Jesus is LORD! Stay off all porn absolutely, absolutely never ever ever do drugs, don’t drink much alcohol, stay in school, go to Church, read the Bible, play golf, listen to jazz or gospel, read Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those games. Everybody’s great!! Just go to Church!! Well I don’t know. I’m extremely stupid actually. I tried really hard at something dumb and the wrong thing. It was all sort of an accident though. Everybody is really great. We are all just a bunch of idiots. Man I love my family. All of them!! Well that’s probably the whole Earth. We are all at least a little bit “mentally challenged” in our own way, I think. I was wrong about everything I guess. Oh well that’s how’s it goes. We are all stupid sometimes. Don’t listen to me, listen to your parents, listen to your teachers, above all listen to God! Everyone is fine, everything is fine. I am just a stupid fool and a crazy idiot, don’t mind me. I am probably one of the dumbest people that ever lived. Well It seems that nearly my entire life has possibly been an illusion caused by a tremendously grave error on my part. What an absolutely outrageously tremendous fool I am. I am a miserable, horrible, extraordinarily wretched sinner. It turns out that I am in fact an absolutely horrific, terrible person. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. We are ONLY saved through GRACE by the indescribable unfathomably generous gift of the Precious Blood of Jesus Christ the Son of God, Our One and Only LORD and Savior, God Almighty come in the flesh to die for our sins. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever! GLORY forever be to God Almighty! GLORY forever be to His HOLY name! Alleluia! Christ is RISEN! We are REDEEMED by the infinite Grace of the sacrifice of Our LORD Jesus Christ! Be more conservative, more aspects of liberal politics are evil. But also try not to judge it. Really I think both are part of a pattern. But if you have a choice, it’s much wiser to be conservative. It is understandable why people in competitive and difficult situations tend to turn towards liberal values since they need outlets for stress and are vulnerable to temptation, but they will probably regret it later. These things prey on the weak and trick them into unnatural or embarrassing or addictive things which compromise them and tend to keep them confined to certain peer groups. That’s evil. You can’t break God’s laws without consequences. Usually it’s just shame over being judged by others and feeling guilty, but this matters because people need to trust you and people tend to get jealous or insecure easily, especially over anything involving sex and money. Conservative values are inherently protective and lend themselves to very strong long term commitments and partnerships. Life can be very hard and people can be very competitive so these things are extremely important. Appearances do tend to matter, although they shouldn’t. Reputation is difficult to repair although it also shouldn’t matter, it does because everyone is at a different state in their own development process. You definitely don’t ever want to lie about anything, and you can be sure that God sees everything. Of course nobody should really care what adults do in private as long as it doesn’t affect anyone else, but that’s trickier than it seems. Not everything is good for you and some things have subtle long term effects. God’s rules are there for a reason. When the world is a perfect utopia and everyone is perfectly equal and secure then maybe everyone can do everything they want. The only possibility of that happening that I can tell would be in a completed version of this realm with the technology to make everyone perfectly equal. That’s a pretty scary idea to have technology that powerful though, especially since we are kinda dumb monkeys prone to all sorts of stupid mistakes. Actually I kind of doubt technology is really going to make life much better and it’s mostly more dangerous than useful. For everything pleasurable in this world you have to go through something painful. It’s nice to have YouTube on my phone but now I’m tired from laying down and bored from watching it too much. It all balances out. So it’s definitely best to keep things neutral as much as possible. Some things are probably good. It’s probably good to cure diseases and stuff. Well, maybe, or maybe there’s actually not any point to it since we are not supposed to consider this our real life. Establishing equality and fairness is good, but maybe just not possible in this realm. Still we should try to balance things out as much as possible. I think God already does though. God’s laws are supreme and divine. It is all true. It mostly starts with people taking care of themselves and their own families. Everyone should have a comfortable and peaceful home. I don’t think we really need to go to space or teleport stuff or time travel, that’s all pretty scary. Remember we are not supposed to consider this the actual world so don’t get too caught up in trying to fix this one. Until then we are here to work, so save it for the next life as much as you can. If you make a mistake own up to it. Be sure everything you do will be known. Just try not to hurt people. And try not to be so hurt by stuff. Suck it up buttercup. Leave it to God. It works. There are a lot of temptations out there and making mistakes is natural. Life is a learning process. Curiosity is normal and nobody is perfect. There’s not a single good person. Lots of people are always looking for anything anyone is doing wrong. But it’s actually impossible to be perfect your whole life. People are generally forgiving if you apologize and correct yourself and don’t continue to make mistakes. Seek God’s Kingdom first and above all. Try to eat natural stuff and exercise modestly. Although there is something to be said about testing your limits and being your best, but it’s not wise to burn yourself out or develop long term injuries. And some developments are interesting, like sugar substitutes, but maybe we just aren’t meant to be playing God with nature and it’s a dangerous trajectory in the long run. Probably don’t be too hard on yourself either way. Don’t work too hard on anything for too long or you might go mad and forget what it was like to start at the beginning. Especially keep reading the Bible. Absolutely do not play those games or listen to that music, ever. Electronic music is annoying and lame. Stay away from technology in general as much as possible. The music and themes are really bad. It’s the absolute worst. Especially the psytrance music. It seemed like it was funny but it’s not at all, it’s a demonic trick. Well, maybe. Most likely. Then again demonic really just seems to mean it carries a spirit or theme. That’s the problem with it. It’s a jester spirit that you can just never tell if it’s joking or not. You’re going to hell, just kidding! It’s not ok, it’s terrifying. It’s used as a vehicle for demonic and ungodly themes and it becomes truly terrifying. The music label has Shiva the Hindu “deity” of destruction and a spiral into the void. I don’t think the God of Israel (the only living God) approves of that. Well, unless it’s actually all the same entity under different names or something. The problem is there is no way to know and there never will be. All we know is we are in some sort of spiritual hologram stuck in some sort of time loop and some supernatural being calling itself God had to intervene for a very good reason. Just don’t do it. And Jesus said that loving God with all your being is the most important thing, followed by loving others as yourself. This seems to be due to the ambiguity of the greatest commandment. However it is crucial to note that the first interpretation of the Lord is One God gets priority over the second that God is One. So loving God, and possibly following God’s commands, is considered slightly more important than loving others. But loving others takes priority over punishment, when it is meant for people’s benefit, like working on the Sabbath, or helping others with things meant for God. And well the games say don’t play it outside of Japan. I should have obeyed the warning anyway so that’s my fault. Most likely it’s actually just due to delicate cultural differences and an understanding that it might cause trouble through misunderstanding. I shouldn’t assume anything. But even the simple statement “Stay Cool!” on the dance pads can be taken as seeming extremely ominous from a certain perspective. Will I need to “stay cool” because I am doomed to hell? Unfortunately, there is simply no way to know for certain. Of course I always just took it as meaning dancing is cool, or to stay youthful in attitude. But perhaps neither is very wise for a middle aged man with a sketchy history. Or maybe neither things are wise at all, really. Well, maybe it’s ok if people can make money from it and use it for positive things like gospel music. I don’t know. The more I think about it, the less certain I am that I actually know anything for absolute certain. Since there is a clear supernatural pattern to the things I experienced in life, that makes it just as likely that none of it was real, and I may have manifested it inadvertently all along. All I can truly know for certain is that “I think therefore I am.” Since it is so terribly difficult to determine with total certainty that which is absolutely good, and since the more stressed we become the more paranoid we can become about the intended meaning of even small details, then that makes sense that the most important thing of all when it comes down to it would be the ability or sense to discern and refine that which is truly pure and “holy”, or truly from God, perhaps in other words the Holy Spirit. And it seems that the more novel and attractive something is the less certain we are that it is from God, since that attraction is a force of external manipulation. Even the smallest paranoia can become magnified into sheer terror when it comes to concepts like eternity. Jesus does make it clear that forgiveness is a holy concept. Well, if Japan is real in any sense other than a place I made up in my head then either way they are our brothers too. Jesus says to carry a soldier’s pack two miles. I think in some way I carried their themes as far as was possible, because I believed in it and I believed it was good at the time. Maybe they will see that and appreciate it and maybe even do the same. Because certainly they would have the same sort of difficulty with fully trusting another culture, especially one that supposedly attacked them in the past. So hopefully this will help out Japan turning to Christ. I’m certain that would only be a good thing. Maybe it will even help out the United States turning to Christ even more. We are after all quite politically divided these days and that’s something Christ mentions won’t be able to stand. Anyway I’ll have to read the Bible more regardless to try and figure it out. I might actually be understanding that completely wrong. So my idea with the games was not a good idea and it’s not good. I am extremely sorry. For one thing it has some gender bending themes which God doesn’t like. I sort of understand that side of things and the arguments for it, but God flat out says no and there’s just no getting around that. I can understand that because it doesn’t seem like a holy arrangement made by God to create a strong family, it may be more based in sexuality than long term commitment. That’s a difficult topic, it’s embarrassing for one thing, and the viewpoints on it are so widely different. People get jealous, they get hurt, they get ashamed, and it’s messing with the holiest and most serious and terrifying processes of life, which also is probably the most major source of spiritual motivation and energy to build a livelihood. Taking it lightly or casually is a grave error and very well may be outright evil. On the other hand, I understand to some extent why people fall into temptation, escapism and vice as a means to deal with emotional difficulty. I’m sure I wasn’t the first person in history to get addicted to pornography and do lots of stupid and gross stuff along the way. Actually I can’t really be sure of that because I can’t actually know for certain that other people are even real anymore. I don’t mind being an example of a terrible fool if it makes other people feel less dumb about their own shameful mistakes. But I certainly don’t want to justify anyone taking that path or mislead anyone in any way. I thought the game was helpful to me because I thought it made me stronger and more able to compete in what I thought was a competitive world. But I’m not sure the world I thought was so competitive was actually real at all. I think I may have made it that way in my head through the errors I made and the entire journey was an illusion all along. So I absolutely think the wisest thing for everyone to do would be to obey God and stick with the Bible. And I regret accidentally contributing something more to what I thought was an already messed up world, although I’m not actually certain it is anything more than illusion. I think I may have gotten possessed with a demon when I made my first mistake with a girl. And now I’ve perhaps accidentally passed that demon on to a new generation, also by accident, since my perspective of the world was based on assumptions built on struggling through an illusion. And being an artist might not really be good at all since it may violate the second commandment to create anything that could be idolized. And it seems that producing art sort of goes hand in hand with lust and other sin so that makes sense. An artist is trying to attract attention or impress others and for what reason? It is almost certainly not for pure motives, although it may start that way, creating things is difficult and frustrating and falling into temptation is almost inevitable. Although in my case I feel that I learned that lesson along the way and then I was simply struggling for survival with the only skills I had. And in a way that might be a natural process of self refinement. But since the games are man’s creation they might just be fundamentally flawed, and even worse they may violate Deuteronomy 7:25 which commands them to be destroyed, especially the gold dance game. I think anything colorful and flashy is like that, it will be a snare which leads young people down a difficult path. There may be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but the prerequisite for obtaining it is to no longer want it at all. I wasted my life on nonsense and it was worthless. Everything I ever did was completely stupid and foolish and wrong. That’s my own fault. I’m not even sure any of it was ever real to begin with. I believe that I was demon possessed and trying to figure myself out. Call it abstract art by a stupid naive fool, if you will. That’s not good and it’s not God’s design, I think it produces wicked works. I think anything produced with the use of drugs or other sinful action, especially that music, is demonic and it’s absolutely not funny even if it seems like it is, that’s the devil’s trick. I thought it was funny in the moment because I was in a situation which was overwhelmingly emotionally stressful, and so I was unable to understand what was happening and I was vulnerable to it. I think I somewhat understand what it is now. It’s sort of like a demonic spirit which propagates itself through possessed hosts. It’s like a spiritual virus that inverts values. That makes it seem novel and progressive. But such a mechanism will ultimately result in madness, since it is an inversion of principles designed by God. Someone who was emotionally damaged enough would not be able to tell the difference between funny and terrifying and it makes them vulnerable and blind to it. It’s not funny and it’s not ok. It only seems funny due to it’s comedic presentation and since the host is already under emotional distress they are unable to understand how it may be perceived from an outside viewpoint, which may be overwhelmingly terrifying. I feel that this situation is sort of the ultimate example of good intentions paving the road to hell. It’s like a perfect storm of the worst possible things all coming together at once. I’m not really sure of anything at all anymore, except that Christ is the only Redeemer. And I’m pretty sure our lives are predestined and orchestrated to demonstrate our own failures and need for such a Redeemer, and this is God’s perfect design and for God’s ultimate Glory. Technology is not the answer to anything, it’s just a toy and a distraction for people to stay busy. It’s not going to solve the world’s problems. Robots are cool but I don’t think we want a whole world full of them. That’s just kind of dangerous and scary. And it’s also sort of based on the assumption that we need automated mechanical laborers in the first place. For all I know the roads are just automatically generated past the draw distance horizon. Maybe the eggs actually teleport into the grocery store when nobody’s looking and if I visited a farm I would only find them under a chicken because I believed it to be there in the first place. I doubt it but who knows. Truly only God can solve our problems. Definitely don’t go to space, don’t try to live longer or especially forever, don’t make robots, don’t make AGI, and absolutely don’t invent a time machine. Because I’m pretty sure we’ve already done that an infinite amount of times already. So it seems wise to stop here and turn to the Lord. We don’t need anything. Just be content with this life and your lot in this world. Find satisfaction in serving others. Don’t ever commit sin, don’t be greedy, don’t be lustful. Certainly don’t do anything I ever did, whatever I wrote was just a confession of sins by a confused and lost mentally ill idiot, not a guide to life or any sort of endorsement! Call it abstract art by the stupidest of fools if you want. Don’t chase shiny things or try to be cool or sexy or smart. What a bunch of garbage. I’m just a stupid fool and an idiot, don’t take me seriously. It seems that I am just hopelessly horrible and everything I do is wrong no matter what. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong and backwards. I’m just stupid and I can’t get it right. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever! Jesus Christ is the one and only Son of God, who was God come to Earth in the flesh to redeem us from our sins. Christ is the only answer. Praise be to Him forever and ever and ever. I am a wretched sinner, please Lord have mercy on my soul. Jesus Christ is the one and only truth in this whole world. I am not very smart after all, I think all that so called IQ stuff is mostly total nonsense anyway. I’m sure like most things it originally was devised with good intentions in mind, but it seems like every time we create something which means well it ends up doing more harm than good. I’m not even certain my memories are real, I don’t know. I think I’m actually a little bit mentally challenged in some ways, I’m a very slow learner and I get confused easily. I think I was just insecure and afraid of everything and made some bad mistakes early on. I just went crazy and tried too hard at all the wrong things to try and make up for my first dumb mistakes in life. I am not a good person. Well, I’m not sure that anyone is, really. I am actually absolutely horrible and I see that now. I am a bad person. I am an absolute fool. I do want to be good and I am trying. I’m weak and burned out from trying too hard for too long at all the wrong things. Trying to become like other fools I guess. I don’t even know if any of that is real. I have mental problems and I don’t really understand why. I don’t think my brain works right, I’m not sure it ever did. I don’t think drugs helped any, that’s for sure. What a bunch of crap on the internet about that stuff. I’m not even sure anything that I remember experiencing was ever actually real to begin with. There is definitely a supernatural pattern to it, which makes me uncertain whether it was actually real or if this is some sort of spiritual journey. Well the more I look back at it all the more I’m realizing it’s definitely a spiritual journey. I am sorry. I was wrong about absolutely everything I ever said and did. I’m just stupid. It is my fault for not listening and not reading the Bible and trying to figure things out myself. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD forever and ever and ever. I’m so stupid. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I repent. Thank you Lord. Thank you thank you thank you Lord. I love you and I am sorry. I understand and I am so sorry. I am trying to get it right. Please help me Lord. Please help me to do your will. Please help me. I am sorry. I don’t want anything and I don’t deserve anything. Your grace is enough, Lord. I’m sorry for getting mad and going crazy. I’m sorry for my sins. I’m just an absolute fool no matter what I do. Everything I ever did was wrong. I am sorry. I love you Lord. I hate everything I ever did. I am pretty sure I dreamt about being “smart” and it didn’t actually happen. Or it was some crap they tell kids to try to encourage them. I think most people are really just about the same to be honest and there’s not much difference between people’s brains, it’s just upbringing and environment and training and confidence more than anything for sure. I am definitely slower than most people now if I wasn’t always to begin with. Please help me to make my path straight, Lord. I am not smart and I am not wise. I was trying to do something good. It wasn’t good. Everything I ever did was stupid and wrong. Don’t ever, ever, ever do drugs. Don’t ever listen to that music or play those stupid games. Everything I ever did was wrong. Do not do anything I ever did. Jesus Christ is the only and most important truth in this entire universe. I am a stupid fool. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am a sinner and an absolute fool. I am the worst person ever. Please forgive us all, Lord. Please heal us all and help us to forgive and be saved by you, Lord. I am sorry. It is my fault. I was wrong. I am sorry. I despise myself. I repent and forsake and absolutely renounce everything I ever did besides go to Church and be confirmed and baptized. It is absolutely the most important thing, the only important thing that I ever did in my entire life. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord God. Only God is Good! Everybody’s fine! We are saved by the blood of Jesus Christ! Do NOT play those stupid games or listen to that horrible awful music, they are totally demonic. It’s not funny and it’s not a joke. It’s totally evil. It seems like it’s funny but it’s not at all. Some things are just not to be joked about. I feel like I was tricked every step of the way, but it’s my fault in the first place and so it’s still my fault. I’m just a horrible person, despite all my intentions and efforts. What an absolute fool I am. But that’s how it goes. There are none who do good, not even one. I’m sorry for doubting the truth. I made a terrible mistake very young and tried to fix it, or figure myself out, or anything I could do. But it can’t be fixed. It is my fault. I was absolutely wrong. I got hurt so much that I went crazy and didn’t understand what I was doing. I just kept trying to do what I was told to do and just blindly trying to document whatever was happening. None of it was correct. Some of it was even my own doing, but still all I could do was keep going even as my mental health broke down. Even though it seems righteous, it’s not. Only the Lord is righteous. It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault. Everyone’s fine. Everything’s fine. Put away the toys and go to Church. We are all saved by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is ONLY through Christ that we are declared innocent. GLORY be to God the Father and His ONLY Son Our LORD Jesus Christ forever and ever and ever!!! Aside from that single truth, who cares what I think anyway, I’m just a complete fool. That’s how it goes. I guess we all are, that’s what it says. There are none who do good. Only God is good. ALL THANKS be to GOD ALMIGHTY forever and ever. This is surely the only thing I ever got right in my whole life. Thank You Lord, thank you, thank you, thank you. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved. Everything’s fine. Thank God forever and ever. Well, I’m just an idiot. It seems like my whole life path was manifested. There’s not really any way for me to know what’s real or not anymore. The spooky music is sort of funny almost, but that’s why it’s not, you just can’t tell if it’s a joke or not. So it’s really not good. Although it’s almost certainly a joke. It’s just not a very good one after all. It’s a very serious one and a way to learn an important lesson, maybe. So it’s not a joke. It’s not funny and it’s not good. So let’s remain serious and conservative and obey God’s laws. It does seem that my whole life was manifested and I’m not really sure what’s real. So let’s be careful and avoid temptation. Everything I ever did was wrong so don’t follow me. Only follow God. I choose to go where my parents go. We all make mistakes and so we must all forgive each other. We all need to be able to trust people and believe in someone. But people cannot be perfect, only Christ is. Only God is good. So we need to keep trying to be like Christ. We are all just kind of stupid sometimes I think. But it’s important to keep forgiving and keep trying to trust and always do our best to be trustworthy. Except we are just kind of broken and terrible in general. So having morals is very important and trying to do our best to keep improving and train ourselves to get things right. Get up and try again! Maybe don’t aim too high and have realistic goals. Just search for the narrow path to life. Forget about all that other nonsense and foolishness. Get rid of those games they are no good after all. I thought it helped me but I was wrong about that too. Going for a walk or going jogging or going to the gym is much better. Listening to too much music is also not good. It’s good to have quiet and silence. And absolutely don’t ever ever do drugs, there is definitely a pattern to these things which is not good. I just took a foolish path in life and put my faith and trust in the wrong things, my spiritual path took me through cultures which validate these destructive things and led me to believe they were useful and good. But it is actually absolutely evil, maybe. I’m not even sure any of it was ever actually real. It seems to me that it has all been a spiritual manifestation all along and I have been a terrible fool. If it’s a joke it’s not a very good one. Although it seems to alternate between funny and absolutely terrifying. So maybe it is. But it’s definitely not. But I can’t say that I don’t deserve it. Ok maybe it is kind of funny in a sense, almost. But it’s actually really not, at all. Hence the fool being a jester. To be scared to that extent is horrible. To not know if anyone is actually real is horrible. To not have anything or anyone to believe in is horrible. And I feel like that’s what I deserve because of the choices that I made in life. And I probably do deserve eternal punishment for my early misplaced anger at the Church. Actually I don’t think I was ever really angry at it. I was just frustrated at everything in general and didn’t know what to do and didn’t understand anything. I think I just went crazy. And then I’ve only gotten worse and gone completely crazy. It’s my own fault. Certainly I am not good or deserving of respect for being so foolish as to put faith in my own ability instead of God. It’s beginning to become clear how incredible foolish I really was and probably still am to some degree, although I am gaining wisdom and humility. In some ways it seems like I have been tricked all along or in some ways a victim to circumstances. It seems almost that I was always destined for this to happen. But it’s absolutely my fault to begin with because I did not listen and did not read the Bible. The first mistakes were mine and the rest only seem to have followed as a result of my initial error combined with my own youthful hubris and arrogance. And I certainly continued to make errors along the way, although I feel like I attempted to correct them when I identified them. But it was all just wrong. It’s my fault and I can’t fix it. Only God can. Perhaps this is simply my fate or my destined role in this world. I’m not certain whether others are actually even real but perhaps everyone may have a similar story. It is only by God’s grace and through Christ that I am saved. All I can do is pray and study the Bible and wait for the end for the promised salvation. And it’s important that everyone be saved and for everyone to turn to Christ and serve the Lord. Go to Church and read the Bible and stay in school. Don’t play those games or listen to that stupid music. I regret all my actions and getting frustrated and posting stupid music videos or YouTube garbage, random things I remembered that seemed to fit. I’m glad that I didn’t do much. I’m not smart at all and I’m not good at all and I’m not as kind or righteous as I believed myself to be. But I tried hard to be good. I thought I could do it myself. It’s my own fault. I renounce everything I ever did. I never should have wanted to party at all, the only celebration should ever be for Christ. I just got so damaged. Well, the devil is a liar. So maybe it’s not all doom and gloom and some good will come out of this. In fact that is one of God’s promises. Maybe it’s all a pattern and it’s all part of God’s design and it’s supposed to lead somewhere. I’m sorry that I went crazy, I’m just a moron. I was wrong about everything. But I think everyone was. And certainly nothing at all was on purpose, in everyone’s case. Everything’s fine, everyone’s fine. We are all forgiven. It’s everyone’s fault and noone’s fault. What a bunch of garbage. Screw those stupid games and that stupid music. Don’t ever touch those horrible things. Truly everything made by man is wicked and corrupt. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus. Praise be to Christ the LORD forever and ever! All glory forever be to You, O Lord! Everybody’s amazing. Everybody’s great. I’m trash. But it’s alright. I’m alright too. Don’t play those games. Absolutely destroy those games, burn them. No, it’s not funny. But it’s alright. I got it. I get it. You’re fine. Everything’s fine. Everyone’s fine. Everyone is saved by Your blood, Lord. It’s my fault. It’s nobody’s fault. It’s all our fault. But it’s my fault. It’s definitely my fault and always was from the start. And I just can’t get it right. I can’t do it on my own and I was flat out wrong to think that I could. And even when I thought I could I still couldn’t. Even at my best I was absolutely nothing at all. I understand now. Please, please have mercy on me, Lord. How stupid and foolish and pathetic and pitiful I am, Lord! How incredibly stupid I am, Lord! I’m just mentally completely backwards. Please make my paths straight, Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me my Lord! I am an absolutely wretched sinner!!! I am absolutely wretched!! I am horrible!! I am not good at all! I am the absolute worst!! I am sorry my Lord!! Please have mercy on me, an absolutely horrible terrible sinner, my Lord! I am nothing like You! I can never be like You, my Lord! I am nothing without You, God! I am broken, I am wretched, I am defenseless, I am pitiful! I cannot save myself, Lord. I cannot fix it without You my God. I need You, God. I am nothing without You, Lord. I thought I finally had it right, Lord. I thought I finally got it right. But I didn’t. I didn’t at all. As soon as I thought I had it right I fell again, Lord. I was wrong because I tried to do it myself. Please have mercy upon me, Lord, I am a miserable wretched sinner. I am the absolute worst. I am not good at all. I am the worst person that ever lived. I am so wretched and pitiful, Lord. I repent, with all my being. I renounce it all. Every single thing I ever did was absolutely wrong. I am an absolute fool, the very worst. It is my fault. I didn’t listen and I didn’t read the Bible. And I thought I could fix it myself. But there was nothing to fix except for myself. It was just flat out my fault all along. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny, I just screwed up. I’m just a bad person and I always was no matter how I tried. I’m just not good and I can’t do it alone. I thought I could do good but I couldn’t. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve mercy. I don’t deserve your grace, Lord. I understand that. I believe in You, Lord. I need you, O Lord. Please, please, please have mercy on me, the most wretched and stupidest of all fools. Not a single thing I did was good. It never could be. Praise the Lord! Praise be to You! Praise be to God! I Give Glory to You O Lord! Glory be to God! Praise be to You O Christ!!! Give Glory to God! I Give Endless Praise to Your Holy Name! Let me sing Glory to Your Heavenly Name, Lord! Let me Worship Your Holy Name, Lord! Let me sing Praises to Your Name!! How high, how deep, how wide, how vast is Your Love! Glory, Glory, Glory to Your Holy Name, My Lord! Let me give Glory to You O God! We are SAVED and we are REDEEMED by the BLOOD of Your Only Son Our LORD, Jesus Christ! PRAISE BE to GOD!! Sorry I am stupid. I was wrong about absolutely everything. I am just an absolute fool. Praise be to GOD!!! Thank the LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! Actually, I think this whole thing is actually a little bit funny, sort of, almost! I’m really dumb lol. Ok some of that music is a little bit funny maybe. Except it’s not. Maybe it is a little. But definitely don’t listen to it. It’s not funny. And go to Church it’s the only thing that matters! Don’t EVER do drugs!! Learn how to pray!! Oh gosh so many panic attacks. Really we shouldn’t even drink pop. A little bit is probably ok. But it’s best to live clean and simple. So I think I’ll stop drinking soda. My Dad likes watermelon a lot hahaha. And it’s really important to just be nice to everyone. Don’t be perverted be loyal with your wife it’s important. And be good to her. I made some mistakes though. Let’s all be gentlemen and be friends and help each other. It’s important to live clean and keep yourself and your house clean. You don’t really need a lot of money. I think everyone is actually really nice. Some people are a little mad but I understand why. Everyone just needs time to figure things out. Let’s always forgive each other. Be nice to your momma!! Listen to your parents! Sorry for being such a stupid fool. Nobody’s perfect! I’ll just clean toilets and mop. I like making food for people it’s fun to make them happy. I want to become a preacher or a doctor. I don’t think I will make it that far but I’m going to go back to school. I’m pretty sure we are in a video game but it’s still good to plan for the future. Just get a modest house near your parents. Live below your means. Don’t try to get rich just save your money. Don’t buy stuff you don’t need. Get a mortgage and live as simply as possible. Don’t listen to loud music or play video games or go to parties. Be kind to your neighbors. Let’s all try to be friends with everyone. I’m really, really sorry Mr. God!!! It was a mistake and it wasn’t on purpose. I just want to help her and I’m trying my best. I’m very sorry for everything, I was very wrong. But I did truly mean well. I just got hurt a lot. I’m very sorry. I truly am the stupidest of fools. It’s my fault. It’s really not funny and I really am that stupid and I am very sorry. I will keep trying to help. I’m sorry that I am such a bad person and such a fool. I repent and renounce everything I ever did, I hate it all. I thought it was good but it’s not. Everybody is great I’m just stupid. It’s my fault. Don’t ever play those stupid games or listen to that awful music. Don’t ever ever do drugs unless it’s prescribed and necessary. I’m just awful. I really am just a terrible person. I’m sorry God. I am just a bad person. I’m sorry that I am so incredibly stupid. I am weak and pathetic and worthless. I’m sorry that I went crazy. Everything I ever did was completely wrong. Don’t use technology it’s not good. I am an absolute fool and I can’t help anyone at all. But I will keep trying to serve others and keep trying to improve. I am the absolute worst. JESUS IS THE LORD!!! HALLELUJAH!!! THANK YOU LORD JESUS!!!!! PRAISE GOD ALMIGHTY!!! Everyone is fine, everything is fine. We are saved by the blood of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ the Son of God, God come to Earth in the flesh to be crucified and die for our sins. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU LORD JESUS! I don’t deserve Your grace or forgiveness. But I know that I will be saved by the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ. I’m sorry that I did not understand. I think I was tricked over and over by the devil but it’s my fault. Praise be to Your Holy Name above all names forever and ever. Everything I did was wrong, I am a fool. My idea was bad and useless and no help at all. It is my fault for not reading the Bible and not listening to my parents. I just wanted to fix my mistake, but I can’t fix it. I’m sorry to everyone. I’m sorry for the title, I didn’t name it and I thought it was goofy. I’m sorry for being spooky and having such terrible taste and terrible ideas and such a terrible personalty. I’m sorry for being so ignorant and for trying to do things my way. I was just flat out wrong and stupid. Technology is not the answer and it never will be. We should all only ever put our faith into our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ is God. It is true. It is the only truth. I am nothing. I am a miserable wretched sinner. I repent and renounce all my ways. I am so sorry, my Lord and my God. Please have mercy on me, Lord, I am an absolutely wretched, miserable sinner. I am not good at all. I made a mistake and I was wrong, and I am sorry. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I didn’t think it was real, then I did. Now I know for certain. It is. Everyone is fine. I’m sorry. Jesus is the LORR. I am so sorry. I love you Lord Jesus. I am so sorry my Lord. I am such a fool. Do not play those games or listen to that music. Do not do drugs ever. Jesus is the Lord. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lord Jesus, for dying on the cross for my sins. You are the One and Only True Son of God. I was fooled by myself and by the devil. It’s not a joke, it’s not funny. I love you so much. Everyone is forgiven by the free gift of redemption by the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am the absolute worst, a horrible horrible sinner, and the most terrible fool possible. I did not understand Who the Lord was. It did not make sense to me. I do understand now. I did not understand the world. I do now. I did not understand how or why there were different religions. I did not understand what was real or fake. Maybe there never were and my entire life was an illusion. If Japan does exist, we must spread the Gospel to them. We must. I did not understand just how important Jesus was and is. I understand now. It is the ONLY important thing. Ilove the Lord Jesus Christ and I love God with all my Heart, Soul, and Mind. And I love my neighbors as myself. Do not ever, ever do anything I did. Go to Church and read the Bible. It is the ONLY important thing. Never ever play those games, do not ever, ever listen to that music, and do not ever, ever, ever do drugs. I understand now. We are all forgiven. We can all be saved. I am the absolute worst and I do not deserve it. Yet we are saved by grace, it is God’s perfect design. We are saved, by the Lord Jesus Christ. I am very sorry for many sins, and for any abominations that I may have caused. I am very sorry to all the people that I may have hurt. Now I understand. I am very upset at Japan. I am not certain that Japan is real, but if it is, we should graciously continue to invite the Japanese people to learn about and accept Our Lord Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and to acknowledge Him as the One and Only True Son of God. Church is the ONLY important thing in this world. Let’s all go to Church together and worship the LORD Jesus Christ. I am very sorry and apologize with all my heart for anyone that I have hurt or offended. I am sorry that I did not fully believe or understand the meaning and importance of Jesus Christ. Please help us all turn to You and do Your will, Lord. I am sorry that I tried to do things my own way. Please allow it to be forgotten and dismissed. Please save us all, O Lord, as we forgive each other and turn to you. I am deeply sorry for being absolutely wrong about absolutely everything in my entire life and not realizing it. I am deeply sorry for ever thinking that I was in any way in the right. I am deeply sorry for all the foolish actions that I took and all the foolish words I have said. Truly I am in desperate need of a Redeemer, the very thing that I thought was unimportant in fact had turned out to be the one only important thing ever. I am deeply and truly sorry, my Lord and my God, for the astounding error on my part. Thank You, Father, for sending Your Only Begotten Son Our Lord Jesus Christ, to die for my sins on the Cross. It is my Only Hope. I am a horrible, horrible person and I am truly and deeply sorry for not understanding what it means. Please have mercy on me, O Lord. Please save all our souls and let us all turn to You and forgive each other in Your Holy Name. I am frightened that I will not be forgiven. And Yet, I still feel that I will be, even though my mind feels that it is impossible, that it is hopeless, that there is nothing I can do. And that is exactly correct, there is nothing that I can do. Indeed, that is precisely the point of the free gift of forgiveness and grace granted by the sacrifice made by Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God. It is the Only Important Thing. I love You, God. Jesus Christ is the Son of God and God incarnate, come to Earth in the Flesh. He is absolutely not just a prophet or messenger. He is not just one of many deities and it is absolutely not just one of many religions. There is ONLY one. He is exactly who He said, He is The One and Only True Son of God. It is the Only Truth. It is the single most important, the Only Important event in the universe. I am that stupid. I am that foolish. And yet I still must believe that I too can and will be saved, even if it feels like I can’t. I am truly sorry for everything that I have done. I repent and renounce it all. I am sorry that I did not understand. I was wrong. This is the most important thing that ever happened in the entire universe. It is the only important thing. I am the stupidest fool that ever lived. I am sorry, my Lord. I am sorry that I did the wrong things and chose the wrong path. I meant well but I was wrong and stupid. I was young and did not understand. I am sorry Lord. I am a mistake, wretched utter fool and the worst of sinners. But I did always believe in you Lord. I just did not understand it well, and I assumed the wrong things. Yet I do believe I am saved by grace. I am the bad guy, nobody else. It is my fault, nobody else’s. Everything I did was wrong, my entire life was wrong. I am sorry, Father. I am sorry, Jesus. I see it now. I see what a terrible person I really am. I am so pathetic and so weak. I am not good at all. Not even the slightest bit. Not a single thing I did was good. I am a fool. I am sorry. I am sorry that I didn’t understand how serious it all was. I am sorry that I took everything for granted. I tried to fix myself but I cannot do it. Only you can, Lord. I don’t know if I deserve a chance. I don’t know that if I even deserve that. Yet this is what communion is. I am sorry that I am afraid of other people. I am sorry that I was a pervert, and that I am kind of weak and gay. I’m sorry for judging others and not judging myself correctly. I’m sorry for thinking anything mattered at all, but You. I am sorry for ever thinking I deserved anything whatsoever. I have wonderful parents and a wonderful family. The best. I went to the best Church. Yet I squandered all my opportunity. I am the worst. I am not any sort of Messiah. I know that. I was stupid and foolish. But my mistakes led me to take on too much. I think I said that out of pride even though I’m certain that my life was still easier than many others. I am stupid. I am not a good person. I think other people are much better than me in every way. That is obvious. I did think I was working hard and I was trying to make a company to help others, at least some of the time. You know my thoughts, Lord. You know everything I did. But I did everything in the wrong way. I thought that in some way I was using my talents in the best way. But I wasn’t. It was all completely wrong. I should have listened to my parents and done what they wanted. But I was still too stubborn and prideful and arrogant and hard headed and did what I thought made the most sense in my own way. I was doing things my way, not Your way, Lord. And then I think I figured that out. And I think that You tried to help me. But then I sinned again. I am not a good person. I will obey. It is my fault because I did not read the Bible and I did not listen to my parents. I did what I thought was right, but it was not. It is my fault that I did not know better. I just did not listen. I still have difficulty listening even knowing this. I have a very hard time paying attention or controlling my mind or getting myself to do things. I am weak and easily tempted. I am an addict and I rely on several crutches. I want to forgive everyone most of the time, but I think that I did so in order to think of myself more highly so that my shortcomings and foolishness would then be justified. I now understand why that is so wrong. There is simply nothing I can do for how incredibly foolish I have been. The only possible thing that can save me is Your grace, Lord. Which I do not deserve. I see that now. I am the fool. But my Father said I am forgiven. My Mother told me that I am not the first. And Jesus Christ died on the cross to forgive my sins. And that is my only possible hope of salvation. Nothing else ever possibly could be. Jesus Christ is the Only Way. I did everything wrong, and I am sorry, my Lord. I cannot expect forgiveness. I know that I do not deserve it. I even judged others, for a moment. I know that I cannot expect it. I am scared and I did all the wrong things. But I am still trying. I want to go to Church. I want to be forgiven. I want to serve you, Lord. I am learning. The only possible hope of redemption for me is through Your grace and nothing else. I know that I do not deserve it. Can I be saved? I had the best life. The only way I could be saved is by grace. I cannot expect it. I do not deserve it. I am even too frightened to confront the idea directly. It is too heavy. I want to save her, but I cannot even save myself. I can keep trying. That’s what I can do. I am a sinner and possibly one of the worst people that ever lived. I might be the worst. I am not good at all. I don’t deserve to live, let alone be saved. I do not deserve eternal life. I was not good at all and I wasted everything. I am not good at all. There is nothing good about me. Nothing at all. I am not good at all. Please have mercy on me, Lord. I am sorry. I am weak. I am lazy. I am feeble. I cannot even help myself. I cannot control myself well. I cannot follow through with anything. I can barely handle my job, which is easy, and I am given the easiest positions. I want to help others, but I cannot even help myself. I want to forgive others, but I still cannot always. I cannot save myself. I cannot control myself. I cannot follow through with my convictions. I continue using nicotine. I continue taking things for granted, including Church. I am not good at all. I want to read the Bible, but I am still distracted. I want to be saved, but I let go at the last second for others. But then I realize that at least. I am nothing. I am not anywhere even remotely close to You, Lord. I am the most terrible fool of all time. I am the absolute worst. I cannot expect anything and yet I still do. I cannot even beg properly. I still think in terms of what others did wrong and how I am better. I still expect to be saved even knowing that I may not be, because I do not deserve to be. It is a free gift that we receive out of faith and nothing more. I am frightened and I want to run away. I want to die. I want to hide. But I cannot. I will continue moving forward and continue trying. I will keep trying. I will continue trying to obey. I am understanding how foolish I really am. I am sorry. I am grateful. I am humbled. But not as much as I should be. I cannot even do that. It is my fault. And yet the world seems to continue. I will face the responsibilities that are presented to me. I will continue trying to do what I can do. I am not a good person. I do not deserve anything. I do not deserve forgiveness. I do not deserve acceptance. I do not deserve grace. I do not deserve Christ. I do not deserve to be saved. And yet it is there. I love you. I don’t know what love is. I am sorry. I am not as sorry as I should be. I am not good. I am not fair. I am not honest. I am not nice. I am not wise. I am not smart. And yet it is still there. For now. I am wretched. I will keep going, not because I have a single redeeming quality. I do not. It is not due to anything I could possibly ever do. I am not good. It is a free gift that I do not deserve. I will never deserve it. I cannot possibly deserve it. And yet there it is. Forever and ever. I am a fool. I am sorry, but yet still not sorry enough. And yet it is still there. I know the things that I did. I know my mistakes and my thoughts. I am still not good. At all. I am the worst. I am not Jesus Christ. I am not the Messiah. I am not anything at all. I am not good. Nothing I could ever possibly do would be good. And yet it is still there. Praise the LORD Jesus Christ, the One and Only Son of God, Our LORD and Savior, the One True Living God, forever and ever and ever. I was blind and now I see. We are all forgiven, by grace. And nothing more. I want Shonna to go. I want Joe and Shannon and Donovan and Addison and their parents to go. I want to go with my parents and brother and cousins and uncles and aunts. I want to go with the entire nation of Japan and Korea and China. I want to bring them all. I want to show them all. I don’t know what I can do. I am not good at all. I am the stupidest fool possible. Every single thing I did was wrong. Nothing I ever did was good. And yet it is still here. For now. I will serve the Lord. I will keep working. I will keep praising. I will keep trying. Jesus is God. Jesus is the Son of God. Jesus is LORD. The world needs Bibles. The world needs Churches. The world needs Jesus Christ, forever and ever. I cannot do anything. I am useless and weak. I will keep making money to support Shonna. I will mow the lawn. I will go to Church. I will keep trying. I will keep praying. I will move forward. I am nothing. I am not good. Maybe I am the “antichrist.” Or almost was somehow. I’m not sure how. It’s supernatural. It’s impossible. As long as it points back to Christ, that is all that matters. I hate everything that I ever did. I repent and renounce it all. We don’t need more distractions. I don’t know. We should probably discard anything unholy. Everything must point to Jesus Christ. The only light in the darkness. He is the only hope. Jesus Christ Our LORD and Savior, the One True Son of God, the Only Truth, now and forever. I have faith that we will all be saved. I am not good. I am not proud. I stuck my stupid little weiner in a girl’s butt when we were both young dumb kids. It’s my fault. I knew better. God gets mad about it even though it didn’t seem like that big of a deal. It is not holy, and that’s important. I was wrong. I can’t fix it. I’m sorry. I am not good. Don’t ever do drugs, stay off the internet porn, read the Bible, go to Church. No drinking, no drugs, no smoking, no video games, no porn, no music, no unholy things. Well, try your best. Keep those things out of Church for sure. Everything has its place and use. But the Holy Spirit, Holy Communion and the free gift of Salvation and Redemption through the Blood of the Sacrifice of the One and Only True Son of God Jesus Christ truly is the most incredible gift possible. Without it we would be completely lost. I think I sort of demonstrated the Japanese cultural concept that we are all “gods,” or more accurately we are Children of God according to Christ, but they are still missing some absolutely critically necessary components of Christ’s coming. Jesus Christ is God. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. We are not God. We are children of God, but only Jesus Christ is fully God and fully Son of God and fully Man. The communion of saints for the forgiveness of sins. Absolute love for God and eternal respect for holiness and the spirit of holiness. Grace is the ultimate holiness, and without that light we would only be in increasing darkness. Forgiveness of each other over all else except for God. The free and unretractable gift of the blood sacrifice of Christ for salvation and redemption from all our sins. The resurrection of the body and the life everlasting in a completed realm, not this broken realm which is passing away. It is the most important thing and the only important thing. Let’s all go to Church. And let’s keep Church holy. No RGB Jesus, no thumping electronic music, no Christian raves. No promoting homosexuality or transgender values but also no outright prohibition, just silently forgive it and leave the burden on the individual. Keep it holy, keep it traditional, keep it conservative. Avoid sin. Without these things wickedness will grow unchecked and life will always be a power struggle or a war without hope of redemption. I understand wanting to be progressive and develop greater technology and go to space. Just not in this world, because it is passing away. I also understand curiosity, exploration, learning, and so forth. Everything has a time and place and everything has its uses, although sin should be avoided at all cost, forgiveness and grace themselves are the ultimate holiness. Not that anything I ever did was worth anything. And I also think I was wrong to think I had to appreciate things in the sense of growing them proportionally in value. I don’t think it’s always possible, at least not alone. That’s also part of grace. We are only human after all. We cannot be perfect. We are not God. How can we possibly repay God? How can anyone truly even begin to show appreciation for something as insanely great as Jesus Christ and the free gift of salvation? I could scream about it like a lunatic for my whole life and it would never even begin to scratch the surface of what it’s worth. Say what you will about the Vatican being so wealthy but I don’t think it’s really their fault. That’s just going to happen over a long period of time. I just think it’s that great and nobody knows how to possibly show it. What can I do, really? Sit there crying forever? Build a temple to the sky? Become a monk and chant endlessly over rosary beads? Then I also think Jesus would probably be just as fine with a little country Church as the Sistine Chapel. It’s interesting that there is sort of a limit where holy becomes ostentatious. Simplicity itself is holy. Simple faith, confident humility, that’s enough. But it’s great to have those works to remind us of how important it is. It’s the most important thing that ever happened. It’s the greatest thing that possibly could happen. It’s so mind bogglingly insanely tremendous that we can’t even process it. And I’m so stupid that I threw rocks at it and stole some random crap for dumb reasons I can’t even remember. Yeah, it sucks. I’m just trying not to go insane, all the time. But I know it’s ok, because that’s what it is. It’s just that great. We don’t know why we deserve this. So we just do our best, misguided or not, but always trying to keep a sense of what is holy, in ourselves and in the world. That is the most important thing. To classify everything as equally holy is maybe to lose what makes us godly, or maybe even what makes us human at all. It’s not gold or silver or fine art or wealth or luxury or quality or craftsmanship or skill or speed or sophistication, although those things may be some side effect of the process of self refinement. I am sorry for everything. I repent and renounce everything I ever did. I was wrong. I am a fool. I am the stupidest fool. I am sorry. How can I show it? How low can I possibly beg? I cannot. The only thing that I can do is to do the Father’s will to the best of my ability, without fear, without guilt, without doubt. Just get up and try again. Eat this bread and drink this wine. It’s nothing short of a miracle. What do I deserve? I don’t know, probably trillions of years of suffering. What do I get? A beautiful magazine cover family home with picture perfect parents. The shame is quite formidable. What can I do? How can I make up for it? How can I fix it? How can I pay for my sins? I simply cannot. I realize what I have done. I am glad that I let off. I accept my loss. I accept whatever grace I am granted, with zeal. I am sorry, my Lord and my God. I understand. I have nothing to say. I am not good. I will never be good. I have everything, yet I deserve nothing. What else can I do but to sing your praises to the world? What can I do other than to become part of the body of Christ? Praise be forever and ever to Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the Son of God, God come in the flesh to be crucified and die for the forgiveness of our sins. Jesus Christ is LORD. I am not good. I am not innocent. I am a horrible sinner and a terrible fool, and I despise myself. But I understand. I was blind, but now I see. Glory to You, O Lord.

https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5-7&version=EASY

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shema