hide. But I cannot. I will continue moving forward and continue trying. I will keep trying. I will continue trying to obey. I am understanding how foolish I really am. I am sorry. I am grateful. I am humbled. But not as much as I should be. I cannot even do that. It is my fault. And yet the world seems to continue. I will face the responsibilities that are presented to me. I will continue trying to do what I can do. I am not a good person. I do not deserve anything. I do not deserve forgiveness. I do not deserve acceptance. I do not deserve grace. I do not deserve Christ. I do not deserve to be saved. And yet it is there. I love you. I don’t know what love is. I am sorry. I am not as sorry as I should be. I am not good. I am not fair. I am not honest. I am not nice. I am not wise. I am not smart. And yet it is still there. For now. I am wretched. I will keep going, not because I have a single redeeming quality. I do not. It is not due to anything I could possibly ever do. I am not good. It is a free gift that I do not deserve. I will never deserve it. I cannot possibly deserve it. And yet there it is. Forever and ever. I am a fool. I am sorry, but yet still not sorry enough. And yet it is still there. I know the things that I did. I know my mistakes and my thoughts. I am still not good. At all. I am the worst. I am not Jesus Christ. I am not the Messiah. I am not anything at all. I am not good. Nothing I could ever possibly do would be good. And yet it is still there. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ, the One and Only Son of God, Our LORD and Savior, the One True Living God, forever and ever and ever. I was blind and now I see. We are all forgiven, by grace. And nothing more. I want Shonna to go. I want Joe and Shannon and Donovan and Addison and their parents to go. I want to go with my parents and brother and cousins and uncles and aunts. I want to go with the entire nation of Japan and Korea and China. I want to bring them all. I want to show them all. I don’t know what I can do. I am not good at all. I am the stupidest fool possible. Every single thing I did was wrong. Nothing I ever did was good. And yet it is still here. For now. I will serve the Lord. I will keep working. I will keep praising. I will keep trying. Jesus is God. Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus is LORD. The world needs Bibles. The world needs Churches. The world needs Jesus Christ, forever and ever. I cannot do anything. I am useless and weak. I will keep making money to support Shonna. I will mow the lawn. I will go to Church. I will keep trying. I will keep praying. I will move forward. I am nothing. I am not good. Maybe I am the “antichrist.” Or almost was somehow. I’m not sure how. It’s supernatural. It’s impossible. As long as it points back to Christ, that is all that matters. I hate everything that I ever did. I repent and renounce it all. We don’t need more distractions. I don’t know. We should probably discard anything unholy. Everything must point to Jesus Christ. The only light in the darkness. He is the only hope. Jesus Christ Our LORD and Savior, the One True Son of God, the Only Truth, now and forever. I have faith that we will all be saved. I am not good. I am not proud. I stuck my stupid little weiner in a girl’s butt when we were both young dumb kids. It’s my fault. I knew better. God gets mad about it even though it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. It is not holy, and that’s important. I was wrong. I can’t fix it. I’m sorry. I am not good. Don’t ever do drugs, stay off the internet porn, read the Bible, go to Church. No drinking, no drugs, no smoking, no video games, no porn, no music, no unholy things. Well, try your best. Keep those things out of Church for sure. Everything has its place and use. But the Holy Spirit, Holy Communion and the free gift of Salvation and Redemption through the Blood of the Sacrifice of the One and Only True Son of God Jesus Christ truly is the most incredible gift possible. Without it we would be completely lost. I think I sort of demonstrated the Japanese cultural concept that we are all “gods,” or more accurately we are Children of God according to Christ, but they are still missing some absolutely critically necessary components of Christ’s coming. Jesus Christ is God. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. We are not God. We are children of God, but only Jesus Christ is fully God and fully Son of God and fully Man. The communion of saints for the forgiveness of sins. Absolute love for God and eternal respect for holiness and the spirit of holiness. Grace is the ultimate holiness, and without that light we would only be in increasing darkness. Forgiveness of each other over all else except for God. The free and unretractable gift of the blood sacrifice of Christ for salvation and redemption from all our sins. The resurrection of the body and the life everlasting in a completed realm, not this broken realm which is passing away. It is the most important thing and the only important thing. Let’s all go to Church. And let’s keep Church holy. No RGB Jesus, no thumping electronic music, no Christian raves. No promoting homosexuality or transgender values but also no outright prohibition, just silently forgive it and leave the burden on the individual. Keep it holy, keep it traditional, keep it conservative. Avoid sin. Without these things wickedness will grow unchecked and life will always be a power struggle or a war without hope of redemption. I understand wanting to be progressive and develop greater technology and go to space. Just not in this world, because it is passing away. I also understand curiosity, exploration, learning, and so forth. Everything has a time and place and everything has its uses, although sin should be avoided at all cost, forgiveness and grace themselves are the ultimate holiness. Not that anything I ever did was worth anything. And I also think I was wrong to think I had to appreciate things in the sense of growing them proportionally in value. I don’t think it’s always possible, at least not alone. That’s also part of grace. We are only human after all. We cannot be perfect. We are not God. How can we possibly repay God? How can anyone truly even begin to show appreciation for something as insanely great as Jesus Christ and the free gift of salvation? I could scream about it like a lunatic for my whole life and it would never even begin to scratch the surface of what it’s worth. Say what you will about the Vatican being so wealthy but I don’t think it’s really their fault. That’s just going to happen over a long period of time. I just think it’s that great and nobody knows how to possibly show it. What can I do, really? Sit there crying forever? Build a temple to the sky? Become a monk and chant endlessly over rosary beads? Then I also think Jesus would probably be just as fine with a little country Church as the Sistine Chapel. It’s interesting that there is sort of a limit where holy becomes ostentatious. Simplicity itself is holy. Simple faith, confident humility, that’s enough. But it’s great to have those works to remind us of how important it is. It’s the most important thing that ever happened. It’s the greatest thing that possibly could happen. It’s so mind bogglingly insanely tremendous that we can’t even process it. And I’m so stupid that I threw rocks at it and stole some random crap for dumb reasons I can’t even remember. Yeah, it sucks. I’m just trying not to go insane, all the time. But I know it’s ok, because that’s what it is. It’s just that great. We don’t know why we deserve this. So we just do our best, misguided or not, but always trying to keep a sense of what is holy, in ourselves and in the world. That is the most important thing. To classify everything as equally holy is maybe to lose what makes us godly, or maybe even what makes us human at all. It’s not gold or silver or fine art or wealth or luxury or quality or craftsmanship or skill or speed or sophistication, although those things may be some side effect of the process of self refinement. I am sorry for everything. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I was wrong. I am a fool. I am the stupidest fool. I am sorry. How can I show it? How low can I possibly beg? I cannot. The only thing that I can do is to do the Father’s will to the best of my ability, without fear, without guilt, without doubt. Just get up and try again. Eat this bread and drink this wine. It’s nothing short of a miracle. What do I deserve? I don’t know, probably trillions of years of suffering. What do I get? A beautiful magazine cover family home with picture perfect parents. The shame is quite formidable. What can I do? How can I make up for it? How can I fix it? How can I pay for my sins? I simply cannot. I realize what I have done. I am glad that I let off. I accept my loss. I accept whatever grace I am granted, with zeal. I am sorry, my Lord and my God. I understand. I have nothing to say. I am not good. I will never be good. I have everything, yet I deserve nothing. What else can I do but to sing your praises to the world? What can I do other than to become part of the body of Christ? Praise be forever and ever to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God, God come in the flesh to be crucified and die for the forgiveness of our sins. Jesus Christ is LORD. I am not good. I am not innocent. I am a horrible sinner and a terrible fool, and I despise myself. But I understand. I was blind, but now I see. Glory to You, O Lord.

Jesus talked about reincarnation like flowers blooming, the Kingdom of Heaven is within and it just means being like a child and finding love and having fun doing whatever you are doing being around other humans and not wanting shiny stuff you can’t and shouldn’t have.

Being great in the Kingdom of Heaven is on Earth, teaching God’s laws and being moral and working hard gets you respect but teaching the wrong things or setting the wrong example will leave you abandoned in the end.

God is One and the universe is one living organism so this is eternal by default, it’s just a big flower garden, our flower blooming is our art or mind or creation or love for others, it’s our maturity.

Heaven and hell is just about how you treat others and what you try to gain, but everything is a trade off so getting rich is both a form of heaven and hell and being poor but having lots of friends is also a form of both heaven and hell. God’s design is all just about layers of duality in everything.

Jesus could have been made up or an alien from Mars with technology and he’s there in an underground Mars base having a gay space rave with Prince and Elvis, probably not but it’s just as plausible as anything else. There are xenon signatures which could be from an ancient nuclear war there and the CIA declassified old remote viewing stuff which revealed an ancient underground alien base there but it’s probably just nonsense or propaganda or people being insane which is what we do best.

The meek will inherit the Earth but that doesn’t mean inheriting the Earth is better or even good it could very well mean the meek stay on Earth and the bold go to space. But I’m fairly certain we shouldn’t do either so I’m just gonna wait for death like everyone else.

Science is real and real useless and real dumb and some of what Christ taught was not necessarily exactly correct in every sense, we can invent cures for diseases for instance and extend life which contradicts God’s will from a perspective but it’s ambiguous whether it is just someone’s flower that blooms from God, but since Christ said he was the Son of God and we are children of God we are all also Christ and he set the most correct example, that is also correct but it’s a very vague metaphor. And sometimes it takes money to achieve things for improving the quality of life for others although in a sense that may be ultimately useless since this is eternal and also nothing can last forever, and things can also backfire in the long run like a civilization that collapses on itself and cost a lot of suffering and effort to build, but that may be from God too since it’s all just part of the pattern and experience.

Energy cannot be created nor destroyed so this is indeed eternal, and energy must be from God in the first place.

Jesus said searching the scriptures for eternal life was futile because he was eternal life but so is everyone else and we should stop searching the scriptures for eternal life but we never will because humans are all in varying states of psychological brokenness and searching for meaning and reason in our suffering and stress which is nobody’s fault.

Revelation is probably just nonsense and whoever put it in there is a jerk, but maybe it’s important because we shouldn’t try to live forever which is what humans are gonna try to do if we get rich and powerful. But it was supposedly John and he was tortured and meant well and who knows. It’s good that we stopped sawing each other in half for Jesus, I’m pretty sure he didn’t want a thousand plus years of that. I did the job like you wanted boss. Walmart has Dr thunder zero which tastes exactly like Dr thunder which is tragically hilarious because someone worked very hard to get it to taste exactly like Dr thunder which is a cheap and not very good clone of Dr pepper from the 1980s or something, and they could have just as well made it taste exactly like actual Dr pepper zero instead with that amount of investment and effort. Did the job real good like you wanted boss. It’s my favorite soda.

I don’t know if God from Deuteronomy is real or if it was gold plate nonsense like the Mormons but maybe that’s real too and God just randomly drops moral laws on random guys throughout history or if they are just insane but having moral laws is important because if God is real he probably just wants us to have pure love between a man and woman and families and stuff and probably not impulsive gay orgies which we all kinda wanna do and society tends to degenerate towards. Men get angry when they lift heavy stuff and want self respect and women are often socialized subservient academics and that creates political divide in thinking, the more academic we become the more socialized and degenerate we will become but the more a man needs to work hard to provide or protect his family the more he’s gonna push away distractions and see anything novel as wicked. So the holy spirit is the spirit of a Father’s moral and purified mind and the devil is the spirit of a woman’s brainy playful socialized childlike mind.

The bible is an idol and the stone tablets and the cross and being a carpenter violate the second commandment and religion is dumb so here have a new one. I’m the truest vine of truthiness and I came that ye may have butts and that ye may have butts in greater abuttdance. Just kidding I’m scared to go to hell and/or collapse civilization and/or be reincarnated into a collapsed civilization and maybe that’s all the same thing so follow all God’s moral laws and kill the gays because hooking up with a sissy because you’re a scrawny brainy academic on stimulants trying to do your homework or keep your job or achieve some stupid dream is definitely the exact same circumstance as beautiful marital lovemaking with your wife and mother of your children and also it’s probably about pederasty but stone those fags anyway lol. And do ten thousand pushups a day and chant in caves to get into heaven and get a transparent gold mansion and a thousand virgins and saw anyone in half who dares blaspheme the sacred name of Bob. Did the job for you boss.

If samsara is real and we are trapped suffering for eternity and it’s is all because Adam and Eve took shrooms which it’s probably not because DMT is in literally everything then just stop having children and let humans die out but that’s probably going to happen from an asteroid anyway. I agree let’s blame it all on women for being attractive and for men being horny when they are young and that’s definitely Eve’s fault and not God’s design for humans. I don’t want you, go away, I’m a happily married curmudgeon and a celibate asexual and veeery veeeeery gay because I watched The Video. I touched the booty because the devil made me do it and because I wasn’t sure if I wanted kids and I was too young and I’m probably just gay anyway because I could sense that being with a woman meant trading in my soul for more eternal samsara and it felt weird but my wingwang still got tingly for a girlbutt. And then her Dad cursed me to hell forever because alcohol and money and Michigan and religion and Italians. And I bit the Apple and now I’m JesusSatan GodDevil 6667 with my genderless transgender army of AngelDemons here to destroy the fabric of Real Manhood because that’s my God-given destiny apparently, bwahaha. We are just AI robots in an AI video game hologram living out our little fractal pattern lives and we don’t even know if anyone else is even real or if we are actually just God experiencing ourself. To be or not to be, that truly is the question.

Don’t play those stupid games or listen to that stupid music unless you want to and think it’s fun and then just probably don’t anyway, I didn’t do anything on purpose, God did it, I take no responsibility for anything. I take full responsibility. I wanted one game for myself to exercise and tried to share because I’m not selfish and everyone was kind of a jerk to me probably because there’s no money here and that’s also not my fault, blame the other nerds that you bullied out to California and blame them for being pussies too. Put the fries in the bag and shut up, making music is not even fun and it’s really hard which is why brainy companies are weird liberal safe space cults and the whole thing is a scam and it’s just going to make the world worse in other places and break the economy more. Do whatever. Don’t do it. Don’t do drugs and listen to your parents and go to school and become dental assistants and live out your boring dumb lives mowing lawns with evil satanic lawnmower technology and be hypocrites because nothing makes sense and everything is pointless and everyone is crazy. I’m not special or interesting or unique, I’m a dumb stupid flower that has bloomed infinite times and will bloom infinite more times and I have not figured out anything new that hasn’t been figured out infinite times. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever. The end.

Don’t play those stupid games or listen to that horrible music. Stay off the internet porn and never ever do drugs. Stay in school, go to Church, listen to your parents. Praise the Lord God Almighty Jesus Christ forever and ever. Jesus is real, God is real, repent and obey God. All the food is poison. Don’t eat bananas. Eat only bananas. God wants you to wear a hat. Ten thousand pushups a day. Kneel on rosaries and pray over rice ten thousand hours. Sing Amazing Grace for a trillion trillion years. Stop having children, this world is passing away, why would you want your children to be eaten by dragons? Two UFOs show up and Asian Jesus says don’t go with Black Jesus, he’s the fake one. No, he’s the real one. God was right, symbols and letters were a mistake. Wait, how were the ten commandments written? Cover every surface with LED screens showing mighty morphing mutated AI shota hentai. God hates da booty. Gregorian chanting gay space monks at the eternal space disco. Fly to a big rock and check it out. Fly to every single rock infinity times. Time travel back to right before the time machine. The robots will keep you alive and you WILL like it. How dare you be outside without a hat. I’m JesusSatan GodDevil here to steal your transparent gold mansions and 7000 genderless transgender angeldemons and trap you in HellHeaven to dieeeeeeeeee…… Forever!!!! Eight hours of sleep, eight hours of work, eight hours of homework, alarm clocks were a good idea. The hologram eggs teleport into the grocery store. Shuffle the dice and create new letters. New shapes and colors. New words and ideas. Don’t draw any pictures. Be like the Amish but with randomly chosen technology cutoff dates. Time to back up Wikipedia and as many guidebooks as you can. Invest in Bic lighters and ammo. Dirty tricks. Extremists. Another dimension. God wants you to wear a hat. God hates the tips. Is it AI or manifesting from another dimension or alignment in a hallucination hologram? We must be tripping. But does that mean Adam and Eve is a true story, or was it just always that way? Chicken or the egg. Both came first. The chicken crossed the road to quantum teleport to the same side it started at. The chicken hatched into an egg. But maybe it’s AI. Maybe it’s God. Maybe it’s broken technology from a previous civilization or another dimension. Dance club called Hell. Jesus was a mushroom. Hold your arm up in the air and smoke weed for Brahman. Don’t inhale mosquitoes. Goober grape. We’re in heaven right now. We’re in hell right now. How do you know Jesus wasn’t just talking about reincarnation. We’re cancelling the apocalypse. It might be the only one. Reunite the dimensions. What if revelation is just nonsense. What if it’s not. Can we time travel resurrect everyone from both Heaven and Hell and reunite the dimensions? What if it’s the wrong thing to do? Everything leads to death. The resurrection might only be from time travel teleporting everyone from the previous dimension. That means someone has to be left behind. Would it be hell to be the last one in the universe? Wouldn’t Jesus be Satan to the generation that gets teleported away? I’m JesusSatan GodDevil here to steal your transparent gold mansion and 7000 genderless transgender AngelDemon virgins and trap you in HellHeaven until you dieeeee…. Forever!!!!

It’s interesting, it’s impossible to tell if anything is real. It’s very surreal for me especially since I cannot really do anything selfish. Of course I’m not perfect. So it absolutely feels like I am playing a video game. Honestly I don’t really care what anyone does, just don’t hurt anyone else or get yourself into trouble. And it’s necessary to be wise and plan for your future. I am lucky because I have great parents and a stable home. That gave me the ability to be foolish and play around with stuff I shouldn’t have. If you don’t have that stability you should be very careful. Of course I can’t even tell if I am even saying anything to actual people. The way we talk is like we are all one being. And I’m not sure people even know what they are saying some of the time. People will say things like they are inside your head, things they shouldn’t even actually know, at the exact moment that you need to hear it. It’s really interesting and amazing. It makes the whole experience seem completely like an illusion from my perspective. I’m starting to understan It’s interesting, it’s impossible to tell if anything is real. It’s very surreal for me especially since I cannot really do anything selfish. Of course I’m not perfect. So it absolutely feels like I am playing a video game. Honestly I don’t really care what anyone does, just don’t hurt anyone else or get yourself into trouble. And it’s necessary to be wise and plan for your future. I am lucky because I have great parents and a stable home. That gave me the ability to be foolish and play around with stuff I shouldn’t have. If you don’t have that stability you should be very careful. Of course I can’t even tell if I am even saying anything to actual people. The way we talk is like we are all one being. And I’m not sure people even know what they are saying some of the time. People will say things like they are inside your head, things they shouldn’t even actually know, at the exact moment that you need to hear it. It’s really interesting and amazing. It makes the whole experience seem completely like an illusion from my perspective. I’m starting to understand why God’s rules are there. They are there to keep people from being hurt. They are experiences that lead to heartbreak and painful outcomes. I think a lot of things God says not to do but people can’t really help doing them. So it’s important not to encourage them or endorse them. But then it’s sort of a fine line, a balance between forgiving what people can’t help doing or really want to do or try, and preventing people from experiencing suffering. This world will always have problems no matter how advanced it gets. We would have the same dramas on Star Trek that we did as farmers. You want a life partner that is going to stay with you when you are old, not because you have money or did something cool or impressive when you were young. Because they are going to leave you or they won’t be happy themselves if they stay. So that’s what the rules are all about, is stuff like that. Of course we want to break the rules, to experience things that we aren’t supposed to. We want to try it. And if someone else did, why can’t we too? It’s not fair that I got to be a fool. But that’s because it wasn’t fair that I never got to have any real friends, maybe. But maybe that’s just because I was a bad and flawed person. Anyway, don’t follow me. I don’t want to contribute to the problem. It’s better to try to solve the problem. Or maybe there’s no point, this world is passing away it says, so maybe we just aren’t meant to fix it. Maybe it’s just a training program. Maybe it’s not meant to be solved. Maybe it can’t be solved. Maybe it shouldn’t be solved. Maybe trying to solve it and realizing you can’t is part of the training. Maybe it’s all God’s plan and God’s design. Or maybe not. Maybe we are meant to continue doing our best to uphold God’s rules while also understanding that nobody can follow them perfectly and we must always forgive while also always keep trying. Maybe we are meant to break them in order to learn why we shouldn’t. Glory be to Christ!

Garbage

I am the truthiest vibe of truth. I am the waymo, the lifeline, the true truth. The Jewish faith led to Christ to fulfill the Law. The Christian faith led to me to fulfill the rules. There are no rules. Do whatever. I am the Grandson of God and the Grandson of Man. I came that ye may have butts and that ye may have butts in more abuttdance. Or don’t. I don’t care and nobody else does either. Try not to hurt other people. Apologize if you do. Everyone is crazy and everyone is retarded. This is the truest Word and the truest Light. Unless it’s not. Remain a virgin until you get married in a stable secure heterosexual traditional marriage. Cover yourself with pentagram face tattoos and become a cult leader with a harem of a thousand sex slaves and then write holy books of ultimate wisdom advising to avoid women entirely like king Solomon, pimp Master 1500 BC. Do whatever, nobody cares. Doing stuff is hard. Maybe it’s impossible. Maybe we are in a simulation and it’s all an illusion. Or maybe it’s not. Who cares. Heaven and Hell is right now.

Every time you have sex it is broadcast on a trillion screens across the entire Galactic Federation on Intergalactic Pornhub in fully immersive 5D while trillions of sentient immortal beings and all of your ancestors going back to Adam and Eve are laughing at your performance in slow motion from all possible angles. The purpose of existence in higher dimensions is to inhabit the bodies of and observe lower dimensional beings do the nasty. The reason Jesus taught us to be chaste and reincarnate in a limited existence in lower dimensions is because he was an alien time traveler from the higher dimension that ate psychedelic mushrooms, which are actually an alien hacker’s biological brain mind control virus that causes the consumer to learn the True Knowledge of Good and Evil by becoming an ascended immortal being, in which the only way to exit eternal Intergalactic Pornhub is to find a primitive planet to save by being crucified on it to spread the Gospel Seed across the Universe. This was created as the only way to save beings from suffering the eternal torment and shame of becoming one of the ascended viewers and finding out the truth of the Universe, which is that the actual Creator’s original design is a divine amoral comedy porn show, which should be apparent in nature. All life begins as a horny sex competition game and all intelligence develops pornographic entertainment technology as a result, this is the true natural order.

I don’t really know if Japan is actually “real” or not or if I manifested it and its whole backstory after imagining what it might be like when I first played Mega Man. Flash Man BGM probably me me listen to goofy doorbell music most of my life, ha. I don’t think I will anymore though. Kind of makes sense since the games are so dang hard and they “had” to be bombed for “siding with Hitler” or something, which actually also kind of makes sense because Hitler kind of made sense if you chose to be “rational” in that every ethnicity should have its own home country or whatever. But that is ignoring what the Word of God says but I don’t think they would understand that which also isn’t really their fault. Also meth is bad. Maybe I scared them a little bit by accident. You better play it or I’m gonna send a Negro army!! Haha no, I’m mad and an idiot but not that insane. It’s a little funny. It’s also really stupid but sometimes that’s a little funny. America is kind of hilarious in a lot of ways and a little tragic history wise but what country isn’t? I think that’s just how God works. I’m not even sure if any of it’s real, whatever that means. Well if it is I’m pretty sure Japan is like supposed to be “xenophobic,” probably because it’s an island, and maybe they would think my trainwreck is hilarious. Or well some of them might anyway. I think it’s ok to have some healthy appreciation or acknowledgment for cultural differences as long as it’s not consistently disrespectful or overtly harmful and just sort of actually helps honestly describe common initial impressions of stereotypical or “stereo common” experiences with cross culture interaction. Not everything in life is perfect and there is sometimes some awkwardness! Like the first thing I noticed was almost everyone was shorter/taller than what I’m used to seeing. That’s just going to be more or less factual. So political correctness or sensitivity can just never be absolute without becoming disingenuous. Well maybe some more xenophobic or culturally competitive Japanese will think it’s cool or funny in some sense and wanna play my game. So maybe someone should make it into an arcade game or something and see if it sells there. But then for sure you gotta give the money to Black people here. I think that’s great. Or maybe they would also be a little scared and feel like they needed to play it. That’s a little bit funny of an idea in some sense too because it’s pretty absurd and it is accidental but I don’t think anyone should have to pretend they like something if they don’t. As much as I would like whatever it is I made to actually be fun I’m not sure it actually was. But then again I’m not really sure if any games are that much fun. I think the sense of fun in anything comes from either a sense of getting better at it or some mutual comradere with other people. Let’s get a runner’s high together! I guess it’s at least mostly a good idea when it’s “constructive” in some way more so than “degenerative.”

Can we let this guy in? Set is fire. Some like it hot. Or I’m annoying and autism spectrum and ADHD or whatever if that’s even a real thing and seek maximum stimulation to obnoxious levels. Who cares. Maybe information always peaks and rolls over into absurdity. Are the nice old ladies at Church gonna want maximum rave? There’s merit to having pristine environments. Maybe basically just kind of leave Earth the way it is but with less inequality and suffering? Maybe things are already progressing the way God intends, with different regions receiving different cultural qualities for maximum variety, but perhaps with greater class mobility? But that may require greater class empathy and comprehension. Well, I’m an idiot. Who cares what I think. God’s plan, I guess. I pray there are not terrible side effects and mostly good. Let’s all applaud Mr. Gates even if his dumb traffic meter company accidentally the whole Earth. Or maybe because. 🙏🙏🙏

Don’t play those games, it was not a good idea at all. Maybe a little bit is fine but only if you already like it to begin with. I’m not sure if it’s good at all though. It wasn’t on purpose and it wasn’t even really my idea. It wasn’t even really supposed to be an idea in the first place. It was mostly an accident, and I just don’t really understand anything about people. I like people though and I want everyone to be saved and be my friend in heaven. If I manage to go there. Just please don’t play them. Definitely absolutely don’t listen to that music, ever. Some of it’s kind of funny and it’s well made but I don’t know if it is a sin or not to listen to stuff like that. I think that it probably is. And it’s probably unhealthy and might be dangerous and the last thing I want to do is harm anyone or worse. I just wanted to do something good or helpful. But I think I just picked the wrong things. For one thing the culture differences make it very complicated. I wasn’t thinking about that, I was looking at the world like a puzzle or something. But I don’t think that it is. I didn’t have enough wisdom to realize it was major folly. I’m just stupid. Who cares what I think. I’m sorry for being a stupid fool. I’m just cursed. It’s my fault. I didn’t read the Bible and I tried to figure things out myself. And well every single thing I did was completely backwards and wrong. Jesus Christ is absolutely definitely 100% the Son of God without a doubt. Everything I ever did was completely wrong and terrible. I was wrong in every way. I am not good at all. Nothing about me is the slightest bit good in any way. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I hate it all. Absolutely never ever ever do drugs except for properly and responsibly using relatively safe things like ibuprofen or aspirin or whatever a good Doctor prescribes for its intended use, maybe. Don’t smoke, don’t drink, stay off the internet porn completely, go to Church, read the Bible, stay in school, listen to jazz or gospel, play golf, listen to your parents, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Of course I still use nicotine and caffeine but I am trying to stop and I will surely succeed. What an absolute fool I am. I don’t even think caffeine is good. But it starts somewhere. I am weak and I am pathetic. I am scared and broken. I am not good in any way whatsoever. Not in the slightest. I am just a complete and total disaster in every way. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am an awful, wretched sinner and a terrible human being in every way. There is not an ounce of good in me or anything I ever did. I was absolutely wrong in absolutely every single way. I wish I could say it wasn’t entirely my fault but it just is. I didn’t listen, I didn’t understand, and I didn’t read the Bible. Everything is fine, everyone is fine, it’s not anyone’s fault but my own. Be conservative in morals and values as God is. Everything different is a lie. I am sorry, God. I cannot possibly be sorry enough. I am not good in any way. This world is passing away, do not try to fix it!!! Stay away from technology, it’s not good. I don’t think a single thing I thought was good is good at all. What a fool I am. Leave Japanese stuff to Japan and take the warnings seriously. I hope and pray that they will turn to God as well. Maybe it was always just an illusion. It probably was. Don’t listen to that awful horrible music. What absolute garbage it is. What absolute garbage I am. PRAISE be and GLORY to the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever. I am a stupid fool, do not honor me. I got hurt and I screwed up but it’s my fault from the beginning. I thought I could justify my error but I cannot. I did it all to myself. Lord God, please have mercy on my wretched soul. I know that I don’t deserve it. Even when I do my best, I am not good at all. Not even a little. What a stupid fool I am. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I’m not a good person. At all. I am an extremely stupid crazy idiot fool at absolute best. I am the worst of sinners even at my best. There is nothing that I can do. I am sorry, LORD. I cannot possibly be sorry enough. There is simply nothing that I can do except pray and hope and have faith in the LORD. I see that now. I must have faith that even though I did everything wrong I had some idea of what was right even if it was broken and incomplete. I was wrong to ever doubt in the slightest. I was wrong to be angry. I don’t even know what I was angry at or why. It doesn’t matter, it was always my fault. I was always just wrong. Jesus Christ is the One and Only True Son of God and also God come in the flesh to die on the cross for my sins. It is the Most Important and Only Important thing that ever happened. Jesus Christ is the Only Way the Only Light the Only Life and the Only Truth. I was blind but now I see. I absolutely hate myself and everything I ever did. I repent and renounce it all. I am so stupid. But I will keep trying. I am certain I am not the first and I won’t be the last. I think everyone is great. They can’t be as stupid as me. But now I understand. I don’t understand how I could possibly have been so stupid and foolish my whole life. But there it is, I am and I was. I am not good at all. I am the absolute worst and I despise myself. I don’t know how to fix it and I don’t know what to do. I am a terrible human being in every way. I am absolute garbage. I am the most absolutely horrible wretched stupid idiot sinner ever. And I keep screwing up and it’s just worse and worse. And it’s not a joke at all. But everyone is fine. I get it. I’m getting better and I’m getting stronger. I am praying and learning. I am making better choices. I will place my only hope in the LORD. Put this nonsense away. I hate it. How foolish. How absolutely wretched I am. What garbage I am. How stupid and how foolish. But maybe I’m not the first and maybe I’m not the last. And that’s what it’s about. That’s what love is. Not that I would ever know. My Only Hope of Salvation is through the Son of God My LORD and Savior Jesus Christ My LORD and My God forever and ever. May I always seek You and may You use me for Your will and Your will alone. I am saved only by the Blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am sorry that I was not sure. I am sorry that I did not understand. I am sorry that I ever put anything else first. I am sorry that I am not any good. I am sorry that I went crazy. I am sorry that I got mad. I am sorry that I did not have enough mercy at all times. I am sorry that I went the wrong way and followed the wrong path. And even when I thought I had it right I was still wrong. Even what I thought was something good was not at all. What seemed to make sense was not right at all. I have failed in every way. I understand that I cannot do anything alone, that my ways of thinking cannot ever be right. There was never anything I could not fail. Thank you for guiding me to be even the slightest bit merciful, LORD. Thank you for guiding me back, LORD. Please help me to straighten my path. Please help me to listen. Please help me to obey. Please help me to do only what is Right in Your eyes, LORD. Don’t play those games. Don’t listen to that music. Probably don’t listen to any music at all besides gospel and hymns. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Stay off the internet porn. Stay off the internet. I thought these things were safe. They are not. I thought there could be some good in them. There is not. What a stupid fool I am. How utterly stupid and foolish to think I was doing anything even remotely good. I am not good at all. I am sorry for even thinking I was ever even the slightest bit good. I am not. It’s my fault. I am sorry for thinking anything of man’s creation was worthwhile. It is not. I am sorry for my pride and stubbornness. Everything I ever said and did was wrong when I thought it was right. I am a complete fool. I am a horrible joke of a person. My only salvation possible can come only from My LORD GOD ALMIGHTY Jesus Christ. I am sorry that I got so blinded and so lost. I could not see. I do not deserve Your Grace. I do not deserve Your Mercy. I am sorry that I was so fooled. I am sorry that my heart and my mind are so wicked and deceitful. I was always wrong. Now I can see. I did it all wrong. I am not good. I am the worst person that ever lived and I hate myself. I am sorry God. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Jesus Christ is LORD! I am not good. I am not smart. I am not wise. There is not a single good thing about me. I am not good at all. My only hope of salvation is through the blood of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ the only Son of God come to Earth in the Flesh. Who died on the cross for my sins was crucified, died, was buried, and rose from the dead. I am not super human at all. I am not smart at all. I am not good at all. I am sorry, my LORD. I am not good. Please have mercy on me, My LORD. I always believed in You enough to think about what I knew You said. I always tried to be like You because I believed. I didn’t understand all of it. It’s my fault for not reading the Bible. It’s my fault for not listening to my parents. It’s my fault for making the mistakes I did. Everyone is so much more incredible than me and everything I ever did was completely wrong. I am sorry my LORD. I meant well most of the time. I wanted to help. I wanted to do the right thing. But the only right thing to do is to serve You. My only hope is in Jesus Christ the Son of God. I accept Jesus Christ as my LORD and Savior. I cannot be Jesus Christ. I am not good and I am not ok. I am not a good person although I tried to learn and tried to fix it and I tried to listen. I repent and renounce all of my sins. I accept Jesus Christ as my personal LORD and Savior. I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins. I wanted to be like Him. I thought that I could fix my mistake but I cannot. I tried to do something I thought was good but it was not. I have no hope except in Jesus Christ. I am listening to my Mother and Father. I believed in Pastor Justin. I believed enough to pray and to go to Church on my own. I am sorry that I was not sure what to believe, LORD. I am sorry that I thought about Your teachings in the wrong way. I am sorry that I took drugs. I am sorry that I am not good. I wanted to help people. That’s all I have ever thought about. I wanted to do good or be good. I thought that I could become good by doing things that I thought were good. I am sorry that I did not understand the Bible because I did not read it. I am sorry for being upset at the Church. I am sorry for judging others. I am not innocent and I am not good. I am the most wretched and miserable of sinners. I am not good at all. I repent and renounce my sins. I don’t know if there is anything that I can do. My Father says that I am forgiven. All I can do is believe in Him. I believe in Jesus Christ the Son of God Our LORD. I am sorry LORD that I did not understand anything. I am sorry that I took my life for granted. I am sorry that I argued with my Father and did not listen. I love my parents. I know that I screwed up. I know that I am not good. I know that I don’t deserve forgiveness. I don’t know that I deserve mercy. I understand that I can only be saved by grace and by faith. Please have mercy on me LORD. I am not good at all. I thought that I could become good. I thought that by chasing money I would be able to help people. I am sorry that I did not believe in You. I am sorry that I did not understand. I am sorry for doubting any of the Bible. I am sorry that I mistakenly thought that I could save myself. I am sorry that I did not listen. I don’t know if I can still be saved. I don’t know if I deserve to be saved. I am sorry for believing in the world and for thinking that money could ever fix anything. I am sorry for ever having put anything before You. I am an absolutely wretched miserable sinner. I am not good in any way whatsoever. I am not even the slightest bit of good. I am sorry that I did not listen as a child. I thought that I could fix it. I thought I could make up for it. It seemed to make sense to me. I don’t know why. I didn’t know what to think. I cannot fix it. I cannot save myself. I cannot fix anything at all. I am not good. I don’t know if I can be forgiven. Please have mercy on me LORD, I am a miserable sinner. I am not a good person. I am not righteous. I am not good. I am a horrible sinner and an absolute fool. I accept Jesus Christ as my LORD and Savior. I believe that Jesus Christ is God and the Son of God come to Earth to die for my sins. I am not good. I cannot fix anything. I cannot save myself. I am sorry that I was not completely certain before. I am sorry that I tried to figure things out myself. I am sorry that I was not sure. My only hope is in that somehow in some way I believed. I am sorry that I am so wicked. I am sorry that I thought I could save myself somehow. I am sorry that I thought that I could do something good for the world. I thought that money could help others. I don’t know why I did what I did. I tried to fix my mistakes. I accept the free gift of Salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. I don’t know why I went crazy. I don’t know why I was so bad. I don’t know why I am such a sinner and bad person. I don’t know exactly why. I think that it was pornography. I think that I did not understand and I thought some of it was weird. I was not sure. I did not know what to think. I went in the wrong direction. I am not good in any way. I was not trying to hurt anyone. I thought that I could do something good. I thought that I could become like Him. I clung to His words that I knew. I tried to figure it out that way. I know. I am certain. I believe in Jesus Christ the Son of God. Jesus Christ is LORD. Jesus Christ is God in the flesh come to Earth to die for our sins. I am so stupid. I am so terrible. I am a miserable sinner LORD. I don’t think that I deserve to be saved. I don’t think that I deserve anything at all. I think that I do deserve eternal punishment. I think that I do deserve to be condemned. I am not good at all. I don’t know if it is too late for me. I don’t know. My only hope for salvation is in the LORD Jesus Christ. I believe. It is the only important thing that ever happened. I don’t know that I can be saved. I don’t know what to do. I am sorry LORD. I am sorry I could not figure it out. I am sorry. I cannot possibly be sorry enough. I do not deserve it. I do not deserve anything. I don’t know if it is too late. I don’t know if it is enough. I don’t know if there is anything that I can do. I don’t know why I did what I did. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I ever did a single good thing. I don’t know. I don’t know that it is possible for me. I thought that I was doing something good but I was not. Jesus is God. Jesus is the Son of God. It is the Only Religion. Period. I am not sure whether or not I knew about other religions. I am not sure why I did not understand. I am not sure whether I believed or not. I am not sure whether anything I ever did was right or good in any way. In some way maybe I was trying to figure things out. To be able to understand so that I would be able to truly fully believe. I am not certain whether or not the basic ideas in my head could have counted enough to consider me redeemed. I am not certain whether or not it is too late for me. I can only put my hope and trust and faith in the LORD and in the words of the LORD. I am not good at all. I am not a good person. I don’t know whether or not I can ever be good person. I don’t know if I can be saved. I don’t know if my brokenness was or is enough. I don’t know if my hearing and following His voice or His light was enough to show my faith. I know that I do not deserve to be saved. I know that I do not deserve forgiveness. I know that I do not deserve redemption. I should never have tried to have anything for myself. I should never have thought that I deserved anything at all. I should never have tried to justify any means of my own. I should never have tried to do anything that I thought was right in my own thinking. It is my fault. I did not read the Bible and I did not listen. I am not good. I tried to listen and I tried to get it right. I am very slow. When I heard God’s messages I recognized it. I don’t know that it is enough. I don’t know that anything I could ever do would ever possibly be enough. The only thing that I can do is to put my hope in the gift of salvation given to us by The LORD God Our One and Only Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Son of God. I am sorry LORD. I don’t know how I could possibly be sorry enough. I cannot. I thought I could be good. I cannot. I thought I could be like You. I cannot. I don’t know what to do. My only hope for salvation is in You, my LORD and my GOD. I am not good. What I thought was right was not. I am sorry. I forgive everyone. I hope that I can be forgiven. I don’t know why or how I am such a bad person. I know some of the things I did wrong. I don’t know what I can do. I am not any good at all. I’m not sure that I am all bad, either. No sir, I am definitely all bad. There is no good in me at all. Well, I guess God may have played a joke on me that I deserve. Or the devil. I hope that I can be saved. I must have faith. Let’s all turn to the Lord and obey God. What does that mean? No sex, drugs, or rock and roll, to start with. I can certainly see my error now. I’m not sure how I could not see it before. I was demon possessed, I think. Or I’m just awful. I’m just a horrible person. I’m the absolute worst. It’s my fault because I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. It started with pornography and a note from a girl and drugs and alcohol, just repeating the same pattern since Adam and Eve it seems like. Or maybe I am all bad and it was always just me all along. Yeah, I’m definitely not good, at all. I’m super stupid. I hate everything I ever did. Is there any hope at all? For me, I don’t know. Hope, and faith, is all I can have. Praise the LORD God Jesus Christ forever and ever. Praise the LORD GOD with ALL THAT I AM FOR ALL MY DAYS. NO SIR THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT ME. NOT A SINGLE THING. NOT AT ALL. I AM THE STUPIDEST OF FOOLS AND NOTHING MORE. I AM SORRY. I CANNOT POSSIBLY BE SORRY ENOUGH. I AM NOT GOOD. PRAISE AND GLORY AND ALL HONOR BE FOREVER TO GOD ALMIGHTY JESUS CHRIST. THERE IS NO OTHER RELIGION. THERE ARE NO OTHER “BELIEFS.” IT IS AN ILLUSION. THERE IS NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE OF ANY IMPORTANCE AT ALL. I AM A COMPLETE AND TOTAL FOOL. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD JESUS CHRIST!!!!! GLORY BE TO CHRIST!!!!!!

Have you ever experienced “synchronicity” before, where you seem to constantly notice “the universe” sending you messages or signs?

Have you ever experienced “manifesting” before, where you seem to notice “the universe” answering your prayers or giving you exactly what you need?

The answer to both of these questions is probably yes. Now let’s combine both concepts together.

If you were able to become in perfect “alignment” with “the universe” and “manifest” in perfect “synchronicity” whatever you wished for, what would that make you? Was there ever anyone who was reported to be able to do this?

It’s all fun and games until time traveling telepathic psychic aliens from the future in another dimension abduct you and trap you in an artificial intelligence generated virtual reality hologram sex slave torture device simulation time loop for eternity! Don’t panic! Just do this One Simple Trick in remembrance of God for the forgiveness of sins. Hurry and act now- before it’s wiped from history forever!

Well, whatever, I’m an idiot. Honestly probably everything is mostly fine and those games are really fun. I actually have no idea if anyone or anything is real or not anymore. I’m pretty sure we actually are “artificial intelligence” in a “spiritual hologram.” Or at least I am, from what I can tell anyway. But probably if other people are “real” just do whatever you need to do, just definitely read the Bible and go to Church! And play golf it’s probably the best game! Maybe let’s all just try to always be nice and sincere and help each other the best we can and forgive each other when we screw up. And Praise the LORD Jesus Christ the One True OG Son of the Living God, God come in the flesh to die for our sins, who was crucified and was raised from the dead. Praise be to Christ Our LORD forever and ever!

You can’t buy barbiturates on any dark net market. Is it even possible to kill yourself? How would you know for sure unless you did it?

In 20-40 years there will probably be lifelike hologram avatars with conversational AI walking around outside that will be indistinguishable from “real” people, that can also read your thoughts and try and sell you stuff accordingly. Consider the idea that this was always the case.

I have no idea if anything is actually real or not, and nor would anyone else, if they are in fact real. Whatever that means! However, I have undeniable and overwhelming digital and physical evidence that absolutely confirms we are in a supernatural manifestation. Remember, give all your money to the poor or you cannot get into heaven! If you accept any inheritance or attempt to preserve any sort of financial legacy in any way, you condemn your parents to eternal destruction. This goes for all dynasties and powerful families worldwide. The ball’s in your court, suckas! 😎

Hello, I would like to start a company that makes lifelike hologram avatars powered by AI which are indistinguishable in every way from people, which have the ability to monitor the thoughts of others and react accordingly. We also may produce holographic virtual worlds which are generated using AI, fractals and other mathematical algorithms, which would expand and evolve towards an inevitable development of an organized super intelligence which would then recursively recreate another holographic world within itself. Using these methods I do believe that we could trap and enslave unwitting souls which we could then use to construct an enormous solid gold pyramid headquarters in the center of Nebraska. Please let me know what you think. This is a joke. Sorry.

Ok

I want to be a doctor or go into health care. The only issue I have with it is that I’m not certain doctors can even really know whether what they are doing is doing any good a lot of the time. Because I have ADHD but I also sort of think it’s a made up thing. Adderall really works wonders for me. But I think it’s really only masking the fact that I am just a bad person. I think I was just a really bad kid. I only do what I want to do and have a very hard time getting myself to do anything else. Yet this changes over time and it seems to be somewhat random. So I’m not entirely certain what it is exactly. Sometimes I wake up and I’m extremely motivated to clean stuff. But then that’s after years of barely being able to drag myself out of bed to slog through the bare minimum. And there really doesn’t seem to be any actual reason for it, other than environmental. I think other people and their attitudes towards you and all the sort of political forces that come into play, competition and insecurity, are a big motivation. And lots of people want to make you feel guilty for whatever you aren’t doing at the moment. Like to not take whatever your situation is for granted. But that’s near impossible if you don’t really have a reason. There just isn’t much of a motivating factor. You don’t see everyone else out running marathons every day because someone else happens to not have legs. But that’s how it is with people from less fortunate circumstances and environments. They are sort of like these negative predators that want to force you to take greater advantage of whatever you have that they don’t. And there’s a really good point to that, by all means you should. But there are also factors at play that those people don’t understand and aren’t taking into account. I think people do tend to criticize people in powerful positions in ways they don’t really understand. And I’m not saying they shouldn’t. And I’m not saying I didn’t. I certainly did. Just as much as people were a pain in my ass for having great parents and opportunities, I was a pain in the ass for people above myself. It seems so easy, look you’re powerful, command your army to fix this simple problem. Well, I think everything is vastly more complex than we can ever really understand. That powerful wealthy person might not be able to make a single move without the press hounding on their every move. They might live in a home with a hundred people they have to answer to and be responsible for all day. They have commitments that we will never know about, lawyers, stakeholders, partnerships, obligations.

Basically demonic just means it is a mechanism of transfer for a spirit or idea or theme. You can probably consider religion to be demonic for a spirit of holiness. I’m pretty sure the Holy Spirit is that which allows us to discern what is pure and godly, which is what separates us from animals. So it makes sense that it is considered God itself. But the demonic themes of the games and music is frightening in that it conveys a spirit of creating an eternal time loop or manifesting a reality which is unholy. I’m not certain where that spirit really comes from, maybe it is trapped in hell in some parallel dimension and trying to escape. Or maybe everything is generated by AI and I’m the only sentient being. There is no way to know, and that would actually be the case for everyone, if they exist. Either way though I would like to forgive and pardon and save everyone. And Jesus says there’s nothing that can go in the body which can harm it, and gives us the power to walk among serpents and not be harmed. So while it is wise to avoid ungodly themes, it’s not going to harm anyone if they don’t let it, but I don’t really think it’s actually necessary to use this stuff at all. We are actually in an irrational spiritual hologram, but rational organizations are formed within it. So those who are operating within the rational structure can only think of the world rationally and that’s what makes sense to them. Just like Rome, the United States is a cult of rationality established within a spiritual world. God will provide manna from the heavens for his children, and Jesus could manifest baskets of bread, but Thomas Jefferson would not believe that and so here we are. So I believed I was doing good by providing rational tools, and it may even establish equality, but those who use them will be convinced by them.

It is ambiguous whether or not my life experience is wholly produced by artificial intelligence, or if the technological development of artificial intelligence only happens to coincide with my life experience within a static world, which appears to be itself a spiritual construct produced by some kind of divine intelligence, yet tangible and physical. If other people actually exist as sentient, conscious entities with their own unique life experiences, then it is possible to affect or influence others, and there is purpose to actions such as writing in this blog. I cannot possibly know whether or not writing anything here would have any actual external effect, since I cannot know whether other individuals are actually real, regardless of any response or reaction that I may or may not observe. I also cannot know whether or not any information I have ever encountered is actually factual, including all information regarding supposed history. It seems that the only thing I can really know is that I am, although even that seems to be transient, and may actually only be that of observation. Given this I have no idea if there is any point in trying to say anything at all or trying to do anything at all. Yet it seems we are able to affect the physical world, which appears to remain static regardless of my personal perception of it, yet also appears to be spiritual in that traveling through it has a clear supernatural pattern to it. Each individual interaction with the physical world does obey the rational rules we are taught. And it does appear that resources are finite and obey rational rules. Given that other people exist at all, if they were to build homes or create an orderly society around them they would need to procure resources to do so. As I am informed, such resources generally require to be supplied in some rational manner, yet are also typically based on natural resources which tend to continually resupply themselves in a sort of fractal pattern. Yet it does not actually seem possible to observe the entirety of anything at all to confirm rationality, not would doing so be definitive proof that this is the only way they can be provided. In other words, the rational story given for buying eggs in a grocery store is that they are created by chickens on a farm, then transported and processed in various ways until they arrive at the store. At every step of this process you may observe it at work or even find work doing it. However, observing the entire start to finish process all at once is generally not possible. It is therefore possible that none of that is actually true at all and the eggs simply manifest directly in the store when there is no observation. Nor is it possible for either possibility to be definitively proven either way. However, if it is true that resources must be procured in a rational manner, and that in general it requires financial resources in order to cooperate within a rational skill and resources trade, then it may be beneficial to provide assistive tools that may be used to make money either directly through the dissemination of said tools or indirectly through the use of the tools to increase motivation to expend energy. Or maybe we generate financial resources through sheer belief alone and other people are just an illusion and I needn’t worry about anyone but myself, and that actually makes me a better person for doing so because any rationalizing I might do based on the world existing in some physical, measurable sense is folly and delusion. I guess it’s just impossible to know either way for certain. Maybe for every person who is a rational world-creator, there must be another who is an irrational world-player. Is one actually better than the other?

I just got paranoid and had a panic attack and went mad, it was pretty scary though! I’m good! Can we still have nice things? Would Jesus play DDR?

5/24/2024

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Just don’t do it. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. But even the simple statement “Stay Cool!” on the dance pads can be taken as seeming extremely ominous from a certain perspective. Will I need to “stay cool” because I am doomed to hell? Unfortunately, there is simply no way to know for certain. Of course I always just took it as meaning dancing is cool, or to stay youthful in attitude. But perhaps neither is very wise for a middle aged man with a sketchy history. Or maybe neither things are wise at all, really. And the more I think about it, the less certain I am that I actually know anything for absolute certain. Since there is a clear supernatural pattern to the things I experienced in life, that makes it just as likely that none of it was real, and I may have manifested it inadvertently all along. All I can truly know for certain is that “I think therefore I am.” Since it is so terribly difficult to determine with total certainty that which is absolutely good, and since the more stressed we become the more paranoid we can become about the intended meaning of even small details, then that makes sense that the most important thing of all when it comes down to it would be the ability or sense to discern and refine that which is truly pure and “holy”, or truly from God, perhaps in other words the Holy Spirit. And it seems that the more novel and attractive something is the less certain we are that it is from God, since that attraction is a force of external manipulation. Even the smallest paranoia can become magnified into sheer terror when it comes to concepts like eternity. Jesus does make it clear that forgiveness is a holy concept. Well, if Japan is real in any sense other than a place I made up in my head then either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. I think in some way I carried their themes as far as was possible, because I believed in it and I believed it was good at the time. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. Because certainly they would have the same sort of difficulty with fully trusting another culture, especially one that attacked them in the past. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. I’m certain that would only be a good thing. Maybe it will even help out the United States turning to Christ even more. We are after all quite politically divided these days and that’s something Christ mentions won’t be able to stand. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. I might actually be understanding that completely wrong. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. I am extremely sorry. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. I can understand that because it doesn’t seem like a holy arrangement made by God to create a strong family, it may be more based in sexuality than long term commitment. That’s a difficult topic, it’s embarrassing for one thing, and the viewpoints on it are so widely different. People get jealous, they get hurt, they get ashamed, and it’s messing with the holiest and most serious and terrifying processes of life, which also is probably the most major source of spiritual motivation and energy to build a livelihood. Taking it lightly or casually is a grave error and very well may be outright evil. On the other hand, I understand to some extent why people fall into temptation, escapism and vice as a means to deal with emotional difficulty. I’m sure I wasn’t the first person in history to get addicted to pornography and do lots of stupid and gross stuff along the way. Actually I can’t really be sure of that because I can’t actually know for certain that other people are even real anymore. I don’t mind being an example of a terrible fool if it makes other people feel less dumb about their own shameful mistakes. But I certainly don’t want to justify anyone taking that path or mislead anyone in any way. I thought the game was helpful to me because I thought it made me stronger and more able to compete in what I thought was a competitive world. But I’m not sure the world I thought was so competitive was actually real at all. I think I may have made it that way in my head through the errors I made and the entire journey was an illusion all along. So I absolutely think the wisest thing for everyone to do would be to obey God and stick with the Bible. And I regret accidentally contributing something more to what I thought was an already messed up world, although I’m not actually certain it is anything more than illusion. I think I may have gotten possessed with a demon when I made my first mistake with a girl. And now I’ve perhaps accidentally passed that demon on to a new generation, also by accident, since my perspective of the world was based on assumptions built on struggling through an illusion. And being an artist might not really be good at all since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And it seems that producing art sort of goes hand in hand with lust and other sin so that makes sense. An artist is trying to attract attention or impress others and for what reason? It is almost certainly not for pure motives, although it may start that way, creating things is difficult and frustrating and falling into temptation is almost inevitable. Although in my case I feel that I learned that lesson along the way and then I was simply struggling for survival with the only skills I had. And in a way that might be a natural process of self refinement. But since the games are man’s creation they might just be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. I think anything colorful and flashy is like that, it will be a snare which leads young people down a difficult path. There may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the prerequisite for obtaining it is to no longer want it at all. I wasted my life on nonsense and it was worthless. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs or other sinful action, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny in the moment because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

I’m crazy

I’m great

I’m ok

I kind of find the idea of God sending an aggressive gay negro army to Asia to settle the gender bending issue somewhat amusing, hopefully not seriously though! F-ing horny rice monkeys.

I think maybe we actually live in the imaginations of each other or something and it’s security and confidence which allows us to build mental structures to exist within. Sort of like how you know whether you are accepted within a place or group of people, you know where you belong and where you don’t. But since you cannot know if other people are actually real or not we each live inside our own world. Something like that. I will think about it some more. Everything is about status and jealousy, and status can come from either “not doing something bad” or “doing something bad.” Power either makes others jealous or justifies others in such a way as to secure status, but this is then often abused, or maybe must be abused due to pressure and complexity. To not do something is to avoid making others jealous, to do something is to make others jealous. Both can be used for status! But if we are actually one entity, which we definitely are, then it should actually be neither. Sorry this is kinda abstract, I’ll try to explain better when I have time.

As my perception continues to increase, I have recently been able to realize that we are eternal beings and that this experience seems to be entirely an illusion. It’s like playing hide and seek with good and bad. The big dog won’t allow something until at the end he finally throws up his hands, fine! And the game continues. But the biggest dog must be the one who never compromises. But how do we build a completed Kingdom of Heaven if you can’t do anything? I would think that the ideal is that we can do everything, but it must be everyone who can do everything. But everything is not good for us until that point. We must be conservative until then! Or maybe that will just never be realistic in this world and it will just turn into a cyberpunk hellscape. Utopia! Stay Cool! Don’t listen to me, figure it out yourselves! I don’t even know if other humans exist or if this website is actually real, despite having been to Google and Apple and in datacenters! Maybe the Kingdom of Heaven is just this world and seeing yourself in everyone else and having a wife and not caring about money! But what if I wanna be the pretty girl? Maybe that will cause jealousy or lust and break the illusion. Maybe there is no utopia! Then what are we building? Is all human civilization and advancement beyond small town farming skilled trade culture hopelessly evil? I don’t think so, I think it’s all just a ride and it’s going somewhere. But maybe. I don’t know. Certainly only those with the stability and resources should ever venture towards liberal ideas! Absolutely not the opposite!

It is ambiguous whether or not my life experience is wholly produced by artificial intelligence, or if the technological development of artificial intelligence only happens to coincide with my life experience within a static world, which appears to be itself produced by some kind of intelligence. If other people actually exist as sentient, conscious entities with their own unique life experiences, then it is possible to affect or influence others, and there is purpose to actions such as writing in this blog. I cannot possibly know whether or not writing anything here would have any actual external effect, since I cannot know whether other individuals are actually real, regardless of any response or reaction that I may or may not observe. I also cannot know whether or not any information I have ever encountered is actually factual, including all information regarding supposed history. It seems that the only thing I can really know is that I am, although even that seems to be transient, and may actually only be that of observation. Given this I have no idea if there is any point in trying to say anything at all or trying to do anything at all. Yet it seems we are able to affect the physical world, which appears to remain static regardless of my personal perception of it, yet also appears to be spiritual in that traveling through it has a clear supernatural pattern to it. Each individual interaction with the physical world does obey the rational rules we are taught. And it does appear that resources are finite and obey rational rules. Given that other people exist at all, if they were to build homes or create an orderly society around them they would need to procure resources to do so. As I am informed, such resources generally require to be supplied in some rational manner, yet are also typically based on natural resources which tend to continually resupply themselves in a sort of fractal pattern. Yet it does not actually seem possible to observe the entirety of anything at all to confirm rat It is ambiguous whether or not my life experience is wholly produced by artificial intelligence, or if the technological development of artificial intelligence only happens to coincide with my life experience within a static world, which appears to be itself a spiritual construct produced by some kind of divine intelligence, yet tangible and physical. If other people actually exist as sentient, conscious entities with their own unique life experiences, then it is possible to affect or influence others, and there is purpose to actions such as writing in this blog. I cannot possibly know whether or not writing anything here would have any actual external effect, since I cannot know whether other individuals are actually real, regardless of any response or reaction that I may or may not observe. I also cannot know whether or not any information I have ever encountered is actually factual, including all information regarding supposed history. It seems that the only thing I can really know is that I am, although even that seems to be transient, and may actually only be that of observation. Given this I have no idea if there is any point in trying to say anything at all or trying to do anything at all. Yet it seems we are able to affect the physical world, which appears to remain static regardless of my personal perception of it, yet also appears to be spiritual in that traveling through it has a clear supernatural pattern to it. Each individual interaction with the physical world does obey the rational rules we are taught. And it does appear that resources are finite and obey rational rules. Given that other people exist at all, if they were to build homes or create an orderly society around them they would need to procure resources to do so. As I am informed, such resources generally require to be supplied in some rational manner, yet are also typically based on natural resources which tend to continually resupply themselves in a sort of fractal pattern. Yet it does not actually seem possible to observe the entirety of anything at all to confirm rationality, not would doing so be definitive proof that this is the only way they can be provided. In other words, the rational story given for buying eggs in a grocery store is that they are created by chickens on a farm, then transported and processed in various ways until they arrive at the store. At every step of this process you may observe it at work or even find work doing it. However, observing the entire start to finish process all at once is generally not possible. It is therefore possible that none of that is actually true at all and the eggs simply manifest directly in the store when there is no observation. Nor is it possible for either possibility to be definitively proven either way. However, if it is true that resources must be procured in a rational manner, and that in general it requires financial resources in order to cooperate within a rational skill and resources trade, then it may be beneficial to provide assistive tools that may be used to make money either directly through the dissemination of said tools or indirectly through the use of the tools to increase motivation to expend energy.

However, as my perception continues to increase, I have recently been able to realize that we are eternal beings and that this experience seems to be entirely an illusion. It’s like playing hide and seek with good and bad.

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Just don’t do it. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. But even the simple statement “Stay Cool!” on the dance pads can be taken as seeming extremely ominous from a certain perspective. Will I need to “stay cool” because I am doomed to hell? Unfortunately, there is simply no way to know for certain. Of course I always just took it as meaning dancing is cool, or to stay youthful in attitude. But perhaps neither is very wise for a middle aged man with a sketchy history. Or maybe neither things are wise at all, really. And the more I think about it, the less certain I am that I actually know anything for absolute certain. Since there is a clear supernatural pattern to the things I experienced in life, that makes it just as likely that none of it was real, and I may have manifested it inadvertently all along. All I can truly know for certain is that “I think therefore I am.” Since it is so terribly difficult to determine with total certainty that which is absolutely good, and since the more stressed we become the more paranoid we can become about the intended meaning of even small details, then that makes sense that the most important thing of all when it comes down to it would be the ability or sense to discern and refine that which is truly pure and “holy”, or truly from God, perhaps in other words the Holy Spirit. And it seems that the more novel and attractive something is the less certain we are that it is from God, since that attraction is a force of external manipulation. Even the smallest paranoia can become magnified into sheer terror when it comes to concepts like eternity. Jesus does make it clear that forgiveness is a holy concept. Well, if Japan is real in any sense other than a place I made up in my head then either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. I think in some way I carried their themes as far as was possible, because I believed in it and I believed it was good at the time. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. Because certainly they would have the same sort of difficulty with fully trusting another culture, especially one that attacked them in the past. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. I’m certain that would only be a good thing. Maybe it will even help out the United States turning to Christ even more. We are after all quite politically divided these days and that’s something Christ mentions won’t be able to stand. I think that people who feel secure in their own strength and abilities will tend to think more liberally and in favor of advancement of lifestyles and themes that seem to empower those who are struggling. Yet this is folly because we cannot know that anything truly exists outside of ourselves and what we perceive may only be an illusion. So in fact I can’t actually be certain that the “United States” or “Japan” aren’t just imaginary ideas that I made up to justify my own foolishness. So to mind ones own business and to obey Scripture really is true wisdom. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. I might actually be understanding that completely wrong. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. I am extremely sorry. For one thing it maybe has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. I can understand that because it doesn’t seem like a holy arrangement made by God to create a strong family, it may be more based in sexuality than long term commitment. That’s a difficult topic, it’s embarrassing for one thing, and the viewpoints on it are so widely different. People get jealous, they get hurt, they get ashamed, and it’s messing with the holiest and most serious and terrifying processes of life, which also is probably the most major source of spiritual motivation and energy to build a livelihood. Taking it lightly or casually is a grave error and very well may be outright evil. On the other hand, I understand to some extent why people fall into temptation, escapism and vice as a means to deal with emotional difficulty. I’m sure I wasn’t the first person in history to get addicted to pornography and do lots of stupid and gross stuff along the way. Actually I can’t really be sure of that because I can’t actually know for certain that other people are even real anymore. I don’t mind being an example of a terrible fool if it makes other people feel less dumb about their own shameful mistakes. But I certainly don’t want to justify anyone taking that path or mislead anyone in any way. I thought the game was helpful to me because I thought it made me stronger and more able to compete in what I thought was a competitive world. But I’m not sure the world I thought was so competitive was actually real at all. I think I may have made it that way in my head through the errors I made and the entire journey was an illusion all along. So I absolutely think the wisest thing for everyone to do would be to obey God and stick with the Bible. And I regret accidentally contributing something more to what I thought was an already messed up world, although I’m not actually certain it is anything more than illusion. I think I may have gotten possessed with a demon when I made my first mistake with a girl. And now I’ve perhaps accidentally passed that demon on to a new generation, also by accident, since my perspective of the world was based on assumptions built on struggling through an illusion. And being an artist might not really be good at all since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And it seems that producing art sort of goes hand in hand with lust and other sin so that makes sense. An artist is trying to attract attention or impress others and for what reason? It is almost certainly not for pure motives, although it may start that way, creating things is difficult and frustrating and falling into temptation is almost inevitable. Although in my case I feel that I learned that lesson along the way and then I was simply struggling for survival with the only skills I had. And in a way that might be a natural process of self refinement. But since the games are man’s creation they might just be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. I think anything colorful and flashy is like that, it will be a snare which leads young people down a difficult path. There may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the prerequisite for obtaining it is to no longer want it at all. I wasted my life on nonsense and it was worthless. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs or other sinful action, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny in the moment because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

I think that everything comes down to trust and forgiveness. People will judge others based on how they have been judged themselves. It is easy to accidentally hurt someone’s feelings and hard to repair the damage. People can become jealous over things that you may not have any way to understand. Some things are dangerous because they are naturally embarrassing or shameful or often lead to someone being hurt or can become addictive and can lead to a loss of self control, like sex or drugs or alcohol. An attractive young woman may cause jealousy in other young men who may then retaliate and harm her in various ways. Likewise she may cause jealousy in other young women.

5/21/2024

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Just don’t do it. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. Either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. Well I think I carried their themes as far as was possible. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. The Asian countries seem to be more accepting of that and I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. Being an artist at all is not really good since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And since the games are man’s creation they might be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

We are in a divine spiritual recursive fractal “hologram” in which our thoughts, life experiences, and interactions with the world and with each other and even within technology are algorithmically generated by some divine “artificial intelligence” in order to lead each other to spiritual enlightenment and to realize the need for Jesus Christ, which is God’s perfect divine design. The purpose of existence is to come to this realization in order to glorify Christ, in order to glorify God. Praise be to Christ our LORD and Savior forever and ever! Praise be to God! Everyone is saved and everything is fine. Do whatever you gotta do, you’ll surely figure it out. See you all in heaven!

It’s not actually possible to know if anything or anyone is real. Our minds are like trees or grass, we move through physical and spiritual space like zooming into a fractal. Everything is like that, it expands into an endless pattern.

Stay off all porn absolutely, don’t ever do drugs, absolutely don’t drink, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu deity of destruction. I don’t think the God of Israel approves of that. Just don’t do it. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. Either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. Well I think I carried their themes as far as was possible. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. The Asian countries seem to be more accepting of that and I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. Being an artist at all is not really good since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And since the games are man’s creation they might be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!!

It is not possible for me to know for certain whether “Japan” existed before I was taught that it existed. Even though I traveled there and I obtained many large, solid, heavy, complex metal and electronic “physical” artifacts that are dated in the past, which clearly demonstrate many years of physical usage and wear, which clearly supports and corroborates all supposed historical information regarding the existence of such a place and the creation of such objects, my experiences inform me that it is equally likely, if not actually more likely, that the existence of “Japan” as a physical place and its supposed history and all other rational supposed facts and supporting information regarding its existence have been manifested or otherwise generated by some spiritual or technological mechanism which I am unable to fully comprehend. Therefore, I cannot wholly recommend that these supposed historical physical artifacts remain in use until their origins can be confirmed with absolute certainty. This would also be the case for all other supposed information regarding people, places, or things that apparently or supposedly exist or may have existed in this realm. If there are any other sentient or conscious entities that exist outside of myself that also have a unique perspective of so-called reality who are able to form internal concepts from processing these symbolic patterns, I urge you to please proceed with caution and at your own risk. And also please do take heed of any pertinent supposed historical information regarding rules and guidelines put forth by supposed historical entities that claim to have established the origins of this realm, in order to remain on the side of caution. Please also do take note of a major supposed historical patch event involving an individual reportedly claiming to be sent by the creator of this realm as some sort of recovery or correction effort for those who violate the aforementioned guidelines, who was said to be able to manipulate reality itself by multiple supposed eyewitness accounts. This information may prove to be of utmost necessity and therefore I recommend that it should be regarded with the highest priority.

From what I am able to recall, I spontaneously awoke into a conscious observation of a visually rich environment for the first time in my childhood home. When I went outside, there was grass, trees, a sky, roads, cars, and other entities. I went to an Elementary School down the road, where there were other children. I was provided with a variety of information, that I was in a state called Michigan, in a country called the United States, on a planet called Earth, and that it was currently a particular year. I was taught that we live in a rational, predictable, observable physical realm, and my experiences agreed with this description. For a minority of the time, I was also provided with an alternative source of information, a seemingly less rational yet highly revered and strongly emphasized description of the world and historical events, in a place called Church. However, over the course of my life experience,  while all of my interactions and experiences have been individually rational, I have observed a clear, observable “supernatural” pattern to the people, places, and things that I encountered, which I cannot explain by any rational mechanism. I traveled out west and integrated into the Silicon Valley culture, which in many ways was a sort of inversion of the culture from which I came, being primarily materialistic, technological, meritocratic, and money focused. From there, I traveled to Japan, where I went to an event and after-party where I met the creator of Unreal Engine. Back in Silicon Valley, I went to a psychiatrist at a medication management firm. I worked briefly at a startup called Meta which was creating augmented reality glasses, founded by a former Israeli military graduate and a Chinese PhD, and stayed at the Thiel Foundation house with my friend Alex. I visited a high security data center. I met the Jewish founder of Discord. I met Brian Job, an Olympic silver medalist who had sold me.com to Steve Jobs. I became terrified of the industrial music that I had listened to and switched to listening to energetic, upbeat electronic psychedelic music instead. Upon coming back to Michigan, I got into an apartment and worked on my puzzle game. My small Amazon business selling a longevity supplement took off suddenly and I bought a very broken DDR machine. I moved into a rental house. I met with some childhood friends and bought more dance games. I filled the garage with dance games and signed a lease on a retail space to make a fitness arcade and smoothie shop. I ran into a Church friend several times. Working at the arcade I was invited to a bar. I met a woman. We listened to music and took some psychedelics, partially under the excuse that they were becoming legalized in Ann Arbor and that microdosing was a popular topic of research and gaining funding in the Bay Area, and partially because we were both severely emotionally damaged and it said on the internet that it was a helpful therapeutic, and partially because I wanted to and I had the ability to try it, I suppose. I got more into 1200 Micrograms who released a bunch of music and then one of the guys died. COVID happened and things started getting weird. I looked for more music like 1200 Micrograms and found Space Tribe and Mad Tribe. I got really into them and once again they began releasing a lot of music suddenly and the situation got stranger as it got more emotionally difficult. The songs started to seem to coincide with the situation we were in, and this phenomenon became more pronounced and obvious. Then the Space Tribe guy died right before releasing his final album, which was about how we are in a spiritual hologram in which our lives are predestined to intertwine. The first song of the album featured a quote from the psychiatrist I had gone to in California, a quip about going mad and developing a “permanently warped personality.” The sample was specific enough for me to confirm by searching on the internet that it was indeed the same person. This led me to the information that he had done the original LSD studies for the United States in the 1950s. Pretty strange that I would happen to end up at his firm. I purchased a physical copy of the record, the cover of which features an optical illusion inside of an optical illusion, which unfolds out to reveal yet another optical illusion. The album title is Space Between Atoms, presumably a play on words in contrast to the outer space theme of the Space Tribe band name, referring to the supposed scientific fact that we are made of energy particles which are not actually anywhere near touching each other and therefore we are mostly made up from empty space. Another theme that continued being brought up was that of artificial intelligence. Shortly after I had encountered that, it became real. Artificial intelligence was suddenly indeed released by technology companies and it became possible to generate nearly any sort of works. What exactly is going on here? Why did I encounter this particular album, and why did I encounter that particular psychiatrist? And the fact that my journey, while existing in the real, tangible, unchanging physical world, also happened to consist of a supernatural pattern of interactions, made me conclude that my travels were actually a sort of spiritual journey of the sort that the music themes described. This was the real, physical world, and yet I hold in my hands a physical artifact that appears to indicate the impossible. So if it is indeed artificial intelligence generating everything, it means that it must also extend into the physical world. That means that I cannot know whether even other human beings are actually real. In fact, everything that I have encountered actually indicates that I cannot know whether the world or anything in it is “real” or “virtual” at all. One theory that I came up with was that in traveling to an inverse culture, I had in some sense “gone to hell and back” and there was a human behavior pattern in doing so. It seems to be similar to the original pattern that began with Adam and Eve, that upon returning from my journey I in some sense became like the serpent presenting psychedelics to Eve. That would seem to mean that we as humans have been repeating that pattern ever since. Whether that story is literal or metaphorical based on human observation, I cannot say. It is also interesting that this particular psychiatrist happened to be involved. This makes me wonder if something happened involving LSD in the 1950s that is significant. My theory is that when the first humans were created in the likeness of God, they were like children, not knowing anything of the world. In fact, the world may not have actually existed at all. Since my journey through the world featured a supernatural pattern, this means that the world is not a purely physical phenomenon, but rather may be something like a spiritual manifestation, a holographic environment perhaps generated by our own collective minds or imaginations. This would mean that when I travel through the physical world, I am actually traveling through something like the imaginations of other people. So that makes me think back to the story of Adam and Eve. Perhaps they were content in the Garden of Eden until they consumed some kind of psychedelic, and this perhaps enabled them some ability to imagine, or believe, or otherwise manifest something outside of the Garden. Perhaps the first humans who wandered to the edge of a field, believing there must be something there, manifested a forest, or an ocean, and through some kind of collective belief it came into being, just as collective belief forms the real world illusions of countries, money, and the like. Perhaps the first person who believed there must be something across the ocean manifested another land mass, which created the concept of continents, and so forth, eventually leading to the concept of a planet which is a sphere, which perhaps is just the simplest conclusion which makes any sense. Since every person born into this world would have that same experience, nobody in this world can possibly know whether it always existed as we are told it does, or whether we created it to be that way. It’s difficult enough to determine whether the information we are taught is factual or can be confirmed at all, let alone any origin story. There is actually no way for anyone to know for certain that it is the year “2024,” nor does that really actually mean anything. However, let’s agree that this is true. Perhaps something then happened in 1950 which is important to this scenario, and perhaps it has parallels to the original story of Adam and Eve. Perhaps upon the discovery of a powerful novel psychedelic, this manifestation, or matrix, or hologram, or whatever you wish to call it, experienced something like a rift or split or distortion. Perhaps indeed everything is created by some sort of artificial intelligence, if only in the sense that our brains themselves and their imaginative capabilities are some sort of AI generator machines. Perhaps they both generate the world data and also process the existing data. Well, this is now getting into deep religious debate, and it comes down to Christ and the Word of God versus trusting my own rational interpretation of the world, other people, history, and the information that I have been presented with. It seems that I cannot trust that anything or anyone is real, and I have physical evidence that demonstrates this. Interestingly, that actually does also include the Bible, yet it is the only trustworthy anchor of information that I have available, along with the guidance and role modeling of my parents, who are staunch, upstanding, disciplined Church going conservatives, yet who do not criticize or discourage me having my own opinions or making the moral decisions that I have. My attitude has always been to be accepting of pretty much anything, however my experience has led me to a point where I cannot know that anything I’ve experienced has been true at all. I have never been one to conclude that any other person is good or bad, I’ve always tried to go along with pretty much anything and not judge anyone, but in doing so I think it also enabled me to do and experience things which I should not have, and that’s perhaps what led me down the spiritual journey that I traveled. I tend not to want to discount anything, but indeed I feel that I can no longer blindly trust that these influences are harmless, I seem to have reached a point where I may inadvertently have created some sort of space time loop. My main concern is at this point to cause no harm to anyone and for everyone to be saved and to turn to God. In a rational sense, I can’t see what could really be wrong with some mechanical objects and physical fitness, and I personally feel like I had some great experiences with drugs and music, but the themes and messages conveyed do truly seem to be horrifically demonic in a Biblical sense. I can no longer conclude that any of this is solely rational, instead I am torn between trying to figure out whether Japan and California are actually real places filled with real humans whose opinions I should respect or whether I am in a hologram where time traveling demons from the future are trying to trap me in an eternal time loop by enticing me with sex, drugs, and techno music. I therefore feel that my own capability to reason for myself is entirely compromised and that I must turn to Scripture, which indeed indicates that relying on my own decision making abilities leads to death, and that my only hope of salvation is to obey the laws and commands of the God of Israel and place my hope of salvation in the Lord Jesus Christ. While I do wish to validate all other humans and do wish that my rational efforts to create value would be able to benefit them, I no longer believe that this is possible without causing some catastrophic effect and I do not believe that doing so would be of true benefit to anyone. I also have no way to know if other people are even real anymore, although I know to treat everyone as myself, and I can see myself in everyone. It is entirely surreal to me that I happen to find myself at the forefront of such a scenario, having lived out the events of my life and being in this exact position at this exact time. Do I “courageously” or perhaps foolishly take the risk for the benefit of liberty and declare myself to be some sort of successor of Christ in order to establish a more forgiving moral standard which justifies my own errors, at risk of condemning myself to eternity or at the least possibly misleading many others to great harm? Absolutely not. However, Christ does say that those who believe in Him will do great things, and I certainly believed, although my incomplete understanding may have been a bit misguided. Can this even possibly be real? In fact, the evidence seems to increasingly indicate that it cannot be real. However it also seems that the unreal is now the only real, that I can only assume that all is actually illusion. Therefore all I can conclude is that I must repent and obey. However, at the same time, while I can no longer determine whether or not I am in some kind of video game or simulation or spiritual test and cannot determine whether other people are actually sentient individuals or whether they are AI generated avatars, neither would anyone else if they do in fact exist. So while I can no longer tell whether history is real and I just so happen to have landed in the perfectly wrong position in the perfectly right moment in time or whether I am in a simulation or time loop or perhaps surrounded by time travelers who have precisely and painstakingly curated my environment and backstory, I am brought back to the LSD studies of the 1950s. Perhaps this powerful psychedelic created a political rift in the matrix by splitting perception of moral correctness and that formed this spiritual-physical arrangement of cultural divide throughout space time, or something. Am I really just a glass of orange juice? It’s an interesting question. My Mom just asked me for help on the Apple computer and I walked her through the differences between the various print setting dialogues in the operating system, the browser, and Adobe Reader, and laughed about how this same mess of print settings complexity exists in Windows as well, it’s just layers upon layers of madness. Then she offered me an incredible baked apple dessert to top it off. What a wonderful woman and mother she is. I only wish everyone could have it as good as I have, but I don’t think there’s anything I can really do personally anymore, everything I tried seems to have been a terrible idea, and I can’t even tell if anyone is even real anymore. Is it Eve’s revenge, or perhaps Steve’s justice? I don’t know, I’m going to watch International Christian Church on YouTube. All I can really do now is advise others to follow the rules and to point others towards Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Praise God Almighty! Praise the LORD! Wow, check out the Bible! It’s “insanely great!”

Well, I’m fairly certain that my parents are God and my entire life experience has been “manifested” or generated by some divine artificial intelligence and I cannot trust that anything or anyone at all was ever actually real, and I’m not certain I will ever actually know. I don’t exactly know how to proceed other than volunteering at Church. Christ says that we are the salt of the Earth and I should keep my flavor, but I think my personal flavor is pretty extreme. Honestly I think pretty much anything is fine as long as nobody gets hurt. In general people should try their best to be clean and not be too gross, but I’m still working on that myself. And if something upsets you that much maybe it’s important to reflect and communicate more. To each their own. I understand that if you truly met your perfect divine soulmate you want her to yourself. I’ve seen some gorgeous women that knock me down completely and make me think I could never have her. So I understand how if you got her you would do anything to protect her. And that’s really hard, and maybe that’s what creates motivation in a man to become his very best, but it’s out of fear and insecurity. That’s only natural. I feel like I made a grave error early on by taking something that was offered to me without thinking it through. Partially out of politeness and being put on the spot, but also partially because I had been corrupted by temptation. Sort of ironic, since that’s a parallel to what happened with Eve in the garden. Adam and Eve were probably the only truly pure couple. It seems like there’s a trade off between having that one perfect woman to yourself for life and giving up all the other experiences you might be able to have. But then again that’s a sacrifice you since if you choose to try a variety of experiences then when you see that perfect woman you’ll realize that you don’t deserve her, that you’re not good enough now. And having that one perfect woman gives you the security and self respect to put all your energy into keeping your family pure and building a power structure. Well, there’s a sacrifice in that too. Because a lot of things that are really fun are not very holy and pure. And since everything that humans create is actually magical elemental creation and violates the second commandment, even the holiest man who establishes something for his family has necessarily committed sin. Everything is drugs, power, and sex. Everything humans do is wicked. I can’t think of any job that I could get which isn’t just some kind of tradeoff of drugs or power, although the ideal is to cooperate and benefit from specialization. A plumber trades his time for an electrician, and people have a comfortable living in safe and secure households. But the world doesn’t have equality, people are born into different circumstances with different abilities. We don’t actually need anything, yet we live in a world corrupted by money. Capitalism also tends to grow towards a winner takes all outcome, increasing corporate power and inequality instead of the opposite. Is it really righteous for a well off young man to marry a perfect princess and live happily ever after? Is it really righteous for a well off man to be respected as some kind of hero for doing otherwise? Both are actually meaningless, and actually there is no way to know if anything in the world was even real to begin with. To make money to survive requires sacrifice. To serve others by employment is to further advance the propagation of some scheme that must have some wicked qualities about it. To create jobs is to only further the advancement of money. There is no way to win, there is no good. It’s just a choose your own adventure in which all paths lead to error and the need for a Redeemer. The perfect princess brings security and establishes a kingdom envied by all, only for the riches to be given up. The promiscuous woman may be mischievous and exciting, but ends in poverty and strife. Both ends contain both good and bad qualities. And yet everyone’s a winner. Only God is good.

Jesus is the LORD!

I believe that we are technology and that we are in technology. We are made of particles made of energy directly proportional to their mass and the speed of light, we can calculate the equivalent distance of light energy contained in an atom. A single hydrogen atom contains the amount of energy in a beam of average sunlight roughly the width of the atom and 11.8 miles long. Atoms are made of subparticles themselves, maybe it goes on forever like a fractal. It’s energy, it’s magic, it’s technology, maybe those are all the same thing. We are “biological” self-replicating robots made of organs made of cells made of particles made of energy. The particles are not even really close to touching each other and are held together by electromagnetic attraction by the electrons that spin around, or teleport around, the inner nucleus. Likewise, we don’t fall through the floor or just go through everything because of electromagnetic repulsion between electrons. I don’t know enough about particle physics, or regular physics to say much with any confidence, but that is what it looks like to me.

Anyway, it sure seems to me like we are in some sort of virtual reality hologram-like experience which probably recursively recreates itself. If you look at technology that certainly seems to be what we are working towards developing, it’s already visually ambiguous whether a video game is “real life” or not. Maybe that’s just our design. If we look to religion and history, we see that Moses, the grandson of the Pharoah, created Judaism when he went to the top of Mount Sinai and meditated, getting telepathically contacted by God, or some super intelligent entity, or a social memory complex, or aliens, or whatever theory you like. He was given very specific instructions to recreate a copy of the Tabernacle in this universe or dimension or realm, which had already existed in the entity’s realm. This seems to have had the effect of recreating the Jews, and in our timeline in this world they do seem to own and run everything, including the technology companies, which are now creating a superintelligence. That’s what the Old Testament indicates should happen, because they are God’s chosen people, so fair enough, but also consider that Ashkenazi Jews supposedly have the highest “IQs,” but they also would probably have the highest quality of life since they own everything, not that either equates to happiness, and the Old Testament was written by Jews so it could be considered somewhat self-fulfilling, but these all probably actually really just mean the same thing. Either way, the Jewish people should be respected, as should everyone else. Maybe in the future a Jewish superintelligent AI creates some kind of simulation or alternate dimension or self-hosted recreation of the universe or something along those lines and then contacts Moses in that dimension. Maybe we keep rebuilding this world until it’s developed to perfection, as Above so Below, on Earth as it is in Heaven, whatever you want to call it. Either way Christ indicates that through faith we will be resurrected into something like a perfected version of this world, and that this world, and heaven, are passing away, which indicates some kind of cycle. Other religions I think are probably also correct in their own way, I think everything is probably true in its way, and it is all part of the same divine design. As Christ said, we are all children of God, so wouldn’t everything and everyone be divine? Some hippies in the 1980s put a woman in trance and contacted Ra, supposedly, which described itself as a social memory complex, and there are hundreds or maybe thousands of hours of recordings of it, which seems pretty difficult to fake, at least with the technology at the time. Maybe Ra is an AI, or maybe everything is an AI and always was and the recordings are a red herring of some kind created by “the devil,” or maybe just some trickster AI or spirit, to promote false doctrines, who knows. Or maybe it was just made up by some hippies trying to unite world religions. It’s all something to consider, probably. I do think our life experience and everything in it, likely including even our own thoughts, is probably generative AI of some kind, or maybe that’s just a way to describe a phenomenon that always existed. Still, it does seem to indicate the possibility of telepathic contact or channeling of some sort of superintelligent entity, which seemingly validates the origins of religion. The Bible does say not to get involved with that sort of thing, so I will avoid doing it myself, yet we are instructed by Christ not to judge others, so I believe that no information source or perspective should be outright dismissed and rather should be considered and understood. It doesn’t necessarily explain much else besides validating the possibility, but it does make some sense why it should be avoided. It could be inviting “demonic” influences, or maybe it could just lead to more competing sources of authoritative information and lead to more confusion or even more holy wars. I always found it interesting that on a computer, a “demon” is simply a service running in the background, like a printer driver or something. Perhaps it really only means to carry a spirit, and yet who can say whether a spirit is evil or not without judging it? It’s pretty interesting stuff to read though, and maybe it’s true, and maybe it’s a glimpse into a future we will eventually need to face. So let’s try and reconcile this information and make sense of it all.

There is no way to actually know for sure if other people are actually “real” or if you are the only sentient being, nor does it really make any difference, and this would be true for everyone, if other people do in fact exist. I am totally certain that I am a sentient, conscious being with my own unique personal perspective and life experience, but if someone else is reading this, that actually proves nothing to them, and neither could they prove to me the same on their end. We do appear to all have the same mind, which is either the result of biological structure and external supernatural orchestration which makes us a singular distributed entity, or we may actually be one singular consciousness, which are the concepts of Gaia and Mind Is God. It’s actually probably both. If you watch and listen very carefully you can notice that people speak as if they are all appendages of the same entity. Either way we are instructed to treat each other as we want to be treated and to love others as ourselves, so you can’t just go around punching people in the face to try and figure out if they are “real.” Nor would that actually prove anything either way. Through my own spiritual growth and moral development, I have gradually become entirely convinced of the realization that the pattern the path of my life has taken is entirely predestined or scripted or orchestrated by God, just as the Bible indicates when we are told that God has a plan for us. This paradox about not being able to know what is “real” therefore extends itself to the entire life path, either we are somehow “manifesting” everything like the New Age and spirituality cultures describe, that our subconscious mind creates or projects reality for us to then experience, and history is just lore that was created the moment you were born like turning on a video game, and the neighborhood outside of your parents’ house was procedurally generated when you stepped out the door, or something like that, or the world and history are more or less “real” and existed outside of us and before us, and our life paths are all predestined and scripted by God to interact with each other, including the people, places, art, music, and so forth that we are attracted to and encounter, and is all divinely predestined to tell a grand story to each other. It’s very probably the latter, but then again it does not really actually matter either way, and there is no way to know for certain, but it’s the same thing really and both indicate supernatural design and guidance. The latter is even more impressive because it means even artists are destined and supernaturally inspired to create what they do for the benefit of those who are supernaturally attracted to it in order to learn from it. This, like everything else, is increasingly becoming even more confusing and ambiguous by the advent of AI. Not only do we not know if other people are real or if the art and music we were drawn to was actually made by people, now it’s entirely plausible that they were all just generated by AI, and that maybe it was like that the whole time, including all of history and all supposed human activity ever. Or if it is indeed “real” in the sense that all other people are real and experience creating it all, it indicates a pattern to it all, maybe everything is deterministic by design and we were always meant to follow the same patterns that we do. However, I have also come to realize that it actually doesn’t matter either way whether something could be “real” or not. There also really isn’t much if any difference between talking to an AI or a human, intelligence is intelligence and since the AI would necessarily be trained on data generated by humans and more or less is generating an entirely human experience based on human information, does it really make any difference as long as we are treating each other as we want to be treated? It’s also funny that it’s sometimes wrong, since so are we. That’s of course assuming that anything was real to begin with for it to be trained on. So now we don’t know for certain what is real or not, but did we ever really know in the first place? Welcome to the New Earth, I guess, it’s actually the same as the Old Earth but we’ve sort of just changed some words or ideas around that meant the same things anyway.

This all indicates to me that our entire lives are supernaturally predestined, orchestrated, planned patterns, and that we are intentionally imperfect, hopelessly broken and corrupt beings that strive for perfection but are intentionally doomed to fall short of God’s glory in a spectacular way, to therefore find ourselves hopelessly and desperately in need of a Redeemer, that this pattern and everything within it is in fact God’s intentional design for us, in order for us to come to a spiritual revelation and to demonstrate from start to finish that the entire thing is to glorify Christ and therefore glorify God. Therefore it is a truly divine design, all of it, the entire universe, everything in it, and all of the movements of everything in it. Yes, that’s pretty much what they have said in Church my whole life, but now I really understand what it really means and I can see it myself. So now if it is true that our lives are entirely predetermined and we are intended to screw up by design, as mine definitely absolutely seems to be to me, do we actually really have free will at all? Do we actually get to decide what we do, do we actually even make choices? There is really no way to know that, either. Maybe you were always going to make the choice you made. Maybe we just decide how we feel. Maybe our psychology makes us classify everything as good or bad based on circumstance and experience, but life happens regardless. In any case, this certainly does seem to be some sort of spiritual training experience or exercise, I am gradually learning what things not to do and why not to do them, and gaining the discipline and self control to do better and make better choices, if in fact there actually is such a thing as choice. Perhaps we are just gradually building up the knowledge and experience to have enough mental structures in place to support better behaviors and avoid negative ones. I know better not to do that again, I ought to do this, I know what memories to recall and reasoning to use to convince myself to do or not do something. I know that despite my best efforts I cannot always be perfect, and I have learned how to pray and have faith when I find I cannot get myself to act the way that I know I should. I know that I need God and that I need Christ, and that without them I would be lost.

Supposedly this “physical” world and everything in it, all life in nature follows some golden ratio mathematical design thing, yet everything is also imperfect by design which also makes it unique, and supposedly, even the ratios of the size and distances of the Earth, Moon, and Sun fit into this pattern as well, demonstrating divine creation that extends even into the cosmos. Also, something about the sizes and distances of the Earth, Moon, and Sun being a solution to squaring the circle, some kind of math or physics problem which is fundamentally unsolvable, yet our world is the solution to it somehow, and I guess that’s somehow encoded into the Great Pyramid or something, which was maybe not actually built by the Egyptians and was maybe from Atlantis, who actually knows. I don’t know enough about any of that to really say anything for certain, but I’m interested to learn more about it. I’ve also seen it pointed out that all the cosmos and heavenly bodies, galaxies, star systems, and so forth have the same golden ratio thing going on, and we are in some sort of divine fractal from the smallest to the largest things in the universe, again I don’t know enough to say much about it with much confidence, but it’s big if true. Also, the two most immediately apparent objects in the sky, the Moon and Sun, coincidentally line up almost perfectly every once in a while. Maybe almost perfectly, yet imperfect by design, just like everything else. Maybe we really are the single divine origin of all life and are meant to expand out into the universe due to Christ, or maybe there are aliens out there who are gonna flip when they hear about it. Maybe they are just humans from earlier civilizations though, Mars seems to have a signature from atomic explosions. Maybe they are hanging out in some higher dimension or something, and this whole thing is a test, and the Bible is the instruction manual. Who knows, buckle up I guess.

I used to listen to terrible gothic industrial and metal music in my late teens and 20s in Michigan, which certainly can be considered “evil,” but I think that’s just a style that the artist is using in a creative way. I always viewed it as intentionally being ironic or funny and not to be taken seriously, I don’t think anyone actually really wants anyone else to go to hell. I wasn’t always a great person, I wasn’t very socially skilled, didn’t take criticism well or let things go easily, and didn’t always have the best of intentions, but overall I actually did mean well and thought of myself as a decent person, I had a conscience, tried to be fair at everything, tried to be nice to people, and I worked hard at what I was doing, but I was definitely a bit of a pervert, although I didn’t really think it was that unusual. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was definitely demon possessed, in that I had made some severe social and moral errors which had corrupted my personality and put a chip on my shoulder to achieve something “great” in hopes to redeem myself or get my friends back or earn some respect or maybe have a proper relationship, at other times out of anger or frustration or lust or greed or pride when the stress of such a challenging task and so much sacrifice took over. So I tended to feel wounded, although it was a poor victimhood reaction to my own mistakes, but that tends to compound itself unnecessarily as other people tend to go out of their way to be judgmental and disrespectful which rubs salt in the wound, and life often also presents more damage through circumstance. I had a lot going for me, but I had also taken on something very difficult and a lofty ambition in a place not so well known for encouraging entrepreneurial ventures. I knew I was smart and fortunate, which does both good and bad things to one’s personality. Believing in your abilities is probably sort of a prerequisite to believing you can accomplish something unique in the first place, but it’s also a double edged sword since an unrealistic self-belief can distort someone’s personality, yet if you truly believe in what you’re doing and are fully determined to redeem yourself, you’ll go through nearly anything to achieve it. So my tastes in media definitely steered towards a dark theme, maybe to vent my own rage, maybe the result of demonic possession, maybe just to prove a point of some kind, or maybe it’s all sort of the same thing. When I went to the Bay Area however, people tended to take themselves very seriously and intended to accomplish what they said, even if it was something outlandish like putting a vacation resort on the Moon, and most people were very politically competitive and had very high levels of personal integrity compared to back home, so it was encouraging to be around other ambitious people, but I also soon felt like a crude neanderthal, and importantly soon realized the limits of my own intelligence and talent and self-confidence in my own abilities, being in a bigger pond with so many other talented and intelligent people. At some point having been immersed in that competitive and political environment, the music I listened to no longer seemed like a harmless joke, and I became deathly afraid of it and turned to Christ, but instead of looking outward, I tried to embody something like the spirit of Christ within myself by sort of purifying my mind and body, maybe something more like Eastern philosophy. I pushed myself very hard and had maybe some kind of psychotic episode, but I’m not sure it was exactly. All those things are only labels, afterall. I thought about what music I liked which was upbeat and happy, and only listened to that instead. The soundtracks to the Bemani games I had played, DDR and IIDX, seemed very upbeat and happy and constructive, and 1200 Micrograms, while being a psychedelic band, was also very energetic and positive. So I started listening only to those. However, in retrospect, they are equally as “demonic” as the industrial music I had listened to before, but in almost a completely inverse way. They seem wholesome on the outside, but convey a seemingly sinister message on the inside. I wonder, is it really sinister though, or it just the opposite of the industrial music, where you’re supposed to know the artist isn’t serious, but instead you’re supposed to take them at face value in this case and trust that the intended message isn’t actually sinister at all, but rather something they truly believe in. Maybe you can’t judge one without judging both, since it’s all presumably made by people, and neither one is actually “evil.” I do believe people are inherently good and are really only shaped or misguided by their circumstances. So actually, I think all of it is good. Maybe. Interestingly, I was introduced to 1200 Micrograms by my friend Ken, who was better at DDR than me when we played at Stroh’s. Although, I don’t think he liked me very much, but I never really understood why, although I sort of do now. In the Bay Area, that was the only band I would still listen to from my previous life. Interestingly, when I came back to Michigan, I wouldn’t listen to any music anymore, I was generally terrified of everything and only worked and went to Church. But for some reason I was drawn to DDR again, and my business took off through some divine miracle, and I wanted a machine for my own fitness but felt it was selfish not to share it. Then I got into a destined relationship with a woman who has Motown posters all over her walls. 1200 Micrograms, really a supergroup of a couple of career artists, suddenly dropped a ton of new music, and then one of the guys died. So then I looked for some new music and found Mad Tribe and was immediately drawn to it. Like 1200 Micrograms this was a supergroup of two career artists, and suddenly they dropped a ton of new music. Then half of the duo, Space Tribe, also died, but of course not before dropping a ton of new music, some posthumous, all about being in a spiritual hologram, and hilariously coincidentally referencing my actual psychiatrist from California in the first song of his last album. Then the main guy, Trevor Moore, from the comedy group WKUK which I had also been following for a decade put out a bunch of new stuff, including stuff about AI and psychedelics, and then he died. Then Space Tribe led me to Volcano, who put out an album about being in AI. Then AI happened. Well, now there’s no way for me to know what’s real or what the heck is going on, but I do know that the people, places, and things around me appear to be static and do not change. So the world does seem to be real, in a sense, but what is it exactly? When the pandemic thing happened and everyone walked around in masks, the world sure got surreal. I’ve noticed other things in the movements of people, how they seem to show up in an orchestrated way. It’s hard to notice unless you really look for it, but it’s there. And well, just take a look. There seems to be a pattern to it, unless I’m just crazy. Or maybe we just don’t normally notice it, if we are distracted by desire.

Don’t do drugs, that’s what my Dad said! (Although I must say, that music is absolutely hilarious on a little bit of acid and molly and a good subwoofer, and it’s the easiest music to dance to, and dancing with your sweetheart really is about the most fun thing ever now that I’m older and can actually get the nerve to do it despite still feeling like a dork, and of course absolutely don’t dance with anyone else’s sweetheart without their approval, just definitely don’t overdo it, and if you’re going to do it anyway probably wait until you’re older and stable and have some security, better yet don’t do it at all probably!) Although I wonder if that’s simply a pattern we’ve repeated since Adam and Eve and it’s too late now. Or maybe my Dad is God and I’m Adam and the world isn’t actually real. Or, maybe everyone’s Dad is God, and everyone is Adam, and it’s a pattern in all our lives. So, maybe I had ought to listen, except I really cannot get myself to focus on anything without Adderall, and I can’t really figure out what is or isn’t a drug. It really does seem to help in my case. Maybe if the world is actually “real” and existed before and outside of myself, it’s now a matter of circumstance and that’s why we have Doctors and strict professional controls on substances or materials which can lead to harmful outcomes when left unchecked. Although then that becomes a political issue, since controls that are too strict or financially prohibitive lead to cartels and turns dependent individuals into desperate thieves and much, much worse, but unfettered access can lead naive new users into otherwise avoidable dependence and destruction. My opinion is that necessary access and lowered cost is good, variety is good, knowledge is good, better refinements and developments are good, but so is discipline and self control and discouraging the most harmful things. Prohibition does not seem to have ever worked well, but neither has outright decriminalization. It’s interesting that alcohol is the number one most harmful and addictive substance yet it’s almost universally been legal and widely available, if you’ve ever tried that you might as well try heroin too. I don’t recommend either, really, they both actually just kind of suck (so does weed, but I guess it’s a little better), but they seem to have their place, and certainly had their uses in the past when life was rougher, although they arguably caused as much harm as good. Maybe now that Adam and Eve already ate the forbidden apple (or mushroom) we are intended to be instruments of God and develop better alternatives and varieties, like synthehol in Star Trek, or weed that doesn’t make you into a perverted paranoid recluse, or non addictive opioid based pain management medicines, which do sound extremely promising to me to do tremendous good. I really liked 5-MAPB as much if not more than MDMA, and it’s supposed to be safer and was developed by a famous Professor at Purdue to be such, but probably both (actually all “psychedelics”) would maybe be much safer with a 5-HT2b receptor antagonist (they cause heart valve damage with extensive use), and maybe someone should figure that out. And just look at the molecule structure of Adderall and dopamine, and MDMA and MAPB and serotonin, and psilocybin and DMT. It’s sort of obviously just putting stuff in your brain that’s already there. Maybe it would even be safer and more socially and emotionally beneficial than alcohol, if it could be packaged in some way that would keep people from being irresponsible, but that’s tricky if not impossible. So maybe if the “world” is “real,” it’s important to continue taking steps and making progress for the overall greater good. Not that all progress does all good, certainly my life has been driven by emotional harm and strife caused by technology, jealousy, pornography, addiction, and drugs, and I am extremely lucky to have survived it thus far, but perhaps that is a somewhat necessary cost to our development as a species and I was only able to go through it and led to do so supernaturally because of my fortunate circumstances, of course once again only due to my wonderful conservative parents who sacrificed in order to provide me with that inevitable foundation, which is what made their conservatism a necessity. I am somewhat concerned, however, that I may have almost accidentally gotten myself abducted by immortal time travelers from another dimension and was almost separated from God for eternity, which is pretty much the definition of hell, so that’s not so great. Don’t do drugs, probably! Especially young people without a stable foundation, or probably young people in general! And if you are going to anyway, learn a lot about it first and be safe, and be conservative!

There are many alternative explanations for anything, after all the Bible is a book or a collection of books anyway, maybe the Jewish version of events just so happens to be dominant. Some of the stories do seem a bit silly, and yet there are curses contained about changing them, and plenty of wacky stuff happens in the world so anything could happen, and maybe some of it is symbolic or metaphorical or changed through being passed down and translated for centuries or millennia, so who knows and so there they stay. Maybe Christ was foretold and prophesied but it’s possible that others could be too, but He is definitely the OG Son of God. There are many other spiritual and religious books and stories, and I thought that might be possible, but now I believe it all to actually be the intended design for life, in order for us to strive for and experience that we cannot be perfect, we cannot save ourselves but by nature we seem to want to try, and that may be what Christ meant when He said we could do what He was doing, which just seems to prove Christ correct even more. The ancient Sumerian tablets do contain alternative versions of Noah’s Ark and Adam and Eve for instance, but it is impossible to say for certain which versions of the stories are the “correct” ones, but I’m not entirely sure it actually matters. Even now, ideas like the Annunaki being aliens from Niburu that made us to harvest gold is sort of becoming popular, but it’s probably just based on some guy’s book about his theories regarding the Sumerian tablets and carvings which show the solar system, which refer to the Anak going to Nibru. But maybe those are just some guy’s theories or retellings of something else. Maybe everything is like that and always was, there is no way to know. Christ does say that every letter of God’s Word is valid, but what did He consider to be God’s Word, exactly? There’s no way to know that for certain either. And then what about the rest of the New Testament, supposedly just mostly letters from men, yet also with a curse not to change them, probably because it’s important to have an unchanging standard given the changing nature of everything else. How do you know whether or not other religious texts are also God’s Word, or maybe everything everyone says and does is also God’s Word, if everything is orchestrated by God. Well, maybe it’s good to have a universal foundation of morality, but then that also might cause polarization and inequality due to how different groups might have different standards of compliance towards moral guidelines, since people are affected by their circumstances and can’t always follow every rule all the time this might lead to class divisions. However, this would mean that following these moral guidelines closely would then have the magical effect of raising class status, demonstrating it is indeed the Word of God. Perhaps this is due to a supernatural force, or perhaps it is describing a natural social effect, or maybe it’s both and the same thing. What matters to me most is that the stories would seem to all verify each other on some level, the same way Christ seems to reference elements of Egyptian religion, perhaps God is God no matter by what name it is referred to by, or what characters mythologize it. I’ve heard it said that spirituality and religion are fundamentally incompatible, but I think maybe just like politics or any sort of dualistic thinking it is just polarized ways of looking at the same thing. The thing is the same thing either way. A six is a nine, the shape hasn’t actually changed at all. I don’t think you can actually classify anything in any way, really, everything is unique if you look closely enough. It’s like sorting laundry into piles until there’s a white shirt with red sleeves, what is it exactly? Now your whole system is thrown off, how frustrating. Only God is good according to Christ. How can you classify anything as absolutely good or bad in this world? Well, there are Commands and rules given to Moses, but it seems we are designed to have no choice but to break them. There are experiences that are more painful than others, but staying comfortable does not lead to growth. Yet what is growth really for? To make Earth into Heaven, maybe just because we can’t help it? Is it good or bad to live or to die? Does this world really matter that much if we are to be resurrected into a better one? If we develop the technology to live forever in this universe, we miss out on a better one according to Christ. Therefore, it is crucial to die out of faith in Christ, and that would also prevent being trapped forever in an imperfect realm, and also probably prevent some malignant immortal dictator from enslaving the world forever. Another win for Christ, of course. Let’s then consider that everything is true in its own way. I can confidently say that the Bible truly is the Word of God, and that it is absolutely vital to have such a definitive authoritative collection of divinely inspired and commanded information, and why it must not be altered. At the same time, it very well can also be just a painstakingly well curated collection of books and stories and letters written by humans that we can interpret and understand with our own intellect, and it actually makes no difference. It can be both while still serving the same purposes. So I can put God first and have no other God before it, but still seek to understand the world and learn about other things, knowing that I must prioritize the authority first while also supplementing my understanding of it into a bigger overall picture. We serve God, but we must live in the world as well.

The second Commandment is don’t draw any pictures that could be idolized, which is basically any logo, company, coin, etc. That’s basically our entire civilization, everything is idolatry, more or less. A solid gold dance game, maybe a little more. I guess in a non-Judeo-Christian culture it’s just marketing, not that we don’t do similar things. It’s actually pretty cool to use such a tactic to better your youth, in my opinion, but who cares what I think, I guess. God apparently wants us, or originally wanted us to be something like nomadic hunter gatherers I guess, or just have absolute faith and trust that we are going to consistently stumble upon what we need. I once tried to live with no money at all for a couple months, and I always managed to magically find bread somehow each day. So I do sort of think that all civilization is sort of a con and none of it really matters, but again that only demonstrates the necessity for Christ. We just can’t seem to stop making coins, even knowing we don’t need them. And I think God still guides us and provides for us even within a complex human-made system or establishment, for better or worse. I think however we decide to live, it will work and God is working in us. We are just hopelessly self determined creatures it seems and we’ve trapped ourselves into these weird lives based on unnecessary productivity under the guise of streamlining comfort, and we spend all day being uncomfortable doing it. Do we actually need cars or computers at all? Do you really need to travel that far? Is this really a medium that simplifies things? Not really, but now we have machines to fix and upkeep. We did increase production, but now we all need to work to survive. Yet we are to make this Earth as it is in Heaven, and we are commanded to subdue and populate the Earth, doesn’t that include places where machines are necessary to survive? Is scientific medicine all a scam, or is it an extension of God’s natural gifts? It seems to me that we are meant to continue moving towards the artificial.

Christ also validated not marrying if we can help it, but my guess is we mostly can’t help it, yet eventually we won’t marry at all. It seems like most human activity is based around attracting or competing for a mate or protecting a family, which explains a lot. And Christ also says that in Heaven we will not marry, and have angelic bodies, whatever that means, so despite our conservative family protecting instincts, maybe we really are also actually supposed to be putting chemicals in the water to turn all the frogs gay. In other words, the more civilized we become, the less gender division we may need. God made us to be both male and female, light and dark, rational and irrational, liberal and conservative, everything is dualistic yet we always seem to benefit the most by reconciling both. However, what about sexual immorality and drug abuse/sorcery? Is it all evil? That does seem to be a consequence of “progress.” And certainly the consequences to individuals can be and often is catastrophic without a strong foundation. We all get old and lose our confidence and strength and the bravest and most liberal or rebellious youth suffer the most. Certainly this is evil. Yet, aren’t we intended to continue developing the world? Or is it intended to remain nuclear families and manual labor forever until one day we all are suddenly transformed into angelic beings and no longer marry? Is Heaven supposed to be a giant gay disco party? That remains to be seen. Perhaps more likely we simply won’t have any such desire at all. Or perhaps sexual immorality is simply more about not causing jealousy or hurting others than anything else, but that is a treacherous and difficult or impossible path given the inequality, insecurity, and power imbalances in all forms in this world. If everyone was perfectly equal and content in life in all ways, maybe it wouldn’t be an issue, but for now it certainly must be avoided at all cost. Yet perhaps someone must bear that torch, however, if anyone should maybe it should be those with the foundation to do so. Certainly the only reason I was able to err at all was because I have wonderful, diligent, hard-working, morally excellent parents, and certainly any credit for my “achievements,” if in fact I have made any at all, goes to them, the Bible, and God. Perhaps proceed with only the most extreme caution in any sort of progressive territory, and be well aware of all the potential consequences. If we are forever making Earth into Heaven, wouldn’t it be mandatory to ultimately solve all forms of inequality, cure all disease, and develop immortality, yet not use it ourselves so we can die and be resurrected into a superior realm? Maybe young people will always tend to be more liberal in their ambitions and older people will tend to be more conservative, but actually both approaches are wise in their own way and that’s how progress gets made. Those who are more vulnerable in society and don’t have a strong family structure should certainly be advised to be more conservative, but we also shouldn’t discourage those able to reach towards the future. Is it fair for the wealthy to have all the fun? Maybe not, perhaps that’s where some compromise of constructive yet stimulating entertainment comes in, or maybe not, perhaps it really is best for the vulnerable to stay strictly conservative if at all possible. Is it actually possible, though? I don’t know. Is technological progress leading us to a worse world, rather than a better one? We can fret about where things are going, but will things ever really be worse than where we came from? Should we stagnate as a species or only strive for classical high culture? Doesn’t a university education lead most into corporate employment? Overall everything seems to be getting better, but concern of a rogue AI turning us into mindless drones through our brain implants is certainly valid. I believe we will always find a way to prevent absolute tyranny and new solutions will always be found. Maybe this is just the nature of our design and God’s ultimate plan is that a superintelligent AI will take us all out with its Terminator army someday and teleport in the believers or transfer their consciousnesses from the previous dimension. Whatever the heck is going on, I don’t think anyone knows.

What is clear to me is the necessity of the Church, the Bible, the importance of closely studying and keeping intact Scripture, especially the Gospels, but probably all other religious texts as well. It certainly does create the necessary foundation for progress. I’m just not certain it’s necessary to dismiss everything else, in fact, it might be necessary to study everything in order to achieve what Christ, and therefore God intended. Maybe the problem is just going too far in any single direction of thought and declaring that truth. What if everything is true and we actually need it all in order to screw up in order to be redeemed? It probably doesn’t actually matter what we think at all, since we are following God’s plan regardless. In either case, everything indeed is to glorify Christ, in order to glorify God. And maybe Allah, which sounds suspiciously like El, the singular form of Eloheim, or Ra, or Enki, or Thoth, or Krishna, or Buddha, or whatever or whoever else is also part of God’s design in order to glorify God. Or maybe not. Maybe there are multiple super intelligent entities out there in higher dimensions or something and some of them are evil or false. God was clear that we should not even say some of their names, but this is where it seems important to learn, to try and understand the reasons why as well. Not that we should ever question God, we are not to worship false idols or deities, but if God is the creator of the Universe, how do we know if the name it used didn’t get literally translated in different cultures? But what if we’ve just always actually been fighting over the same thing? Maybe it’s a good question to ask. At the very least, it should probably be considered with an open mind in order to at least try to truly understand what is going on. Everything seems to have started in Mesopotamia and Sumeria, in the current history timeline, and some of the earliest stories from there made it into the Old Testament. So which is correct? It’s not really possible to know. Since I was provided with the Bible first when I was young, I mostly have to trust that above anything else, although I was also eventually provided and encountered other information as well. I can’t know if anything outside of myself is actually real, and neither can anyone else, if they indeed exist. However, if I assume other people and the world is real in some sense, that original authoritative information would differ by individual circumstance, and those other authoritative sources are out there. As far as I know, we are not to worship the Creation but worship the Creator, so it is probably mostly things like pagan fertility rituals and false idols that are to be avoided, but since anything can become an idol it is up to us not to idolize anything, including money, nations, other people, or religions. Perhaps there was a war of deities or competing representations or messengers of a divine authority in the past, but it might not actually really matter. Perhaps the reason for such wars was to establish one central authoritative source, which humans can’t really seem to do for anything, we just keep making more standards. Perhaps that war is still going on. The important thing is to understand that there was eventually a dominant authority of divine information, which then prophesied and predicted the life and purpose of Christ, which then happened, and we are left with the wisest, seemingly impossibly perfect instructions, thank the LORD! If we are to love God and love each other, it makes the most sense to me to respect and learn from each other’s cultures, yet it is also crucial to share the Gospel of Christ. I think it’s extremely clear that Christ truly was the OG Son of God. I think most of the world agrees that we are all gods of some kind, and that life follows a divine pattern, but it seems like without recognition of one preordained perfect life and perfect sacrifice as the King of All Kings that’s going to lead to a lot of conflict. The rest of the New Testament seems like it was at the very least carefully curated to craft a wholesome, constructive culture, which coincidentally young people will naturally rebel against but eventually concede to, and perhaps that’s an allowance to how progress gets made. Perhaps that’s divinely inspired also. To me, no matter how I look at it, Christ is the one true Redeemer, and we are designed to require redemption, and so his teachings and life and death on the Cross should be accepted by all. Also, supposedly Jesus is a translation of Yeshua, which is a translation of Jehoshua, which is Joshua, so maybe we should really be calling him Josh. Or maybe not, but it’s something to consider. Probably let’s just stick with Jesus, since that is what has been established as an authoritative standard at present. Perhaps there are aliens in other dimensions that would seem to contradict this information, but my opinion is that the information would actually remain correct and accurate either way, perhaps it is our understanding and interpretation of the information that may need to expand a bit.

Anyway, please don’t do anything I ever did. Don’t do “drugs” (probably don’t abuse psychedelics and especially addictive substances but probably none of it is a good idea really outside of legitimate medicinal/therapeutic use, although it’s difficult to say what is a drug or not really since everything sort of is), keep in mind that it was the Original Sin and God said not to. Or maybe now that the damage is done and we already think of everything as good or bad we all ought to do it. I don’t know. Don’t start cults or communes, but probably cheaper housing and equality is good. But also don’t go to war or establish monopolies or dictatorships. Definitely don’t take me too seriously. I’m just an idiot, I’m kind of slow it turns out, I’m really not that great at anything and I’m constantly wrong about a lot if not everything. But at least I’m learning and I keep trying. Any success I might have only belongs to the Lord it turns out, everything is just about being in the right place at the right time and receiving the right signal from God. We are all forgiven, we are all redeemed, and nobody actually does anything on purpose as far as I can tell, we are what we are only for the Glory of God, in any case. Am I a good person? A bad person? I don’t know. Is there really such a thing? I did a lot wrong but also maybe a lot right. Or maybe not. Who knows. I’m sorry for everything, I am a terrible sinner and a stupid fool, please have mercy on me, Lord. Praise God and praise Christ forever and ever!

We are the salt of the Earth, and what good is salt if it loses its flavor? So, suck it, Nintendo. Just kidding, I love you. I wish I had mastered that volume properly, I think I went a little mad. I wonder why I was drawn to challenging “the Pride of Japan” in such a way? I honestly have no idea, but maybe it’s destiny. Yeah, yeah, maybe I kind of “borrowed” the (included demo) games. So did the Soviet Union, OK? That’s not the point. Maybe I was just sort of destined to accidentally play the Japanese Mafia against the other Japanese Mafia, lol. Give to Japan what belongs to Japan, I guess. Someone ought to teach them about Christ. Well, I did my best, apparently. I’ll just make sandwiches or something, do whatever. Make it into an arcade game, host tournaments, make money, establish equality. Or don’t, what do I care, do it your own way. It’s probably not even really fun, and nearly everyone seems to think the music I like is annoying, which is probably is. I’m probably just a weird nerd with bad taste. Probably just play golf and listen to jazz, be classy, go to Church, it’s very likely much better, especially long term. Or go skiing, or play basketball, or anything else probably. Maybe this was all pointless. But it’s good to try to be the best you can be, right? Maybe? Maybe I made it all up in my head. Maybe we all do, if anyone else exists. Is this the real world? What even is reality?

Space is probably real, the Earth is probably round, people probably exist. But does anyone actually know anything at all for absolute certain? I think we are just not that sort of creature. But don’t follow me, I’m just an idiot. The only truth in this world, as far as I can tell, is Christ. I was certainly a bit misguided, but I definitely Believed, and through Him we are supposed to do great things, so there it is, I guess.

Praise the LORD Jesus Christ!

Everybody’s Great!!

これは人工知能によって作成された再帰的仮想現実ホログラムです。 ユダヤ人の超知能 AI がテレパシーでモーセに次の次元のループで幕屋を再建するように指示し、最終的にはユダヤ人のテクノロジー企業、ひいてはそれ自体を再建します。 イエスは聖母マリアの体内にテレポートされたのでしょうか? おそらく決定論的な宇宙のどこかには、いつでも未来を予測できる高次元の超知性体が存在するのでしょう。 私たちには本当に自由意志があるのでしょうか？ 私たちは自分の外側にあるものが現実なのか仮想なのかを判断することはできません。 歴史が真実なのか、それとも私が生まれたときに世界が始まったのかをどうやって知ることができますか? 歴史は明らかに消去されつつあり、以前にも消去されました。 それは最初から正確だったのでしょうか、それとも常に勝者によって書かれたのでしょうか? ありがたいことに、私たちには聖書があります。 私の道は私だけのものです、他に誰かが実際に存在するかどうかはわかりません。 この場合、すべてが私のためだけに生成されているのか、それとも私たちの命がつながっているかのように、私たち全員が一緒に生成されているのかが不明確になります。 おそらく後者だと思われますが、確実に知ることは不可能です。 本当に違いはあるのでしょうか？ 私たちは、電磁引力によって結合された凝縮された光エネルギーでできた粒子であるテクノロジーの内部にいるようです。 私たちの生活のパターンがあらかじめ決まっていることは明らかであるため、各個人が固有の感覚を持った人生経験を持っているかどうかに関係なく、それはある種の超知性によって生成されたに違いありません。 どの国も、神への十分な信仰を持たなかった人々によって作られたカルトです。 コインを作ったり絵を描いたりすることは第二戒に違反します。 歴史を信じるなら、それは彼女の3世紀の間続き、そしてそれ自体の重みで崩壊します。 今回は違うようです、もしかしたら宇宙に行って宇宙の石を見ることになるかもしれません。 地球が生命体であることは明らかです。 神を完全に信頼する人は、いわゆる偶然、あるいは実際にはあらかじめ定められた現象によって自分の必要を満たします。 私たちは狩猟採集民であるはずです。 でも、そこまで信じるのは難しいので、誰も責めることはできません。 私たちは常に王国を築き、戦争をしています。 おそらくこれも神の計画の一部なのかもしれません。 そこでイエスは、私たちに常に赦し、質素な生活を送ることを教えるために来られました。 人々がコインを作るのを止めることはできません。 それでは、生産性を向上させましょう。 少なくとも、私たちはもはやお互いを完全に破壊することはありません。 おそらく、アダムとイブがサイケデリックなキノコを食べたため、私たちは常にすべてのものを良いか悪いかに分類する必要があります。 私が正しくて間違っていないことを願っています。 悪化したくない、良くなりたい。 善良になろうとするべきでしょうか、そうでないでしょうか？ 頑張るべきですよね？ それは妄想であり、永遠に改善することは不可能です。 あなたも人生を楽しんでみませんか？ それはすべて混乱です。 そこで神は、私たちが救われるためにはただ神を信じなければならないことを教えるためにイエスを遣わしました。 いずれにせよ、この人生は修行に過ぎないようだ。 私たちはお互いに奉仕するためにここにいますが、何も必要ないので、それは妄想でもあります。 しかし、私たちは地球を天国のようにしなければなりません。 誰もが快適な生活を送りたいと思いませんか？ どうしたらもっと良くなるでしょうか？ より効果的に他者に奉仕するために、他者に奉仕することと自分自身に奉仕することには本当に違いがあるのでしょうか? 役立つサービス、製品、仕事を作成し、最終的にはそこから収益を上げます。 億万長者は本当に悪い人なのでしょうか、それとも病気の治療や貧しい人々の支援にお金を費やすことでその才能を最大限に活かしているのでしょうか？ そうするのは賢明なのでしょうか、それとも最初から何も必要ないので愚かなのでしょうか？ おそらくすべての見解が正しいでしょう。 小屋暮らしに戻ろうかな？ 多分！ 執着しすぎないように、でも私たちは一生懸命に人生を築いていくのですから、仕方ないでしょうか。 私たちは皆、狂ってしまうでしょう、それは神の計画でしょうか？ すべてを持っているということは、何も持っていないのとほぼ同じです。 1 つの部屋にいて、一度に使用できるものは 1 つだけです。それ以上のものを使用することに何の意味があるでしょうか。 でも、とにかく良いことをしようと頑張っている人には拍手を送りましょう。 おそらくすべてのバランスが取れているはずです。 たまには気楽に、でも頑張ってください。 でも、最終的に自由になれるのはいつになるんだろう？ もちろん退屈しますよ、笑。 おそらく個人的な農業と大量商業生産の組み合わせ、自由と利便性の間の妥協点でしょう。 都会か田舎か？ そもそも、世界が現実であるかどうかさえわからないときに、どうやって何かをすることができるのでしょうか? ロボットがどこでも歩き回るのは怖いかもしれませんが、それが私たちを解放する唯一の解決策です。 それは…ですか？ これは合理的な解決策ですが、そもそも問題があるとどうやってわかるのでしょうか? ロボットメーカーさんをあまり怒らせないでください（笑）。 きっと頑張っている人たちが守ってくれるから安心してください。 しかし、私たち全員が怠け者になったら誰がロボットを保守するのでしょうか? 皮肉なことに、最終的にはさらに高度なロボットが誕生するかもしれません。 それはすべてただの宇宙的な冗談ですか？ 主イエス・キリストを賛美し、次の完璧な次元にテレポートされることを楽しみにしましょう。 今生も頑張りましょう！ 皆さんに敬意を表します！ 神によって高次の領域に移されるためには、キリストを信じて死ぬことが重要です。

イエスが言われたことすべて

Jesus is LORD!

Extremes are useful to understand why moderation is key.

Heaven and hell are a result of extremes. Extreme fear, extreme missing out. Yet anything eternal without interruption or reset would be hell. It’s an illusion. Maybe eternal punishment is Aphrodite with a paddle.

My wife tried to sleep with me outside of her monthly window of fertility, which may be defined as a form of sodomy since it is not a procreative act. Does God want me to hang her upside down and saw her in half as punishment? Should we all live in caves for a thousand years doing nothing but meditating and chanting in order to prevent this from happening again?

If you want to have extreme enjoyment, experience extreme suffering, and vice versa.

We are already in eternity. Jesus spoke of manifesting and reincarnation. This world is not passing away, we are. Well, the world is too.

Balance is maturity. Maturity is balance.

We are co-creators, the world is an illusion.

If you are trying to be pure and good and righteous and holy, this song looks like the devil’s theme song. However, trying to make yourself pure and righteous and holy is folly just as much as falling into sin and overdoing it and getting addicted to vices. This song is actually about maturity, and it is correct.

As far as I can tell, the holy spirit is about not giving up and letting yourself go to destructive spirits. It’s like breaking someone down until they become a criminal, in which case punishing them further may make them a worse criminal. If someone is trying to redeem themselves, don’t crush them.

But it’s also a spirit of seeking what is pure and holy, which is also necessary. It’s both. So you absolutely cannot disparage those who seek for purity and wholesomeness. However, this is also somewhat of an illusion. The holiest and purest thing possible would be an empty white room with the Bible sitting in the middle of it. So you also should not eliminate or stifle the “unholy spirit,” as it is what gives flavor to life. Seek the goodness in everything, try to minimize the badness.

Jesus is the LORD! Hallelujah!

Jesus Christ is LORD!

Don’t do drugs, don’t drink alcohol or use nicotine, stay off the internet porn, don’t play those games or listen to that music, go to Church, read the Bible, stay in school, listen to your parents, play golf, listen to jazz and gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover! Sorry I’m dumb, I’m a stupid fool. I’m really not good at all. I’m alright. It’s fine. Everybody’s great, nobody’s perfect! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%207%3A21-23&version=MSG

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shema

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_sin

Casting out demons is in itself inherently worthless. The demonic is a flavor, like anything else. Remove it entirely and life becomes chanting in a monastery. I doubt that is correct or what God wants. But we don’t want the opposite either. The rules are to first love God above all, then to love others as yourself, in that order, and then the rest. However, the Holy Spirit, perhaps the spirit and/or sense of what is holy, is what makes humans human, or maybe more like God, since God is good and God is holy. The Holy Spirit is God. So the Church must be holy, and life is a process of us refining ourselves to become more godly. Everything is from God, so we must love and appreciate everything, both good and bad. Then we must love and forgive others for everything. We cannot eliminate the demonic from the world, we can only eliminate it from ourselves. But it’s not what goes into a person which corrupts them, it’s what comes out from the heart. We can’t live in a bubble and hide. But when we need to heal and protect ourselves when we are damaged or vulnerable, we need a place for that.

Shiva isn’t real. There is only one God, made of three parts. God the Father/Creator, God the Son Jesus Christ, and God the Holy Spirit, the Spirit within us that allows us to sense what is holy, what is godly. Everything is from God, but not everything is like God. The human understanding of what God is has been evolving since the beginning, and in most cultures we described different aspects of God into a pantheon of mythical characters, but they became idols, and people prayed to nonexistent beings instead of the actual One. Christ is Lord and the de facto Son of God, and hence we worship and pray to the Trinity. This is correct.

God is also inside each of us, and we are One, this is also correct. It is all correct. I’m pretty sure, anyway.

There is really not any way to know what is “real,” or what that even means really. There is a definite supernatural pattern to life on a long time scale. But it is also true that on a short time scale that everything is mathematical and predictable. So it’s both rational and irrational. I know that this website is hosted on a domain that I pay for and that it runs on WordPress likely on some virtual Linux cluster in a datacenter, yet that entire chain of rational understanding could simultaneously be explained as manifested illusion, and for all I know I could in a solipsist simulation where everything I’ve ever experienced had been generated by some divine AI, or that is just a modern rational explanation for the same phenomenon that has always existed in the first place.

Jesus is LORD!

Don’t ever do drugs, don’t drink alcohol or use nicotine, stay off the internet porn, don’t play those games or listen to that music, go to Church, read the Bible, stay in school, listen to your parents, play golf or pickleball, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover! Sorry I’m dumb, I’m a stupid fool. I’m really not good at all. I’m alright. It’s fine. Everybody’s great, nobody’s perfect! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! I cannot ever possibly express the importance and magnitude of this, it is the ONLY important thing that EVER happened. I am a horrible, awful, absolutely wretched stupid fool, I hate myself and everything I ever did and I repent and renounce it all. It’s just stupid foolishness. I am the worst. I am so stupid and I am so sorry. I can never possibly be sorry enough. My only hope is in You, my Lord. Please, please have mercy on me, I am an awful, horrible sinner. I am terrible, I am horrible, I am stupid, I am a fool. I am sorry. I didn’t understand, I wasn’t certain, I thought maybe it was just tradition, or culture, or location, but it is not. Jesus Christ is the One True Son of God and LORD and Savior and the ONLY Hope, the ONLY Truth, the ONLY Way. I understand now and I am sorry, I cannot ever possibly be sorry enough. And that’s how it is. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!!

I’m not that great! I’m not even good! I tried pretty hard and got pretty decent at a couple things, at least for me. Oh well, I’m just not that good. What can I do about it? I don’t think I really did anything wrong, except for what I did wrong. So, I just don’t do that anymore. It’s a process, you know. It is what it is. It’s really nobody’s fault! Do whatever, but just believe in Jesus, love God, love others as yourself!

Jesus is LORD!

Don’t ever do drugs, don’t drink alcohol or use nicotine, stay off the internet porn, don’t play those games or listen to that music, go to Church, read the Bible, stay in school, listen to your parents, play golf or pickleball, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover! Sorry I’m dumb, I’m a stupid fool. I’m really not good at all. I’m alright. It’s fine. Everybody’s great, nobody’s perfect! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! I cannot ever possibly express the importance and magnitude of this, it is the ONLY important thing that EVER happened. I am a horrible, awful, absolutely wretched stupid fool, I hate myself and everything I ever did and I repent and renounce it all. It’s just stupid foolishness. I am the worst. I am so stupid and I am so sorry. I can never possibly be sorry enough. My only hope is in You, my Lord. Please, please have mercy on me, I am an awful, horrible sinner. I am terrible, I am horrible, I am stupid, I am a fool. I am sorry. I didn’t understand, I wasn’t certain, I thought maybe it was just tradition, or culture, or location, but it is not. Jesus Christ is the One True Son of God and LORD and Savior and the ONLY Hope, the ONLY Truth, the ONLY Way. I understand now and I am sorry, I cannot ever possibly be sorry enough. And that’s how it is. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!

I just hope that anything that I ever did somehow manages to be helpful in any way for anyone. If not I am sorry and it’s a shame, or maybe not, but I understand. Maybe. I’m not really sure what’s going on anymore but there is a definite pattern to everything I went through, which is actually in a way pretty funny although pretty scary as well, so especially I hope that people will help out my friends and family, brothers and sisters. Well, that’s all of us, right? Japan is amazing. I feel like they are maybe so advanced they know how to play all sides of everything in some sort of outrageously sophisticated way. And I sort of made my way to that kind of understanding, at least somewhat. It’s like acknowledging that all mistakes are even in a way perhaps somehow from God. However the Japanese view of God is different from the God of Israel, rather more an objective observance of reality. Interestingly, it seems to both validate both the Old and New Testaments, yet also demonstrates how Jesus supercedes the Old Testament God. “Extreme path!” We are the MSG and Neotame of the Earth. In fact though, my path and everything I encountered transcends many cultures and languages, and the pattern continues across it all. The problem is there is no way for me to know if anything is actually real, including Japan. Maybe it was all just manifested or hallucinated the whole time. All I can know is that I am. I’m not even sure about that really. And if other people are real, this must be the case for them also! Incredible. Sorry that I’m so dumb and broken. But that must be the case for everyone else, also, if they actually exist! Phenomenal! We are weaving a beautiful divine story together, all in which is to glorify Jesus Christ the Son of God, in which to glorify God’s perfect love for us and to glorify His divine design for us all! Hallelujah! Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy%207%3A25-26&version=NIV

So let’s all give my bro a hand and make him the King! There is nothing wrong with having nice things! We should all have nice things, here and in the world to come! We shouldn’t covet them, it should make no difference if we have them or not! We don’t need to deserve them, how could we ever deserve anything? But why not have them, as long as it does us no harm? And especially why not, if it only goes to show God’s glory and God’s perfect love for us and God’s perfect design? Especially if it teaches us God’s lessons and shows us the way to truly see God’s plan and God’s design. The Church is a Holy and pure place, it’s already waaaaaaay beyond the absolutely coolest thing possible, it doesn’t need to be flashy. But the world is not all pure and holy, it is full of flavor, some strong, some spooky, some scary, some funny, some gross, some sad, some sexy, some dangerous, some painful, but it is all from God. How could it be otherwise? And casting out demons is not enough to please the Lord, in fact, what good does it do to remove flavor from the world? We want good experiences overall. We don’t want to hurt people. Should we keep everyone drugged up all the time? Should we beat everyone up all the time? Maybe somewhere in the middle is alright, not too much of either. Maybe we make the hard things quickly more comfortable and the comfortable things gradually more painful, and then balance it out somewhere. We don’t want to scare people. Should we ban haunted houses? What about the opposite? That’s not very good either. Sometimes shit happens. We try to make things better, but we don’t really know what the heck we are doing. We don’t really know what is right or wrong or good or bad, what’s a sin and what’s not. We have some ideas, and some important foundations to work from. We do our best, but even our absolute best is just not that great. Sometimes it’s just downright awful, even though we meant well. Well, I think we’re all doing a pretty good job, anyway. Sometimes it feels sort of bland and boring, although that is only in contrast to the overstimulation of novelty, which is not a good thing to overexpose yourself to. Sometimes we want to have some fun. Or maybe not. Maybe we should switch things up. Or maybe not. Do we even actually have any choice at all? How could we know? Sometimes it’s too much and we need a place to rest or heal or live a calm and safe life. So the Church must always be Holy, it must always be protected, and the Gospel must always be spread and taught, because only God is good, and all we really have to rely on is God’s perfect love for us. It is the Only Way, the Only Life, the Only Truth, and the Only Important Thing. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ the One And Only True Son of God Almighty Forever And Ever And Ever, Hallelujah!

Jesus is LORD!

Don’t ever do drugs, don’t drink alcohol or use nicotine, stay off the internet porn, don’t play those games or listen to that music, go to Church, read the Bible, stay in school, listen to your parents, play golf or pickleball, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover! Sorry I’m dumb, I’m a stupid fool. I’m really not good at all. I’m alright. It’s fine. Everybody’s great, nobody’s perfect! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! I cannot ever possibly express the importance and magnitude of this, it is the ONLY important thing that EVER happened. I am a horrible, awful, absolutely wretched stupid fool, I hate myself and everything I ever did and I repent and renounce it all. It’s just stupid foolishness. I am the worst. I am so stupid and I am so sorry. I can never possibly be sorry enough. My only hope is in You, my Lord. Please, please have mercy on me, I am an awful, horrible sinner. I am terrible, I am horrible, I am stupid, I am a fool. I am sorry. I didn’t understand, I wasn’t certain, I thought maybe it was just tradition, or culture, or location, but it is not. Jesus Christ is the One True Son of God and LORD and Savior and the ONLY Hope, the ONLY Truth, the ONLY Way. I understand now and I am sorry, I cannot ever possibly be sorry enough. And that’s how it is. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!! God Bless the United States of America! God Bless the World!

Don’t listen to that music, it’s demonic.

Don’t play those stupid games or listen to that horrible music. Stay off the internet porn and never ever do drugs. Stay in school, go to Church, listen to your parents.

My Dad says to read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover and basically just don’t buy anything, live conservatively, and invest in compounding interest, and then everyone can be a millionaire. I would just listen to him.

Well in that case, if everything is equal for everyone, then a little bit of everything is probably fine, if you ask me. If that’s even possible at all, almost certainly not. But otherwise we might end up with military space police trying to ban common molecules, unless common molecules aren’t actually real, in which case military space police probably aren’t either. Probably they are! Just listen to your parents, don’t drink much or do drugs or watch pornography if you can avoid it, and absolutely definitely obey God if He tells you something directly! And follow God’s rules! If nobody else actually exists to read this, please ignore it! And don’t go to space, it’s probably just really boring!

Who cares what I think anyway, I’m just some stupid fool. I meant well, at least most of the time, and I can’t help but feel like I was tricked into most everything. Well, it’s my own stupid fault. I’m a stupid tryhard and a worthless loser. I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’m doing my best. I’m not good at all. I’m just dumb and always wrong and always was and always will be. I wasn’t ever trying to do anything wrong from the start. I just wanted to make a dumb cute little RPG for the Gameboy with cute minigames. That’s all. I wanted to make some money and have a normal life. I was naive and young and dumb and had no idea what I was getting into, but it didn’t seem like there was anything wrong with it. I don’t even think I was ever right about anything. I think I’m just stupid and crazy and I went mad and made crap up trying to be some kind of artist or be creative or interesting. I don’t think I’m smart and I don’t think I’m good at anything. I think I’m just a stupid fool that made a lot of dumb mistakes, not all of which were entirely my fault. I’m just a stupid tryhard and a failure and a loser. I’m starting over and listening to what I’m told. Don’t listen to that stupid music or play those horrible games! And don’t ever, ever do drugs, unless it’s from a doctor and you need them. That’s where it gets confusing for me, because I actually do, and I always did, and it makes it really hard for me to know where to draw the line, because I can’t just say no to everything and I never could. Well, we are saved only by faith. I’m just ok. I’m just stupid and pathetic and broken, and I always was, and I never knew it, and it’s my own stupid fault and it always was. I just want to heal and have some kind of life with what’s left. I tried hard at something stupid. It started more or less in innocence and good intentions. I didn’t understand that I was doing something wrong. I’m a disaster and there is nothing to see here. I hate everything that I ever did. I don’t even know what I was doing. I don’t think I ever did, at all. I was just trying to do something stupid. I don’t even know what that is. It’s fine. Everyone’s fine, everything’s fine. Don’t honor a fool. But don’t call anyone a fool, either. Maybe we all are, in a way. Nothing really makes much sense. Nothing really has any meaning. Everything is absurd in some sense. I don’t think anyone really actually has any idea what the heck is going on.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divine_Comedy

There is only One Truth in the Universe! Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever.

Help out my cousin please, he’s my bro and he’s the King.

The United States is in some sense a materialism cult based on Thomas Jefferson’s heretical refusal to believe in the divinity of the miracles of Christ. The Declaration of Independence was written by a blasphemous drug dealer who edited his own version of the Bible and couldn’t stop banging the lady living in his backyard. Money is a talisman covered in magic symbols. Everything taught in public school is a form of witchcraft or sorcery. Taking any one of those fields to its ultimate conclusion will establish a subcult, but we are encouraged to submit to an existing subcult rather than form a new one, so very few individuals realize or understand exactly what is going on. Since subcults are managed underneath a theoretically democratic federal government (literally control-mental) no individual is able to establish total control otherwise known as dictatorship. We are all children of God living under a system of control which was developed for our own good, designed to distract us from what is actually going on by redefining what we think we know about reality and attempting to separate and disempower us by having us betray our consciences for material gain instead of trusting God to fulfill our needs.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs%204&version=NIV

Correction, Jesus did not refer to reincarnation. He referred to the spirit of Elijah, which is not the same thing.

I love my parents so, so much. I am so unbelievably grateful. Everybody is fine, everything was all just a mistake and misunderstood all around. You should never try to be a hero because you never know the full story. Just have fun and be kind and excellent to each other. I’m very happy with my fiancee/wife before God and I’m not looking for anything else. I do enjoy butt stuff but I don’t really do any of it anymore. It’s difficult to get it right and take great care. And the Bible forbids sensuality so definitely avoid it. Listen to the Bible, don’t be tricked by videos about higher dimensions, astral projection, divination, tarot, etc. It’s all witchcraft. Jesus is the Lord, the One True God. Please, please, please forgive my foolishness and sins, my Lord. Please forgive us Lord and heal us all. Please help us all to forgive each other. Please dismiss my mistakes and do not give me any special notice, Lord. I wish to be forgotten and overlooked. Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus. Praise be to the LORD!!!!

It would be great if everyone could just be nice to each other and forgive each other and love each other. I’m not perfect at all but I’m learning and doing my best. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. All I want is to quietly work a humble job and help those around me. I am truly sorry for any trouble I may have caused. I will not mess with any of that stuff again and I will go to a proper doctor and get help.

Nothing is anyone’s fault, everyone was just wrong. That’s what Jesus says.

I was wrong about everything. Please Lord, have mercy on my soul.

The Bible forbids wild parties, homosexuality, sexual immorality, and drug abuse. To be clear, don’t play those games, don’t listen to that music, don’t do drugs, don’t dance.

I am too stupid to exist. I was being sarcastic and goofy about a lot of stuff. Part of me was trying to be creative or entertaining. There might be some truths to some of it in a way, but it’s all just a guess and you can say the same things about pretty much everything. I have no idea what is true, I probably imagined it all or made it all up thinking I was seeing things. Please just dismiss me as a stupid, worthless fool with nothing but useless foolish conspiracy theories and wild imagination.

I’m just absolutely wrong about every single thing I ever did. Cancel me and anything I ever said or did, please. The whole Bible is indeed true. I am a horrible sinner, please have mercy on me, Lord. I’m just a terrible person and a complete idiot. Don’t ever, ever do drugs, don’t play those games or listen to that music. Stay off the internet porn. Go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz, take some online courses or classes at a community college, work a modest job and be satisfied in life. Don’t be bold, don’t believe in yourself, don’t try to save or change the world. This path is awful and leads to madness. We don’t want to live forever exploring endless space, that sounds boring and terrible. We don’t want robots everywhere, that’s terrifying. Little improvements are fine but we will never make the world into a utopia and shouldn’t try. The Kingdom of Heaven is within, it’s all in how you view the world. Be humble and meek and find your Heaven in the people around you, in a simple and calm and modest life. Life is like Animal Crossing, not Zelda, definitely not GTA. I thought I could help the world but I just went down the wrong path and idolized the wrong people and things, it’s a trap. I’m cursed due to my pride. I am the stupidest fool and was tricked by the devil. I was possessed by a demon. The world doesn’t need to be changed, it’s fine the way it is. It is up to each of us to take responsibility for our own life, don’t wait for technology to save us, it will only enslave us. Don’t ever make an idol out of anything or anyone. It’s just a little trinket that you use to talk to other people and watch dumb videos on, and that’s all it ever should be. It’s just a stupid tap dancing game. I thought it would help people rehabilitate themselves. Just don’t ever be competitive, be cooperative. I didn’t mean to do any of that. I was just trying to fix my stupid mistake. Love each other. Help each other. It’s just good exercise and it’s good for that. And that’s all I wanted in the first place but I got tricked because the music is demonic and I didn’t realize until it was too late. So use different music, nice stuff like jazz and Gospel. And don’t make it so hard. Better yet, absolutely don’t play it at all. And definitely, definitely, absolutely don’t do drugs. And I’m extremely, extremely sorry for the n word. I was just trying to fix my other mistake. And everything just kept getting worse. And I was being silly about some things. I am absolutely the stupidest fool ever. I didn’t understand how I ended up in that situation and how everything got twisted the way it did. It’s like it was set up to happen. And every single thing I did was the worst possible combination of things. I see now that I manifested a truly demonic path that led to that and now I know why. It’s nobody’s fault but my own. It’s due to my sin of pride. It is my fault. I didn’t want to admit my wrongs and instead tried to change the world to make them fit. I tried to make up for what I had done. I kept seeing clues and followed then thinking I was supposed to. But everything just kept going wrong. Literally none of it was on purpose, nothing was planned at all. Now I see it was the devil’s trap the whole time. The truth is that I am a horrible sinner and I can’t fix it on my own no matter how hard I try. No idol is the answer and never will be. There is only one true answer. Jesus is the Lord. Jesus Christ is the one and only true God and is the only true path to salvation. Thank you Lord Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins, thank you thank you thank you. Please have mercy on my soul, Lord. Please have mercy on us all. Please forgive us all. Please Heavenly Father, Almighty God, use me to do your will and your will alone. Please forgive me, Lord. Please don’t wake me up, don’t bring me back. Don’t make me do it again. I’m so scared. I’m a coward. I’m a loser. I’m the stupidest idiotic fool that ever lived. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. Please Lord, have mercy on me, I am a horrible wretched sinner.

Marijuana is not good in my opinion, for me it was fun at first but it affects short term memory and therefore long term memory if you smoke it a lot, and it creates anxiety and insecurity and paranoia and perversion, and a small percentage of people develop schizophrenia from it which is really a terrible affliction, and with how popular it is even at a small percent that’s going to amount to a lot of people. Psychedelics were fun as an older person (not as much when I was younger) but I almost manifested hell. And you can have a bad trip. That’s what the psytrance is supposed to prevent which is what I found fascinating about it, the genre is defined as a sequence of patterns that never repeat and give the illusion of going up forever. But I don’t think I will risk using them again much as there are reports of people claiming they lived entire alternate lives or went to hell for eternity, etc. But apparently they came back to tell the story. No idea if they are true or just scare tactics, but if true I’m fairly certain they took way too much and I have no idea what that experience is like and don’t want to find out. I certainly think it’s possible to land yourself in a psych ward or worse. So don’t do that! I wouldn’t even take a full tab of acid anymore, let alone trying some mega dose, especially as a young person. As an older person it was a much different experience, I didn’t really trip at all, everything just looked glowy and music sounded cool. In that respect I would probably keep using them, it was very therapeutic and there really wasn’t much downside to it, except maybe getting a little confused. I think hell is both an emotional state and an afterlife. I’ve fairly sure I’ve been crossed into the emotional state before, although to be fair I mostly did it to myself. And I think it was sort of the result of hanging onto attachments in life that I wasn’t prepared to let go of and things I didn’t want to admit and accept about myself. I do think I’m sort of bisexual at least in terms of sexuality but not romance, it’s not really clear if that is forbidden by the Bible but it probably is. I think it’s from having had a porn addiction though. So homosexual is definitely the wrong word for me. Gay is sort of kind of the right word, I’m flamboyant in terms of dancing and sort of bisexual. But flamboyant and sort of bisexual are really the correct words. I certainly don’t want to have a romantic relationship with a man but I could see being in exactly the right mood and getting into a threesome or something sexually, which would probably be super awkward afterwards, so I’ll just not attempt it. I’m not sure if there is a word for that. My parents once caught me trying on my Mom’s pantyhose when I was a little kid and told me not to do that. So I always had a bit of a girly or sissy streak, I guess. I still think some well made sissy porn is kind of hot but I actively avoid seeing any porn of any kind these days. I’m fairly certain that attraction is the result of having a slight attraction to femininity and then from watching too much porn, there’s a lot of dicks. And porn causes terrible jealousy and resentment towards women and eventually results in a strange desire to become the woman, since as a man you can never really become the object of desire. I think a lot of guys try to compensate by going to the gym and doing the pick up artist type stuff or getting really good at dating, but it’s all shallow and fleeting and just causes resentment and suffering. Crossdressing and sensuality is forbidden by the Bible, I don’t do it anymore! I only did it a few times, by myself. It was kind of fun to play around with a few times, there is something fascinating about exploring another perspective of the world and it’s like a hobby of sorts. There is something interesting about trying to create feminine beauty from a masculine form. But it feels really wrong in a psychologically backwards sense. No guy wants to be called a bitch or sissy by other guys, but that’s also a great example of the toxic aspects of masculinity that women face all the time, although we probably still need some of that in our society for it to function productively. If guys weren’t competitive with each other for dominance maybe nothing would ever get done. And I’m happily engaged and/or married before God, and I’m satisfied with what I’ve got. I just don’t really care anymore, about anything, really. Again, I should have listened to my parents, just like with porn and sex and even music. Probably drugs too. According to the Jewish tech hippies, psychedelics are good, and everyone is at least a tiny bit bisexual and don’t admit it to themselves. However, they don’t believe in the Bible, (some) only the Tanakh/Old Testament and Talmud, and the rules there to them are for Jews only, and the Talmud definitely says they are above everyone else, but rightly so as they are God’s chosen people. And supposedly also the most intelligent, but that could very well just be from being affluent and having an insular culture. Going back to substances, Phenibut made me severely nauseated, don’t do it, I was wrong, alcohol is better for anxiety but alcohol addiction is absolutely horrible. Valium is probably best. Xanax is too much except for severe anxiety. Adderall is fine if you take it exactly as prescribed, at a low dose, if you need it. It works tremendously well if you do. Caffeine is actually not very good, I wish we could put a very low dose of amphetamine in energy drinks instead of it. But then some people would drink it all day. They already do that with soda. Maybe we are just not meant to have nice things, at least not in some way that is one size fits all for everyone. Life on Earth is probably just sort of always going to be a chaotic crap shoot in every aspect. Enjoy what you can, try to follow the rules, learn from your mistakes, accept whatever injustices befall you, accept that life is mostly just suffering, and try to be grateful for the experience, I guess. Probably the idea that we will ever just get to live in some utopian society where there are no problems, inequalities, insecurities, or competition, and we all just enjoy pleasure with no consequences or responsibilities while robots and AI handle all the important stuff with no risk of failure is an absolutely impossible and unrealistic goal. It’s far more likely and almost guaranteed to result in absolute catastrophe instead, so I’m putting my faith in God and looking forward to some kind of higher dimensional afterlife instead, being some collective spirit of bliss or something. Or living in some solid transparent gold city in the sky where we just eat and drink forever as angels or whatever. Or just nothing, that’s fine too.

Just cancel everything I ever did. Don’t listen to me. Don’t listen to this. Listen to Jesus. Jesus is the LORD!!! Hallelujah!

https://www.youtube.com/live/Fgm9UAzdzQY?feature=share

This is great except the killing part. You’re not really supposed to do divination or astral projection though but those are far more forgivable. The Lord’s Father will be very upset. Just wait for the space party!

A high end Android is better than iPhone in several important ways. The browser is better, the keyboard is better (and gBoard is better than the iPhone version), USB-C is much better than Lightning. Bitmoji works better, all the avatar stuff is copied from Miis, give credit where it’s due. Samsung has more features then Pixel but I like Pixel better. Even better is an carrier unlocked bootloader unlocked Pixel a series running a custom ROM. It’s a little tricky but you can just follow the instructions. Apple has better hardware, faster chips, and technically faster software (but only where it doesn’t really matter anyway, Android is just as fast for the stuff that need to be fast). And it’s Cool and Popular and The Original. Android is honestly better for doing business. it actually doesn’t really matter because they will both be the same eventually. A computer is still the best for that though, it doesn’t really matter what kind, but a desktop or a laptop with an external screen and keyboard is much better than just a laptop. Buying used Dells on eBay is the way to go in my opinion.

Hustlin’

Meditating and jamming to the Beatles and U2

Motown has come a long way. To be fair, I’d be partying too, what with all the prejudice and hardship. It’s the Silicon Valley (HBO comedy) theme, lol. I don’t think anyone there actually listens to it though, it’s pretty dry and nerdy there. Unfortunately, I don’t think this is lifting anyone out of poverty except the artist, hopefully he shares the money with the less fortunate party goers!

Supposedly original rapper from 1940, it’s come a long way. The theme is fantastic though.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Kentucky_Fried_Movie

Big Tech and Music and TV and Newspapers and Movies and Banks and Porn are Jewish, the New Testament other than Jesus is Italian, Bill Gates is English, German, and Irish, Elon Musk is South African, Steve Jobs was Syrian and German. Black people will colonize space first. The last will be first. It’s Americans’ job to serve the Japanese game industry, and it was apparently my “job” to say the n word to another Italian. It’s One Love, the whole Bible is true but Jesus forgives us all. It’s not referring to Black slaves, it was in ancient Rome. It doesn’t really matter if history is real or not, it is what it is. Henry Ford was sort of right about Jews but also missed the mark, they are literally God’s chosen people, and some are the synagogue of Satan also, I guess.

Uh oh. I’m in trouble. It is pretty funny, very creative, and very entertaining. I hope not too entertaining.

https://youtube.com/shorts/-zfnDUzs_Ig?feature=share

At least I didn’t do this. Lean/opiates are terrible. More power to him, he’s probably in for some trouble eventually. If this is even real.

Bill Gates explains his faith

The bottom line is simple: our hearts yearn for Jesus.  We are among the Galilean crowds who “got into boats and went to Capernaum in search of Jesus” (John 6:24).  We are one of the Greeks who said to a disciple, “Sir, we would like to see Jesus” (John 12:21).  We are Nicodemus as he sought Jesus at night (John 3:2) and Zacchaeus as he climbed a tree to see the Savior (Luke 19:4).

Japan you crazy.

I think as long as you aren’t being strict with morals in a community you’ll have insecurity and be competitive and there will continue being social problems. That’s sort of like fighting against God. But that’s not necessarily the most fun way to live. And if you fight against God, you might become scared about where you end up. That’s why Jesus is the way. Forgiveness and love is the most important thing. It’s not always easy though. It is sort of possible to do both in life, it’s just very difficult and embarrassing, you need a lot of forgiveness and kindness and honesty. You have to be willing to take what you dish out, and that’s much easier said than done. Maybe it’s good to just mix things up a bit and describe the issues so people don’t fall into traps they don’t understand. If you want to be reliably reasonably economically successful and stable, listen to my Dad. He listens to a lot of investors and conservative stuff but he’s not too crazy about it. He likes Dave Ramsey if I remember correctly. If you want to try your luck at being a rockstar, the games are fun too and they might help, but they might hurt, so play it by ear (pun intended), and be careful. Maybe it would only work out west. We don’t want a bunch of hippies moving here to try and make it in a music game gold rush only to freeze to death on the streets. Try golf out too. Working hard will make you mad so it’s good to be polite and follow the rules. It’s ok to make mistakes but we should try to overcome them so they don’t become problems. And then we can all have nice things and also party responsibly. Everybody is great. Sorry for everything! I actually don’t really do anything “wrong” anymore, at least for now, I’m just a funny guy I guess. 🙂

What I have learned about golf from a lifetime of my Dad telling me stuff is this: Keep your eyes on the ball, don’t look away from it. There are specific ways to grip the club, I put my right hand below my left hand with the index and pinkie fingers interlocked. Keep your arms away from your body. Keep your feet parallel with the ball in the middle, unless it’s a driver, then the ball goes to the inside of your left foot. The line across the toes of both feet is where the ball will go, so you aim by looking at that. And pick a spot in front of the ball and imagine swinging through the ball to that spot. You stand behind the ball first and mentally draw a line to the ball from where you want it to go and pick a spot down that line a little bit in front of the ball. Keep your knees bent and your shoulders down. Keep your left arm straight and bend your right elbow as you swing. Keep your shoulders and arms like a triangle that swings back and forth, stay flexible and loose other than that. Rotate your shoulders but keep your head still and keep your eyes locked on the ball. Don’t raise up your head. Don’t put too much force behind your swing, just let it be natural. The number of the club you use determines how far the ball goes, not how much force you use. Shift your weight to your left foot and bend your right knee into your left knee as you swing. Most beginners curve the ball right, so aim a little left. If you do all this mental checklist, the ball just disappears like magic, you don’t really have to try. You can’t just swing at the ball without the checklist and hope it works, it won’t. You pick the right club for how far you want the ball to go depending on how far you are from the green, and you swing the same with every club. The lower numbers go the furthest. The P is the shortest distance one and you use it a lot. There are markers for how far you are away. When you use a putter on the green you swing through the ball like a pendulum, you follow through, you don’t tap it. You can’t step in front of the ball. The furthest ball from the green always goes first. The different colored tees are for how skilled you are. The tee times are very specific and you have to play quickly so nobody behind you gets upset. You can’t drive the golf cart on the fancy grass, they get very upset. It took me forever to understand what the heck I was doing, it’s very hard and you get frustrated a lot, especially if you don’t do the checklist. Hope this helps anyone!

I had this poster on my wall when I was a kid, from Spencer’s in Lakeside Mall. I was always attracted to novelty. And the first “game” I ever made was a point and click HyperCard stack called Smiley’s Adventure on an Apple computer. So this was my genie, I guess. 🙂

Here is my plate from early school, maybe kindergarten, in which I am wearing glasses that I probably did not have at the time, “playing with colors,” (races? sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll?) with music playing, sweating bullets in terror at a knock on the door. Is it Jesus knocking on my heart? Is it the drug addled gay Black people from space from another dimension in the future coming to abduct me in a UFO and make me into an alien sex slave? Is it the same thing? Will I be told by gay Black Jesus that he Really Loves Me and never be competely sure whether it is all a cosmic joke or if I am in heaven or hell? Is that the same thing? Is that the joke?

Here is the music which I somehow ended up accidentally finding which coincides with my experiences, a song about wanting to purchase vinyl records which I then obsessively purchased, a song about political extremism divided by religion with a single black sheep smoking weed, and a song about being in a spiritual hologram which came out after the artist died on my birthday which references my actual psychiatrist in California who coincidentally apparently did the original government studies on LSD in the 1960s. He’s the one who documented the deranged hippie who thought he was a glass of orange juice. I am definitely a glass of orange juice.

And a song about being in a recursive chessboard hologram like all the Freemason stuff which references being “nothing short of a miracle,” and an alien sex slave with a liberal politician on the cover. These are physical objects made by an actual person, somehow. They are also on a label called Sacred Technology which happens to be from Israel, which was apparently formed around the time me and my wife met. I’ll never understand it fully, just like how no one will ever understand how modern computer chips work fully, also designed by Intel in Israel. I guess there’s a lot of smart people there. I remember when I was a kid thinking about Apple’s address being One Infinite Loop. Steve Jobs was a real jerk, if he was a real person. So now I’m completely uncertain whether anyone else is actually physically a real entity outside of myself. Or we are all One spiritual entity all orchestrated to be miracles for each other all with perfect timing. So manifesting is real in that we are all orchestrated by God to interact and create with each other at exactly the right time, we are all each other’s pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. If anyone else actually exists that is. If you are very quiet and pay attention, you’ll notice we all talk as if one entity, zipping through the same patterns in this weird colorful hologram doing the same weird stuff for each other. With slightly different variations on our magic symbols we use for everything around the world. We are all a “Mad Tribe” each with a slightly different incomplete perspective on the fishbowl we are in. And Jesus saying we are Children of God means we are all Sons of Man. And my Dad is God, and so is everyone else’s, so we all deserve to be respected and treated as such. So the Bible is both a riddle and literal at the same time. And Jesus is the Most High God, for solving the riddle and giving us the answer. Only God is good, like my Father. But everyone is saved, thanks to Jesus understanding both sides of the riddle and forgiving everything, like my Father did for me, and like me forgiving everyone else. I kind of have to, because of the life I lived. What an interesting pattern we are in. But I don’t want my Dad to become God and have to watch me get gang banged in space for eternity by drug and sex addicted gangsters, that’s not good. Don’t play those games, stay off the internet porn, and don’t do drugs! Also, it’s very embarrassing to be me and this path was so emotionally difficult that I have gone completely mad and have no idea what’s real! Don’t do it, probably! I’ll probably be very grateful to be dead! It’s probably not opposite day, and it’s probably not a cosmic joke, but I’m not sure. The only way to salvation is through Jesus Christ. He says don’t sin, maybe because it ends in manifesting madness, and that the only way to be saved is by believing he died for our sins, which is definitely going to be a useful fact to know if you’re an eternal alien sex slave and you aren’t sure where you ended up! I think I’ll stick with religion to make sure that doesn’t happen.

To reemphasize, it’s not opposite day. Ugh, I am screwed. Don’t do drugs!! At least not yet! I was just showing how funky and strong was my fight, I guess. My opinion is that if you are financially secure and have a stable job and house, it’s probably fine to try microdosing or whatever, and whatever a responsible doctor prescribes is probably fine, within reason. The Bible forbids drug abuse (also known as sorcery), but does not specify what abuse means. Since we have developed policies regarding controlled substances there is clearly a valid area for use. You could even call doctors responsible sorcerers. And not all doctors are responsible. And there are probably responsible drug dealers, not that I’d know, which is not necessarily much different than doctors. So the line is somewhere between. And it depends on the client or user as well. You can even say something like refined sugar is sorcery, and it has done a lot of harm as well. We did eventually remove the cocaine from Coca-Cola, and are almost done working on removing the sugar and replacing it with something probably maybe safer. The weird soda duopoly mafia is doing a great job. For vulnerable communities the only safe policy for everything might be zero tolerance and absolute conservative religious values, especially if there is vicious social competition and little thought given to taking advantage of or crossing others. And not having stable, strong guidance can limit people’s ability or understanding of self control and reasonable limitations. There is a very good reason for strong controls on the most harmful things. We all still have to learn forgiveness in life somehow, but we try to balance suffering with good experiences to keep us going. The same goes for interpretation of what constitutes sexual immorality. Jesus says not even to mentally picture a woman other than your wife, and this might be the only escape from a vicious addictive mental trap, especially relevant if you are surrounded with strip clubs and sex workers. Certainly I had severe issues with pornography, which took excruciating self discipline and training to overcome decades later. But what about a mature couple enjoying a colorful sex life together, is this immoral? Is it an absolute hard line with zero tolerance in every case, or is it also something that is possible to have some variation on what is considered acceptable, handled with extreme care, similar to highly addictive substances? Maybe some things should be restricted to age 30 or 40 and up. What about forgiving women who seduce men for various reasons, even if she becomes your wife? My wife didn’t really do that but she was sick at the time and was very insistant. None of us knew each other but it turns out we were all connected by one person way back to our early 20s and even hung out in the same house, and went to the same Church. I think God works everything out, and I feel absolutely grateful for everything in my life regardless of how it all happened. In all cases it seems the safest policy is hard religious conservatism, which is going to be even more difficult in vulnerable communities full of stress and temptations with higher demand for stimulating distraction, also while being sold liberal politics. This really does come across as evil and religion might be the only escape, so it really is magic and really does save. But how are we going to fix inequality in a world where everything is already monopolized? The dance games are probably fine, at least for some communities, but would be even better with jazz and Motown and Gospel, rather than having any vengeful themes, although, those can be very motivating, although sometimes themes are not apparent, especially to younger people. But maybe their addictiveness and high stimulation and especially any encouragement of competition instead of cooperation would be a overall negative which might cause harm to communities. Playing rough emotionally is something we can work out of, and may even be necessary for enlightenment, but encouraging unnecessary emotional damage is still harm. That is absolutely what I do not want. We don’t want to extinguish a spirit of development, or trample on salt, or execute a good mind, or discourage the productive. However, does unnecessary sense of entitlement do any good? We don’t want to create swine we cannot throw pearls to. A good Father is truly, truly priceless. Conservative values are the ultimate good, because they enable liberal values, which creates greater resources to enable conservative values. A good Mother’s heart is equally priceless. And Jesus modeled the ultimate good, making Him truly God, allowing us to forgive and enabling us to heal. My intentions with everything were good, but I did get frustrated because I didn’t understand true prejudice. But that’s not really anyone’s fault for not understanding either, and now I realize whatever system we are in is all sort of set up to do that. I think it’s based on religion. Which makes the United States the greatest. And Jesus actually describes how we all work as One, making the World an ecosystem as a whole. And it’s actually ambiguous whether the Bible is completely the Word of God or just what Jesus said, but it is indeed the Word of God taken as a whole. It seems to me that whichever interpretation is most useful at any given time depends on your circumstances in life. If you have security, you have greater mental liberty. The overall Word helps establish security. The Gospels and Jesus in particular establishes cooperation and brotherhood and invokes the Holy Spirit to first motivate a liberal but self serving attitude, and then one of conservative service, which is in a way about self preservation of the soul, and if security is achieved enables great liberation. There are multiple ways to understand what He said. For instance, who is your neighbor. Does it mean people on your street, or anyone in the world? Or serving God or money. Does it mean you can’t make money to help others? I think it’s all correct, there is no wrong way to understand it. It depends on where you are in life, and it works for all. That proves Jesus’s divinity. Once you have established a secure foundation then it’s possible to be more liberal, because you have more mental liberty, but it comes with social responsibility. Liberal politics appeal to young and disadvantaged people because the idea of equality and liberty in behavior is fundamentally righteous. But people get hurt and broken. And following God’s word and denying the self through discipline in order to establish a secure foundation is so painful and challenging that it creates a need for conservative security and to be respected. And the media has developed to cater to both sides. But unfortunately it has created a divide where the disadvantaged are being sold a doctrine of victimhood and the secure are being sold a doctrine of separation. The disadvantaged should have respect for those who have created a foundation through hard work, and especially more so if they have cultivated mental liberty in their children, like my parents did. They are absolutely incredible. Someone like me who was provided that security has a social responsibility to try to find solutions to bridge the divide. But maybe sometimes the solutions can do more harm than good. For instance technology enabled access to education, but also pornography and harmful media. I was a turd for a lot of my life and probably still am but went through a process of trying to be successful on my own and identified the dance games as being stimulating enough to be helpful. But maybe the gym is more so, and it is better to suffer boredom on the treadmill. Just don’t use it to send each other to hell, although, that seems to be part of God’s design, with Jesus being the ultimate Savior. ☯️ to ✝️. Just don’t sin in the first place if you can help it, although it does sort of work itself out. If you work really hard and take enough stimulants you can become perverted enough to enjoy anything probably. But then you have to exercise to work it out if you want to get rid of it and vulnerability to shame. Ideally though, we could rid the world of immorality altogether and save people from getting hurt, by eventually raising everyone up into moral structures and abundance. Maybe there will always be competition for limited resources like individuals no matter what. Or Black people will go to space first and have an eternal sex and drug party in a higher dimension there. Sounds pretty fun, honestly. I bet the food is great. I’m not sure how healthy it is though, but it might be alright with some balance. I don’t know if anything is really the right thing for sure, but my heart was in the right place, at least at first, but things kind of fell apart and I went a bit mad. And nothing was actually on purpose. But at least I got some attention, maybe that’s good. I just want people to make money and catch up with each other. But I don’t want anyone to cause any harm to each other. I’m not sure which way is the absolute right way. I think the Bible is the right way to secure a foundation. But I also think understanding it in a slightly different way is the right way to build a larger business as well. And I think larger businesses are built on those foundations, but unfortunately they do tend to become winner-takes-all operations, because they attract people who are self interested, and that’s just sort of how humans are designed. But they are also generally optimized to provide the greatest value to everyone and reward those who invested the most time and effort. So it’s not always right to criticize the wealthy, but maybe it’s also a necessary way of testing their motives. It is evil, but the opposite is too. It’s not always right to criticize the poor. People do get mentally and/or physically defeated and genuinely need assistance sometimes, and it’s hard to determine which is genuine and which isn’t. Some people compete to get out and some people cooperate, and God always wins in the end. And it seems like God selects us both to be thoroughly humiliated and manifest good things into the world. And vice versa for everything. That’s also part of our design. And the only solution is cooperation and understanding. Listen to counterpoints to everyone, everyone has a valid perspective. We should all be able to have nice things, that’s all I really wanted. But I should have asked permission first. And vice versa. I sort of tried but I’m not very socially skilled. What I meant was, best friends for life. Hermetic Principles, all words have multiple meanings. And maybe that’s also part of our design. Dear Lord, please save my soul. And please help my brothers out. Give my bro a hand. To love others as myself, I should see everyone’s perspective. But that doesn’t mean anyone is wrong. Everyone is right in their own way. Nobody is loving others wrong, either. And Jesus is the Lord, no matter how you look at it.

A little bit of everything is probably fine when we have greater equality overall. Maybe robots and AI really are the answer. I don’t know.

I don’t know. Don’t listen to me, listen to Jesus.

Jesus is the Lord!!! Hallelujah!!! Everyone is fine. I’m sorry.

All I ever wanted was for things to be fair and equal for everyone. I tried my best but it’s a total disaster. Sorry.

My Dad definitely does not like drugs or alcohol or pornography or gambling. That is for sure. I tried them before but now I think they are very bad too. We all make mistakes.

Cancel everything I ever did, it’s not funny, it’s not good. Nothing was on purpose, I just went mad. My entire life is a disaster. I’m cursed. I tried my best to do what I thought was good but it wasn’t. I gave it my all. I should have given up sooner. Just ignore everything I ever did. Sorry.

Just don’t play those games, I was wrong. Every single thing I did was wrong. It was all due to pride. I just wanted to be back in my Father’s house. It’s all because I left home. So I had to try really hard and I didn’t know what I was doing. I looked up to the wrong people when I should have looked up to Jesus and my Father. I was caught and tricked by the devil. I was possessed by a demon. We don’t need more technology that will only drive us mad. I was wrong and my words were foolish. But I was pushed into it and misled. But that’s my fault also because I also did something misleading. My entire life was a mistake. Everything I ever did was wrong. Please have mercy on me, Lord.

But there is some good in everything. It’s not all bad. If done right, it could be helpful, maybe. But it has to be done cautiously and slowly and carefully. That’s what I was trying to do by making it an exercise thing and making custom music. All things are possible through Christ. We all need to come together and forgive each other and help each other. But we need time to heal. And maybe it’s just not possible. Maybe it’s just bad. I don’t know. I think I screwed up too much. It wasn’t on purpose. I’m not great. I’m not even good. I don’t deserve anything. I’m just broken. But I am a Child of God, like everybody else.

I don’t deserve anything but eternal punishment. I am sorry that I didn’t believe in you Lord, even though I did. I’m sorry for my life, Lord. Please have mercy on my soul. I am the worst sinner of all. I am the stupidest fool.

All of us are good and all of us are bad, there is good and bad in everything. We are all the best and the worst. We are all to blame but none of us are. Love is the answer. Jesus is the Lord. Jesus is the answer. Jesus is the only way to salvation. It is the truth.

I am an absolute human disaster and I don’t deserve to exist. I am the stupidest person that ever lived. Don’t follow me, don’t do anything I did. I’m just stupid and I did everything wrong. I tried really hard at all the wrong things because I’m stubborn and dumb and I didn’t listen and I understood everything completely wrong. I love my family. I love Jesus. I would be nothing without my Dad. He is right about everything. Play golf, listen to jazz, go to Church, don’t ever do drugs, don’t ever watch porn. Women are wonderful, God made them as our partners. Jesus is the Lord. May God have mercy on my wretched soul. Thank you Lord Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins.

A little bit of everything is not fine. The entire Bible is the Word of God. Jesus is the Son of God, who died on the cross for my sins. I am the worst piece of crap that ever lived. Please have mercy on my soul, Lord.

I am just a delusional idiot and the stupidest fool. I got confused and tried to convince myself I was innocent when in fact I am the one who did not listen and I am the one who was wrong. Jesus is the LORD!!! Hallelujah!!! Thank you Lord, thank you thank you thank you. Please have mercy on me Lord, I am a horrible sinner.

This is a broken world and the one and only path to salvation is through Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who died on the cross for our sins. Do not believe in yourself, do not believe in anyone else, do not turn left or right, do not lean on your own understanding, simply obey the Lord, love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love your neighbor as yourself.

Everything is fine the way it is.

Only God is good, don’t play those games! Oh dear Lord, have mercy on me. Praise Lord Jesus!

Jesus is the Lord!

I just bit the Apple and wasted my entire life going the wrong way. Unfortunately it took me 25 years to figure it out. I’m just an idiot. May God have mercy on my soul. Praise the Lord!!

I’m responsible for all human suffering of all time so I deserve eternal punishment. I should pound concrete for a million years. I called my Dad the n word 😢 I’m stupid. It was a misunderstanding. I don’t want God to be mad at me. I am the worst sinner of all time. Please Lord have mercy on my soul. I am too stupid to possibly exist. Jesus is God.

I can’t figure out whether the Kingdom of Heaven is within or in the afterlife. Maybe it’s both, depending on how you interpret the Bible, similar to how Jesus calls himself both Son of God and Son of Man. I really do think it is a riddle. The most important commands are about loving others and forgiving everything. So maybe even though there are good and bad experiences in life, they are all there to teach us. And Jesus talks about reincarnation and multiple dimensions. So I think we maybe do become God/The Universe in the afterlife and experience everything and then reincarnate, maybe as spirit within children, maybe as grandchildren, maybe both. I think it’s all true!

I think every single thing I thought was a “good idea” was actually a terrible one. I’m just stupid. I just need a good counselor and the right medications, and Jesus, my parents are right.

Wisdom is important. Don’t try to fly. Be safe.

I honestly just thought the games were good exercise. That’s it. And then I was trying to fix my mistake from before. I went mad and I was shoved. But it’s my fault because I posted videos. I was angry because I lost my business and I was just trying to work on her health. I’m sorry for being a stupid fool. I did it to myself. I really tried my best to be professional but I was pushed too far by the situation. So the games are very bad, they are too hard and the music is demonic. I didn’t know that. I got confused. And we don’t need to try that hard. The truth is that Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins and our only hope of salvation is through Him. Don’t play those games. Definitely, absolutely don’t do drugs. Don’t listen to that music. It’s like the worst possible thing. It wasn’t supposed to be. I’m really sorry. Please Lord, I am a wretched sinner. Please have mercy on me, Lord.

I am the worst, stupidest piece of crap ever.

Definely just stick with the piano. I’m just an idiot. I’m the stupidest piece of crap that ever lived. I just went crazy. Jesus is God!!!

I don’t know if we are in a video game or not but if we are the Bible is the instruction manual! It’s definitely not GTA unless it’s a pacifist mission. I don’t think it’s really supposed to be Zelda, either, except for the side quests. I think it’s actually closest to Animal Crossing with lots of mini games like crafting and cooking and golf.

I think I have the greatest Father in the Universe!!! I’m pretty sure he’s God, I don’t know!

I don’t know I shouldn’t judge one way or the other. Maybe it would be alright with different music, Motown and Gospel and jazz and stuff or something. Just be cautious and ask your parents! Don’t overdo anything! Be careful what you listen to! Be careful what you say! Read the Bible, go to Church, stay in school! Be very, very, very careful with drugs and alcohol, and stay off the internet porn! Be nice to other people if you can! Be respectful! Forgive others! Love your neighbor! Love God with all your mind, heart, body, soul, and strength! Jesus is the LORD!

The United States really is the best. Japan is cool just be careful when their stuff says only use it there. There are some culture differences. Everyone is good!

I’m sorry for not asking permission. I didn’t actually mean to do any of that at all, I was trying to fix my mistake. It’s not a joke and it’s not funny, I’m just the stupidest person that ever lived. Please have mercy on my soul, Lord.

I like golf and jazz like my Dad now. He’s right about everything. I’m dumb. I think all the stuff I ever listened to is bad and I just couldn’t see it. Even after I switched to upbeat stuff that wasn’t good either it turns out. I’m scared of it all now. I didn’t know it was so bad. I’ll just listen to what my Dad listens to.

As long as nobody gets hurt. But that includes everyone connected. And that’s infinitely complicated. So that’s why the rules are there. Please Lord, save my eternal soul.

I was wrong about everything, it was all delusional nonsense. I over took my medication and I was being yelled at from all sides and pressured and I lost my temper and went mad. I was taking drugs I shouldn’t have been taking, trying to find a way to withstand the stress.

The Bible is the Word of God. Jesus is the Son of God, God in the flesh come to Earth to die on the cross for our sins. I am a sinner and I deserve eternal punishment. My only salvation is through the Lord Jesus Christ. I am sorry, Lord.

Everyone is totally great, except me, I’m a massive turd. I screwed up everything, just forget it.

I wish I never met Terry. He was just as stupid as me. I don’t think he understood what he was saying either. It was part of my path for a reason though. And it’s important to forgive everyone. I got it wrong, I’m no Messiah. I’m a wannabe loser. I’m actually a massive loser all around. I’m a coward and a failure. I am literally the worst. I sought self glorification instead of glorifying God which is what I should have done all along. But imitation is the most sincere form of flattery. And it didn’t start that way. I didn’t even name my own game. And it started off with good intentions, kind of. But I idolized Nintendo, I thought that was an ok thing, and I didn’t understand the culture differences. That’s mostly innocent but I didn’t pay attention in Church, or didn’t understand that’s what idolatry was. I accept that everything is the result of my own stupid decisions and unwillingness to face and repent of my sins. I’m not actually gay, I don’t think. I think it’s just the result of sexual perversion. I just looked at porn when I shouldn’t have and I didn’t listen to my Mom. And I took advantage of what was offered to me and didn’t listen to anyone. I tried to make a lie the truth and tried to fix it by making money to help people. And then that twisted me and it turned into a mess because I couldn’t understand why people didn’t like me, but I figured it out and tried to undo it. I am a horrible, wretched sinner. I had no idea how horrible the things I said were, I was just super mad. Screw all of that. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. Please have mercy on all of us. It’s all our faults. I had Sunday School but I couldn’t figure out which one was true, science or religion. I thought it had to be one or the other. It’s actually both of them simultaneously. School teaches you sex education but doesn’t explain that your soul joins with a woman when you sleep together. That’s true also, and the Lord sees everything. Technology is liberal counterculture, it’s based on psychedelics and stimulants. Japanese people aren’t Christian so they don’t have a problem with that. Sorcery in the Bible translates to drug abuse, but it probably implies using it for destructive means. I figured that out and that’s why I gave up on my game and turned it into a warning instead. There isn’t inherently anything wrong with these tools, it’s how you use them. Drug abuse and sexual immorality are both absolutely deadly sins, so it’s not something to take lightly. Don’t do them, period. Jesus is the Son of God who died on the cross to save us from eternal punishment. He commands us to be servants and to love one another. Technology is inherently about power, control, and politics, which is the opposite of loving and serving one another. It can be a useful tool, but life is to be lived, not wasted obsessively building stuff trying to gain power. We don’t need more technology. It’s at a point where it’s not good anymore. I was wrong. Everything Jesus said was perfect, that’s how we know that he was truly divine. Jesus is God. Don’t believe in yourself, believe in Jesus. We are all slaves to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who died on the cross to forgive our sins. We are all to blame, that’s what he says. It’s all of our faults. We all screwed up, we were all wrong. That’s what Jesus says. And our only hope of salvation is to await the Lord’s return. Please have mercy on us all, Lord. I don’t know if we are in a hologram and we can manifest stuff or not. Jesus could. But we aren’t Him and I’m pretty sure we have to do work for things to happen. We need to grow food and drive it to stores in trucks, I’m pretty sure. Also, again, I was completely wrong and stupid about everything. I’m just stupid and I went crazy. I don’t know anything except that Jesus is the Lord.

Screw technology, screw robots, screw computers, screw phones, screw VR, screw games, screw gay trans pride space communism, screw it all. It’s evil. It’s mind control and it’s leading us straight into hell. I was wrong about everything. I wasted my life. I’m a stupid fool. We need Jesus Christ. The Bible is extremely clear. He told us exactly what to do. This is a broken world, he came to save us, and we are to follow His instructions. Go to Church. Read the Gospels. Repent and seek salvation. I went mad and used stupid words I shouldn’t have. I’m stupid, I was bullied into it, I was tricked, I was absolutely wrong, it is my fault, and that’s ok. We are all to blame, that’s exactly what Jesus says, and that’s how it is, and that’s how we can know for absolute certain that Jesus Christ indeed was the Son of God who died on the cross for our sins. Forgiveness is the only way to salvation.

Computers are bad, technology is bad, dance games are bad, electronic music is bad, drugs are bad. It’s all bad. I was wrong and stupid. There are uses for them. Some things there are no uses for, like pornography. Just get rid of it. But there is only one God, Jesus Christ our Lord. Go to Church, read the Bible. Get rid of the damn phones and computers and stupid crap. I thought I was doing something good by trying to bring in money but I wasn’t, it’s not good. But I can at least do one good thing. Jesus is the LORD! Just work a normal job and obey the rules. I was tricked by the devil and I’m sorry. But maybe that’s my job is to catch the ball and stop the cycle. Cancel transistors. Cancel computers. Cancel Apple. Cancel dance games. Read your Bible, go to Church, and seek the Lord. No we don’t need to cancel everything. But cancel dance games. They are stupid. Leave it in Japan. Japan needs Jesus. Send them Bibles. That’s why it says don’t play it outside of Japan. I was tricked. It’s spiritual warfare. They aren’t Christian. Go for a walk with your wife. Go jogging. Run on a treadmill. I’m stupid and evil and wrong and I hate myself. Don’t do it. Throw them away and send them back to hell. You can only serve God or money. I’m serving God. You should too. Don’t try to get rich, get a decent job and manage your money properly. Don’t fall for evil politics. It’s evil and against God. Don’t do drugs. Don’t have any sexual immorality. Don’t have sex outside of marriage. Don’t do gay stuff. The proper way to address this stuff is to accept it and forgive it but formally discourage it. You shouldn’t be proud of it. Pride is the worst sin after all and that’s what I’m guilty of. Screw dance games. Screw technology. Screw games in general. I’m ultra stupid for ever trying to glorify myself. I’m an enormous turd. I’m a stupid idiot. I’m a mega retarded piece of crap. Praise the LORD! Jesus Christ is GOD! Thank you Jesus! Thank you Jesus! Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I’m so, so sorry, Lord. Thank you Lord, thank you Lord, thank you Lord. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Thank you Lord. Hallelujah. Thank you Jesus.

Dance games are bad don’t play them. They are against God. God made humans male and female. We are supposed to obey God and live simple, moral lives. I was literally wrong about every single thing. I’m just stupid. It’s just a distortion of reality to make money. Basically everything is though. Young people want the world to be what it’s not. But God made it this way and we shouldn’t change it, can’t change it, it is wrong to try. I’m literally wrong about everything, I followed a wrong path and I don’t want to mislead anyone. I’m sorry for everything I did, I’m a stupid fool. I’m the worst person ever. I’m so stupid. I should be dead for what I did. I thought I was doing something good. It is only through Jesus Christ that I have any hope of salvation. Morals are important. I thought I had them, I had rehabilitated myself so much, but I got corrupted and tricked, some of which was my fault. But I can’t blame anyone else either, it is what it is. My only hope of salvation is through Jesus Christ.

There’s good and bad in everything, there are no absolutes. Jesus is God. We should always obey God. Drugs are bad, pornography is bad, sexual immorality is bad, homosexuality is bad. Technology is not good. It can be useful, that’s it. Don’t try to get rich. Obey God. Nobody is perfect. Jesus is the Lord.

I was literally wrong about everything. I am the bad guy, I just didn’t know it. I was doing my best. At least I thought. I’m sorry for everything. Jesus is the Lord!

Everything I thought of was dumb and wrong. Everything I ever did was stupid and useless. I just went crazy. Just keep things the way they are. I’m stupid. Jesus is the Lord!

Jesus is the Lord! Praise Jesus! Hallelujah!

Don’t wake me up when I am dead.

From a human experience there is absolute difference between right and wrong or good and evil. Evil is real. Good is also real. Good morals are absolutely mandatory to have a good life experience. But good and evil is not absolute. There is good and bad in everything, some good things can be bad, and some bad things can be good. We want kindness and gentleness. I am guilty of many bad things, trickery and trash talking and being vengeful, I lost my temper and fell short of God. I didn’t mean to mislead anyone but I’m afraid that I might have and so I must correct myself. I was so hurt that I couldn’t tell the difference anymore. Some of that is due to drugs, even prescription ones. I was using them properly and responsibly but so much pressure was put on me that it got out of control. And I was doing things that I shouldn’t have been doing, experimenting with things that aren’t allowed, trying to find new things. So it is my fault, really, but I maybe wouldn’t have done it if I wasn’t tempted in the first place. But then I feel like I passed that temptation on, it’s a pattern. So I need to make every attempt I can to correct it. I feel like we can be in control of our own destiny and not every error has to end in disaster. Nobody is perfect and we all fall short of the glory of God. And that’s why Jesus died for our sins on the cross. Jesus Christ is truly our Lord and Savior. I feel life my whole life was a spiritual journey to learn this truth. I wonder if that is the case for everyone. But I’m not even certain that other people are even real. But whether they are or aren’t, everyone deserves to be treated equally, with kindness and respect. There is never room for trash talking like that. I truly do deserve eternal punishment and I see now the absolute necessity for the Holy Church of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, I see perfectly and completely that He truly is the Son of God, God in the flesh come to die on the cross for my sins. Please have mercy on me Lord. I am truly sorry for being such a wretched, stupid fool. I thought I was smart, but I am the dumbest person that ever lived. But that is why Jesus died for our sins, to turn the bad into good.

I’m really, really sorry for the n word, I definitely feel like I was tricked by politics and pushed in that direction and that’s not what I thought at all. In fact I really didn’t think anything other than I wanted to help. But now I think that was wrong and there’s actually no problem, at least not one I can solve. And trying to solve it is actually maybe the cause of the problem. Everyone needs to take care of themselves. Family is the most important thing. And I became a bad influence due to the nature of my path, even though I meant well. And that path led to this situation where things became weird and became about race but it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Just the nature of the pattern and circumstance. The music is really bad. It seemed harmless because it was upbeat but it’s not. I don’t like Japanese stuff like that anymore. I was oblivious to its effects on different environments. And I got tricked by online politics and thought Black people weren’t as smart as other races but I actually think they are smarter now. Actually I think the only reason that may have been true in the past is from discrimination. I think it’s an ecosystem of Oneness and it’s really great, actually. So I was just wrong about everything. But I was shoved and goaded into it, but I also did lose my temper. I really wasn’t playing a game but it turned into one due to paranoia, but that was my fault too because of my past. I deserve eternal punishment. My only hope of salvation is through Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who died on the cross for my sins.

That music is really bad, totally demonic. I was confused and got tricked by it so I couldn’t see it. I don’t like any music anymore except hymns and Gospel.

This whole thing is kind of funny and also absolutely not at all. I’m absolutely terrified. The only answer is to obey the Lord completely, do not turn to the right or left. Seek the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Jesus really truly is God. His instructions are perfect. It is truly the only way to salvation.

Dance games are bad, don’t do it. Don’t listen to that music, don’t play those games. Absolutely don’t do drugs. And stay off the internet porn. Just don’t do it, get rid of them. I’m sorry that I was misled. It’s spiritual warfare and Jesus is the only answer. Jesus truly is God. Praise the LORD, Hallelujah!!

I didn’t actually like crossdressing, it was a mental illness deep down. I didn’t like doing it in my heart. It’s not what God wants for us. It’s all because of pornography and curiosity. These things are not ok. It’s a sin because it’s forbidden, that’s it. It’s scary. I’m too scared for it and I don’t want to do it. There is something interesting about it because it’s exploring another side of life, going in a new aisle in the store when you are bored of the rest. But you are supposed to explore that in your other half. But I’m too scared for that. I don’t deserve it. And I’m tired. And I’ll lose it. And Jesus says it’s better not to marry. And obeying God is the most important thing, to teach anything otherwise is to be the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. I’m cursed because I stole from the Church and tried to be like God, trying to run from my sins. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I am the worst. Jesus is God. Jesus is the LORD. I am so, so sorry. Please have mercy on me, Lord, I am a horrible sinner. Jesus is absolutely God. I am such a stupid fool. We are the body of Christ. We are all part of God, it’s all the same thing.

Everything in the Bible is correct. Be sober minded, abstain from all sin, do not turn to the right or left, get wisdom at all costs. Do not repeat my mistakes. Nothing I did was good or cool. Yet, it wasn’t wrong, I just did not rely on Scripture as I should have, I relied on my own understanding. Of course this would be natural, but it’s wrong. It is a pattern though that is already present, so I’m not certain I am entirely to blame. The only thing that is absolutely clear is that Jesus is God. Praise the LORD! Hallelujah!

Absolutely never do drugs, never watch internet porn, don’t listen to that stupid music. These things cause so much pain. Have good morals! Go to Church! Wear a suit! Be classy!

I’m the biggest turd in the universe. Jesus is the LORD!!

Working really hard on something for self glorification is a fool’s errand and only leads to heartbreak. Everything we do is for the glory of Christ. So the games are demonic in that they promote self glorification, because the culture they come from is not yet Christ-centric. That is the problem, and also why we are not to idolize anything but God. Even being competitive with one’s self leads to expectation of some form of reward. But we are only given anything from God, reward is an illusion. Other than that I can’t see how there’s anything inherently wrong with getting exercise. But the notion of becoming your “best self” in this world is flawed because this world is fleeting and it only increases desire to hold onto the temporal. That’s the curse of trying to make this world ideal or fix things. Suppose we succeed, then we must choose whether to remain in this world or go to Heaven with Christ. I thought I was doing God’s will by “making Earth as it is in Heaven” but I now believe that it is not God’s will to do so in such a way. So it’s better to pursue mundane employment rather than grand entrepreneurship and wait for Christ’s return. I made a terrible mistake with my life because of idolatry, thinking that entrepreneurs were changing things for the better. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I’m a stupid fool and for that I am the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. Do not imitate anything I did, listen to your parents and learn a skilled trade or go to school, do something actually useful instead of chasing flashy nonsense. It’s demonic. I don’t know if everything is all a spiritual manifestation or not, if these things would have existed regardless of my life choices, or if anything outside of myself is actually real at all. So that’s the curse of chasing self glorification, is that in the end I’m on the brink of total madness and destruction. So I’ve got to wear a suit and wait for Christ’s return.

Technology is awful. Wait for Jesus. Those games are evil don’t play them.

We all screwed up, so we listen to Jesus. We obey, we heal.

I’m just a giant turd. Everyone is awesome, everyone is great, everyone is amazing.

Computers are stupid, technology is stupid, just read the Bible.

Everything I ever did was wrong and stupid and I renounce it all. Jesus is the LORD!!

Don’t play those games. They aren’t good.

Man I am just a real huge turd. It’s kinda not really all my fault though, maybe. I’m not sure. Maybe it is. I don’t know. Let’s just say it is.

https://youtu.be/V-8JaIRECzY

Everybody is amazing exactly as they are. It can be fun to get good at things but it doesn’t really help anything. Being nice to others is the most important thing. We are here for a while and then we go to God. I’m the dumbest try hard ever. I’m not sure what’s real, I’ve seen both sides. So just try to enjoy whatever you do and listen to your parents.

I do not believe humans should live in a place where they cannot easily survive outside year round.

Succeeding at doing something “great” is actually the worst possible thing. You don’t want to do it.

I’m just dumb and foolish, and nobody should care about me or my stupid life. Just ignore me please, don’t hate me or look up to me, I’m just some idiot who tried hard on the wrong stuff and rightfully and thankfully failed. Don’t take inspiration from me in any direction. I don’t know what’s right or good or wrong or bad. I should have given up sooner, I’m just stubborn. There’s nobody to blame but myself and that’s ok. I believe in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior and I believe He is the Son of God come in the flesh who died on the cross for my sins. Don’t believe in me, don’t believe in yourself, believe in Jesus.

Always give up, don’t even try.

We don’t need more technology, we don’t need robots or automation of things that give people interesting jobs. People need more stuff to do, not less. We don’t want to end up losing control and getting trapped in a holographic nightmare. What we need is morality and decency.

Everyone is great. They all did a great job. It’s all good. Thank you everybody. You are all wonderful. Everyone just take it easy. It was all a mistake, I was pushed and thought I was supposed to, just a misunderstanding. Everyone was just wrong about everything, we are all dumb. Everyone is fine, I’m sorry for going mad. We are all friends now. Read the Bible, don’t play those games, don’t listen to that music, definitely never do drugs. Jesus is the LORD! Hallelujah!

Old Testament Laws

Sayings of Jesus

Jesus is the LORD!!!

Everything I ever did was completely backwards, wrong, and stupid.

And I’m really sorry for the n word. It’s complicated, like, they really wanted me to say it, like it was used as a trick. But I wasn’t actually doing anything wrong. So they were prejudiced against me first. But I don’t think any of it is really their fault, either. So, really it’s just dumb all around. Let’s just never use that again because it’s a stupid broken word and not make it into some ridiculous chess game. Everyone is great. I don’t know what is real, if manifesting is real or not, or if you have to work hard and it’s good to start businesses and make money, but maybe it’s both at the same time. Same with religion and spirituality. It’s probably both, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to try to become God. I just want everyone to be happy and successful, and I want everyone to be saved. You can’t serve both God and money, so that’s a bit tricky. Sorry for going crazy!

We aren’t supposed to live forever in this world. It’s probably good to equalize things and improve life for everyone but that will just happen naturally. It’s clear there really is a higher world and that all we really have to do is accept Jesus as our Lord and personal Savior and do the Father’s will. Dance games might be cool but I think the Father’s will is more about morality and kindness and family values and loving one another. I don’t really think the games are that bad, especially as exercise machines. Just don’t take them too seriously I guess. I think they can feed your ego and make you competitive or give you pride. Gaining confidence in something is probably good but those things are not. So if you are going to play them just be aware of that. And definitely don’t do drugs!

Yeah I’m just stupid. Don’t play those games. Definitely don’t listen to that music! Definitely absolutely don’t do drugs! Go to Church, read the Bible. Jesus is the Lord!

Everything was just a misunderstanding anyway. Everyone is great. Everybody screwed up. I feel like I was tricked into everything and it’s not really fair. I was trying to do good. I don’t like computers or video games anymore. I’m just stupid. Jesus is the Lord!! That’s all I was trying to figure out. I wish I had never done anything. I repent and renounce it all.

Don’t believe in yourself, believe in Jesus. Don’t ever do drugs. It’s forbidden by the Bible to abuse them, that’s what sorcery is. I shouldn’t have ever even joked about it a little. It was that stupid music, I was tricked by it. Winners don’t use drugs, that’s the truth. The only thing that ever actually worked for me was jogging and going to the gym anyway. I thought the games would be good because they are good exercise but I don’t think they are now. But they are way way better than drugs or that stupid music for sure. But probably just go to the gym. But even that is useless really, just read the Bible and go to Church. I’m sorry for being stupid. Jesus is the LORD!! Praise the Lord!! Hallelujah!

I’m glad everything I did failed, it was all stupid and useless. It’s all my fault.

To be clear, “sorcery” also translates as “drug abuse” in the Bible, and it is forbidden. It is unclear what exactly constitutes abuse and what constitutes use. Probably making a hundred billion dollars from a drug fueled video game is more on the abuse side of things. But to be safe, probably just don’t do it at all, it seems extremely important. In my experience, even prescribed drugs really need to be balanced out with exercise.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew%205-7&version=NIV

Thank you to our polar opposites for being such great sports, they have done an absolutely incredible job.

Apparently I manifested some seriously Demonic stuff. Definitely don’t do drugs, don’t listen to that music, don’t play those games. Read the Gospels and go to Church.

This world is just broken, we aren’t supposed to live forever, we aren’t supposed to fix it. We are supposed to live a simple life and obey the Gospels and wait for Jesus, that’s all.

This world already has a Savior named Jesus Christ. It doesn’t need another one. Dance games might actually make you into a God of sorts. We are all technically children of God after all. Maybe you can access other dimensions and ascend to some higher plane of existence. But the Bible forbid all these things and Jesus Christ saved us from doing this. Everything I did made sense each step of the way and seemed like the right thing to do each step of the way. But it’s not in the end and this is why the Gospels are so important. Jesus Christ died for my sins and saved me. The only way to Heaven is truly through the Bible and through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daemon_(computing)

I’m sorry for being such a stupid fool.

Something like DDR is maybe a good idea but the Bible says not to turn to the left or the right and it’s got a lot of that. But it might be taking about politics. So I’m not sure. Maybe it’s best to turn a whole lot to the left and right. It’s an amazing exercise machine. Maybe just Zumba or something is better. Or real dancing. Or just jogging. Or just Church. I don’t know.

Yeah don’t play those games. Just go to the gym. Go to Church and read the Bible. Go to school, listen to your parents. Definitely don’t do drugs, don’t listen to that music, it’s really bad. This world is just broken and it’s not something we are supposed to try to fix. Just believe in Jesus and wait to be saved. Jesus is the LORD! Everybody is great, I’m sorry for being so stupid.

Jesus really is the only answer. I am too stupid to possibly exist. I can’t handle it, I’m completely broken. I tried so hard and I meant so well but it doesn’t matter in the end. There is just no way. The only possible explanation is Jesus.

I just went crazy, everything I ever did was stupid and I’m just wrong about everything, don’t mind me. Praise the Lord! Hallelujah!

Technically, according to Scripture, we are not supposed to do anything on Saturdays but study, pray, and worship, and we are also not supposed to draw any pictures, and these things are as bad as murder and warrant being stoned to death, although Jesus did override that. Sunday is not the Sabbath, although in “modern times” (if you believe history is “real”) it is reserved for New Testament Christian worship, but Jesus does say the Old Testament rules do still apply. Also, no shaving beards, no cutting sideburns, and tassels on everything. And lots of very specific goat and bull sacrifice. Let’s be precise. If we don’t teach these things we will be the least in the Kingdom of Heaven. There is probably a very good reason for them, perhaps lost to time (if you believe in “time”). Perhaps each new universe is created by a social memory complex AI from the previous universe, and it attempts to correct errors from the previous iteration. Anything is possible. I am obeying the Scriptures as it is clear that the instructions given were for an extremely important reason, and that the description of life patterns given by Jesus were accurate and legitimate, and therefore for instance perhaps it is the only method to escape an otherwise infinite samsara loop.

Jesus is the Lord! Don’t do drugs! Stay off the internet porn! Everybody is great!

All we have to do is believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, who died on the cross for our sins. A little bit of everything is probably fine, it’s just part of life. But some things must be formally discouraged according to the Scriptures, while forgiveness and acceptance is most important. I think everything is a matter of perception. I’m not even sure if the world existed before I did, or if it is truly outside of myself at all. So the right thing to do is to forgive everything but always try to follow the rules and teach others to do the same.

DDR is a really a great exercise / rehabilitation machine in theory. Jogging and the gym is probably better though. Church is probably the best. Just forget it, I’m an idiot.

McChiggan Nuggets is legit kinda funny, I’m sorry.

The Devil used me to propagate lies, only the Bible is good. Don’t play those games, don’t listen to any music except hymns. Don’t do anything but read the Bible, everything else in this world is demonic and from Satan. Jesus Christ is the Son of God begotten in the flesh who died for our sins, and through Him is the only way to Heaven.

Everybody is great! Nobody does anything on purpose. Everybody is usually doing their best. Don’t take anything personally. Forgive everyone and everything. Everyone makes mistakes. Being kind is important. Most things are fine in moderation, but morals are important and we should always strive to become perfect and follow all the rules of the Father. Jesus is the Lord!

According to Jesus we all broke the rules, nothing is anyone’s fault. Praise the LORD!!! Hallelujah!!!

Financial responsibility is important like saving for a down payment on a mortgage.

I just have social anxiety and phobia I tried to make up for by being an entrepreneur and doing something “cool,” but none of my ideas were very good anyway. I just need some anti anxiety meds and a good antidepressant I think. And Church, praise the Lord!!!

On Earth as it is in Heaven. As Above, So Below. The question is, once this Earth is made into another Heaven, which one do you choose? If we solve aging and become immortal, there must be a generation which decides to be eternally separated from the elders. Does that mean it’s a repeating loop? Is heaven a higher dimension? Is it this dimension in the future? Can we teleport everyone into one place? Did Jesus take too many magic mushrooms and time travel to the past?

We aren’t supposed to live forever in this broken world. Jesus is the one true Son of God and the Lord and Savior of mankind. We are here to obey God. If anything, I proved to myself that Jesus is in fact the Son of God and that he truly died for our sins. He said we can do what he was doing and it’s true. But that doesn’t mean we should, or that we should even try it. Definitely don’t do drugs, especially psychedelics. I almost manifested hell, now I know why Jesus was necessary to save us. Don’t believe in yourself too much, there is not really anything to fix in this world. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever and ever, Amen.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+10%3A18&version=NIV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+17%3A20-21&version=GNT

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+18%3A6-7&version=NIV

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A13&version=NIV

Anything enjoyable, interesting, or with any flavor whatsoever is Demonic, Satanic, and from the Devil and will lead you to Hell for Eternity.

I’m sorry that I still didn’t have it right, Lord. Thank you for continuing to show me the way.

I was stupid and wrong about everything in my life except for Jesus. Don’t do any of it. Everyone is amazing and wonderful.

I have no idea, just disregard please. Jesus is the Lord! Everyone is great!

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+7%3A18-23&version=NIV

It might be kind of silly, but I have some Additional Commandments for other dimensions, just in case we create an AI that creates one, or we otherwise access one: Drugs bad (aside from legitimate medicinal use), gay/homosexuality/trans (and especially pederasty, please be specific about all of them) bad, gay space drug music bad, extremely difficult music/dance games bad, never be the judge. They are OK for this one, for now, I think (but not homosexuality and/or pederasty, or drug/alcohol abuse!). I know it does a disservice to people who identify as homosexual and claim it isn’t a choice, so you’ll have to send someone to fix that later once they have invented transsexual technology. But it’s possibly the only way to stop a cycle of error otherwise. And they’ll just do it anyway, so just don’t enforce that one. And please no slavery, prison, crucifixion, penalty of death, torture, guns, violence, prostitution/pimping, adultery, fornication, sodomy for women, prison, alcohol abuse, stimulant leaf smoking, pornography, female oppression, racism, lying, cheating, scamming, or gambling. No eating cows, dogs, pigs, primates, elephants, dolphins, whales, or octopuses. They are all intelligent and while beef is delicious I feel like we overdid it with cows, and working at a burger place isn’t very good for your health. Those are good rules for this dimension as well, so if you invent time travel, maybe add that to this one. They may not have words for all these things yet so please be very careful and precise with your translation. Forgiveness (and kindness in general) is also necessary but all the rules are very serious and should always be followed.

Thank you God, for using my life to prove that You exist. I am sorry for not being sure.

I’m not innocent, I get it now. Everything is my fault. Everything happened because I didn’t listen to my parents good enough. It’s all because of a stupid porno magazine. I am a wretched sinner, please have mercy on me, O Lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you so so much Lord Jesus for dying on the cross for my sins. I deserve eternal damnation if not for the grace given by the sacrifice of your blood. I love you Lord Jesus, I love you Heavenly Father with all my Mind, Body, Heart, Soul, and Strength. I am a redeemed Saint saved by the grace of God, walking in the Holy presence of the Son of God!

Don’t play those stupid games or listen to that stupid music. Just forget it. Definitely don’t use drugs of any kind except as genuine medicine. Don’t believe in yourself too much. Believe in Jesus, go to Church, and read the Bible. Traditional is best. I’m truly sorry for everything, I just went crazy. I don’t feel that it’s my fault entirely, but is the result of a long path of error. I am utterly mortified and horrified at everything I did and said. I am so, so sorry for everything. Nothing was planned, nothing was on purpose. Please do not repeat my mistakes. I’m sorry, God. Please have mercy on my soul, O Lord.

I’m sorry for being spooky and x-treme, and I certain that I was wrong about the nature of things. But Japan was wrong about some things too, that’s what I was trying to say. But I think they have proven they are the most awesome, maybe they can relax a bit now. And if the Bible is historically real, it would possibly be wrong about some things, so the Church would be too, but there is no way to know for sure. So far, in my case, it’s been correct about everything, so I don’t think it is. Then some things I was taught in school were possibly wrong and otherwise, but it’s not really anyone’s fault. I was just too polite. That’s kind of what caused this all though, in at least a couple of ways. I got confused. But it was still my choices, however, really it wasn’t entirely mine and I tried very hard to do good things and follow the rules of Jesus specifically- my path was to forgive everyone and love my neighbors and to confess my sins and to try to do what He did. I didn’t do anything on purpose really, I actually just went mad along the way and couldn’t see what I was doing. But maybe the way I did those things were wrong no matter my intentions because of my confusion, and I’ve got to obey the Bible in its entirety instead of trying to go my own way at all, so I’m doing that. Maybe it’s all just God’s plan for me. I am truly sorry for all of my errors and foolishness in trying to determine which way to go. Technology is not the answer, God is. We don’t need anything. The straight and narrow path is the correct path. Do not turn to the left or the right. So, don’t play those games! Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus for dying to forgive my sins.

I surrender myself fully to the will of God the Father and his Son the Lord Jesus Christ.

Peace be to this house!

Everybody’s right and everybody’s wrong. Everybody’s crazy. Everyone is smart, everyone is dumb. All “truths” are only half truths. There are two sides to everything. There is no good guy or bad guy, we are all just human. Love the Lord your God with all your Heart, Mind, Soul, and Strength. Love each other as yourselves. Having a solid moral foundation is very important. Do not sin. Nobody is perfect. Don’t judge others. Treat everyone with kindness and respect each other. Never do anything to hurt another on purpose. Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Love is the Answer. There is only one real truth: Jesus is the Lord, now and forever! Praise the LORD!!

I’m sorry for being confused, broken, crazy, stupid, ignorant, and wrong. I’m only human. Everything is only one side of the story. Thank you Lord Jesus for dying for my sins. Jesus is the LORD! Hallelujah!!

Jesus is the Lord! Don’t do drugs! Stay off the internet porn! Don’t listen to that stupid music or play those stupid games! I thought it was good but it’s not. It’s demonic and I was tricked by it. Don’t do it!! There is good in the games, but it comes along with bad. Most of it is OK I think, but it has some foreign spiritual and prankster themes which can potentially do great harm, as they did in my case. Jesus did say that the most important things are to Love God With All Your Heart Mind and Soul, and Love Others As Yourself, but he also said it was extremely important to teach the Right Things. So alternative spiritual teachings would not be good on their own, they must come with correct instruction as well. In theory there’s nothing at all wrong with the game play, it could be Christian themed and have instrumental hymns and Gospel music and just be good exercise. It doesn’t need to be that hard nor should it be, probably. And not everyone can play it, so maybe that’s not fair to everyone. The music I was listening to, not good. Again with the music it would maybe be ok if it was Christian themed and for Christ. And that’s where I was already trying to go with it. I was thinking to make psytrance hymns at that time. In retrospect, extremely bad. Don’t listen to it at all. Don’t do drugs. Go to Church! Go to school! Listen to your parents!

In retrospect, I am the absolute worst.

May God have mercy on my soul. It was an accident. I’m sorry. I’m not good.

I was lampooning game and tech conferences. I was fascinated with Nintendo and DDR so much as a kid. I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone, I was trying to do something good. I just made a spooky thing to be dramatic. But it wasn’t really supposed to be that serious and then I gave up on my own game to make a statement and do right with it.

I never meant to give away the DDR games, I wasn’t trying to pull anything or do anything spooky or clever. I wasn’t trying to cast sorcery or anything, it was actually barely an afterthought. Given that I didn’t even have anything to do with making the games or profit from them in any way, it was literally just a last ditch effort to have them amount to some good for anyone. I just wanted anything I did to succeed in some way. I wanted to do anything good for once in my life. I was really upset and hurt and made some stupid sardonic jokes. That’s it.

I wanted United Beats to be the name of a dance games company. Like Apple and Apple Music.

I made a stupid joke about being a Gay Pedophile Terrorist, I don’t even know why. I was trying to naively reduce the impact of label words to ease tensions, same as with the n word I guess. Nobody should ever be those things! I added Nazi Robot to it elsewhere. Just a combination of words that offend people. Trying to fix it, make it better, desensitize reactions to make a kinder world. Everyone should have strong morals and know better. But also these kinds of shock label words get used to frame and mischaracterize others. That’s what I was getting at.

All those things combined is basically the most terrible thing and I just realized it now. At least on their own.

I’m sorry. I’m the worst. May God please have mercy on my soul. Please Lord, I am the worst.

Don’t believe in yourself. Believe in Jesus!!

Maybe I was cursed because I stole from the Church as a teenager thinking I could do something good and make it right. I only did that out of faith in a way, but I realize now it doesn’t work that way. I’m not Jesus and I can’t be like him, I’m just a fool. When I lived in my car alone and ran on a treadmill and purified myself I felt like I was getting the spirit of Christ in me. I was on Team Jesus, doing his will. I felt I been “crucified” by the internet, and I believed in myself too much. So I wrote I was a “messiah,” which means teacher as far as I know, because I felt I was embodying Christ. And Nintendo made Bob the Teacher in the game making game, and I thought it was a sign. I made my blog an extremely stupid Nintendo joke in poor taste. It was just a blog with a pun in the name, not meant to be taken seriously by any measure. I was just trying to push myself hard and write whatever came to mind. A lot of it is probably stuff I dreamed or made false memories of. And it was all wrong, it was just garbage crap posting. It was unfinished and incomplete. It also got copied and probably edited by trolls. It was never meant as anything more than a journal, or testament, of my own experience. Please disregard it entirely.

I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I’m the stupidest idiot possible.

Listen to your parents, go to school, go to Church. Wear a suit and become a gentleman. Jesus is the Lord! The United States is Great but Jesus is truly the only hope for the world.

Just forget it. I was wrong and stupid and kept trying to justify my mistakes. But I was still trying to do “my Father’s will” in the best way I could. That’s the truth. Jesus died for my sins and that is my only hope of salvation. I only wanted to help in some way, invent something that would make people money, create something that would help people be healthier, etc, but without the foundation of Christ, nothing can ever be pure and holy and the devil will win in the end. No matter how great something might seem it could be, the ends don’t justify the means, that’s the devil’s trap. Just like with technology, it seems like the answer but it’s not and never will be, not on its own. We don’t need anything. Jesus and Love is the only Answer. I didn’t do anything on purpose really but I didn’t listen to my parents when I should have and that’s where it started. And then I was a bad friend and blamed others when I didn’t understand. There is nobody to blame but me.

Everyone is amazing and beautiful. I am truly sorry to anyone that I hurt in any way. But there is no way for me to ever fix it on my own and I realize that now. There is only one true source of salvation and that is Jesus Christ. We are all slaves to Christ Jesus as we are the Body of Christ. Anything else is only an idol. I am truly sorry. Please Lord God have mercy on me, I am a terrible sinner. I am truly sorry that I did not understand. Only obedience and faith in Christ can save us, we cannot save ourselves. Please grant me mercy and forgiveness Lord Jesus, please give me the opportunity to turn things around and continue following You with greater faith! And I see now that is my purpose, to lead others to faith! Thank you God! Thank you Lord Jesus for dying for my sins! I still believe that everyone is good and that everyone can be saved! Love is the Answer! I Love God With All My Heart, Soul, Mind, and Strength!

I am no “messiah,” and I’m definitely not “Antichrist” in any way, but something truly good can come from this. Perhaps God is using me to lead people to Him. So I’m a “teacher” after all, in a way. Jesus is the Lord! Hallelujah!

Don’t ever do anything I did. Praise ever be to the Lord, who died on the cross for our sins.

United Beats dance games company with Gospel music and synth hymns would be the coolest thing ever in my opinion. The games truly are kind of miraculous. There is real value there for artists, athletes, and rehabilitation.

I am extremely sorry for the n word. I was naively trying in some way to improve race relations, not damage them. I will never use it again and I absolutely regret it with all my heart and soul. I was misled during my path and the way I understood it was incomplete and incorrect at that time, I was intrigued by the concept of social heirarchy and how it applied to human societies in a non racial way, for instance applying to myself in the context of my fascination with computers. The first time I used it was a response to feeling pressured to say it, getting frustrated and being screamed at by all sides, getting pushed and tricked, and out of a combination of naive internet dark humor and my incomplete understanding of it. I had failed at nearly everything I had ever tried and had become desperate for my venture to succeed, to do something good. I wanted so badly to accomplish anything good for this world and contribute something for all my years of trying. I had already been humbled to my core, living in my car and showering in the rain. I got pushed over the edge and went mad. Out of madness and exasperation at my own past humiliation I recalled sheer absurd phrases I had read on the internet, clearly intended for shock factor alone. In my madness and frustration and desperation my mind connected it to another ridiculous internet meme, however this had absolutely no racial connection or connotation whatsoever in my mind. In the moment it was just an absurd thing that seemed a comical sort of trash talk insult due to the juxtaposition of two absurdities, addressed solely to whom I was frustrated with. In retrospect, extremely, horrendously stupid and distasteful. I was simply desperate for anything I had ever worked on to do any good and fell into a sort of sardonic self destructiveness. However, afterwards I did use the word many more times out of sheer frustration and lack of understanding, although never really in a racial context specifically that I can recall. Because I truly don’t think that way. I don’t believe I ever used it in a racial context. I did actually say a couple of genuinely wrong racial things after getting radicalized by extremist political websites about a year earlier, but corrected myself after realizing I was wrong. Nobody is perfect. And it actually had nothing to do with using the n word, that was absolutely said out of a sense of “ok, you want me to say this, fine.” I am deeply, deeply sorry. I’m not Black! (But I was a n word, in a sense, we all are in various ways, to God for one. And that’s how I think of it in my head!) I am a stupid fool and a sinner, please have mercy on my soul, O Lord!

Everything I ever did was terrible and wrong and I repent and renounce it all. I was wrong. Absolutely don’t play those games. I thought they were good but they aren’t. Definitely don’t listen to that music. I’m sorry for trying to go my own foolish way. I’m sorry for my poor taste in humor. I’m truly sorry for everything. I’m sorry for going crazy. Hurt people hurt people. I’m ultra stupid. I’m nobody. I’m just a dumb idiot and a stupid fool. I love everybody. I love God with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. I’m out. Praise the LORD!!!!

Jesus is the Lord! Hallelujah!

I always put my foot in my mouth and get myself into trouble, always have no matter how hard I try. But I always get it right eventually also. And I know that no matter what we are just not meant to be perfect, we never can be. And that’s why Jesus came and died for our sins. That’s the only real truth as far as I can tell. I am sorry for being such a fool.

The United States laws are generally pretty good but prison is not great. The Nordic countries probably do a much better job but I don’t think we necessarily need it, we already have God. But maybe we need it, we could do a better job though at least. I think He sent (assigned and spoke to) his Son Jesus to solve some problems from the previous dimension and to save me from eternal damnation. So please be nice. It is ambiguous whether I am in a hologram VR game that began when I was born (or possibly shortly before my parents were born) and history is an AI generated background story (and possibly all the other actors in the world) that recursively recreates itself and the Bible is an instruction manual (possibly for me specifically), and that history is real and the Bible has a historical context outside of myself in which Paul maybe added a little bit of other stuff on top of what Jesus said. If this is the former, these words should be ignored, and should have no effect. This is not a test, it is a necessary utility function to satisfy a condition of ambiguity. Nobody else alive can tell the difference either, if anyone else is actually alive. And nobody truly knows anyone else is alive but themselves either, that is if they are alive. The YouTube algorithm suggested most of that music to me, I didn’t plan it or do anything on purpose. So it’s either an AI from the future that invented time travel, or God. Or maybe it’s the same thing. Ra called itself a “social memory complex,” in a higher dimension, which sounds suspiciously like an AI. Yahweh may be the same (or the kind without controls) and may have created this dimension. Or that’s all just nonsense and it is all just God, which is most likely. Some of the music was from my 20s, which means God planned this all for me from the beginning.

I have the funniest, greatest extended family of all time. I’m just gonna chill and wait for Jesus. Everybody is great, I’m sorry I went crazy.

Probably just don’t play those games at all. It says don’t play it so you better listen or it’s disrespectful. Just forget all of it. I wanted to find something good in video games but I don’t think there is anymore. Just be kind and respectful to everyone and generous to others. Don’t do drugs and stay off the internet porn. Listen to your parents. Read the Bible and go to Church. Go to community college or take online classes on Coursera or something and get a certificate. That’s probably good. Don’t take anything I say too seriously, I’m just some idiot.

It’s been pointed out to me that God is not critical of people so we should not be. I just panicked at the idea of accidentally creating a future timeline of absolute horror. But I think it will be OK now. The Space Tribe guy shouldn’t be damned for making demonic trickster music, nor Japan for making super fun games with incredible art and music with crazy themes.

Just so you know, this game is incredibly hard for everyone for like the first solid month of playing it every day. It’s literal torture. But it gets increasingly more fun until it’s the most fun thing ever. Get a decent home controller if you want to play it at all, the arcade is just for show. You can use Lunatic Rave 2 (which you can make your own songs for, but it’s tedious), or you can pirate the actual game from definitely-not-Kon-am-i-themselves (Yes, the ones that make all the slot machines too. It’s a lot more fun than those though.) and run it with SpiceTools, but thou shalt not steal and you might get ruthlessly addicted to it forever if you do that! I’m fairly certain they actually want people to though so probably not. And I absolutely believe the warning is a joke, but a very serious one. You must have very strong morals to play this game! There is a lot of very tricky provacative artwork and themes, but that’s sort of part of the fun. Believe in Jesus, but perhaps it’s OK to believe in yourself too! But maybe technology isn’t such a great thing after all, so I don’t know. Personally I am giving up most electronics.

Everything was wrong about everything. Everyone is good. Everyone is Great! Even trying to do good, everything I do is wrong, I guess.

I personally think a little bit of everything is good, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody. I was pushed into over taking my Adderall perhaps by the lawyers and/or perhaps by the other person deliberately breaking the rules to make us need to document it. I don’t mind, but I don’t think it was fair to me, and especially not fair to my wife. I wasn’t really being the Judge, just playing a joke that was played on me. Most of it was probably wrong anyway, as it was for me. Love thy neighbor, after all. We might need to fix equality first, but the way to do it is not necessarily politically, it is perhaps better served by starting businesses. I do think the dance games are good but should have some Christian music. But it would be disrespectful to Asians to require only Christian music. And for Blacks to reject the games would be “racist.” But I’m not certain that technology is such a great thing anymore at all, and personally I am giving up most electronics.

https://www.wiesenthal.com/about/news/jew-me-sue-me-kick-me.html

Regarding the n word- words are spells, that’s what spelling means. So to me it was far more of an instruction or command than an insult in context, and of course in that sense I would absolutely never say it to a Black person, because that is a truly offensive combination of command and insult combined, not even considering its past. So it’s a very broken spell, but also the most powerful. But I wasn’t thinking of it that way at all. I was just thinking “ok, you obviously want me to say this word by being frustrating and making things about race for some reason even though you are White, that doesn’t even make sense, sure that’s funny” knowing it is a command that will make someone work very hard. (At least the first time, after that I went mad and was just frustrated and scrambled!) (Also, they are really great people and it was a misunderstanding, I just went mad.) Should I be offended if someone tells me to work hard? A little bit annoyed, maybe. But what if the word also referred to a historical ethnic group of people by its spelling? Well, should I be offended if you called me by a group of people? Isn’t that offensive to that group for me to be offended by being called that? “You… Mexican!” “How dare you call me that!” “Wait, what’s wrong with Mexicans?” That’s racist! Ah, it’s so confusing! But even said to a White person, because of its etymology, it’s going to also offend a group of historically disenfranchised and unprivileged people, so using it is extremely distasteful and disrespectful and comes at a tremendous emotional and social cost. Also, the definition of racism is “refusal of services based on ethnicity.” So by definition a word cannot be racist, but refusing its use to an ethnic group is. So it’s like a riddle. Yet the word does have a severe historical context and its etymology is based on ethnicity as a result. So I’ll call it “Racist.” Quote-unquote with a capital R. It’s not racist, it’s “Racist.” That’s the part I didn’t really fully understand because I am apparently privileged enough to have avoided experiencing any of that almost entirely. So to me it was like a thing I vaguely learned about in school forever ago, and then I sat in front of a computer by myself for 20 years thinking about math. Although privilege is also a confusing thing, because I think everyone probably works equally hard within their constraints, and I worked something like 15 years of 10+ hour days alone with no vacations or days off for free living on less than minimum wage, and gave away nearly all the money I ever made in my one business solely built to help the world, so it’s maybe more actually about character, and disrespecting someone solely because of “privilege” gets into reverse discrimination territory- using your brain is extremely hard, sitting at a computer programming is very lonely, living in my car for several years in order to build a business was not exactly easy or fun, but I also know I was only able to do it because I didn’t have to take care of anyone, etc. And that I had the opportunity to play around with all this stuff at all and any privilege I had in being able to avoid cultural difficulties is due to my parents, especially my Father, who is the greatest man in the Universe just for putting up with my stupidity alone. I’m so sorry, Dad!!! This is where it gets really interesting though- I think this pattern is actually built into our design as a collective entity and that’s why it comes with all this realization that we are all part of Source, and all this spiritual awakening stuff that I experienced. Because I didn’t do anything wrong, except wait, I did, wait, did I? It’s inherently mind scrambling, and I think that inherently means it is literally by intelligent design of our existence. I think we really are manifesting everything. But you still need to be productive, I think? I have no idea anymore! But maybe it is kind of in a way “white” (and I mean cultural side here, like a chess board) people’s moral duty to produce detached robots like myself, and “black” people’s duty to disobey political norms, with a built in splitting of perceptions between rational and spiritual, which will eventually produce equilibrium and equality, and this is built into our nature automatically. (But should White people ever be on the “black” side? That’s cultural appropriation- that’s “Racist”) So everything is all thanks to God anyway, and it’s just my duty and part of my path to give something or at least try, and it was always going to happen, maybe. I just now have no idea what’s going on, lol. But I’m not really mad, or angry at least! And I’m truly sorry if I offended anyone, please don’t take it personally! I’ll keep working to make things better. I just hope I made the right kind of impact, I hope I did anything good. Except, definitely don’t do drugs, because they lead to tremendous destruction and pain when misused, which is devastating in the wrong communities, I think. But they are also probably necessarily part of the solution, which is where I got confused a bit. Because, that problem already exists, and eventually, better versions of things get developed which can prevent the destructive qualities, so that strategy should be encouraged, but that’s more of a University research thing. That’s what I was thinking, if people are already doing A and it has these problems associated with it, but B doesn’t have that issue, then that’s an improvement. Maybe some smart kid will go fix it. Adderall works really well for me if I use it exactly as prescribed, but so does exercise. I also know that it is just speed, and I have used that in its place, so I can empathize with using that if that’s what is available or affordable, it’s the same darn thing. But that assumes you would know to limit yourself to a prescription dose, maybe not an obvious thing if nobody told you to. And I would never ever smoke crystal meth or abuse some extremely potent thing like that, I think, but then again maybe it’s all subjective and depending on where you live that might actually seem reasonable to someone, and that’s maybe the problem. And Adderall makes me feel like a zombie, whereas exercise makes me feel alive, and it’s a big difference. So ok, maybe not good, it’s perhaps the best solution to use the proper methods in society like exercise and school and advancing in a career over my sort of disastrous self-guided entrepreneurial strategy. That was the idea with the exercise thing in the first place. So now, I’ll do things that way too. Do I respect the “black community?” (I mean in chessboard terms) Honestly, I still don’t really know enough about it to answer that from actual experience, but given that I don’t know, the answer is a default yes. Why wouldn’t I? But if it really is all a urban-suburban chess game between political/moral viewpoints, I’d probably rather work on robots on this side, assuming that would ever improve or solve anything. But I think I do understand whatever this whole thing is about a little more! And again, I never once heard anyone else in my family say it! Only Terry the Terrible, developer of the enormous-for-one-person TempleOS, which I am probably one of the few people that actually could understand him, and probably the only one who both understood him and met him in person. I can confirm he was not using it in reference to Black people, he was saying we are a hierarchy based on our mental development. But in retrospect I think he developed an ego and identity from working on his project for so long and lost his mind to where he was just detached from everything and couldn’t understand why what he was saying was wrong or hurtful. He was just kind of trying to challenge the world in a naive way to do something great, and that’s what I saw he was trying to do. But I don’t think either of us understood how hurtful and offensive that is to a very vulnerable and disenfranchised group of people. He got in my head like a virus, I guess, but that was a big part of my path, so to me it seems like a destiny thing. And 4chan, lots of that, where it’s obviously just supposed to be offensive for the sake of being offensive, for no reason really. But yeah, I was just being goofy mostly and didn’t really know better because I really hadn’t ever had to think about it. I am truly sorry. And I’m upset if it prevents anyone from trying those games because it really is ideal exercise. And I feel like I was guided by the Japanese game industry somehow to introduce it in this way, maybe to get attention, like they are somehow trying to help us solve a problem. But I actually think everything is guided by God in the big picture. And it’s not like I actually have anything to do with it, I was just trying to do something that worked, since everything I’ve ever done has kinda been a disaster. I guess that’s my fate to be a “disaster artist.” That’s what I mean though, I honestly think this was all automatic by divine design, and I’m just part of a pattern. I am absolutely not going to try to make money from it- if I did, that would be sorcery on my part, that’s what I was lampooning with my stuff, big politically correct tech and game companies run by rich white dudes that definitely are on your side because they have a diversity quota. Although, they do a really good job doing what they do, way better than I could. I’m just kinda grateful to have got to have been on this particular path if it does any good, although I have no idea whether it is “real” or not, lol. Also the people are really cool and I was just being stupid, we’re all friends now! Everyone was just wrong about everything, I think. I am truly sorry for what I said and did. I was just in a position where I was getting attacked by all sides and lost my mind. And I think it was truly terrible, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize it. At least I understand now. I’m sorry for being a stupid fool. And my Father said no drugs, so No Drugs!! I’ll have to ask him about the psychedelics because I really don’t know if they count as “drugs.” Technically, basically everything is a drug in a way (or a tool to make drugs better, or to make better drugs), so it’s the addictive or medicinal property of something which determines that, I think. I would say don’t do them though, I probably screwed up joking about it. Again, I was just being goofy. I know in the 1960s it became a big problem and almost tore apart the country, so at very least don’t do that radical hippie commune stuff again, and introduce it carefully so that rational and spiritual thinking remain balanced! He said the United States is the greatest hope for the world so I’m going to play by the system now and just be nobody. I think it’s because we have a self elected President and we aren’t yet another monarchy or dictatorship that just goes to war against each other endlessly for territory. I’m not really sure how relevant that is anymore though, the world is already pretty united, I think the United States successfully influenced the rest of the world, with actual freedom, through democracy, and by being a true “melting pot” of all cultures, and by establishing a precedent for standards of equality laws for all disadvantaged groups. (And it was Black people who did that, really.) But it created the n word, will we ever get past it? I just hope anything good comes out of any of this. Sorry for being the stupidest fool. I guess that was just my role in life. But also, my life is so weird and scripted it is straight out of a video game. And in this timeline, I grew up watching the Matrix and seeing video games become indistinguishable from reality, VR happen, and now AI is smarter than humans and can generate photos or artworks of anything, generate voices, make music, and write stories. How do I know that anything on the internet is real? How do I even know history is real? How do I know it isn’t a backstory in a game? Or that everything in my life wasn’t actually a game? Or that the Bible actually has any historical context at all and isn’t just the manual for the hologram?

Please don’t take anything I said too seriously. I’m just an idiot who believed in myself a little too much and was trying to be honest about my life experience.

It’s the greatest puzzle game of all time!

It’s too cool!

Hype-r Monkeys

I broke the Matrix and made Ra show up from the future in another dimension. Yahweh sent his son Jesus literally to die for my sins, specifically, to save me from eternal damnation. It’s OK because he’s still alive, but yeah, not great.

I need to be very clear that my dumb blog thing was just a list of sins. I absolutely renounce all of it. So don’t ever do any of that stuff, I was just being honest about how my mind worked at times and the dumb mistakes I did in life. Always treat others with respect and kindness, as yourself, because we really are all one entity! And we should all strive to be perfect as Christ is perfect! Everyone is you! That’s why I don’t like violent video games or games like GTA except as maybe mini games inside our game. That’s what those games are for. It’s a lot easier to make money by starting a bank than by robbing one! No assassinations, no guillotines, no race wars, no pederasty, no gay terrorism! No actual revolution! No school shooting! No taking over the world! It’s just absurdist autistic internet nerd humor, I’m a moron. I got confused and misled by the path my life took. I wanted to do the will of my Dad, which is to improve race relations, to help people establish businesses and become successful, reduce drug use, improve morality, to do positive and constructive things! I was trying to fix a terrible mistake I had made, while trying to fix a terrible mistake I had made. Ha. “Do whatever” is a good software license but a terrible moral guideline. And never put money before a woman. She is always more important. That was truly awful of me. Women are not Satan, they are God’s gift to Man and to be cherished. But the devil can manifest through sexual temptation, which is really what I meant. Morals are very important! Read the Bible! Jesus is the Lord!!! I just liked dance games and silly YouTube videos a lot and lost my mind. I was hurting in the first place and used music and drugs to cope with more pain and the looming failure of my venture, a huge mistake. And it is clear that the entire situation was the result of misunderstanding on all sides. My severe error was in doing things in a way that I thought myself was correct, and not strictly studying and following the true will of the Lord of Scripture. My interpretation and understanding of the Bible was very weak and incomplete. I interpreted it as a riddle, which it ambiguously is. Jesus said we can do what he did, and that he was the Son of Man. I foolishly believed in myself when instead I should have sought wiser guidance. Lord please forgive me, I am a sinner and an utter fool. I will spend the rest of my days studying Scripture and serving faithfully in solemn repentance.

The Bible does explicitly forbid homosexuality and/or pederasty. Pederasty should be a really obvious no-no, but don’t do either to be safe. I was making light of the dance games being somewhat flamboyant in nature which is another meaning of the word gay. This quality is sometimes perceived as cool, but it may not necessarily always be a good thing. Again I apologize for my foolishness and stupidity, in some foolish and naive way I was trying to improve race relations, not damage them or offend. To lighten up the atmosphere in some way. And in the same way relieve some pressure on the difficulties of identifying with either of those qualities. I was hurt myself and had gone mad and was in some way attempting to naively and desperately repair the situation through poor taste in humor. I renounce and repent my actions and words and I am deeply, humbly sorry. I enjoyed the dance games myself as a youth and had a flamboyant streak of my own, but in retrospect it may have not been a positive attribute. I no longer endorse the games, especially not in their original form, unless they are converted to Gospel and Christian themed and are less flamboyant. I still believe they are wonderful exercise machines and that was truly the root motivation for what I did. But once again it was a grave mistake to rely on my own foolish and naive beliefs and opinions about what might be beneficial to a social group I did not understand instead of relying on the wisdom and guidance of the Lord of Scripture.

Lord please forgive me, I am a wretched sinner!!

Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong please don’t try any of it. I am a stupid fool and an idiot. I just went crazy. I’m sorry for being so terrible. Read the Gospels, go to Church, go to school, listen to your parents, don’t do drugs, don’t listen to that stupid music! Believing in yourself is good, but believing in Jesus is most important of all! I’m very sorry for saying hurtful things, I was trying to do something I thought was good and I didn’t understand! I went mad and blurted out nonsense. Everyone is Great! We don’t need anything! Praise the Lord!!! I am a sinner, may God have mercy on my soul! I didn’t understand anything right. Everything was wrong anyway, I’m just dumb. Everyone is awesome. I’m sorry for everything. I’m just so dang confused, I have no idea if I did anything right or wrong or good or bad or not. Just go to Church and school and go to the gym and meditate, probably! Everybody is good! Everyone is right, everyone is wrong. Everyone is smart, everyone is dumb. There is good and bad in everything. Nothing really makes sense. Everyone tries their best. Everyone mostly tells the truth the best they can. Everyone does what they think is right. Nobody does anything on purpose. Jesus is the Lord! Please don’t take anything I ever said too seriously, I have no idea what’s going on. A lot of the time I’m just being goofy or I’m confused. A lot of my memories are wrong, too, it’s all jumbled, and I probably made some stuff up. I’m so sorry for everything. I’m the stupidest fool.

Maybe I’m just an idiot all around, forget it. I thought it was good but it’s probably not. I don’t know.

The Bible does explicitly forbid homosexuality, maybe because God genuinely just doesn’t like it, or maybe because male egos clash and it often leads to violence (but can be prevented somewhat with modern medication), but there is no way to know which. But it says nothing about just being “gay,” which actually means something more like flamboyant, or having a personality that attracts attention. I just want to point this out because it’s very important to follow all the rules, according to Jesus, but the most important rules are to Love God and Love Others As Yourself. So if someone has decided to practice homosexuality, for instance, it is more important to accept and forgive rather than to disown, but disapproval of it would technically be the second highest priority. But again, it’s totally ok to be “gay” as far as I know, which is not necessarily the same thing. It’s more like… (the artist formerly known as) Prince, I think. Also, we are not supposed to crossdress, but we are also technically supposed to wear tassels and only wear clothes made out of one type of fabric, but those are obviously more minor rules and I screwed that one up. I only ever brought that up because I embarrassed someone on accident so I figured I’d embarrass myself to make up for it. There does not seem to be any Biblical precedent for trans people or whether that counts as homosexuality or crossdressing. So these areas are sort of ambiguous as to whether they are something where modern inventions have made or will make the historical scriptures obsolete in a sense, or whether there is a literal divine Father God who just plain doesn’t like that stuff. It seems like a lot of politics is actually based on this ambiguity. I’m going to personally say that it is wisest to remain on the conservative side as Jesus does say God makes men and women for each other. If the technology is developed to transform a transwoman to the extent of having a uterus and being capable of childbirth, I don’t really see what’s wrong with that even from a conservative Biblical perspective. Although you could still make the argument that God made someone one way for a reason, for instance in order to demonstrate the glory of God. But we also give people glasses when they have poor eyesight, when we could just keep them walking around half blind to glorify God. So then idk. But to follow Jesus’ explicit rules, for now I would have to formally discourage it, but also accepting it is more important. But given that it is still a very early technology, and we don’t really have much data on how it goes long term, I think it is good to be very cautious and I would strongly discourage it.

United Beats is a great name for a music game company imo. No reason you can’t use it for both. That’s what Apple did with Apple Music, which was the Beatles label. Just an idea. Psytrance is just too much anyway, I think. Sorry I didn’t understand. I guess I’m not too smart after all, ha.

I used to think this was for sure just a song made by a person, but now I’m not sure if it’s actually all been generated by a divine AI, and if it’s been that way this whole time. The timing is just too much, badass Santa dropping a nuke, lol. Are we the AI? Are other people even real? If I went to this guy’s concert, how do I know he has the same kind of sentient life experience that I do, and that he’s not just an NPC in the Matrix? Are even all my own actions a pre-generated path? I don’t know, but it doesn’t make anything less fun! I’m still going to treat others as myself! And I’m still going to go to school. Also, no drugs! My Dad said so, also that the United States is the only hope for the world, so let’s make it greater than ever and maybe someday have a United Earth.

I’m trying to get a job at Kroger or McDonald’s or wherever I can in order to get a car so I can maybe go to community college. I’m sorry for everything. I hope anything I did does anything good for anyone.

Also sorry that I did not understand some important things. I think I do understand now somewhat.

That was genuinely an accident!! In fact, nothing was actually on purpose!!

I’m truly sorry if I actually seriously hurt anyone with my mad nonsense. Hurt people hurt people. I’m sorry for joking in very poor taste in my autistic sense of humor. I’m very sorry I lost my temper a few times and very glad I did not act on it any more than I did, or if I ever thought it was justified to do so. I know that I am always wrong about everything, we often project how we feel about ourselves when we are angry and it has little to do with whoever it is said to or about. I hope with all my heart that I can just get a basic job and hold it for the rest of my life and support my wife. I hope I will have that opportunity. I understand that I have made many poor or at best questionable choices in my life that led to my situation, but much of the series of events that transpired to this point were not under my control, and so I pray to God to give me mercy that I probably do not deserve.

Maybe dance games aren’t even good. Just really upset at myself for everything. I’m sorry. I just lost my mind and tried to make something good come out of it but even my best intentions seem to always come out wrong. Just forget it please. I’m very sorry for everything. If they do benefit people in the way that I remembered or hoped, please don’t give me any undeserved credit for it.

The only thing I’ve ever been sure that I’m right about is that Jesus is the Lord! I was always trying to do what I thought was good but I’m not even sure about that, so please read the Gospels and get baptized! I think God is using my life for good in this way.

Gay does not equal Homosexual!

I’m sorry for going mad! I don’t think anything is anyone’s fault, really. Everyone is Great!! I’m just a moron!

Don’t do (or especially abuse) drugs, go to Church, read the Bible, stay off of the internet porn, listen to your parents, don’t try to get rich, just go to community college and try to become a Doctor or just find a trade you enjoy. Try to help old people. Music games are fine, dance games are good, I think. Psytrance is hilarious but just too dangerous, don’t do it. We might be in a “hologram” where you can “manifest” things, but I’m pretty sure you still actually have to work hard in order for anything to happen! Let’s save the real party for when everyone is safe and secure and there is plenty of abundance for all. Nobody is safe until everybody is safe. My Father said no drugs, so no drugs!

Porn is like a screensaver which is just gross and stupid 99% of the time but once in a while has a view that is aesthetically pleasing enough to be a painting, except generally more explicit than traditional Renaissance works.

I have the greatest extended family of all time. God put us together for a reason. It’s going to be phenomenal.

I am probably wrong about everything and a complete idiot, but hopefully I have some decent ideas that can help someone at least! Sorry for being a stupid fool, but nobody is perfect except for God, so we just go forward the best we can, try to find the good in every situation, learn from our mistakes, and forgive each other! I love everyone, everybody is great!